"Really, you will?"

Yaz's heart thudded in her throat as the Doctor leant back, watching her with an unreadable expression.

"Yeah," the young officer nodded again, not really sure what she was agreeing to.

"Thank you," the Doctor's face flickered with emotion – joy, gratitude, and a deep sadness.

Then, still with young officer's hand in hers, she shuffled down onto the mattress, lying on her uninjured side and pulling Yaz down with her. They lay there, hands clasped together between them, eyes fixed on each other. For that moment they were closer than they had ever been – gazes locked, chests rising and falling in sync with the other.

Yaz wanted this moment to last, to exist this way forever, but she had to know.

"Doctor, I -" she started and then stuttered to a halt, unsure how to go on.

The timelord kept her eyes fixed on Yaz's but said nothing.

"I need to –" her words deserted her again. How was this so hard?

The Doctor kept gazing at her, eyebrows creased in adorable confusion.

"I mean – hang, on, who is that?" Yaz sat up slightly, her wandering gaze having landed on a photo of a smiling blonde poking out from the bedside cabinet.

The Doctor's face fell when she saw where Yaz had been looking, and the light in her eyes seemed to dim.

"That's Rose Tyler."

"Oh."

A thousand questions whirled through Yaz's mind. Who was this girl? Why did the Doctor keep a photo of her next to her bed? Why did she make the Doctor so sad?

"Did she hurt you?" Yaz's protective instincts took over.

"No! Well, yeah – but no, not on purpose."

"Doctor," the word was half-plea, half-fear.

"It's complicated and – "

"If this is you telling me to butt out, that's ok, it's your life, but I thought we were friends… I thought…" Yaz trailed off, biting the inside of her cheek, feeling upset, angry, and selfish all at once. How had it come to this? Just moments ago they were so happy, and possibly on the cusp of something more.

"Yaz?"

She heard her name but looked away, unable to meet the Doctor's gaze. Needing suddenly to get out of there, get some air, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and made to get up.

She felt a tugging at her sleeve and turned around.

"You said you'd stay," the Doctor's eyes were wide and confused, tears threatening behind those long lashes.

Yaz stayed put for a second, not trusting herself to speak.

"You didn't let me finish," She could hear the wobble in the timelord's voice. "I was trying to say: 'it's complicated and it's time you knew', then you got all angry and saying we're not friends, and now you're leaving when you said you'd stay."

Yaz felt her heart break a little at the last line. She couldn't stand being the one who made the Doctor's smile wilt.

"I'm sorry," she said as she leant over and drew the Doctor into a tight hug, "of course I'll stay. I'll always stay." They clung to each other, faces buried deep into brown and blonde hair, necks damp with tears.

"- oo smell 'ice," the Doctor muttered into Yaz's hair after a minute. The vibrations of her voice made Yaz crease up slightly, snuffling a giggle into the Doctor's neck. She too scrunched her shoulders, with a squeak, trying to push Yaz away.

"Ticklish much?" Yaz grinned, wiping her eyes, but not able to resist a tease.

"Nope, not me, that would be dangerou- eeeeeeeeeeyyy!"

The Doctor yelped as Yaz launched an attack, digging her fingers into the timelord's ribs and tickling up and under the arms. The blonde squealed, trying to get out of range and bat away Yaz's hands, who was chuckling at the ridiculousness of the situation.

"Honestly, Doc, who knew you had a weakness?"

"I have many!" the Doctor laughed back delightedly, rolling to avoid the oncoming assault, misjudging the distance, and toppling clean off the bed.

"You ok?" Yaz spat through fits of laughter.

The Doctor's head poked up over the side of the bed, the end of a chip dangling from her mouth, looking simultaneously disgruntled and amused.

"Where did you get that chip?"

"Floor?"

"You are the worst!" Yaz giggled, "now come back up here – promise I won't touch you!"

"Well that seems a bit much," the Doctor grinned, climbing back atop the mattress, "But no more tickling?!"

"Ok, ok, tickling amnesty!"

"Can we hug again though? That was nice."

"Yeah, course," Yaz smiled more easily, settling back against the headrest and pulling the Doctor into her arms.

"I like hugs with you, Yaz, but I don't think I like fighting."

"Me either, Doctor, I just –" how could she express all those conflicting feelings in a way that didn't make her sound completely mad? Mulling over various options, Yaz finally mumbled "I care about you, s'all."

She felt the Doctor squeeze her tightly.

"Ditto."

Breathing deeply, but with a smile on her face, Yaz felt that she needed to clarify something.

"I am here for you, y'know?"

"I know."

"And being here for you means I want to understand things," Yaz continued, the words tumbling out easily now. "I want to understand you. I'm a police officer and we solve cases by talking to people, learning as much as we can about a situation or person. I love a good mystery, but I see you looking so sad sometimes, all far-off and distant, and I want to help. Whatever that means, whatever you need me to be, I want to help. I meant it when I said that you're the best person I've ever met but I'm terrified of letting you down. So, I'm asking you trust me? Talk to me? Let me help?"

Yaz had felt the Doctor draw away from her slightly, and she kept her eyes fixed on a pile of books ahead of her, worried she had said too much. Feeling a sudden draft of cold air hit her side, she bit her lip to quell the panic rising inside. She had freaked the Doctor out, asked too much, and now she was the one being left.

Then she heard a creak and felt the bed dip as a warm, Doctor-shaped bundle nestled back into her side. A soft hand slipped into her own and she looked to see the blonde clasping a heavy leather tome and beaming up at her.

"Yasmin Khan," the Doctor's tone was warm sincerity, "You've never once let me down. But you're right, because you need to know me, need to know all of this," she patted the book, "and now I'm the one that's afraid. Terribly afraid that once you know, you won't want to stay."

"But Doctor, I-"

"I know," the timelord smiled, putting an end to the protest, "But hear me out first, and if you still want to stay, well that's fantastic. And if I haven't said it before, you're brilliant, Yaz."

Their eyes met, and Yaz nodded solemnly, accepting the terms.

"Right," the Doctor took a deep breath, opening the heavy front-cover and revealing the photos within, "where shall we start?"

She flicked over a page and Yaz saw a black-and-white shot of four smiling faces, two men and two women, standing next to a familiar door.

"Is that the TARDIS?"

"Yup," the Doctor smiled with happy remembrance, "back in her early days. Yaz, meet Ian, Barbara, and my granddaughter, Susan."

"I've quite a lot of questions," Yaz gazed, mouth open, "but the main one is – this guy? He seems weirdly familiar?"

"Ah," the Doctor ran a finger nostalgically over the image, "my first incarnation – that hair ate up a lot of combs in its time."

"That's… you?"

"Oh, Yaz, we are in for a long night," the Doctor grinned, settling down for the onslaught of questions.

"Wow, talk about a tour de TARDIS." Yaz breathed out deeply, rolling over onto her back and gazing up at the stars.

"I said it was complicated," the Doctor nudged her, also lying on her back, the leather-bound album back in its place on her bedside cabinet.

"Yeah I didn't know you meant five and a half hours of complicated!" Yaz tapped her wrist.

"Sorry, I should have said, very complicated," the Doctor said, batting Yaz's shoulder with her hand.

"So…"

"So?"

There was a still silence. For all the levity of their exchange, Yaz knew that there were still unanswered questions between them. She could feel a quiet tension radiating from the Doctor.

"Can I ask about Rose?"

"I think we've been through most of the important stuff?"

"No," Yaz twisted her hands around each other, "I meant the photo."

The Doctor was quiet.

"Because," Yaz stumbled on, "if you're still in love with her, or –"

"No, it's not that."

"I mean, if you were, that's –"

The timelord stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"Yaz, she's a reminder."

"Ok…"

The Doctor huffed a deep breath and continued.

"She's a reminder of what I've lost, of who I am, of who I could be."

"But you've lost so many companions," Yaz replied, then realised the callousness of the words, "Sorry, I didn't mean it to sound like that. I just meant –"

"Why her out of all of them?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"I suppose it's because I fell for her, well, old me did, and I mean really fell. River was me wife and I loved her, but we were rarely in the same place at the same time – mega complex. But with Rose…" she trailed off, memories of the blonde hair and the absurd bravery in the face of danger drifting briefly through her mind. "She was just this force of nature. I did things for her I'd never done before – risking time paradoxes, risking entire planets. It was mad…"

She trailed off again, and Yaz tried to ignore how the Doctor made her heart break a little more with each memory. She had asked about her past, what had she expected? That she was the first? That she was a special? There had been many before her: Tegans, Claras, and Sarah Jane Smiths. What was one more travelling 'companion' to add to the pile?

"But that's not what I mean." It was as though the Doctor could sense Yaz's sadness and sought to correct it.

"That photo – Rose – she's a reminder that I need to protect myself. They leave, they all leave, and I'm always alone again."

Tears silently trickling down her face, Yaz reached across and slid her hand into the Doctor's.

"You've got me."

She felt the hand grip hers so tightly it was almost painful.

"You'll stay?" The Doctor's voice cracked slightly with tension.

"Promise. I'm all in. You're still the best person I've ever met." Yaz ran her thumb across the back of the timelord's shaking hand, reaffirming and comforting.

"Yaz, you need to know one more thing," the Doctor said, rolling onto her side.

"Is it that I'm brilliant?" Yaz chided softly with a loud yawn, rolling over to face the Doctor, and drawing their joint hands closer, "because you've already mentioned that, and I'll get a big head if you carry on."

"I was just going to say that the photo," the Doctor paused, as though picking her words carefully, "I don't know that I'll always need it."

"Huh?" Yaz was too sleepy to focus on the words, "Want me to get a digital copy?"

"No," the Doctor laughed softly, "I meant that things are changing, I'm changing, and maybe soon I'll be ready to be… protected… by something else. Someone else."

"I'll protect you, Doc," Yaz mumbled, eyes half-open as she struggled to remain awake, warm and contented in the timelord's presence and bed.

"Mmm," the Doctor hummed, a smile stretching happily across her face.

And with the relief and joy bubbling up inside her, she leaned over and pressed her warm lips to Yaz's until -

ZZZNNNOAAGHHHH

Yaz let out a loud, vibrating snore and the Doctor laughed softly, settling down and letting sleep take her.

*** TO BE CONTINUED ***