Chapter 9: They've Spun A Web For Me

note: Thanks for all the reviews!

note: Bella is singing the words to a song throughout her exchange with Edward. The song is "Trouble" from Coldplay. Youtube it!lol The lines I have her singing basically sum up what she feels regarding what Edward is doing to her. That Edward means well with all his talk of love, but that his seemingly careless declarations of love are unintentionally hurting her.

note: Some story details to keep in mind while reading this chapter since it's been a while since an update and this chapter is pivotal:

1) Edward has yet to explain to Bella what she saw at the club that one night when he was having his intense exchange with Nalani. That's never been cleared up, leaving Bella to draw up her own implications about Edward and women and distractions and fidelity.

2) Keep in mind this is only their third quality day together. So, all these things have happened very quickly between them.

3) Bella only sees Edward's life as it exists on paper. On paper, he seems to have it all--looks, smarts, med-school bound, admirers at every turn, a loving close family and friends. But Edward hasn't really explained the reality of his life as honestly as Bella has to him about her life. And part of that is Edward's shame about his mental abilities. He doesn't want her to know about that part, because he thinks it's abnormal and off putting. So his attempt to conceal a rather LARGE part of himself(reading minds,etc) in some ways conceals just WHY Bella means so much to him. Bella doesn't understand her importance in that respect. She does not understand his draw to her or her worth in his life.

4) B/E have not brought up certain issues to eachother, and that's a problem. But realistically, that's what people do in the beginning of relationships-especially a relationship of only three You try not to "pry" and you try not to overstep your boundaries. But that's led to a lot of misunderstandings for them.

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Edward

Her teeth were chattering only five minutes into our midnight ocean dip. But she showed no signs of retreating; with a determined stance, she kept her footing firm in the sand, letting the waves crash over her again and again.

"Let's get you out of the water, beautiful." She hissed in dissension with an eye roll. I assumed the hiss was for insisting she get out. The eye roll was for calling her beautiful.

"Hey, let the librarian girl have her one crazy night to recall fondly for decades to come. I'm going back to dust mites and the Dewey-Decimal System in less than four days."

I laughed--out of nervousness more than anything. She may be leaving in four days, but I was leaving even sooner. Maybe I could change my ticket and go back with her...

Her small body trembled as another wave lapped onto her.

"But you're shaking, Bella..." I wrapped my arms more tightly around her for maximum Bella coverage and rotated our stance about forty-five degrees. That way, my back caught the bulk of the wind coming our way.

"Then keep me warm, Edward." Her voice was just above a whisper, her eyes almost taunting. I couldn't contain the smile that fell upon my lips. It was too wide, too happy...like that of a schoolboy in love. I wanted to be more sophisticated--to whisper something back with a husky voice and a glint in my eye. That's how they did it in the movies. But my mind was always two steps behind with grand plans; instead, my arms picked her up like a rag doll as I twirled us around.

She was humming a melody into my ear softly now. She had a beautiful voice-the song she was singing was on the top of my tongue.

"They've spun a web for me..." She stopped for a second, and tapped my nose. "You've spun a web for me..."

Bella (a/n: Bella has random thoughts and song lyrics going through her head in this section--little epiphanies as she processes the situation at hand. Those unconscious streams of thoughts are set in italics):

It felt like a dream. Not the type of dream Edward was imagining for himself right now-his face betrayed his emotions so vividly. He stared down at me with such an unguarded joy, he looked like a young boy in that moment. I couldn't help but touch his cheek in response.

Beautiful.

He was beautiful and good and the way he looked at me made no sense. I wished I was trapped in whatever dream he was indulging inside his head. Was he imagining himself in love with me? Imagining us continuing this piece of Neverland back home?

I never meant to cause you trouble,

I never meant to do you wrong...

I had a different dream pursuing me. Edward had just told me he wanted to come home to "this," to "us," after Neverland. My heart leaped for a long moment--and then thudded to a wretched halt. Because I knew better.

Tears were threatening to fall within an instant. He looked up at me innocently, faithfully. His eyes were confident they'd find a similar hope in my eyes after his declaration of keeping "this" alive.

So I played along.

I smiled back, threw my dress off, and ran into the ocean. If I was going to tear my heart out, I might as well do it in style.

He was behind me in less than a second, clad only in boxers, kissing my neck, his arms encircling me. It was too much. It always felt like too much what he gave me--when we were together. How he looked at me, touched me, spoke my name. Being with Edward was like leaping off the big black rock at Waimea Beach--on a constant loop. It was a relentless mixture of fear and excitement. But most of all, anticipation--anticipating the moment of impact where being airborne ends in a thud.

Anticipating because when we weren't together, I knew he wasn't doing what I was doing. When he was away from me, I thought about him. Usually as I sat by myself, with nowhere to be and no one to meet. That is how it would be at home too. My life was quiet, full of silences and solitude. I had friends and family, but no one to call my own really.

Edward had many people and things to call his own--and many more who were willing to be called whatever he wanted to call them. I didn't have an Alice or an Emmett to tease me or pester me. I didn't have a brilliant future in medicine that would insist upon my attention for years to come. I was a non-committed English undergraduate who may or switch her major next semester. I was an only child who would be lucky if all her folklore research on mermaid legends resulted in getting published in some obscure journal that gathers dust in a library. Gathering dust in a library...sheesh...that basically summed up the last two years of my life.

"But you're shaking, Bella." Edward's voice shook me out of my thoughts. He held me tighter, looking down on me. I hated myself for not letting it go, for not just enjoying the moment I was having with a gorgeous boy on a gorgeous beach on a gorgeous night. But his gaze reminded me of the fact that we weren't together, he gazed at other girls like this too. I saw it with my own eyes just a couple nights back. Nalani. That was her name-the girl in the club. Emmett had mentioned that she had called for Edward while we were having dinner-which illicited a death glare from Jasper. Emmett shut up quickly while Edward completely ignored him.

Out of sight, out of mind?

That type of thinking didn't exactly work in my favor either.

Four hours is nothing, Bella, he said...I've already map googled Eugene to Seattle, he said...

Edward was still staring down at me, his beautiful skin giving off a subtle glow underneath the moonlight. He looked so unaware as I watched dark waves forming behind him, the white ridges peaking against the almost black sky. I couldn't help but laugh slightly at the contrast-the oblivious smile on his face, and the threat just right outside his field of vision. I started pulling him closer towards shore so the waves didn't crash too high on us. I even turned him around to face the ocean instead--maybe he'd see the danger coming our way finally.

Anticipating the moment of impact where being airborne ends in a thud...he doesn't even see the thud coming, does he? Careless boy...

"Then keep me warm, Edward." It came out of my mouth without a thought. So did the challenge I relayed to him in my stare. Maybe he was off in lala land dreaming about unicorns and rainbows, but I had my feet firmly planted in reality. I could see the situation before us. I knew this wasn't going to last.

But I also knew something else: this beautiful, fustrating boy and me were sharing a moment together. A moment I would dust off for years to come: of a boy on a beach who held me and spoke my name with an adoration that was truly rare. And I still had memories to add to this moment. I'd take the leap and deal with the consequences later.

Edward twirled me around, laughing as he did it. He winked at me as his twirling slowed down. A song refrain kept popping into my head as he smiled innocently at me.

if I ever caused you trouble,

Oh, no I never meant to do you harm.

I knew he didn't mean me harm. I began to hum the song before singing out just one line to him. A line I wanted him to hear:

"You've spun a web for me..."

With every glance, every smile, every whisper, he was spinning me tighter into him. It was almost too much to handle if I thought about it. So, I didn't. Not now anyways.

He cocked his head to the side after I sang that line; but before he could ask me to elaborate, I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and repeated myself.

"Keep me warm."

Edward froze, scrutinizing my expression. He wanted a confirmation of my meaning. I raised my eyebrow with a suggestive smile. At least suggestive was what I was going for--I didn't have enough experience to know for sure if I had pegged it.

He bent over and kissed my lips gently, then made a trail downward towards my neck.

"Bella?"

That's all he asked. He said my name with a question mark. But it was enough. I nodded silently, and then twisted my head downward-- I kissed the palm of his hand softly.

"Honey..." Edward's voice was low now, wanting. My hands scratched their nails lightly against his chest. His body shuddered, and I couldn't help but smile. I loved that response he had to my touch. He stood there still for a moment, his arms falling limp to his side as he watched me. He was still looking for a confirmation that I had already given.

Would I need to get the ball rolling?

I laid a stream of soft, wet kisses right down the middle of his torso, starting from his collar bone. As they trickled downward, my hands rubbed upward, kneading his skin lightly.

"Hmm...?" I murmured in delayed response against his skin as I continued my descent.

"Hmmm?" He mumbled back. I couldn't keep the smile off my face-his responses to me were making feel bolder by the moment. While my hands dropped to his hips, I flicked out my tongue as I reached his belly button. Edward reacted swiftly-his hips jutted out as his arms clamped onto my shoulders.

"Shit, Bella," he muttered out with an embarrassed laugh. He lifted me up by my thighs, instructing them to part at his waist with his manuevering hands. Edward stared at me for a long moment; looking into my eyes first, and then letting his gaze fall down over my body. I loved how he looked at me-it made me feel beautiful for once. As his mouth explored my neck and collarbone, an urgency soon began to well between us. Was he finally feeling that pit in his stomach that I was experiencing-of something coming to an end, instead of something just beginng?

"Bella?" Edward's voice was thick with concern. I had just let out a huge shudder myself. He thought it was my body's reaction to the cold water. But it was a shudder of expectation--of going places I hadn't been before. My bra strap had fallen down my arm, and my bra cup was falling lower with each chin nudge Edward gave it as he kissed my shoulder. I silently waved off his concern and placed his lips back on my shoulder.

I could do this, I kept telling myself. I wanted this. Didn't I?

When the bra cup finally fell all the way down, we both let out small gasps. I felt so exposed in that moment, self conscious. I forgot about my boldness plan, and my hand quickly shot up to cover my nipple. Edward stopped my hand mid-motion. He shook his head.

"You are so beautiful Bella," he whispered. My heart ached as he kept his gaze strictly on my eyes while slowly setting my shielding hand down.

He finally looked down at my exposed breast and shook his head. "Beautiful..."

Edward dipped his head, letting his full lips drag along my nipple gently, back and forth. I held him tighter, arching my back slightly. He was almost tenative as his mouth took in my breast. Did he know how new this was for me, and that's why he was being so careful? Wifth the smallest of gestures, he could convey how intuned he was with me.

Was there something more here? Something that could last?

I forgot I was half naked in cool water as I closed my eyes and concentrated on his mouth and what it was doing to me. He was gently exploring me now, moving back and forth between my breasts. As his tongue wandered onto the tip my nipple, the reaction was immediate. My hips began to move in time with his pulsating mouth. Despite the cold water, Edward's arousal perservered as I continued a deep, rhythmic grind against him.

"Bella..."His voice was just above a gravelly whisper.

I could do this. Quite easily...

At least I could--for a minute. Because just as I was about to smugly grind into Edward even harder, with nothing but a thin piece of cotton boxer to shield him from my libido...I noticed two things in my field of vision. I saw the club we just came out of, lighted up against the dark sky.

I wondered if he took Nalani out to the ocean for a little walk and dip too the night I saw him gazing into her eyes...

That jerked my movement to a quick halt.

And then I saw her.

She looked so small, standing on a tiny sand mound. Her arms were at her sides; she was so still, she could have been mistaken for a statue. Her translucent skin helped to light up her face with the glow of the moon high above us.

Alice was staring in our direction. Or maybe just beyond us - since her face looked blank. With the exception of tears trickling down her face, her expression showed no emotion.

Edward suddenly froze himself. He straightened up his posture and came face to face with me. It struck me in that moment, as I was able to see both their faces at the same time, how similar they appeared. Maybe not in terms of coloring or even features; but both of them wore an identical expression that made them look like twins. Stoic and almost too still--those were expressions that should be exclusive to weary, old men who had lived long and hard.

Edward's eyebrows furrowed for a second, before his head jerked to the side as if someone had hit him.

"Edward?" He was starting to scare me. "You okay?"

I jumped down off him and rearranged my clothing to look halfway decent. Alice didn't pay me any mind though.

With his back still facing Alice, Edward shouted out, "We'll be in in a minute, Ali." His voice was rough, cold. Alice sat down where she was, wrapping her arms around her bent legs and resting her head on top of her knees.

I took Edward's hand, suddenly concerned less about my fragile heart and more about Edward's change in demeanor. He looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"What's wrong, Edward? How did you know Alice was here?" He had yet to turn around to see her. He shrugged his shoulders.

"It's a twin thing."

Edward picked me up and walked us back to shore. Before he let me go completely, he pulled me into his arms, and kissed me once more. This kiss frightened me. There was too much tension, too strong an edge to the way his lips crushed mine--like he was afraid we only had so much time left to us.

And for some odd reason, that possibility--that he was thinking as I was now--hurt me more than he'd ever know.

Edward:

All three of us walked back to the hotel in silence by way of the beach. But Alice and I were having some shared moments. I had always been able to anticipate her thoughts and ideas. When I could literally feel Alice arrive on the beach, her emotions insisting on making their presence known to me, I knew something was wrong. Very wrong. My first instinct was to grip onto Bella for life. My instinct wasn't too far off.

As I concentrated like I never had before to "see" what Alice was emoting, thinking, I could only see flashes of images and feelings. It was as if I had a bad reception - images and thoughts were fusing together, jerky, blurry - incomplete. Were these images how she saw them, or was it my unsuccessful attempt to read her mind's eye properly.

None of that mattered, however, in that moment. Because among the scattered and confusing images, there was one constant.

Bella.

Bella was in the eye of Alice's visionary storm; a storm so violent, so final, it threatened to swallow her up before my very eyes.