Cal
I hadn't gotten much sleep since Rose and I had found out she was expecting a baby. A baby I had initially be excited about. That is until Rose told me about her time with HIM. The thought of MY Rose with someone else drove me mad. She had tried to hide it but I could tell there was a large part of her hoping this baby was Jack's. Something of his she could hold on to now that he was gone. This angered and hurt me. Although I sensed her sincerity when she said she also hoped the baby was mine. I was too angry at the time and didn't really listen when she said it. Too blinded by her admittance that she did hope the baby was HIS.
I was hurt even more when she hesitated after I told her I loved her and wanted to marry her. I thought I had built her trust and we had been developing a friendship. When she asked how I would feel if this baby turned out to be HIS and not mine I couldn't answer. I honestly didn't know how I would feel. We never got to finish the conversation because she had gotten sick. I needed space and time to think. I left for work before she came back from the bathroom. I worked longer hours and made sure I left before she woke in the morning. It was probably cowardly of me but I didn't care.
The more I avoided her the more restless her sleep became and the more she talked. I stayed awake at night listening to her. She said his name a lot but they were in phrases that made me wish I could be inside her head watching her dreams. She said things like "Jack please don't be sad." "Let me go, please." "Jack, I love him." "Goodbye, Jack" "Jack, can't you see how happy I am?" I wished she was telling him goodbye for me. That she was finally letting go of his memory and willing to let me to be the man she loved. But I couldn't allow myself to think it possible, my pride was too strong.
I had been watching Rose sleep so long now I recognized the signs of that her dreams were turning towards the worst. Reluctantly, I slid my arms around her and held her to me. Burying my nose in her hair. She woke crying quietly but it quickly turned into heartbreaking sobs. I tightened my arms around her. When she told me she thought we should be married as soon as possible I was surprised. After our initial conversation I figured she would never agree to it, not until at least she gave birth and we could see who the father was. Maybe not even then. I stared into her eyes searching for the truth, searching for why she was agreeing. She was trying hard to hide it from me but her sleep talking had clued me in to her emotional state and I could see the pain hiding. She was hurt because by marrying me she had to let go of HIM. I worked hard to hide my own hurt and anger. Not trusting my voice I simply nodded. Something else flashed in her eyes before she closed them and again I felt a surge of hope race through my body. I agreed to make the arrangements as soon as possible and we agreed her mother should be informed of the baby. I thought it best not to tell Ruth about the possibility that HE might be the father. Nobody but Rose and I needed to know that.
Rose became more closed off the closer we got to the wedding. I would watch from the house as she walked the gardens and then sit for hours staring unseeing into the distance. I had initially planned to take her on a short honeymoon trip to Santa Monica. But she was so distant, not that I was any better but the more she closed herself off the more I did the same and the thought of spending what should be a happy honeymoon with someone who barely talked or looked at me didn't appeal to me. So I told her I couldn't get away from work.
I assumed that it was the reality that she was being forced to marry me that was causing her attitude and anger clouded my every thought. The night before the wedding I laid beside her in bed and wondered if I should call it off. If this child turned out to not be mine I wasn't sure if I could treat it as my own. Could I love it and present it to the world with all the adoration I would if it were my own flesh and blood? I went back and forth all night not knowing what the right answer was. As usual Rose was restlessly chatting away in her sleep. She kept repeating a phrase I didn't understand.
"Cal, stay my Cal."
I could tell she wasn't asking me not to leave. It was something else but I didn't understand. I had resolved to call off the wedding as soon as I got up in the morning when Rose said something that kick started my heart.
"Cal, I love you."
I stared down at her sleeping face, it was relaxed and the corners of her lips were upturned, smiling in her sleep. I gently traced her jaw with my finger she instinctively moved towards my touch. I leaned towards her and softly kissed her lips. She sighed contentedly in her sleep. Nothing could make me cancel the wedding at that point.
The next day was a flurry of activity around the house as food and decorations were prepared. Ruth kept Rose locked away with an army of maids preparing her for our wedding. At noon I was standing in the garden beside the minister watching Rose, escorted by Ruth, walk towards me. She was so breathtakingly beautiful. I smiled at her and my heart filled when I saw her cheeks blush and she smiled back at me. The ceremony was over quickly and then we were pronounced Man and wife in front of our family and close friends. I kissed her chastely on the lips and then we led everyone into the house for an extravagant luncheon. After the lunch was finished the guests left slowly. Ruth was the last to leave, kissing her daughter on the cheek. Rose allowed her mother to hug her briefly and then finally she left us alone.
Rose and I stood in awkward silence. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to me. I kissed her forehead and wrapped my arms around her. She snuggled into my chest.
"That went rather well, I think."
Rose nodded. "You did a good job with everything."
"I am glad you liked it."
"Cal?"
"Hmm?"
"Can we change out of these clothes into something more comfy. My corset is so tight."
I laughed. I had been counting the minutes until I could get out of tux. "Lets go"
I led her up the stairs to what would now become our bedroom. During the ceremony and lunch I had the maids move her belongings into the new room. She stopped in the doorway letting go of my hand. I turned to look at her, she was looking around the room with curiosity. I watched her as she walked to each piece of art on the wall and then finally she walked to the bed running her hand over the dark blue blanket.
"Is this okay?"
"Its perfect." She smiled at me.
"The paintings?"
"You have better taste in art that I gave you credit for."
I laughed loudly and hugged her to me. I showed her to the wardrobe that now held her clothing and then went to my own to change out of the tux. I had managed to get my shirt off and hung up when I looked over and saw Rose struggling with the ties on her corset. I silently went to her.
"May I?" I asked pulling at one of the strings.
She nodded silently her eyes moving from mine down to my bare chest. I slowly loosened the corset helping her slide it off. I was about to turn and walk back to my wardrobe when her hand gently pulled my arm towards her. She was practically naked in front of me. Her hands went to my chest lightly caressing each rib. I watched her hands and felt the same electric shocks I had during our first night together. Rose looked up into my eyes. I grabbed her head in my hands and pulled her to me softly placing my lips on hers.
My hands skillfully released her long beautiful hair from the intricate up do she had worn for our wedding. She groaned in pleasure at the loosening of her hair. I smiled against her lips. My hands slipped between the thin sheer fabric that clung to her body. She jolted when my hand touched her bare skin. She sucked and nibbled at my bottom lip, willingly opening her mouth when my tongue flicked at her lips. Our tongues danced together as my hands explored her body. Her hands fumbled with the clasp of my pants. I moved my hands from her smooth skin and undid my pants sliding them off along with my underwear and stepped out of them. I removed what little clothing she had left. She started kissing down my jaw line and lightly sucking my neck just below my ear which sent an electric current through my body. I picked her up wrapping her legs around my waist and carried her to our bed. I sat down on the edge of the bed with her on my lap facing me. My hands massaging her back my mouth finding her hardened nipple. She started squirming delightfully when I sucked at her nipple. My hand caressed her other breast, teasingly pinching her other nipple. Her body was so beautiful and responsive to my touch. I could almost have just done this all day long. Kissing and teasing her to watch her body react.
I laid back on the bed taking her with me. She hungrily claimed my lips with her own. Our tongues once again dancing. Our kisses were becoming deeper, faster, erratic. I could feel the proof of my desire pressing against her stomach. I rolled us over so that I was looking down at her beautiful face. Her eyes filled with all the desire that I knew was mirrored in my own. I needed to know it was me she was here with.
"Rose, I love you."
She blushed. I kissed her lips roughly.
"Cal…"
Her arms wrapped around me pulling me to her. She wrapped her legs around me again and I slid myself deep into her. I groaned as I felt myself disappear inside her tight depths. Her fingers buried in my hair pulled my lips down to hers as our hips slowly thrust back and forth. My body responded to hers just as much as she did to mine. Her kisses sparked a fire inside me, her ragged breath excited me and her moans of passion nearly unhinged me. Her body spasmed around me and my thrusting become hurried as I felt every thing this woman made me feel building until I couldn't hold it back any more and it flowed out of me and her body greedily accepted it.
Much like our first time we laid with our limbs intertwined until our bodies recovered. Her fingers traced the line of my jaw lightly. Then down my throat and finally resting on my chest. She looked up into my eyes, I smiled at her.
"Cal, I love you."
My heart leaped. "I love you, I always have."
We stayed in bed most of the day alternating between making love and just holding each other. This was the best day of my existence.
