I apologise for the wrong date in the last chapter. This is set in 2020; unless specified.
Thanks for all alerts and reviews; they mean a lot. Enjoy this chapter.
New Year's Eve
31st December 2020
Santana was pacing the bedroom floor; still deciding what to wear to Jamie's party; James Conner; was Quinn's boss; he owned New York leader, where Quinn had worked for the last 5 years. Quinn walked up the stairs, half skimming over her recent article in the newspaper; she looked up and caught Santana muttering to herself.
Quinn smiled softly to herself; before leaning against the door frame, her eyes running over Santana's obvious scattered behaviour.
Quinn laughed lightly when Santana threw a skirt on the bed. Santana's eyes snapped to the door, where they instantly soften at Quinn's appearance.
"You okay?" Quinn asked, walking inside; she dropped the newspaper on bed
"No, I have nothing to wear." Santana muttered, half to herself; before walking back to her wardrobe
"You have plenty to wear." Quinn said, walking up behind Santana, she kissed her bare shoulder; "Besides... We don't even have to go." Quinn added
"I want to go. I've only ever been to one..." Santana said, huffing her cheeks out before turning around to face Quinn; "What are you gonna wear?" Santana asked, rubbing her finger against her eye
"Umm, I have that blue dress... I was gonna wear that." Quinn said, kissing Santana's cheek, before moving over to herself of the closet; and she pulled out the blue dress; she let Santana check it over; Santana smiled.
"You'll look beautiful." Santana said, meeting Quinn's eyes; "anyway, you said you wanted to get there early; right?"
"Yeah..." Quinn said
"I'm gonna take a shower; and then hope to find something... good." Santana said
Quinn nodded, and Santana smiled; and walked off towards the bathroom; Quinn released her breath when she heard the lock being snapped on; and the shower being turned on. Quinn walked off to the other bathroom; where she showered.
Quinn walked back to her bedroom, wrapped in a towel to change back into her dress; she was trying to zip up the back; but failed.
"Here, let me." Santana murmured; locking the zip between her thumb and forefinger; she pulled the zip upwards; and then stepped back.
"Thanks." Quinn said turning around; she smiled softly when she noticed the lightly hum of pink across Santana's cheek; "I picked you out a dress... It's white."
Santana smiled; she walked over towards the wardrobe; she took the hanger off, revealing the dress Quinn had picked.
"It's okay, right?" Quinn asked; as she turned round from the desk; the hairdryer resting on her lap; Santana nodded.
"It looks good... thank you." Santana said
Quinn smiled, and turned back to the mirror; she switched the hairdryer back on, dragging her brush through her honey locks. Santana slipped her dress on, and walked over towards Quinn, who noticed and zipped her dress up.
"You wanna dry your hair?" Quinn asked
"Yeah, please." Santana said
Quinn stood up; and let Santana sit down to dry her hair; she then curled her hair; she switched the curler off; before turning round towards Quinn.
"You ready to leave?" Santana asked, slipping her shoes on
"Yeah... I'm ready to leave." Quinn said, rubbing a layer of lip gloss on; she smiled as Santana grabbed her clutch and walked passed towards the door; they walked down the stairs. Quinn passed the car keys to Santana who opened the car; they climbed inside; and droved casually towards Quinn's office.
Santana parked up; and they stepped out. Santana locked the car; before walking round to Quinn who was waiting for her. Quinn smiled softly; when Santana took Quinn's hand.
"This is going to be fun." Santana murmured sarcastically; Quinn smiled with a lightly smile; she rubbed her thumb against Quinn's hand. They walked inside, and then towards the elevator.
"Hey Quinn." George said as he walked towards the elevator with his wife
"Hey George..." Quinn said politely; with a soft smile; "San, this is George, he's an editor."
"Hey, nice to meet you." Santana said
"You too." George replied; as they stepped inside the elevator; Quinn pressed the button to the roof; Santana rolled her eyes, as George began talking quietly to his wife. Quinn rubbed Santana's waist; gaining Santana's attention.
"I thought maybe we could book an appointment." Quinn suggested; "Just to see how far along you are... I could call Tina tomorrow."
"Chang-Chang?" Santana replied with a smirk; "Sure, Q... That's a good idea, actually."
Quinn moved her hand further up her waist; the doors binged, and then opened, George and his wife stepped out; before Quinn and Santana followed after them.
"Let's go say hi to Jamie." Quinn said, kissing Santana's cheek; Santana nodded agreeing. Quinn walked towards Jamie who was sipping a beer.
"Hey Quinn." Jamie said smiling cheekily; Quinn smiled towards him; "And Santana, thanks for coming."
"Thanks for the invite." Santana replied
Jamie smiled; and shook her hand politely.
"Please have a good time, kids." Jamie said, with a slight smirk; he nodded and walked off into the direction of a small group of guys.
Santana turned towards Quinn, so they were facing each other.
"I'm gonna get some juice, do you want some or water?" Quinn asked
"I'll have water." Santana said
Quinn nodded and walked towards the table. Santana was looking around, trying to quench the need to take her phone out and appear busy to avoid awkward introductions.
"Santana, right?" Charlie asked, as she walked closer to Santana
"Yeah... You're Quinn's assistant, right?" Santana asked; hoping not to be wrong; Charlie nodded
"Yeah..." Charlie said; "Here she is..."
Quinn smiled; and passed Santana a bottle of water.
"Hey Charlie." Quinn said with a soft smile
Santana unscrewed her bottle cap; and took a sip.
"Did you know that Mike might be up for an editor position?" Charlie said
"No, he deserved it though." Quinn said; "He's worked so hard... More so than Joe."
Charlie nodded
"I hate Max." Charlie said; as she watched Max stalk after Jamie; Quinn followed her gaze, and nodded.
"He's a jerk." Quinn replied
"I'm gonna go to the toilet." Santana said, placing her bottle on the side; she offered a smile before walking off. Santana finished in the toilets; she walked out; and debated whether to stay inside for a little while longer; just as she was going to walk out; she bumped into someone; "Shit..." Santana added in a mumble
"No, it was my fault. I wasn't looking."
Santana looked up and met what can only be described as a dashing smile.
"I'm Max... Max Crawford." Max said, as he held out his hand; Santana took it
"Santana." she replied
"Santana what?" Max asked, with a smirk; his hand still holding hers
"Lopez." Santana added, before taking her hand away
"Nice..." Max said; "So you having fun?"
Santana laughed
"Yes... I'm cold dead sober at one of the wildest nights of my life." Santana smirked
"Yeah... It's pretty terrible." Max added; "I should go... I actually needed the bathroom. See you out there."
Santana nodded, and walked outside; she found Quinn where they were previously; Charlie wasn't anywhere closeby.
"Hey." Santana said, snapping Quinn out of her haze
"Is it bad that we're been here for only 15 minutes and I want to leave already?" Quinn asked
"You wanted to come." Santana replied; picking up her water; she sipped some slowly; "We could have just stayed at home... or gone to Blaine's party."
"Then let's go... Let's go to Blaine's." Quinn said
Santana quirked her eyebrow up; Quinn grabbed her hand, and looked around, before rushing softly towards the elevator. Once the doors opened, they quickly got inside; and pressed the button to the ground floor.
Santana turned to Quinn, who was already looking at her. Santana stepped closer, Quinn quirked her eyebrow up. Santana smiled; and leaned closer, dipping her head in; Quinn reacted by leaning up; just before their lips met; the doors opened.
Santana sighed, and took Quinn's hand, they stepped out; and made their way to their car. As they were driving to Blaine's; Santana turned to look at Quinn.
"Do you wanna text Blaine?" Santana asked
"Tell him that we're actually coming." Quinn said; taking her phone out; she quickly typed a message to Blaine; who responded about a minute later; "He said it's cool... I think he's excited you're coming. He asked specially if Snixx looked hot."
Santana laughed loudly
"I love Blaine." Santana murmured, more to herself than anyone else; Quinn smiled; she leaned over, and took Santana's free hand, she watched Santana's expression as she laced their fingers together; Santana smiled softly; "We're nearly here..." Santana added, flicking her eyes softly towards Quinn; before turning round the corner, she parked up about 3 minutes away from Blaine and Kurt's house.
They walked up towards the house; Santana looked over at Quinn, who was swinging her arms limply; she immediately grabbed Quinn's hand; making Quinn look towards her.
"You're nervous." Santana said
Quinn nodded; she squeezed Santana's hand before looking ahead.
"I just haven't seen any of them... since before." Quinn explained; "They all know...-"
"And they don't care." Santana interrupted; "Seriously Q, Only Rach and Britt actually care. The rest of them don't... well, maybe Blaine and Kurt, and Tina... but no one else."
Santana walked round the back, into the garden; her hand let loose of Quinn's to push over the gate; Santana saw Blaine; and walked over.
"Hey Warbler." Santana called, Blaine grinned happily; and immediately wrapped his arms around her.
"Hey, San... It's great to see you." Blaine replied, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, before stepping back; "I'm glad you came... Although I'm surprised you came with Quinn...-"
"She's my wife, Blaine. There's nothing surprising about it." Santana answered, defensively
"She cheated, San... I guess the apple doesn't fall so far from the tree... I mean with her father-" Blaine stopped when he saw Quinn to the side of Santana, almost using Santana as a shield; Quinn didn't wait for an explanation before walking off; Santana went after her.
"Quinn, stop." Santana said, grabbing her wrist
"Give me a moment?" Quinn asked, the need clearly laced beneath those hazel eyes; Santana nodded, but leaned down, and pressed her lips ever so softly to Quinn's.
"You're nothing like your father." Santana murmured lovingly; Quinn stroked Santana's cheek before walking off; Santana watched her leave the garden, obviously to walk and calm down or to sit in the car. She would check both within 10 minutes if Quinn didn't return.
Santana then found Kurt and Brittany sitting on a patch of grass in the corner; Kurt was drunk, he kept mumbling to himself before going back to his nap; and had a pile of grass covering his lap from Brittany.
"I'm sorry about tonight. I know you aren't having fun." Brittany said
"Start the year, how you plan to end it... And I'm alone." Santana said, "My wife has been missing for almost 2 hours..."
Brittany pouted; before throwing another handful of grass on the pile.
"She's sensitive about her.. Family. You know that?" Brittany reminded her; Santana nodded; "Don't make it harder on her; Blaine's been our friend since high school, if he can say that to her... It's gotta hurt. Being compared to someone who you strongly dislike."
Santana nodded, looking from Brittany to the ground, she rubbed her fingers along the mud; watching as the mud coloured her fingers.
"I'm gonna leave... I'll see you, Britt.". said Santana, as she stood up, wiping the back of her dress.
"Bye San." Brittany said, hugging Santana tightly; Santana tugged on Brittany's ponytail affectionately; "Meanie..." Brittany called after her retreating figure; Santana smirked at Brittany's pout.
Santana walked to the car, seeing Quinn sitting in the driving seat; she sighed before walking round to the passenger seat, snapping Quinn out of her daydream as she climbed inside.
Santana pulled her seatbelt on slowly; before turning to Quinn.
"Are you okay?" Santana asked
"Yeah." Quinn replied, turning the engine on; she reversed out of their parking before making their journey home.
"You're not Russell, Quinn. You know this." Santana said, watching Quinn's expressions flicker across her face; Santana placed her hand on top of Quinn's knee, she rubbed her thumb across her skin.
"I'm sorry." Quinn murmured
Santana shook her head lightly, squeezing her knee as a silent message of forgiveness
"You don't have to apologise for anything, Q." Santana said; letting her thumb draw half hearted semi circles on the underside of Quinn's knee, earning a low giggle from Quinn as she hit her tickle spot; Santana laughed softly; and let her fingers join her thumb; Quinn pushed her hand away, only for Santana to let their fingers lace together, "I'm with you, okay? We promised forever." Santana added after a few seconds of looking at their perfect matched handhold.
"Thank you." Quinn whispered, Santana tapped her forefinger against her knuckle repeatedly.
"You never have to thank me for saying something that you would have said." Santana said
"Would I though?" Quinn spoke honestly; "I think you're the most forgiving person I've ever met..."
"No, I'm really not, Quinn. I just... I love you more than anything." Santana said, "And I know if I lost you; it'd be the end of me too."
Quinn shook her head, kissing Santana's knuckles softly.
You know that's not true." Quinn said, "You're a star, San... Burning so fucking bright."
Santana laughed
"You're such a dork." Santana said
"I know." Quinn said; turning the keys to switch the engine off; they climbed out and walked ahead; inside their home.
"Hey, do you just wanna go to bed?" Quinn asked; hanging up her jacket on the hanger; Santana nodded, and locked the door behind her. Santana then followed after Quinn who made her way upstairs towards their bedroom; "Can you unzip me?" Quinn asked, moving her hair, so Santana could grasp the zip; she pulled it down, and tugged the dress down Quinn's shoulders; Santana then stepped back, and walked towards the dressing table; she was taking her earrings off.
Quinn hung her dress on the chair, silently reminding herself to take it to the dry cleaners tomorrow. She pulled an old t-shirt on, and then tugged some shorts on, she then knelt on the floor, looking for some socks to wear.
"What are you looking for?" Santana asked, as she pulled a vest on; Quinn pulled them out.
"Found them." Quinn declared with a proud smile; Santana rolled her eyes, before walking towards the bathroom; "San, are you taking a shower?" Quinn asked as she pulled herself up, rubbing her sock covered toe into the floor
"Brushing my teeth." Santana called out, before lowering her head to spit out some toothpaste; Quinn walked in, and smiled before grabbing her toothbrush; they stood in silence, as they continued their routine before bed.
"I'll meet you in bed." Santana said, wiping her hand against her mouth; Quinn nodded, and Santana walked out of the room; Quinn pulled the toothbrush out of her mouth. Why did everything feel so wrong? Why did having Santana in her bed feel bad? Quinn pulled those types of thoughts out of her head before gently washing her face before wiping it with a towel.
Quinn walked out, closing the bathroom door; she saw her clutch and smile softly. She walked over, and took a folded piece of paper; she looked back at Santana. Seeing black tresses running down a caramel neck; she smiled to herself, reading 11:46pm on clock. She walked over, and pulled the covers back; and climbed in; shuddering slightly when her leg touched Santana's.
Santana rolled over, smiling softly at Quinn who was struggling to get a good position; once she finally did; she turned to Santana.
"I wrote... another letter. When I was in the car." Quinn explained as she passed the paper to Santana; who nodded; "I want you to read it before the New Year's." Quinn said rolling her eyes more to herself than anyone else.
"Should I read it now?" Santana asked
"I can leave if you want." Quinn said biting her lip, as she looked at Santana's expression; Santana shook her head, taking Quinn's hand.
"No... I want you here." Santana said; "Thank you for this." Santana added as she looked at the letter before looking back at Quinn; she pressed a kiss to Quinn's temple; before pulling back; "I'll... start."
Quinn nodded, and leaned back, watching in anticipation as Santana sat up; putting her glasses on. Santana unfolded the paper; smoothing it out, so she could read it.
Santana,
I thought about us. I always think about us. I have problems. So many fucking problems. That you should have to deal with. You don't have to deal with, not anymore. I will sort them out, my failure to be a mother to Beth, my failure to give up Beth completely, my fucking obsessive need to appease my parents; all of them, Santana. But I need her. I still need her.
I think about her constantly, she'll be 11 this year. I always sent her a card and a present; thanks to Shelby... I guess. I'll never be her mother; Beth will always be Shelby's daughter. A price to pay for my stupid choices. You always gave me the choice; to visit Beth... I love you for it; but I will only be more messed up if I see her.
My problems are mine. As selfish as that sounds. I don't want you to be a part of them. You will only complicate them further. It's part of your charm; to help. To help the ones you love. Your help only complicates me, because I worry. I worry constantly that you will find out that I'm not worth it.
That I'm too broken for you. That I'm not worth you. That I'm never going to be good. That you are just wasting your time with a wasted course.
I'm not Brittany, San. I'm not going to be good, to be everything you deserve. I actually wished you loved her still. It would make your life so easy. It would make us so easy.
I have a confession though, I do need Beth.
I know reading that; it will probably kill you. But please don't freak when you read that. I promise you, Santana. I will not be interfering in Beth's life. Not now, not ever. It's not fair not Beth, she doesn't deserve to be messed up just because her genes clearly indicate that she will end up, mentally fucked up.
I know you will accept that. You're perfect like that. I am not. I'm not even close, San. I'm far from perfect.
I still hate the tension which is between us. I hate that I have to watch your reaction when I want to hold your hand. I hate how we are acting practically like strangers... And I don't want it, like this. I want to be able to hug you, kiss you without panicking if you will tell me not to. Talk to me, Santana. Tell me to stop and I will.
I love you, Santana. I am writing this on New Year's; to make you a promise. I promise to make you the happiest you've ever been. I promise to be better for you; and our child. Ours is a love which is meant to be.
I will always love you, Santana Lopez.
Yours only,
Quinn Fabray-Lopez.
Santana placed the letter down, and looked over at Quinn who was looking pretty occupied with her nails; Santana took her glasses off, she sighed softly.
"I love you too." Santana murmured, before pressing her lips firmly to Quinn's.
Not wasting anytime; Quinn kissed back just as firmly; her thin lips pressing against Santana's full lips. Quinn let her hand slide to the middle of Santana's back, slowly spreading her fingers against the skin. Quinn felt Santana's hand curve around the back of her neck, pulling her unbelievably closer; Quinn hummed against Santana's lips.
Only for Santana for part her lips tentatively, testingly. Quinn waited for Santana. For Santana to deem this. After a few seconds, Santana's tongue peeked out, and ran against Quinn's bottom lip; Quinn reacted by opening her mouth to let Santana deepen the kiss.
Quinn smiled as she tasted Santana, felt Santana's fingers dip into the flesh of her neck. Quinn felt consumed by Santana. On a sensor overload, she pulled away immediately; licking her lips as her eyes flickered across Santana's face.
"Happy New Year." Santana murmured, looking over at the clock, which just hit 12:03am; Santana ran her eyes back over to Quinn; "I love you, Quinn..." Santana whispered, before pressing her lips back to Quinn's who smiled into their kiss. Murmuring sweet declarations of love to each other between sweet kisses.
You're the closer to heaven, that I'll ever be. And I don't wanna go home right now.
