A/N: Complete and total crack!fic. My friend dared me to write a short story that included: bad poetry, Santana in front of the class, and pezberry in some form. So, here you go. I'm going to go hide now. XD
"Alright, guys, that's it for today! Have a good weekend, and please, work on the songs we practiced – " Mr. Schuester blinked, staring at the perfectly manicured hand in the air, "Yes? Santana?"
Santana sighed, a deep frown on her face. "Mr. Schue," she started, her voice clipped and heavy with annoyance, "I have a couple of words to say." She muttered quietly, but still loud enough that he caught it, "Dammit."
Furrowing his brow, Mr. Schuester looked at the other students, who had paused from packing up to see what was going on. Figuring that if they didn't mind staying a little after class ended, he shouldn't either. He shrugged and swept an arm out at the empty space in front of the piano, "Well, have at it."
"Thanks." She sounded anything but thankful. Standing up and straightening her jacket, Santana suddenly jutted a finger at a smirking Puck, glaring at him. "Don't you even, don't you…"
Puck raised his hands in mock surrender, the smirk still planted firmly on his face.
Rolling her eyes and mouthing something at the ceiling, Santana stalked up to the front of the class. "God fucking dammit," she swore under her breath, again loud enough that everyone could hear it.
Mr. Schuester shifted in his seat, ready to call her on her language, when Santana opened her mouth again and turned her dark eyes onto the members of Glee. Scowling, she modulated her tone into an emotionless cadence, flat and affect-less. If that wasn't weird enough, the words coming out of her mouth, as soon as they understood what she was saying, made everyone's jaws drop.
As if by rote memorization, completely detached, Santana recited:
"Oh golden star
You are so misunderstood
So small and shining bright
I'd hold you close if I could"
Santana paused, and thinking she was done, everyone except Rachel, Brittany, and Puck looked at each other with 'what the fuck?' expressions on their faces. Brittany was studying Santana with curiosity, her head tilted a little. When Artie asked with his eyebrows if she knew what was going on, she shook her head. Puck just sat back in his chair, grinning like he knew exactly what was going on and was enjoying it. Rachel, meanwhile, brow furrowed, stared at Santana oddly, her mouth partly open in surprise.
"Well," Mr. Schuester cleared his throat, starting to rise from his seat, "That was – "
Santana's glare was so full of vitriol that it made his heart jump. He dropped back into his chair, nodding jerkily for her to continue.
She did so, looking increasingly more annoyed, her voice mostly still emotionless, but now colored with incredible hatred for what she was doing, almost grinding out:
"Oh golden star
Your beauty isn't appreciated
But I'd call you gorgeous
Every day if we dated"
If they weren't afraid of interrupting Santana, everyone would be furiously whispering back and forth with each other. Putting the lyrics together in her head, Quinn turned and stared at the girl sitting next to her, eyebrow raised. Rachel flushed at her look, shaking her head that she didn't know what or why what was happening was happening, eyes flicking back to watch Santana present the next verse… Of whatever it was she was sharing:
"Oh golden star
Your mouth can be loud
So passionate and eager
I'd kiss you always if allowed"
By then, everyone was splitting their attention between Santana, whose expression had grown darker and darker, and Rachel, who was slinking down in her chair, face erupting in a giant blush.
When Santana opened her mouth again, Puck suddenly coughed obnoxiously, the sound coming out suspiciously like 'naked photos'.
Growling, Santana snapped her mouth shut. Her eyes promised him pain, but he just smiled smugly back at her. He inclined his head in Rachel's direction.
"That mohawk is fucking mine," Santana muttered, glaring at Mr. Schue to dare him to say anything and make it clear she wasn't done so he better not try to end class. Then, with a shake of her head, narrowing of her eyes, and sneering her displeasure, Santana locked her gaze on an instantly wide eyed and terrified Rachel.
As she stalked past him to reach her, Santana's hand shot out and pushed the back of Puck's chair hard enough to make him fall, not even quirking a grin when he did so. Then, as she came to a stop in front of her, Santana stared down at Rachel. Everyone in the near vicinity unconsciously leaned away.
Crossing her arms, Santana glared directly into Rachel's eyes, sucked in a breath through clenched teeth, and when Rachel tensed and readied herself to get spat upon, Santana dropped to one knee and snarled out, not able to keep her anger, humiliation, and disdain out of her voice anymore:
"Oh golden star
You are all I see in the moon's light
Won't you grant my wish and"
Santana's dark eyes burned so hotly that Rachel swallowed, all of her upbringing being used to keep her from scooting backwards. Whatever last line Santana had to say, the girl obviously hated it.
"Make lady-lovin' with me all tonight?"
