Author's Note: Deep breath... not much to say here so let's get to it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.

And to answer some reviews:

Mistress Mysterious: Yes, yes he is.

Guest: Yeah, last chapter wasn't kind to Angel. If you like Scarlody, then you're really gonna like an even more crack fic pairing in the later seasons.

PurpleShadowManipulator: I'm glad you're liking the series, and you won't have to wait too long for some of those predictions.

Gucci Mane LaFlare: Ursine is an adjective meaning 'bear'. And thanks.

Derick Lindsey: I'd be surprised if you did see it coming. The idol is somewhere in the campgrounds. The irony behind Angel's eliminations here and last season get better (or worse) when you realize that both were the eighth episode of their respective seasons. And for the rest, wait and see.

StarHeart Specials: Well he is a hate sink. And Lily doesn't think Angel blew up the mansion, she just knows there wasn't any point in arguing at the time and is more focused on winning than finding out who really did it.

WeirdAlfan101: Well I can only hope his eventual comeuppance is horrendous enough.

That British Guy: No worries, Lily is convinced of her sister's innocence. And sorry about the reuniting eliminations thing. It just seems like good plot.

Shrimpimp: Matthew doesn't need an ally. Or at least that's what he'll tell you. I wish I could've had her go further, but for the rest of the season to play out that's when she had to go.

Remaining All-Stars:

Boys: Alejandro, Cody, Matthew

Girls: Bridgette, Heather, Lily, Scarlett

And now, episode 100...


Episode 09: Alien vs Competitor

"Last time, on Total Drama All-Stars!" Chris said, the capstone theme playing as the recap started off with Angel and Bridgette asking Lily to work together as all three ran to the docks. "The teams were no more," the eight campers were shown reacting with shock to the announcement of the merge, "and it was a free-for-all race to the floating machines for a regatta to boat around Wawanakwa." Lily was shown boarding her boat, as were Alejandro and Heather, and the clip of the icons circling around the image of the island followed after.

"But, some floated better than others," the host continued as the montage flashed to Scarlett and Cody's first boat of choice sunk with them in it, "for some reason..." Matthew was shown sabotaging the same boat, leading Chris to cough out his name. "And Chef supplied some dynamite entertainment!" Chris added, his assistant dropping a stick of dynamite that blew up Alejandro and Heather's engine.

"Lily won the challenge." The cynic was shown diving across the finish line. "Meanwhile, her sister proved she had what it takes to be a villain after all," he added, getting angrier with each word, as the cast were shown reacting to the destruction of Chris's cottage, "earning her a disqualification and flushing," the idealist was shown protesting her innocence as she was Flushed.

The recap ended there, the scene moving to the Dock of Shame. "Seven players move on," Chris said. "Soon, one more will be gone! Who will it be? Stick around and see! Here, on Total! Drama! All-Stars!"

XXXXX

[Though the overall sequence had been shortened for the season, it opens much the same as it has previously – a shift into letterbox format and a focus on the tops of some distant pines. A stage light, sleek and shining with a price tag still attached, rotates up and turns on; then the focus cuts to an angled shot of a different group of trees as a spotlight, also shiny and new, swings down and turns on; then a small video camera pops out of some burrow next to a spray bottle of some cleaning solution, knocking away a roll of paper towels as it emerges; then a second camera pops out of a tree hollow along with a scrub brush, bar of soap, sponge, and a load of soap bubbles. Pale arms clap a film slate in front of the camera, cutting the scene to the Dock of Shame. The camera flies forward, swinging past the Wawanakwa sign and then the final few posts of the dock, rising up to show the spa hotel as Chris and Chef landed their red helicopter in the common area.]

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

[The camera flies past the helicopter and up the thousand-foot cliff, cresting the peak and diving into the lake below, where Angel plays tug-of-war with Heather over a large treasure chest while the Drama Machine sits and sparks nearby, both girls in their swimsuits.]

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

[Angel and Heather set the chest down and to their shock it bursts open to reveal not only a cloud of bubbles and the Mike-onut and several McLean Invincibility Statues, but also a twitching and awkwardly-folded Cody who floats up in his swim trunks alongside the wooden heads. The Drama Machine explodes and the shot cuts to a small patch of bubbles on the surface, then zooms out to show the remaining swim-dressed campers lined up according to their teams – the villains holding red dueling sticks on the left on a wooden raft, a hollowed-out log, another wooden raft, and a green canoe; the heroes holding gold dueling sticks on the right on an inflatable raft, a wooden raft, another inflatable one, and a red canoe. The camera zooms in and moves between them as they clash – vicious Jo against hesitant Victor; smug Alejandro shoving away shocked Bridgette with one hand; Natasha ducking from Kitsune's strike and causing her to fall into the lake; Mike, as Vito, brutally thrusting the end of his dueling stick into Scarlett's stomach; and Lily and Lightning angrily slamming their sticks against one another; Matthew falls from the sky and into the lake, dousing the former almost-couple and the camera.]

[The water dries away from the camera lens showing the campfire and Cody and Scarlett leaning in with eager smiles against the full moon...only for Kitsune to suddenly pop up between them with a cheesy grin, causing the two geniuses to look away with blushes. The camera zooms out further, revealing the other cast members sitting on the stumps around the fire – Angel, Lily, Bridgette, Lightning, Matthew, and Victor on the left; Mike, Alejandro, Heather, Natasha, and Jo on the right. The zoom continues even further, showing the signboard over the firepit's entrance which now read 'Total Drama All-Stars', with the dash replaced by a star.]

XXXXX

An angelic chorus began as the episode opened on the spa hotel, the hour late and the lights inside all on. A bikini clad Lily was sitting in the hot tub outside, sighing happily as the camera zoomed in. "This is the life," she said. "Once I win that million dollars, me and Angel will live like queens!" she said in an uncharacterisicly giddy fashion.

The shot pulled back slightly as the elderly butler arrived and handed her a plastic cup with a lid and a straw in it. "Thanks, Jeeves," Lily said. "Maybe once I'm rich I'll hire you."

The butler merely turned and walked away without so much as an acknowledgment.

Lily watched him go with a scowl. "Or not." She pursed her eyes just then, and the camera pulled back again to show Chris walking towards her on the spa hotel porch, wearing only a towel.

"Hey roomie!" the host greeted. "Since you sister blew up my house, I gotta stay here."

"Seriously, Angel didn't-" Lily began to say.

"It's no fun for me either," Chris complained. "I lost everything, including my swim trunks." He moved closer to the tub and reached for his towel.

Lily quickly hopped out. "Here! Have it!" she said as she ran into the spa hotel. "For ever!"

The camera focused on Chris as he smirked and removed the towel, revealing a pair of knee length swim trunks covered in pictures of his own face, and hopped into the hot tub. "Works every time," he chuckled to himself.

\

A few tense notes played as the scene flashed over to the losers' cabin where Matthew was leaning against the porch railing, watching with a distinctly annoyed look.

"Something wrong amigo?" Alejandro said, suddenly coming up from behind and throwing an arm around the hipster's shoulder. Matthew jumped a little, but just gave the charmer a dirty look and settled back into irritation. "Let me guess, you're upset over losing to Lily yesterday?" Alejandro continued.

"And let me save you some time," Matthew said grumpily as the shot cut in for a close-up. "I'm not sorry for trying to knock you and Heather out of the challenge yesterday. It's the Final Seven and I'm the odd man out. I can't afford to play nice all the time and you can't afford to hold it against me."

"What makes you say that?" Alejandro asked, the camera panning over to show him giving Matthew a half-smug-half-curious look.

Matthew gave him a look of blank disbelief. "You and Heather can't possibly face off against everyone with your reputations," he explained. "The others are too well connected."

"But you're not?" Alejandro asked.

"As if I'd want to be near those idiots long enough," Matthew scoffed.

This seemed to please Alejandro, and he spent the next moment rubbing his chin with a smirk.

Matthew sniffed and rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

XXX

"Alejandro seemed a little too sure of himself back there," Matthew told the outhouse. "But he's always been an arrogant jerk. I need to get into that spa hotel so I can find where Angel hid the idol. That'll make breaking up all these alliances easier."

XXX

A deep note played as the static cut away to a shot of the camp from just beyond the Dock of Shame. The scene faded forward into daytime as a harsh trill played, and the shot cut to the camp loudspeaker as Chris announced "Challenge time! Proceed to the McLean Spa Library, prron-to!"

The scene moved to the loser cabin as Cody emerged from the lefthand door with a grin on his face. As he made his way to the stairs, the shot zoomed in to his foot as the boards he stepped on splintered. With a startled scream he fell forward, landing with a puff of dust just off-screen.

"Aaah! Ow! Ow Ow!" he groaned, the camera cutting to the ground to show him clutching his knee and giving the porch a dirty look.

"Uhh, Cody?" Scarlett asked, emerging from the righthand door with a look of concern. "Are you alright?"

Cody immediately adopted a more suave look. "Yeah, I'm totally fine. Watch out for that broken step by the way."

"What broken-whoa!" Scarlett said in confusion before tripping over the same hole Cody had and falling forward. She crashed into her boyfriend, and they wound up sharing a kiss. The two geniuses smiled and looked away with blushes.

XXX

"That was my first kiss..." Scarlett said almost giddily.

XXX

"That was awesome!" Cody cheered.

XXX

The static changed the scene to the one of the bedrooms in the spa hotel as the sounds of a search filled the air. The camera panned to the right as Matthew was shown rifling through one of the night stands, then pulled back to show Lily in the doorway.

"What are you doing in here?" Lily accused.

"Looking for something that belongs to me," Matthew replied without looking at her. "Something that was stolen."

"And you thought you'd find it in Angel's old drawer?" Lily replied.

Matthew sniffed. "Well after blowing up Chris's house I'd assume petty theft isn't out of the question for her."

"There's no way Angel did that," Lily said tersely. "But if you wanna waste your time, then go ahead." She left the doorway and the camera cut to a frontal view of Matthew's face as he grinned in delight, holding the immunity idol.

XXX

"Jackpot," he said with the same grin.

XXX

The 'Spa Library', as it turned out, was the monitor-filled control room Chris and Chef had initially taken shelter in during the nighttime challenge several episodes ago. Right now, however, the host was absent – the Final Seven stood before only Chef, the large man holding a cup of coffee.

"Where's Chris?" Bridgette asked, standing near the door between Alejandro and Heather.

"Just hush up, you'll see in a minute!" Chef answered, taking a sip.

Matthew, in the middle of the group, looked thoughtfully at those around him before finally focusing on Lily. The cynic noticed quickly, perked an eyebrow, and asked "So, did you find what you were looking for?"

"No," Matthew replied bitterly

A faint but reverent chorus and a triumphant drumroll suddenly rose up in the background, the scene moving to one of the monitors as it cut to static and then to a live feed of Chris McLean. The host blew a pink and green party horn, a similarly-colored party hat on his head. Behind him was a buffet table laden with various breads, meats, sandwiches, drinks, salads, and fruit, with a large four-layered brown cake with vanilla frosting at the middle of it.

"Welcome to Episode one hundred of Total Drama!" he greeted, confetti raining down on him as a trendy tune began to play. He ducked out of the way, revealing the 100-shaped candle at the top of the cake, and the shot cut away to Alejandro, Bridgette, and Heather exchanging bewildered and wary looks. "To celebrate," the host said, walking back in front of the table, "I have an extra-special one hundredth episode challenge." He paused to laugh, and the music shifted into a tense and ominous trill as the slightly-obscured form of Clone rose up from behind the back-right corner of the buffet table. A distinctly nervous look in his eyes, he quickly darted back down then scampered off to the right and out of sight.

Chris finished laughing and took out a sheet of paper. "I hope no one is allergic to...rhinoceroses!" he read with glee. "Or fire. Or poison! Smallpox, gluten..." As he continued to read Clone rose up behind him, his breathing heavy but not enough for Chris to notice. Clone spotted the camera and gave it an extremely pained look and wave before putting a finger to his lips to signal those watching to be quiet.

"Isn't that-" Scarlett said, perking up nervously from the front of the group while Cody and Lily watched in horror behind her.

"...seborrhea, formaldehyde, terror, tree nuts...," Chris continued, oblivious to Clone slowly raising a sack behind him.

The Final Seven all gave frantic and disjointed pleas which, overall, told the host to look behind him and/or watch out.

"Please, don't interrupt," Chris told them. "I'm-"

The music peaked sharply as Clone brought his sack down over him, the list of possible allergies floating down as he hit the ground with a terrified shout. Clone gave the camera another pained look before swiping at it with his hands.

It cut to static, and in shock Chef spat his mouthful of coffee at the monitor the feed had been shown on. A close-up showed the liquid dripping onto the keyboard and console below causing them to spark, and a dark and ominous tune played as the wall of monitors shut off one by one.

"Ah...that can't...aaah!" Chef stuttered in shock, dropping his mug below the table. "New challenge!" he declared, turning to the kids in a panic. "Find Chris!"

"You want us to hunt down Clone?!" Scarlett replied in disbelief. "We barely survived the last time we did that!"

"Hey! If no one saves Chris, there ain't no show!" Chef barked. "Which means no winner, and no million dollars!"

"What?!" Lily exclaimed in shock.

"You can't do that!" Heather added.

"Hold on," Alejandro interjected, holding his arms out to either side and stepping forward. "We accept this challenge," he said, the music trilling tensely as all eyes moved to him, "but only if the one who saves Chris gets immunity from the next vote."

"And they get permanent residence in the spa hotel for as long as they're in the competition!" Heather quickly added.

"And they get to chose who gets exiled to Boney Island," Matthew added.

"Fine, deal!" Chef said. "Just find Chris!"

"Well, last season Clone was living in the mines, right?" Bridgette asked thoughtfully. "He could've taken Chris there."

"To the mine!" Chef declared, thrusting a finger in the air.

\

The footage flashed ahead to the caved-in mine entrance. "Huh," Cody commented as the camera zoomed in to him and Scarlett, "looks like this place is still sealed up."

"Perhaps they discovered another way inside?" Scarlett suggested with a shrug.

"Then find it," Chef said gruffly, tossing flashlights to Cody and Scarlett. "I'm headin' back to the hotel to see if I can get the monitors workin'," he added, pointing a thumb over his shoulder as the shot returned to him, also showing Heather, Alejandro, and Matthew holding flashlights.

Chef walked away, and the camera focused on the three that had been standing closest to him. "Let's hurry up and get this over with," Heather told them.

"Yeah," Matthew replied.

"Who told you you could come with us?" Heather shot with a dirty look.

Matthew rolled his eyes. "I just thought you'd want an extra hand with the other four obviously teamed up," he said. "But if I was wrong-"

"You were," Heather said bitterly as she pulled Alejandro off to the right, and the camera pulled back to refocus on Lily.

She looked in the direction the two had gone, then turned her smile. "Hey, guys!" she called out excitedly, the camera panning over to Cody and Scarlett.

"We should begin our search over here," Scarlett said.

"Good plan...," Cody replied, Bridgette and Lily joining them from the right and left respectively as they left.

The shot cut back to Matthew as he pursed his lips in annoyance. "Guess I won't have any distractions from winning today."

\

Heather and Alejandro were shown following a trail of footprints to a small cave. "Look! This must be where Clone gets in and out," Alejandro said.

"So are we going in or are you going to keep stating the obvious?" Heather asked with a smirk.

"I hope you still have enough dry wit to help us find Chris," the charmer replied effortlessly.

"Let's just go before the others win the challenge," Heather said, unable to hold in her laughter.

XXX

"The others will certainly target me if I lose tonight," Alejandro said. "And if I play the idol then Heather will be eliminated. We have to strive to win every challenge until a bigger threat emerges. Hopefully I can get the others to see how dangerous Lily is right now."

XXX

The music became low and tense as the scene moved to Cody, Scarlett, Lily, and Bridgette walking across a hillside marked with holes. Scarlett crouched down next to one, switched on her flashlight, and spent a couple seconds looking down it. "Hmm...weren't there mutant gophers living around here last year?" she asked the others.

"Yep," Cody answered, suppressing a shudder.

"I think these are probably the remnants of their tunnels," Scarlett explained, lifting his head and light to look at the other nearby holes. "We can probably follow them into the mine."

"Do we...have to?" Bridgette asked squeakily, the camera cut to a close-up of her pacing feet. "It's just that last time I was there I almost-" a dramatic and dangerous tune played the ground suddenly collapsed beneath her, causing her to fall screaming "-diiiiied!"

"Well that was dramatic," Lily deadpanned before jumping down after her.

Cody and Scarlett looked at one another, then jumped down the hole the brainiac had just been inspecting.

\

The background score calmed down again as the scene flashed to Matthew, who was now strolling through a shallow, rock-filled stream. His eyes lit up as he spotted something off-screen, and he smirked. "And there's my entrance," he declared confidently, the camera panning ahead to show the stream running in to another mine entrance.

\

The scene cut to a dirty, misshaped sack as a brown-skinned hand pulled it away to reveal Chris McLean. The stunned though handsome host had been tied up with rope, and curiously his loose hair was sticking upwards. "Hardy-har-har, Chef," he laughed as he looked around in denial. "Yeah, you got me!" The music peaked as the camera zoomed out and flipped around, revealing Chris to be hanging above a large wooden pool of bubbling bright green toxic waste. The room was the very same one Staci and Clone had lived in for a brief period last season.

"...Chef?" Chris repeated more anxiously, quickly spotting his captor standing on the edge of the stone platform looking up at him. "Clone? Haha, hey there...," he greeted nervously. "Looking, uh, good."

Clone just growled, looking down nervously and not meeting his eyes.

"What, uh, whatcha doin'?" Chris asked him. "I thought you and Staci were off in Winnipeg or Halifax or something..."

"They were," came a familiar voice from the shadows as the music rose ominously. "Well, they were until I kidnapped her from Victor's hotel," she said as Chris gasped. The music peaked as the shot cut to a small, shadowy tunnel nearby, and the speaker stepped out of it to reveal herself as Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran... not looking at all the same as when she was last seen in Hawaii - Her hair was frizzled and tied into a messy bun as well as having noticeable brown roots and instead of her normal red gown she was wearing a large and frankly unattractive navy blue jumpsuit.

Chris struggled to contain his laughter.

\

A few bats flew past the camera through a dark and cave-like tunnel, and the shot panned down to show Cody and Scarlett walking through said tunnel. Cody, in front, waved his flashlight around the cave and called out "Lily? Bridgette? Where are you guys?"

"I believe we were taken to different parts of the mine," Scarlett commented, absentmindedly walking up next to Cody.

"Well that's not good," the geek replied.

\

"Come on... why won't this thing work?" Bridgette said in rising panic as the scene moved to her walking through another tunnel, only her eyes visible by the camera and the sound of clicking rather present in the air.

The light finally turned on and Bridgette was shown smiling. In seconds the cut out completely, and the surfer's eyes widened just before she screamed in panic

\

Her scream came loudly over a wall-mounted speaker, the camera pulling back to show it in a high corner of the control room. "We got sound!" Chef declared, his eyes on the speaker as the fat east Asian male intern fiddled with a pair of cords on the ground and the opening drumbeats of the capstone theme played. "Now where's the dang picture?"

The intern pointed at the camera filming them, and the capstone theme began in earnest. "Oh, you want an update?" Chef asked it bitterly. "I got no idea what that alien's up to, where Chris is, or where the kids are at!" The intern stood up straight and Chef sent a glare his way. "And I got no idea how we're gonna find any of that out with the monitors on the fritz!"

The intern cleared his throat. "On Total! Drama! All-"

"FIX THE MONITORS!" Chef demanded over the zoomed-out shot of the campgrounds.

\

(Commercial Break)

\

The episode resumed to a pair of eyes , presumably Bridgette's, giving the appearance of someone nervously walking through a dark tunnel. A light suddenly turned on and Bridgette screamed while Lily stood there looking unimpressed. "Lily!" the surfer cried.

"It's about time I found you," Lily said. "Angel would've killed me if I let you die down here."

"YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME!" Bridgette yelled.

"It's not my fault these flashlights are cheap," the cynic defended. "Why are you so freaked out anyway? I thought you were scared of woods, not caves."

"Last time I was in this mine both me and the girl I'm in love with almost died of radiation poisoning," Bridgette explained. "So I'm not exactly thrilled to be back here, especially since we're probably being hunted again."

Lily just stared at her blankly. "I guess that's a good point. But we need to keep moving," She went on ahead, and Bridgette followed shortly after with a nervous look on her face.

\

"I'm kinda amazed at how calm you are for this," Cody said as the scene cut back to him and Scarlett.

"Thank you," Scarlett replied sheepishly. "But I'm not that calm. Frankly, I'm terrified."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Cody asked.

"Because we need to win this challenge," Scarlett said idly as her eyes darted around the barely-illuminated tunnel. "And it's never a good idea for me to give in to my emotions. Bad things happen when I do that..."

"You know, I know it's hard to get past what happened in Area 51," Cody turned and told her as a touching tune began to play, "but you're going about it the wrong way. Bottling up your emotions just makes it easier for the dam to break." Scarlett looked at him with silent interest. "I know what it's like to feel like you're going through Hades alone," he said, taking her hand in his. "But you're not alone, you have family and friends who love you. And... I do too."

Scarlett let out her breath. "Cody... I..."

"Did I say that last part out loud?" Cody asked with wide eyes.

"Yes," Scarlett said with a shy smile.

Cody smiled back at her, and they walked off together still holding hands.

\

"Are you a janitor now?" Chris laughed, the scene flashing back to him hanging over a vat of toxic waste, Blaineley glaring at him. "Man," he sighed. "After the day I've been having I really needed that laugh."

"Hmph," Blaineley sniffed. "Big talk coming from someone who's about to be dropped into a vat of toxic waste. Let's see how easy it is for you to get a job in the industry after that." Chris gasped in terror.

"S-seriously," Chris shuddered before settling into a scowl. "Why are you doing this Mildred? Are you too jealous to let a little serious injury, international humiliation, and losing any hope you ever had of getting another not-crappy job in the business slide?"

"Jealous?!" Blaineley repeated angrily.

"You heard me," Chris shot back.

"I'm not doing this out of jealousy, you idiot," Blaineley growled, "I'm doing it because your stupid show ruined my career! Thanks to you the only job I could get was a janitor in one of Victor's hotels!"

"Hey, it's not my fault you ticked Trent off enough to be put on the show that you wound up being voted off of after two episodes," Chris told her with a mocking grin. "Anyway, shouldn't you be trying to mutate him?"

"Who do you think I'm going after when I'm finished with you?" Blaineley asked.

Suddenly, a Clone started growling and the shot cut to the alien gibbering and saying something largely unintelligible.

"Now what?" Blaineley griped.

"If I had to guess, that'd be the campers coming to rescue me," Chris answered.

"Hah!" the hostess-turned-contestant-turned-ex-contestant-turned-janitor bragged. "I can handle a bunch of reality show rejects!"

"There's just one little problem with that theory," Chris told her. "You've only dealt with former contestants. These guys still have a shot at a million bucks and will do anything to get it."

"They can try," Blaineley sniffed, still unimpressed. "Clone!" the alien stood up at attention. "Bring them here. Now."

"Ih," Clone said before he scampered off.

\

"I really don't like this" Bridgette said as the scene flashed back to her walking behind Lily.

"I know," Lily said with a hint of irritation as tense music began to build and a silhouette appeared on the wall behind them. "You've said the same thing about every five minutes since we went down here. Now can we focus on not getting kidnapped please?" She lowered her head and palmed her face, and thus missed the shadowy figure of the very thing she'd been worried about dart silently between her and the camera.

"Yeah, you're right," Bridgette said, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. By the time she'd opened them up again, Clone had darted past her as well. "So do you think they could be in the same room as last year?"

She was answered by a sudden piercing scream, and she gasped in alarm as she looked ahead. The perspective moved to ground-level, showing a single unlit flashlight lying on the ground. Bridgette moaned in fright and inched away from it.

XXX

"I... closed... scream... Lily... gone..." Bridgette whimpered while rocking back and forth and hugging her knees.

XXX

The scene returned to the control room, Chef overlooking the intern as he worked on his hands and knees under the main table. He pulled on a cord, and with a long electronic bleep the monitors turned back on.

"We got picture!" Chef said, pumping a fist excitedly. The camera cut in for a close-up of each monitor, showing Lily trapped behind the bars of a shabby-yet-effective wooden prison. "What in tarnation is-?" Chef began to say before the focus panned to the left, showing Chris dangling over the pool of toxic waste with Blaineley standing by on the stone platform.

Chef gasped.

XXX

"Girly... Chris... trapped... Chris... toxic..." Chef whimpered while rocking back and forth and hugging his knees.

XXX

"We need to figure out our next target," Heather said as the static cut to her and Alejandro walking through another cave-like tunnel. "I think we should send home one of the geeks."

"Agreed," Alejandro said. "We need only two votes. Matthew is an obvious choice as well as easily discarded, wich means we must lure either Lily or Bridgette over to us."

"Lily's not the most trusting person in the game," Heather pondered. "But Surfer Girl?"

"Excellent," Alejandro smiled. "With her girlfriend gone she will easy prey for my false flirta- OW!" his planning was interrupted by Heather whacking his head with her flashlight. "What was that for?!"

"As long as we're together, your flirting days are done," she explained. "Fake or otherwise."

Alejandro scowled. "Fine," he said, "we'll think of another way to lure her out of her alliance in the limited time that we..." He closed his eyes as he walked forward, and as such wasn't paying attention to where he was going

"Haaaaaave!" he screamed as he suddenly dropped, the camera pulling back to show him falling down a sharp slope.

Heather's brow shot up in surprise and concern. "Alejandro!" she yelled as she jumped down after him.

\

"I think we might be lost," Cody said as he and Scarlett walked through another mining tunnel. "Hey, you hear that?" he added, becoming aware of the muffled screams that were growing louder.

The music quickly grew tense as they entered a larger room, peaking as Heather and Alejandro came sliding down and out from a nearby sloping tunnel. Their screams caught Scarlett's attention, and both geniuses looked back just in time to see the villains crash into them.

All four were groaning in pain as the dust settled. "Glad we ran into you," Heather said, ignoring the glares from the other two.

"We need to discuss tonight's vote," Alejandro added.

"We don't have anything to discuss," Cody told them, "We're voting for Matthew."

The other couple simultaneously raised an eyebrow as the got up and dusted themselves off. "Oh?" Alejandro asked in a not-quite-feigned curiosity. "And why is that?"

"Because he tried to feed me to a shark yesterday," Cody explained.

"There is also the matter of his complete lack of loyalty," Scarlett added. "This isn't even getting into the numerous personality flaws that I'm sure we've all noticed."

Alejandro and Heather shared a brief look. "Well as long as it's not us," the queen bee said as she and Alejandro walked past the geniuses to the right, "we don't care who you vote for." They were of course, completely unaware of the shadow of Clone dropping down behind them...

The camera panned to Cody and Scarlett, the geek giving the villains a suspicious look. "How much do you wanna bet they're planning something?" He asked as the music rose up ominously.

Heather's and Alejandro's screams rang through the tunnel, earning a gasp from both Heroes as they turned and looked with wide eyes in direction they'd gone.

\

The scene cut to the control room, then angled close-up of the geniuses still visible on the far-right monitor. Chef was now eating what looked like mint chocolate chip ice cream straight out of the carton, his eyes still locked onto the image of Chris on the middle monitor. The intern rose up from below the table and gave him a stern look, prompting Chef to say "What? I eat when I'm stressed!"

An odd note played as the intern ducked back down and the feed on the right monitor switched to Lily, Heather, and Alejandro in the wooden cage. A close-up panned from it to the feed of Chris, Blaineley no longer in sight. Suddenly and to a dramatic riff the an ax swung down at the rope, fraying it a bit and visibly startling the man.

Chef gasped. "Aww man, that gag?" he said before looking down at his heaping scoop of ice cream. "...we're gonna need more ice cream..."

\

"Impressive!" Blaineley said, now standing next to the vat that Chris was currently dangling over. "I guess even lowly janitors have some useful skills."

"So you still haven't gotten that it was this attitude that got you fired in the first place?" Chris asked drolly.

"You treat people the same way!" Blaineley pointed out angrily.

"True," Chris conceded. "But I never pretended to not be anything else. Your persona on the other hand revolved on being a nice and amiable young woman. And three of those things don't really apply."

A tense riff played as the camera cut to the nearby cage to show Heather pulling Alejandro back to his feet. "Are you alright?" she asked as he rubbed his head.

"More importantly," Lily chimed in, "Where's Bridgette?"

"Haven't seen her," Heather answered mockingly. "I guess your little Hero friends only care about you when you were useful to them."

Lily frowned in annoyance. "Hardly means anything coming from you..." she muttered under her breath.

\

The camera flashed to Cody and Scarlett walking through the caverns, still holding hands. Before either could say anything, the ground shook and opened up just below Cody. The geek let out a scream as he fell, but luckily was able to grab a hold of an old plant root in the wall of the hole he'd fallen in. "Uh, Scarlett?" he asked nervously.

"Cody!" the brainiac gasped as the view cut to show her face as she looked down. "I'll go get something to lower down! Stay there and don't let go!" she dashed off without another word.

XXX

"Where else could I have gone?" Cody asked the confessional. "And why on Earth would I let go?"

XXX

The static cut to the root straining under Cody's weight and the geek sending a desperate look upward. "Scarlett?" he asked even more nervously than before.

"Well, well, well," a nasally and masculine voice said, the camera cutting to show Matthew looking down in the hole Cody found himself in. "Isn't this something?"

"Matthew?" Cody asked. "What did you do to Scarlett?!"

"Nothing yet," he replied, his tone sounding annoyed yet honest.

"Then..." Cody paused. "Can you help me up?"

"I can," Matthew answered, earning a smile from the geek. "But I won't," the smile turned into a shocked gape. "You see, after you punched me and later cost me my lead in the boat challenge, I'd say this is fitting. Plus seeing you squished will make getting revenge on Scarlett for stealing my million easier. And even if I didn't hate you two with every fiber of my being... there's nothing in it for me. Have a soft landing," he mocked as he turned around.

"Yeah," he deadpanned as the camera cut to show his front as he walked away. "That landing won't be soft." The music spiked sharply as Clone's hands reached down and pulled Matthew up and out of frame.

\

The scene cut to the fat intern, emerging into a pile empty mint chocolate chip ice cream tubs. Another bounced off his head, and the camera pulled back to show Chef standing over him. "We're outta ice cream," the large man said with a hint of danger in his voice that was matched by the background score. "Total Drama will not end at Episode 100!" he declared, pulling out the pasta-blaster he'd used last season and cocking it. He turned and stormed out of the room, leaving the intern to shrug helplessly at the camera.

\

Matthew was tossed unceremoniously and rather roughly into the cage, and Clone slammed the door shut before the other three captives could get out. The alien muttered something under his breath, and Matthew picked himself up and scoffed. "What kind of party is this supposed to be?" he asked.

He was answered by something brown and gooey hitting him in the face, the other three captives weren't safe from Clone's barrage either. "Please tell me this is fudge," Heather pleaded.

Lily hesitantly swiped some of the stuff with her finger and put in in her mouth. "It's fudge alright," she said. "Doesn't taste that great though," she added.

"Still, it beats the alternative," Alejandro commented.

The camera quick-panned away from the captives to show Clone standing next to the table with the hundredth episode feast as he pelted the off-screen captives with fudge. He was met by cries of surprise and pain.

\

The scene flashed to Cody still hanging by the root, which was now sounding like it was close to breaking. "Uh... oh..." he said just before the thing snapped, sending him hurtling toward the ground.

The hollow drip of water resounded through the cavern as Bridgette walked along an underground pond. "How am I supposed to find Chris down here anyway?" she asked herself, seemingly unaware of the sound of something falling.

She was quickly made aware when Cody landed directly on top of her, creating a cloud of dust that covered the screen.

The dust soon settled to show a close-up of the geek as he coughed into his fist, then looked down. "Bridgette! You saved me!"

"Guess I did," Bridgette said woozily as she rubbed her head and stood up. "Where's Scarlett?"

"We got separated," Cody explained. "I think Clone took her. Where's Lily?"

"Clone," Bridgette answered. "And I have no idea where he took her."

"Well this part of the mine looks familiar," Cody said thoughtfully. "I think I could figure it out from here."

"Great!" Bridgette smiled. "Let's go save our friends!" The two smiled, then ran off to the right.

\

"Cody!" Scarlett cried as the camera cut back to the top of the hole the geek had fallen through, then pulled back to show the brainiac running with a length of rope in her hands. "I'm here!" She looked down the hole when she received no answer and gasped.

"Cody..." she said tearfully, her head in her hands stopping her from noticing Clone leaping out of the hole to grab her and the scene cut to black...

\

The scene faded back to Scarlett rubbing her head in the cage. "Finally, someone who's not evil or insane," Lily quipped. Scarlett looked up in surprise and the camera pulled back to show all the previous captives aside from Matthew crowded around her.

"Great, now we're stuck relying on Surfer Girl and the Alpha Geek to get us out of here," Heather complained.

"Pretty sure we're only relying on Bridgette," Matthew scoffed. "I doubt Cody's able to help anyone right now."

"What did you do to him?!" Scarlett accused, her eyes taking a red tint.

"Nothing," he defended. "I saw him hanging and then I got snatched by the freak over there."

XXX

"So he expects me to believe an apex hunter chose to go after him when there was helpless prey not ten feet away?" Lily asked the outhouse. "So not buying it."

XXX

A few deep notes played as the scene flashed back to a close-up of Chris hanging upside-down as he suddenly dropped and inch, giving a startled gasp. "No no no, not the hair!" Chris said in panic as the camera panned down to show his hair hanging just inches above the toxic waste.

"You know," Blaineley mused from next to the vat, "there's a special comfort in knowing you're close to working the same nothing jobs I've be forced to do. Maybe we could form a union." She paused to chuckle. "I'd have to be the face though."

"Okay... startin' to get a little scared here~," Chris almost sang in thinly veiled terror, taking a deep breath. "HEEEEEEE~EEELLLPPP!" he sang again, a tense challenge tune rising up in the background.

The shot cut to Cody and Bridgette creeping through a different tunnel, somewhat decorated with red and green streamers. "Streamers," Cody said. "From the party Chris wanted to throw. Looks like we're going the right way."

"HEEEEEEEELLLLPPPP!" Chris's voice rang through the air.

"Sounds like we're going the right way too," Bridgette said in an odd mix of fear, calm, and determination. Chef ran past the two Heroes and into the room where everything was happening.

The scene skipped to him arriving on the raised stone platform. "Chris!" he called out, taking a few bounding steps forward to the edge of the rock and kneeling down with a growl. "Alright girlie, show's over!" he said, shooting off a blast of extra-spicy spaghetti.

The camera followed the pasta blob through the air, and Blaineley barely ducked in time before it landed in the waste without even a splash. "Guess again!" she countered, pulling a small orange pistol out of her uniform and shooting it, forcing Chef to dive backward to avoid the purple-fletched dart coming at him.

"What in tarnation?" Chef asked, standing back up in shock only to get hit by another dart and fall back over in a daze.

"Tranquilizer darts," Blaineley explained, lowering her weapon. "Honestly, Chef I knew you'd show up to protect your meal ticket sooner or later. You should've taken my offer a show when you had the chance."

"C-come on. Can't we talk about this?" Chris frantically said.

The shot cut to Cody and Bridgette arriving to the scene, unnoticed by all. "I'll distract them, you go save Chris," Cody whispered.

Bridgette sent him an uncertain look. "But-"

"You're the second most athletic player in the game," Cody said. "You need immunity more than I do." He dashed off to the stone platform and waved his arms around. "Hey Mildred!" he called out.

"Clone get him!" Blaineley yelled.

The shadow of Clone dropped down behind Cody, causing him to freeze. "CHEEGA NALA QUEESTA" the alien said, standing up and grinning darkly. He tackled Cody to the ground and the two began a struggle off screen.

Blaineley smirked in triumph...until a glob of spaghetti pinned her to the side of the vat of waste. "But?" she asked, her answer coming in the form of a quick-pan to Bridgette holding Chef's pasta bazooka.

The five captive campers cheered. "Quick!" Heather said. "Let us out of here!"

"No, let me down from here!" Chris interjected as the camera panned over to the vat. Chef continued to lay unconscious on the rock nearby. Chris was unceremoniously tossed onto him a few moments later.

"Oww!" Chris complained. "Coulda been a little more gentle!"

"Well..." Lily said, standing with the other mildly bewildered campers still in the cage, "I guess that takes care of everything."

"I guess so," Alejandro added, all of them looking at the platform, where Bridgette was dragging an unconscious Cody out from under an equally unconscious Clone.

XXX

"For the record," Chris told the outhouse camera, "I would like to state that I, Chris McLean, was never afraid of that sad, pathetic failure of a host name Blaineley or her pet alien. Sure, it looked like I was scared a few times back there," he shrugged, "but I was fa-king!" He pointed to himself with a smug grin. "I would say that that dramatic performance is worth at least five Gemmies."

He held up five fingers, but a sudden Clone-like growl caused him to wince and shiver in fear. He ran from the outhouse with a cry of "HEEEEEEEEELLLPPP!", an ominous chant playing as Matthew leaned out from behind the small building to giggle in delight.

XXX

It wasn't the usual elimination theme that rose up over the traditional long-distance shot of the island at night, but rather a drumroll that opened into something much more victorious. "Bridgette wins our never-to-be-repeated, or spoken of again, challenge," Chris announced. The seven campers were already seated before him, boys in the back row and girls in the front. Chef was by his side holding the end of the rope that was now tying a rather bruised Clone to Blaineley.

"She saved all of us, and more importantly she saved me," the host said with a wide and vain smile. "So, I'll honor the deal Chef made," he motioned to his assistant who rolled his eyes. "The spa hotel is yours," he told the surfer who smiled in silent excitement. "Who's heading for exile on Boney Island?"

"Heather," Bridgette said with a smirk.

"Seriously?" the queen bee griped.

"Now to find out who's heading home," Chris said, his smile undiminished as the triumphant music came to an end.

XXX

One by one the Final Seven voted. First Bridgette, then Cody, Scarlett, Matthew, Alejandro, Heather, and finally Lily.

XXX

"And the following All-Stars are safe," Chris announced as a metallic trill transitioned the background score into the usual ceremony theme. "Bridgette," the surfer oddly enough let out a breath of relief.

"Alejandro," the charmer raised an eyebrow as his name was called.

"Lily," the cynic let out a breath of relief herself.

"Heather," the queen bee smirked at her name being called.

"Aaaaand Cody," the geek smiled, then sent a nervous look toward Scarlett when he realized she'd yet to be declared safe.

"Matthew," Chris announced, the shot cutting to him holding an unmarred photo of Cody. "You're on the block for refusing to help Cody when he could've died. Seriously not cool man."

"And I'm supposed to care because?" Matthew asked in annoyance.

"And Scarlett, you're the only one here who's won a season and you're also one of the smartest players the game's ever had."

Scarlett said nothing, her eyes wide in nervousness.

The music peaked as the camera cut from Scarlett to Matthew, then back to Chris as he dropped the picture of Cody to reveal a crossed out photo of...

"Scarlett."

Cody, Bridgette, Lily, and especially Scarlett gasped in shock. "But how's that even possible?" Cody asked. "We all voted for Matthew!"

"Not according to these," Chris said, holding up a stack of photos, presumably the evening's votes.

"It's fine," Scarlett said as she stood up. "I wanted to see how long I'd last without being carried, and this is as far as I go." She walked over to Cody and kissed him on the lips to a light tune. "I didn't want our only kiss on the island to be an accident," she explained as he sat there with a dopey grin. "And about what you told me in the mine... the feeling is mutual." With that she walked toward the dock.

XXX

The confessional consisted of Matthew taking a crossed out photo of himself out of the voting box and replacing it with a crossed out photo of Scarlett.

"Revenge on Scarlett for stealing my place in the finale third season, check," he said. "Revenge on Cody for all he's done to me this season, check. Making sure the Heroes never trust each other again. Check."

XXX

The somber farewell theme began to play as the scene transitioned to a zoomed-out shot of the Flush of Shame. "So...," Chris opened mockingly, standing with Chef and Clone next to the giant toilet, "does the failed masterminds have any last words?"

He looked up at the bowl, and the camera panned over to show Blaineley and Scarlett floating in it, the former host still tied up. "I'll get you for this, McLean!" Blaineley yelled.

"No you won't," Scarlett told her bluntly.

"For once," Chris said with a smile, his remote and umbrella already in hand, "I agree with a contestant." He pressed the button, and the screams of their swirling descent came down from off-screen. He opened his umbrella, the back-splash washed over it, and he looked at the alien cause of the day's trouble. "You're next"

"Ih," Clone said sorrowfully, still dripping wet. The scene skipped ahead to Clone being flushed down the toilet.

Chris cleared his throat as the shot returned to him, and the capstone theme began to play. "Yeah, not how I wanted to celebrate the 100th episode of Total Drama," he told the camera. "But, you can't say that wasn't totally dramatic. Plus, I didn't become a horrible mutant," he pointed his thumbs at himself, "and that's most important. Here, on Total! Drama! All-Stars!"

(Roll the Credits)

\

\

(Bonus Clip)

The scene opened on a calm patch of water as Scarlett surfaced with a gasp, Blaineley following suit a couple second later and a foot or two away. "Where are we?" the older woman asked in irritation as Clone surfaced right next to her.

"Newfoundland, if I'm not mistaken," Scarlett answered. "Though I can't even begin to guess why."

"Wow, I'm already tired of being here," Blaineley groaned. The shot cut outward to show a rocky coast in the background, a lighthouse standing tall on one of the rocks.

"I suppose rescue should come soon," Scarlett mused.

As if on cue, a ship's bell sounded and a fishing boat pulled up between them."Ahoy Scarlett," a familiar voice said, and the camera panned up to reveal Harold and Sierra looking over the side of the ship.

"And Clone and Blaineley," Sierra added, leaning over and pulling Scarlett out of the water.

Once the brainiac was safely on deck, her two saviors left to the other side of the boat. "You guys too," Harold said in a scolding tone as he and Sierra leaned over and hauled up Clone and Blaineley. "Staci was really worried about you. And made sure we all knew it."

"Bootchie Boo," Clone sighed.

"Finally," the blonde said in relief as they were set down on the deck. "Now be a dear and untie me, will you?"

She was ignored as the two rescuers went to the newly eliminated All-Star. "Good to see you Scar," Harold told his twin. "So how-"

"Tell me everything!" Sierra demanded, grabbing the brainiac by the shoulders and startling her.

"I..." Scarlett blushed. "I have a boyfriend now."

"WHAT?!" Sierra screeched. "That is so awesome! Who was it?!"

"Cody," Scarlett answered. Harold shook his head and walked off.

"Oooh," Sierra said, clearly impressed. "He's cute. Tell me everything!"

"Well it started when Chris placed me on the Hero team..." her detailing the events faded out as the scene faded to black.


Author's Note Post Script: And thus the end to Scarlett's arc. At least until Random Drama: The Finale. She was an interesting character I think, and one of my favorites over the course of the series. But, like Chris said she'd already won a season and I didn't want her getting too far. Plus I knew I wanted some vote rigging to play in this one and Scarlett was the logical choice for him even with his hatred of Cody. Especially with his hatred of Cody. But hey, they kissed and both dropped the 'L' word. So it's all good right?

And the idol. Matthew has it now, but I need it to still be floating around. I really think you'll like where it ends up before being played and honestly, I'm enjoying the gambit pile-on of it constantly being stolen.

But I'd also like to point out that Cody's reaction to the vote will be present next episode, as it's a big part of that challenge's B-plot.

Let's see now...well, how about I talk about Clone and Blaineley. Originally I was going to have it be Sugar in retaliation for snubbing her on two different seasons; it's why the the last bonus clip was what it was. But then Derick Lindsay mentioned Blaineley in a review, and I felt it was a better idea. I don't know, I like when bad people blame others for their misfortune when it was clearly their own fault.

And as always I'm sure I'm forgetting to mention something.

I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.

And I'd also like to remind you guys that a TVTropes page for this series does exist and needs you guys adding to it.

With that I'm signing off

-TotalDramaFan14


RDRotI ELIMINATION TABLE:

14th Place: Victor

13th Place: Jo

12th Place: Natasha

11th Place: Mike

10th Place: Kitsune

9th Place: Lightning

8th Place: Angel

7th Place: Scarlett