When Meredith came to, she was no longer in the ER. The world seemed eerily calm. Derek had pulled a chair up to her bed and was now sleeping, his head resting on the mattress beside her arm. For a second, Meredith forgot everything. She forgot all the death. She was caught in that moment between sleep and wakefulness when the day is still brand new and yesterday is only a distant memory. She forgot everything for a second. But only for a second.

As all the memories washed over her, her body shook with uncontrollable tears. Derek immediately woke up, taking her hand in his and squeezing it gently. She turned towards him. His face was blurry through her tears, but she could see that it was pale, his eyes glassy.

"Meredith…" he said softly. His heart was aching painfully within his chest. She looked so broken.

"Derek," she said through her tears. "Derek…please." Her voice was pleading. Tears filled his eyes. He got up from his chair and climbed onto the bed. She melted against him as he wrapped her up in his arms. She shook slightly in his arms, her body exhausted, her heart broken. He kissed her hair and breathed in the lavender like he always did. The familiar act calmed Meredith slightly and she pressed her face into his chest, her tears subsiding.

"You have to take it Meredith," Derek said into her hair. "I won't let you die."

She looked up at him. "But," she said her voice hoarse. "What if I didn't catch it?" The raw hope in her voice broke his heart.

"Yeah," he said helplessly. "Maybe." She heard the doubt in his voice and her heart sank. Derek didn't know what else to say. "There's only a ninety percent chance of something…happening," he said vaguely. Meredith nodded slightly.

"Just hold me," she said, leaning her head on his chest again and closing her eyes. He tightened his grasp around her and swallowed hard.

"Okay."

xxx

They were both woken up when Dr. Webber walked into the room. Under any other circumstances, Derek would have been deeply embarrassed if the chief had walked into the room while Meredith was curled up in his arms. But not then. Not on that day. He couldn't leave her.

Meredith was glad Derek didn't leave her. She felt like the only thing keeping her breathing was his arms wrapped around her. She didn't look at the chief. She only tucked her head under Derek's chin and breathed in deeply.

"Chief," Derek said.

The chief nodded at Derek, his face solemn. "I have your blood work," he said. Derek felt a sinking feeling deep within him. "You, um," the chief paused, he could barely bring himself to say it. "You, um, caught the virus."

Derek looked down at Meredith, tucked against him. Her eyes were glassy and pained. He pulled her tighter against him and she closed her eyes.

The chief looked at the couple sadly. "I'll bring the vaccine," he said, because what else could he say?

As the chief left Derek leaned in and kissed Meredith on the forehead, because that's what he did. That's what he did to comfort her. But, really, how could he comfort her now? How could he tell her it would be alright when it clearly wouldn't be? She might lose her baby. This baby that had been growing inside her for a month. This baby that she talked to. This baby that she had already fallen in love with. This baby that he had already fallen in love with. How could he comfort her when he knew she felt as if she was killing this baby? "I love you," he said, because it was all he could say. "I love you so much."

xxx

Just before Dr. Webber returned with the vaccine, Christina walked into the room. Meredith looked up at her friend, her person, standing in the doorway.

"Hi," Christina said.

"Hi," Meredith said, still curled against Derek. He only looked at Christina sadly. Just then, the chief walked in with the vaccine. Derek released her and got off the bed. She felt cold in the places where his touch once was. He sat in the chair beside her bed and took her hand.

Christina walked across the room and stood on the other side of Meredith. The chief then walked over. Slowly, he rubbed an alcohol pad over a small spot on her arm. Slowly, he prepared the shot. He paused. "You ready?" Meredith nodded slightly and then looked away as he administered the vaccine. Derek squeezed her hand.

"When will I know?" Meredith asked softly. "When will I know if it's…gone…"

The chief shook his head. "Not until tomorrow."

"Oh." Her hand subconsciously traveled to her stomach. "Okay."

The chief nodded slightly and then left. Christina turned to Meredith. She wanted to do something. "Do you want anything?" she asked. "Is there anything you need?"

Meredith looked up at her friend. She smiled faintly, feeling emptier than ever. "No," she said. "I'm fine."

Christina nodded. "I'll be back tomorrow, okay?"

"That's good," Meredith said. Christina walked out the door. Bu as soon as she left, Meredith began to cry. Derek couldn't stand to see her cry. He got up and climbed onto the bed next to her again, pulling her into him.

"Shhh," he said, stroking her hair. "It'll be okay."

Meredith pressed her face into his chest. "How?" she said into his shirt. But Derek didn't answer. He didn't know.

xxx

Meredith woke up at dawn. Soft, pale light streamed through the windows of her room as the sun lit the sky from the bottom. In the night, Meredith had turned in Derek's arms so that her back was pressed to his chest. Derek's arm was draped over her stomach protectively. A pang of sadness rose in Meredith's chest.

Feeling her stir, Derek woke up as well. He leaned into her and whispered softly into her ear, "Morning."

Meredith turned in his arms. "Morning," she said softly. He leaned down and kissed her gently.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

She looked up at him, her eyes watery. "Sad," she said.

"Oh, Mer…" he said.

"I hate this," she said brokenly. "I hate that I had to choose. I had to…I had to…kill my baby, to save myself? It just…it doesn't seem fair." She shook her head. "It isn't fair, Derek."

"I know," he said. "It isn't." He kissed her on the forehead. "But it's not definite yet," he said softly.

She looked up at him. "Right," she said, but she didn't dare to hope. "Right. That's true."

They looked up at the sound of footsteps. Addison walked into the room. Derek kissed Meredith softly and then got off the bed, allowing Addison more room. She walked over to the bed and smiled slightly down at Meredith. "Ready?" she asked.

To find out if my baby's dead? Meredith thought bitterly. Sure! But instead she said, "Yes."

Addison squirted the jelly onto Meredith stomach and moved the wand across it. Meredith didn't look up at the screen. She didn't look at Derek. She just closed her eyes and waited. And then, she heard it. A heartbeat. Her baby's heartbeat. Suddenly, it filled her ears and Addison was smiling down at her and Derek was kissing her and she felt whole again.

Addison wiped the jelly off of Meredith's stomach and grabbed her hand. Meredith looked up at her, her eyes twinkling. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," Meredith said, before Addison left, leaving her alone with Derek. She smiled up at him and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, standing up. Derek enveloped her in a hug, but soon pulled away so that he could kiss her. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he slid his around her waist, pulling her against him. After a while, he pulled back slightly and placed his hands on her stomach. She put her hands on top of his and grinned up at him. "I love you," she said.

"I love you too," he said. She lifted her hand and traced his jaw line softly, feeling the stubble beneath her fingertips.

"You do don't you?" she said suddenly.

He looked at her carefully. "I really, really do."

She smiled again and he moved his hands around her waist, gently pulling her into his body. "I really, really do."

xxx

Christina appeared in the doorway to Meredith's room and almost laughed out loud as the relief flooded through her. There were Derek and Meredith kissing furiously. They wouldn't be doing that if they had lost the baby, she thought, amused.

She cleared her throat loudly and Meredith and Derek jumped apart, but when Meredith saw it was only Christina, she stepped back into Derek arms and laid her head on his chest. Christina smiled. "So, everything turned out okay I guess?"

"Yup," Meredith said, beaming. "It sure did." Derek smiled down at her and kissed the top of her head.

Christina stepped further into the room. "I'm really, you know, happy for you guys," she said. It almost sounded as if she was being guilted into saying it, but Meredith knew that she meant it.

"Thanks Christina," she said. Christina backed out of the room with a slight wave goodbye.

"Now where were we," Derek said softly, seductively, capturing Meredith's lips again. She smiled against his mouth and suddenly everything felt right in the world again.