W00t! Well all you other people have Beta readers; I have a MSN Instant Messenger reader! Aka Devann... I love her most greatly because she has helped give birth to chapter nine, the chapter you are about to read! If it weren't for her, there would be no current chapter nine. Or the chapter nine you would be about to read would be worthless crapola! So you must all praise Devann and praise her highly because she is fabulous in all terms and meanings of the word! She is my hero of the day! So now that that is done, on with the chapter nine that isn't crap that you are hopefully going to continue scrolling down to read...

Also there are flashbacks in here... The flashbacks will appear in the I text inserted here /I symbols because I don't know how to make things stay in italics... Note: I own nothing in this story... other than Krista and the Black Rider, which I will explain at the end of the chapter.

A Change of Fate

Shadows of the Past

Several months had passed since Severus' last visit. He didn't visit all that often, but Krista enjoyed his company, if only because he was another Slytherin and had been a friend of sorts back in Hogwarts. In fact, his last visit had been when the Dursley's came home to find Harry's sixth birthday present hissing viciously at them. Sometimes Krista wondered what that snake was saying that only Harry heard. She had noticed him losing bits of his innocence, but acquainted it with his growing up.

Well now Severus had come again. He had come to request a book from the old Black family library, which Krista had insisted they keep despite Sirius' attempts to throw it all away because of its high Dark Arts content. Professor Snape was looking for a certain potions book. Krista faintly remembered seeing it when she sorted the books into categories for easy access.

So Krista and Severus stood alone in the library that was almost entirely dedicated to the Dark Arts. Severus was standing beside the fire while Krista carefully sorted through the peeling titles on the dusty, fading spines for the correct book. She smiled slightly as she pulled the dusty tomb from the shelf and turned to Severus where he was standing. Krista was about to say something when he beat her to it.

"...The love which us doth bind, but fate so enviously debars, is the conjunction of the mind, and opposition of the stars." He was whispering as he gazed so deeply into the flames. Krista put the heavy volume on a side table and came up behind the man. "That is Andrew Marvell." She replied. The faintest impression of a smile graced Severus' features before he returned to his 'normal' sullen self. He turned to look at her, pain filling his dark black eyes.

"It lies not in our power to love or hate, for will in us is overruled by fate. When two are stripped, long ere the course begin, we wish that one should lose, the other win; and one especially do we affect of two gold ingots, like in each respect: The reason no man knows, let it suffice. What we behold is censured by our eyes. Where both deliberate, the love is slight: Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight? Christopher Marlowe..." Severus' pale fingers traced the invisible planes of Krista's cheek. "I loved you upon first sight. I hated you after when I found out you were a Lupin and then I grew to love you again and overcome your family name. I only could do that though after I learned why I hated your family name and that was because they were 'mugblood lovers', I believe the term is." Krista nodded.

"We are so alike, you and I Severus. Both of us fighting against what others have tried to make us. Both of us trying not to be overcome by what we are." "But thou, contracted to thine own bright eyes, feed'st thy light's flame with self-substantial fuel, making a famine where abundance lies, thyself thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel." Severus whispered, leaning closer to Krista. "William Shakespeare!" Krista gasped pulling away from the kiss he had been about to give her.

Snape looked into her eyes imploringly. " What is your substance, whereof are you made, that millions of strange shadows on you tend? Since every one hath, every one, one shade, and you, but one, can every shadow lend." "Shakespeare again..." Krista muttered rather breathlessly. "Why are you doing this?" Severus asked impatiently. "I love you! I love you most dearly and all you can think of is to name the writer of anything I say!" Severus quite suddenly snapped. He pulled Krista to him with so much force that he left bruises on her arms. His kissed her with all the pent-up rage, pain, frustration, and lust that he had harbored for her over the years.

Severus looked desperate as Krista pulled away. He did not let go of her arms though. "Inclose me still for fear I start; be to me rather sharp and tart, than let me want thy hand and art. Such sharpness shows the sweetest friend, such cuttings rather heal than rend, and such beginnings touch their end." "George Herbert could have been talking about a snake biting its own tail rather than love in that poem." She scowled.

Severus gladly returned her scowl with a look of devotion. "I can give not what men call love: but wilt thou accept not the worship the heart lifts above and the heavens reject not, the desire of the moth for the star, of the night for the morrow, the devotion to something afar from the sphere of our sorrow? I'll even save you from naming the poet. It was Percy Bysshe Shelley... Can you not see how I love you now?"

"...Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: "It might have been!" John Greenleaf Whittier" Krista confirmed. "Ask me no more: the moon may draw the sea; the cloud may stoop from heaven and take shape, with fold to fold, of mountain or of cape; but O too fond, when I have answer'd thee? Ask me no more. / Ask me no more: thy fate and mine are seal'd: I strove against the stream and all in vain: let the great river take me to the main: no more, dear love, for at a touch I yield; ask me no more!" Krista cried disconsolately.

"Alfred, Lord Tennyson... as is this one." whispered Severus. "I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all... but I would much rather love you and win your heart..." Krista looked near terror now.

"But yet in vain thou hast my ruin sought, in vain thou mad'st me to vain things aspire, in vain thou kindlest all thy smoky fire. For virtue hath this better lesson taught, within myself to seek my only hire, desiring nought but how to kill desire." "Sir Philip Sidney..." Severus whispered and he bent close and kisses Krista again. This time he kissed her with love and devotion instead of pain and lust. He let himself linger long over her lips as she was forcibly reminded of the past.

IKrista was lying in bed with the gentle silver moonlight frosting her face and shoulders. Remus had stole into the Slytherin dorms and was asleep next to her. He had been having nightmares again and had always insisted that Krista was the only one whom could drive them off. Even though Remus was an hour older than she was, he was the one always acting like the 'little sibling'. Krista always let him come into her room and snuggle against her, his back to her back or side, and sleep the night there.

Tonight however, as Remus slept beside her, Krista heard a soft knock on the door. Not wanting to get up and wake her twin, she casually waved her want, which was always in easy reach. The door swung open silently to admit a tall, thin, black hair youth with burning black eyes. He was very attractive despite the large hooked nose. His hair was silky and fine as it fell in delicate folds around his alabaster face. He was a striking contrast of black on white which clothing that matched his hair.

"What is it Severus?" "I saw the werewolf come in and wanted to know why he hadn't left for his own dorm yet." "Always the Perfect..." She whispered. "He isn't leaving tonight. He was having a nightmare and came to me for comfort. And please don't call him that in front of me Severus." The youth came to kneel beside her bed. "Does he come often?"

Krista shook her head. "No, only when he can't sleep." Severus watched her face for several long, painfully long, moments. "Perhaps next time I can't sleep, you'll allow me the same privilege?" Krista smiled and chastely kissed his forehead. "You may come here whenever you can't sleep, Severus."/I They had been in their fifth year.

IKrista was standing by one of the windows on the sixth floor overlooking the frozen lake and snow-covered grounds. She didn't hear Severus come softly padding up next to her. She didn't even know he was there until he put his arms around her shoulders and pressed close behind her to look out over her shoulder through the window.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" They were alone in the hall. He was only ever like this when they were alone. "Yes it is." She whispered. Severus turned his head just enough to kiss her, softly, lovingly, devotedly on the lips for the first time. /I They had been in their sixth year, and it had been Krista's first kiss.

I"I love you, Krista!" The statement had all the grace of an axe being clumsily thrown into a pile of Jell-O. Krista looked up at Severus. She was sitting at the breakfast table with a few friends when the dark youth made his announcement. She immediately stood up and pulled him away from everyone. "What was that all about?" She asked in fevered whispers.

"Drug nor isolation will cure this cancer: It is now or never, the hour of the knife, the break with the past, the major operation. -C. Day Lewis. I cannot hide my love from you any longer, Krista. I love you. I want to be with you forever." Severus kissed her with a need, a thirsty passion, which she had never known him to possess, must less show. /I It had been shortly after Halloween of the seventh year.

I "All which I took from thee I did but take, not for thy harms, but just that thou might'st seek it in my arms. All which thy child's mistake fancies as lost, I have stored for thee at home. Rise, clasp my hand, and come! -Francis Thompson..." Severus looked desperate as he whisper feverishly to Krista, holding close to his chest. She bit her lips. She knew he had become a Deatheater, but he didn't know that she was the Black Rider. She knew she couldn't marry him despite their shared love because then Voldemort would suspect something.

Krista pushed out of Severus', no Snape; he must be Snape, out of Snape's arms. "I can't marry you. It would just never work between us." "Why not?" Naturally Severus was deeply hurt. He had been so sure she would say yes to him. For once someone would love him and need him. "It is Black isn't it?" Anger and pure venom suddenly filled his eyes as Krista turned away from him. "I'll make him pay for this, if it is the last thing I do!"

Severus stormed off leaving Krista alone on the quickly emptying platform. She hugged herself tightly as she quoted Alexander Pope and let tears run gently down her cheeks. "Thus let me live, unseen, unknown; thus unlamented let me die, steal from the world, and not a stone tell where I lie."/I It was the end of their seventh year. They had both graduated Hogwarts and were about to start their new lives. However due to Krista being the Black Rider, they had to start it alone.

Krista pushed away from Severus. "We can't. Sev, I'm married to Sirius now. It isn't like when we were young." Severus sighed heavily. "At least tell me the truth! Tell me the real reason you said no to me on the platform that day..." He had been remembering the same events, the same shadows of their shared past.

"You'll obviously recall the Black Rider of Lord Voldemort?" Snape raised an eyebrow. "Yes... He was Voldemort's right hand. His most trusted messenger. If anyone saw the Black Rider or received instructions from him, they were directly from Voldemort and could not be questioned. Hence the Black Rider became synonymous with Death himself. Why?"

"Severus, I am the Black Rider. If I had married you, Voldemort would have become suspicious of me. You see I was spying on him for Dumbledore. As the Black Rider, I wasn't really a Deatheater, so I had no spells of obedience upon me. He felt he had my whole heart and most importantly soul. He started out having my heart, until you won it back for me, but he never truly had my soul. You and Remus saved me there."

"But... If you're the Black Rider, then how come you couldn't save James and Lily?" Severus stormed up from the couch. "Please Severus... No one but you and Dumbledore know. Not even Remus knows. I can't tell him or Sirius... I couldn't save James and Lily. No one knew about Peter, not even me. No one knew what Voldemort was doing that night. We all only found out afterwards, as did you and the rest of the world."

"No." Severus whispered. "I knew where he was going... I knew exactly what he was doing... He gloated over it with me for hours before he left, but I didn't have a chance to get to them in time. I couldn't even get to Albus in time. Maybe if I had just fought him then and there, they would be alive!" "Stop it, Sev! No one could have stopped him..."

Severus stood up. "I should leave now. I've stayed too long. Thank you for the book, Krista." She looked hurt at the apparent lack of emotion on his face. Back at Hogwarts that had been the surest sign that he was most certainly not alright with what was going on. But she also knew that she could do nothing about it... now at least... She use to be able to ease his pain and suffering, but no longer. She had given that up long ago on an emptying platform at the end of her seventh and final year at a school she had never seen again.

AN: Oh! I am so bloody proud of this chapter! If you still don't get the Black Rider bit, you can leave your questions IN A COMMENT... and I will reply in the beginning of the next chapter, as I always try to! Love all of you that review and I of course love my MSN reader, Devann. So that is chapter nine. Aren't you glad you stuck around to read it?