Hey hey! Lol, I think I'm boring people, Paige gave me my last 2 reviews...heh...anyway...things are about to get more exciting...er...forget I said anything...read the fic...now....and review...please? ::holds out candy:: Issa give you candy...















*One Week Later*













"Easy now" Jeff steadied Paige with his hand, the doctors had allowed her to go home, but she was still weak, she would only eat enough to keep her alive, and did as little talking as possible, her blue eyes still dim and lifeless, Jeff led her slowly into the living room, "Sit" he said, Paige sat on the couch, exhausted from her walk from the car, Matt and Amy followed, Mercy held tightly to Amy's hand, once inside the door, Mercy followed Matt and Jeff into the kitchen, Amy sat down on the couch beside Paige, then noticed that Paige wasn't talking and did nothing but stare in front of her, not even at the TV, "What's wrong?" Amy asked, scooting closer to Paige, "Tired" Paige replied simply, one word answers had become a normal thing with her in the past week, "Hold on a second" Amy said, getting up and walking into the kitchen, after she left, Paige began to look around the room that she had looked at her whole life, memories from her childhood flooded back to her and a wave of emotions crashed into her head like a brick, she began to sob quietly, it seemed like anything upset her these days, Paige quickly stopped when she heard the swinging doors of the kitchen clap together, and Amy emerged from the hallway, a steaming mug in her hand, "Here" she said, handing Paige the mug, "Careful, it's hot", Paige sniffed she steamy liquid, it was quite fragrant, "It'll help you sleep" Amy said, answering Paige's questioning gaze, Paige sighed and played her finger in the tea, not minding the burning sensation the shot through her finger and hand, Amy clicked on the TV, Paige never even looked up, Jeff bounced in a few minutes later, "Matt put Mercy to bed" he chirped before sitting down and putting his arm around Paige, she suddenly became rigid and uncomfortable, and stayed that way the rest of the night, at about 10, Paige got up and without a word she began making her way up the stairs, "Where ya goin?" Jeff called, "Bed" she sighed, Jeff followed her up the stairs, once Paige lay on the bed, Jeff pulled the covers up to her chin, "Night babe, love you" he smiled, then leaned down and kissed her, but Paige made no effort to kiss back, Jeff pulled back with a hurt look on his face, "Night" he repeated before turning off the lights and walking down the stairs, Paige lay in bed and just stared at the ceiling in the dark, tears began to flow again as she remembered that tomorrow they would bury Shane, and the feeling of the lowest guilt and hurt possible overtook her, and she rolled over to allow the tears to drain out of her eyes, and soon, she had cried herself to sleep..

*For the past month Paige had seemed to get further and further away from reality, and Jeff, not even the smile of her young daughter could pull her from the deep depression she was slipping into, she would only eat enough to keep her alive, and wouldn't venture from her dark bedroom unless absolutely necessary, something had to be done, and quick*

The morning came to Paige as she lay in her bed, facing the ceiling in the gloomy light, crying, her eyes were swollen and stung from all the tears she had cried since the night she lost her baby, with blurry vision she glanced to the rain-streaked window, it had been raining for almost a week now, almost as if God knew her feelings, Paige's mind wandered back to the day before, she had gone to see little Shane even in the rain..

*Flashback*

Paige sat beside Jeff in the black car, watching the raindrops roll down the window as they approached the cemetery, the car stopped and Jeff stepped out to open Paige's door, but the woman that stepped out was not Paige, but instead was a ghastly white form, her once dyed hair was dim and hung limp and lifeless framing her face as the rain began to soak it, her once spirited blue eyes possessed no life whatsoever and were now red and filled to the brim with tears, in her hands she clutched a single white rose, not caring that the thorns had already pricked her hands and now had small droplets of blood rising to the surface, as Jeff guided her though the maze of headstones, Paige kept her eyes on her feet, which were making soft plopping noises on the wet ground, Jeff finally stopped at a small granite headstone that had plain engraved writing on it,

Jonathan Shane Hardy

Conceived the 24th of August

Died the 19th of November

Paige began to sob as she crumpled to her knees, laying the rose on the stone then sitting on the wet ground to trace the words Jonathan Shane Hardy over and over again with her fingers, after a few minutes, Jeff reached his hand down and helped her up, she immediately buried herself into his arms and whispered a question, "Why Jeff?" she sobbed, Jeff brushed the hair away from her ear and kissed it, "I don't know baby, I don't know" he sighed as tears flooded his eyes too, then he looked up into the pale gray sky and mouthed "Why God?" before turning his head back to the sobbing form in his arms

*End Flashback*

Paige silently cried into her pillow, *It's all my fault I don't deserve to live* Paige cried over and over again in her head, "WHY GOD?!" she screamed at the ceiling, "WHY ME?!" she began to sob through her screams, "WHY JEFF?!" she screamed, throwing her pillow full force across the room and knocking pictures and other things off of the dresser, she slowly crumpled to the floor, still muttering, "Why?", she worked to steady her breathing before she stood up again, with one last sniff she looked around the room, *Jeff's gone to the store* she sniffed before opening her door and creeping down the stairs, the walked down the main hall, past the kitchen, and took a sharp turn into the study, there, in the corner, was what she was looking for, the black filing cabinet, her heart skipped a beat as she made her way over to it, and took a deep breath before grabbing the handle to the top drawer and pulling it firmly, the cabinet rocked forward with the jolt, but the drawer didn't budge, *Shit* Paige cursed the lock, she had no idea where Jeff hid the key, so she searched around for something to pry it open, she pulled the drawer on the desk open, and quickly searched through the rummage that cluttered it before suddenly finding something that would work, she pulled out the long black flashlight and hit her hand with it to check it's strength, it would do nicely, Paige took the butt of the flashlight and hit the lock firmly, it bent a little, Paige drew her arm back and hit the lock with all of her strength, the lock shattered to pieces on contact, and the top drawer opened with ease this time, Paige reached in and felt around, her hand finally touched the cold steel, she pulled it out with a deep breath and carried it back up the stairs to her room, she sat down at her desk, laying the gun beside her she took a piece of notebook paper and a pen, holding back the sobs that threatened to escape her throat she steadied her hand with a deep, yet shaky breath and put the pen to the paper,

My Dearest Jeff,

First off, I am so sorry I had to do this, but it is the only way, I have caused you so much pain as it is, I know how much you wanted that baby Jeff, and I lost it, you told me not to go out there, but the fact is, Jeff, that I did, I made that choice and now I will never forgive myself for it. As much as you may try to tell me it isn't, it IS my fault Jeff. All of the pain you've been though, it was my fault, please remember that this is my choice, and nothing you could've done could have stopped me, I still love you and will always love you, Jeff, you will always be my best friend, tell Mercy I love her, and tell her I'll always be with her, wait until she's older to tell her the real truth, Matt and Amy, tell Matt he's like a brother to me, and Amy's like my sister, I wish them only the best, and Jeff, don't cry for me, go on with your life, don't let this hold you back, just always remember that I love you no matter what, so, goodbye my love, my Jeff, I will always be with you

Love Always,

Paige

Paige choked on the tears that were falling freely and onto the paper now as she sighed the letter, the whir of a car motor pulling into the driveway sent her into a panic, she looked outside, it was Jeff, she coughed up a few sobs before she picked up the gun, her body now heaving with tears, she heard the door open and Jeff's cheery voice call to her, it was now or never..

*Downstairs-Jeff's POV*

I walked in the door, almost half expecting Paige to be sitting on the couch chatting on the phone with Amy about her match on Raw, but that wasn't meant to be, I carried the groceries into the kitchen before I set out to look for her, "Paige?" I called, peeking into the study, my breath caught in my throat as I noticed the busted remains of the lock laying on the floor and the drawer hanging wide open, everything seemed to move in slow motion as I walked over to the filing cabinet, my heart beating heavily, confirming my worst fears when I looked inside and found that the gun was gone. A wave of fear swept over me, "PAIGE?!" I screamed, running from the room and dashing to the stairs, she couldn't, she wouldn't do it..

*Upstairs*

Paige took one last deep breath to steady her hand, another sob escaped her throat as she heard Jeff call to her and heard the pounding footsteps coming up the stairs, tears streamed down her face as she lifted the cold muzzle to her right temple, Jeff appeared in the doorway, Paige mouthed "I love you", Jeff made one last final dive, just as Paige pulled the trigger..







mmkay, longer chapter, huh? So, she survived the baby thing, only to kill herself...or maybe...nah...she's dead...give me 5 reviews...and I will give you the rest of this heart wrenching tale..