Ch. 9 – Let the Tour begin
Resting her forehead against the cool glass, Bella stared out the bus window. It was too early to be up, the sun hadn't even risen. Glancing down at her watch she realized she still had three hours until class. It was never too late to change her mind. She could still get off the bus, catch a cab and go.
Biting back a sigh, Bella slouched into her seat and closed her eyes. Who was she kidding? It was too late, they had been on the road for over an hour already. Besides, Edward would never let her change her mind now.
After parting with Tanya, Bella had gone over to Edward's place and talked with her boyfriend. She was too exhausted at the time to deal with everything and looking back now, she wished she had at least waited until the next morning. Then she wouldn't be on the tour bus with the two bands. Opening her eyes, Bella rested her temple against the window and allowed her mind to go over the conversation once again as she stared into the faded light.
Pulling up to the large white house, Bella had locked her car before going inside. As she was cresting the last step, the front door had been thrown open to reveal a smiling Edward. On any other circumstance, Bella would have felt butterflies in her stomach about to spew out of her mouth as she returned his charming greeting. Tonight, however, she only felt dread as she looked upon those lips, those same lips that had been upon another person's besides her own.
"Bella, dear, come inside before you get cold," Edward said as he stepped back to hold the door open. Mentally, Bella noted the change of his behavior. He hadn't opened the door for her like that since they had first started dating. Perhaps her disgruntled appearance mixed with being in the same clothes from the night before warned the boy off from trying his usual greeting of kissing her.
Instead of returning the smile, the brunette offered a quiet "thank you," as she slipped past. She didn't initiate any contact and quickened her step past the taller man to discourage him from assuming that any from his part was okay as well. Waiting in the forayer for Edward to close the door, Bella then followed her boyfriend through the house. Instead of going to the living room like she had expected, they headed up the stairs to his room.
Her pause at the stairwell must have alerted the man, for Edward turned around and with a crooked smile explained that everyone was sleeping, that they could talk quietly in his room without disturbing anyone. Seeing the logic in his explanation, Bella followed Edward up the stairs, but instead of sitting on his bed like she normally would, she opted to remain standing. Similarly, she remained silent, her keys slipping through her anxious fingers as waited for Edward to start talking.
"Bella," Edward started as the silence stretched on. "Why don't you come have a seat, dear?"
"I'm okay, Edward. Thank you. I just want to sort things out so I can go home and get some sleep."
"You're not staying here?" Edward asked, a frown gracing his handsome features.
"I don't think that's a good idea, Edward."
"Why not, Bella? I already promised to behave and that you could have the bed to yourself."
"I don't think you want me here, not for the right reasons."
His frown deepening, Edward took a step closer to the smaller girl. However, when she took a step back in return, he halted his movements and simply held his hands, palms out, to his sides. "Bella, how could you think such a thing? I love you, dear."
It was those last four words that did her in. She was never good with emotional situations and this one ate at her insecure side on top of everything. "Then why did you do it, Edward!? Tell me why. Please?" Bella whispered the last bit, her voice cracking after nearly shouting the accusation.
"Do what, Bella?"
"Why did you kiss that girl last night, Edward!?" Bella choked out. "Am I not good enough for you?"
Moving forward to wrap the teary eyed girl in a hug, Edward stopped once again as Bella shrugged off his arms. Stepping back, he sighed as he glanced around the room as if for a distraction. Feeling chocolate eyes staring at him, Edward sighed again. "I was drunk, Bella," Edward explained. Rubbing the back of his head with one hand, ruffling his already unruly locks, Edward slipped his other hand slipped into the pocket of his jeans.
"So you think it is okay to go around kissing people because you had a drink?" Bella asked, shifting her stance to cross her arms over her chest as she stared at the man in front of her.
"No, Bella, I don't," Edward conceded. Removing his hand from his pocket, he stepped forward again, this time catching hold of Bella's biceps in warm, firm hands. "There is never a good reason to go kissing someone who isn't you," Edward continued, his green hues trying to hold chocolate ones. "I had a moment of weakness, that's all. I was lonely and you kept acting like you hated me. I was just sad, but after she kissed me I realized it wasn't what I wanted. It wasn't what I needed. I wanted you, Bella. I needed you. I stopped her and left right after," Edward confessed, allowing their gaze to break as he looked at the floor, shame contorting his handsome features. "I couldn't find you after that. I searched the entire house and outside, but you seemed to have disappeared. I thought I lost you when you didn't return any of my calls," Edward whispered.
Bella knew she shouldn't forgive him so easily, but she felt the tug on her heart strings as Edward confessed his insecurities that mirrored her own. She knew what it was like to fear being left behind. Without wanting to, she sympathized with the tall brunette. However, she wasn't going to forgive him so easily.
"Edward, it's still not okay. You hurt me through your decisions and actions. I don't think I can trust you anymore, and in a week you're going to be on a tour without me around. After last night, how can I trust you won't do the same while you're the one gone this time?"
"I realize I broke your trust, babe. I do. That's why I thought that you could come with me," Edward stated with a smile.
"Come with you?" Bella repeated, confusion clear in her expression.
"Yes, on the tour. I already talked it over with the band and they would love it if their number one fan tagged along," Edward beamed, clearly impressed with his foresight. "This way you won't have any doubt as to what I'm up to, so I can re-build your trust in me, and I get to spend time with my girl."
"Edward," Bella sighed. "I appreciate your consideration and the gesture, but you're forgetting something."
"I am? What's that?"
"Edward, I have school," the brunette explained calmly as if talking to a child.
"But, you took off all last month to go to Florida! Why can't you do the same for me, Bella? Don't you love me? Don't you want to be with me?" Edward pouted.
"It's not that, Edward. I have responsibilities and can't go across the country at a whim! As for Florida, you know it was a family emergency, not because I decided to take a vacation so early into my semester. And I didn't take off, I was able to leave for extended weekends because Phil offered to fly me each trip, and I still attended my classes during the week. I just rearranged my study schedule and figured temporary arrangement out with work."
"Can't you do the same with me? For us?" Edward begged, catching hold of Bella's hands in his, his thumbs rubbing calming circles on across her metacarpals through the soft skin.
In the end, despite the next hour of arguing the same points, and new points over, Bella had gave up and agreed. She had just wanted to sleep and for Edward to stop pressuring her. Similarly, she did feel guilty for not being around for him. He was always there for her, Edward had argued, yet she was abandoning their relationship when he needed her support the most.
Between the exhaustion and guilt, Bella conceded and headed home. Over the next two weeks, Bella had talked with her boss and giving a false story as to why she would be gone, filled out the paper work needed for the extended leave. Similarly, she had talked with her professors about her campus classes, despite Edward telling her to simply drop the classes and take them again in the spring.
Thankfully she personally knew both professors and was able to strike an agreement after using a similarly fabricated story about having to go back to Florida due to her mother having birthing complications. By the end of the two weeks she had been required to turn in all her assignments for the time she would be gone. In turn, they wouldn't drop her due to her lack of attendance. As for her tests, Bella worked it out to be able to take them online for one class, while the other professor didn't have classroom tests. Instead, she had been required to submit a paper over each week of content she would be missing.
As for her online courses, she had prayed she would simply have internet access wherever they were going. If nothing else, she was sure that she could pop in a café shop of sorts and work on her assignments while the band was rehearsing. To say she was tired was an understatement. In order to pull everything off, Bella had hardly slept the entire duration, and practically ignored the outside world besides going to class and work.
All she wanted to do was stay home and sleep, but because of her agreement with Edward, she couldn't even do that. Closing her eyes, Bella idly wondered if Rose and Alice were awake and getting ready for the day yet. The sun had crested the horizon a while ago, so they should be. Unfortunately, the other two girls were unable to join the tour due to work and other responsibilities. I guess I'm the only lucky one, Bella sarcastically cheered in her head.
Sitting up, Bella stretched her arms into the air, amused to be in a vehicle where her wiggling fingers didn't touch the roof. With a quick crack of her neck, Bella rose and moved about the bus to use the bathroom. Upon coming out, she made her way up to the front to see who was driving this time while everyone continued to sleep on the deck above.
Bella had been surprised to note that, similar to taking care of their own home, the Denalis also liked to take turns driving. They wouldn't require the boys to drive, but if they wanted to, they wouldn't object. When Bella had inquired why they preferred it this way, Kate had explained that it made it feel more like a road trip for the three to bond than an obligation to get to the town over for their next gig.
In the end, Kate also admitted that they did have someone to drive them, too, when the concerts ran late and they had to be performing the next day. They simply had the driver ride with Carmen and Eleazar, their managers. Apparently the pair enjoyed taking their own vehicle to be able to go off on side road trips when the girls didn't need their assistance. Later, Bella discovered that the duo were actually married. By having David, their driver, ride with the pair, it gave them time to take a break as well and not be exhausted by the time they stopped.
Pushing the door to the main cabin open, Bella peeked in to see the back of blonde hair styled in a short crop. Smiling, Bella cleared her throat. "Mind if I join you, Irina?"
Turning her head, the blonde graced the girl with a smile to rival the sun now shining on the road. "Of course, miláčku, of course. Here, come sit." Irina gestured at the seat beside her.
Gratefully, Bella eased into the co-captain's chair, as the women had called it when they had given her a quick tour of the bus. Curling up sideways in the chair, Bella stifled a yawn as she stared sleepily out the window, the silence calming her nerves.
"Why are you not sleeping?" Irina inquired, pulling Bella from her happy daze.
"Oh. I, erm, just couldn't."
"Was the bed not comfortable?"
Blushing, Bella shook her head. It wasn't that at all. Actually, the bed had look just as comfortable as the one she had slept on at the Denali's residence. It was who she would be sharing it with that had caused her to be hesitant to go up the stairs when the others had retired. While there were comfortable couches, a kitchen, and a full sized bathroom downstairs, the sleeping quarters resided upstairs. On the tour, Bella had noted that it had been divided into three rooms.
Curious, Bella had discovered that usually Carmen and Eleazar shared one bed, David had his own, while the sisters opted to share the other when they were unable to stop at a hotel. On this tour, however, they had purposely planned everything to be able to stop for a day or two per city, so they wouldn't have to figure out a fourth sleeping arrangement for the boys.
To accommodate the first leg of the drive, they had simply divided it up to have the Denalis sharing one bed again, since they liked to rotate driving, and gave the other two rooms to the other band for them to divide as they saw fit. Initially Edward had pushed to share a room with Bella, but when the other members argued that they weren't fitting four bodies on one bed, despite the size, Edward had to concede, much to Bella's relief.
Although their relationship had been improving over the past two weeks after that fretful night, Bella still wasn't willing to take that next step and sleep with Edward, especially with others around. It was one thing to fall asleep cuddling on the couch or in bed, purposely knowing that it would only be for a few hours. Bella was able to send Edward on his way to the couch or she would leave, if she was at his house. But to do so knowing it would be all night? No.
Even so, she didn't think she could consciously do the same with the Denali women. She had fallen asleep in the bed by herself, or at least she had assumed, and as for the couch, it was a harmless nap like she had taken with Edward or Alice. However, when she had gone upstairs and caught Tanya in the process of changing to join Kate, Bella had quickly opted to stay up and sit on the couch.
"No, it wasn't that."
"Then?"
"Just, too much on my mind."
"Care to share?"
Shaking her head, Bella made a nest out of her arms as she curled up sleepily in the chair. "It's okay," Bella murmured, already half asleep in the blonde's presence. She had struggled to stay awake this long, but the gentle movements of the bus and the quiet humming coming from the woman beside her lulled the brunette finally into the land of dreams. The last thing Bella was aware of was the feeling of sudden warmth enveloping her. Pulling the fabric closer, Bella clutched onto the leather as the warm, familiar, scent pushed her over the edge and into darkness.
