New chapter! Some new actors on the stage here.


Catharsis

Torn

Well, well... Our happy little family is back together again.
- Alex

Of course, you are welcome to believe whatever you want.
- Saturos

That morning seemed different, in some strange way. The air was clearer or her vision sharper; the sun brighter, or maybe just her clouds blown away. She woke cleanly and completely with that rare happiness and self-confidence that only appear every once in a great while, and that no adversity can dent. The waves were sparkling more merrily than usual, the muffled shouts and statements of her companions more joyous. She took a deep breath and her horizon expanded. Whatever this was, it sure felt great. All the worries and pains of the last few days had fallen away like little scales, fading under the presence of this commanding new emotion. Mia pulled on her clothes with an eagerness she hadn't felt in far too long, quickly pulling the snarls out of her hair.

Before she left, she stopped and snapped her fingers. Four Mercury Djinn plopped into existence on the floor, their expressions conveying various forms of discontent.

Hey, remembered us.

"I'm so sorry," she said, crouching and wincing with guilt. "I haven't been myself at all."

Aww, it's okay. Heck no, it's not. Quit harassing her, Fizz, she's been through a lot. Oh, fine.

She shook her head to sort out the tangle. Djinni always did this. They were a lovable bunch though.

"So you know all about it already," she said. "Do you know about Felix?"

Unruly assent.

"Well, I already know I'm not going to get anywhere with him. See if you can talk to his Djinni, find out what happened to him and why he acts this way."

Unhelpful suggestions, smart-mouthed humor, and general deprecation, but one by one they skated out the door and left. She smiled. If there were any favors an adept could do one of them, she'd do it, but so far there was nothing.

Felix was in the common room, sitting at the table, books and charts spread in a thick layer under his elbows and forearms. He was blocking her way to the door outside. He looked awful.

"You look awful," she said, and enjoyed the mere act of speaking, of drawing in breath and exhaling.

"Mmm."

She bit down on budding sarcasm just in time, and forced herself to study his face.

By his face, Felix was in no mood for light banter. Scratch that. By his face, Felix had not slept at all last night, and had singlehandedly fought off a monster invasion instead. He had black and purple bruises under his eyes, his skin was sallow, his expression completely lifeless. His mouth was slightly open, but as she stood there he bit it shut.

And that was enough. She couldn't say she felt anything beyond a pure neutrality, but it was a start. No more hatred. She'd had her fill.

"Do you, um, need anything?" she asked.

"No." Every line in his body was telling her to get lost. She did so, skirting around him and heading into the fresh air. She couldn't do anything for him if he was like this. The Mia of the last few days, upset by the revelations in Contigo, further unbalanced by irrational behavior on Felix's part, had finally recovered and regained her feet. She said a quick prayer to Mercury thanking her for Piers and Ivan, bless their hearts.

Whatever it was about the world above decks, it was still there and still drawing her. The cliffs of Hesperia to her left and Gondowan to her right stood aloof, a forbidding funnel. She could just make out faint smudges of green above the chalky white stone, unknown forests, trackless plains. The sun extended its blessing on her third day of sea travel, obliterating shadows and distances with pure white light.

"C'mon, Jenna, let's just go say hi to her!" This in an urgent undertone from her left. She turned, shading her eyes with her hand, and saw Sheba tugging on a reluctant Jenna's arm. Sheba let go with a jerk and stamped a foot on the boards.

"Dammit, Jenna! I'm gonna get angry with you in a minute! Let's go!" She got behind Jenna and pushed, keeping up a nonstop stream of verbal harassment the entire time. Mia had to smile. While her words were ferocious, it was obvious that she had neither the body weight nor the actual intention to make good on any of the twenty or thirty threats she made before she got to where Mia was standing. Jenna, given one last shove, stumbled forward to a halt and refused to make eye contact. Sheba came out from behind her, blowing blond hair out of her face, and stuck a hand out.

"Mia. Sheba. Believe we've met."

Mia shook hands, unable to keep a broad grin off her face.

"Piers told me you were a character. How are you?"

"Good. I saw your face when you stepped out. Felix's pissed this morning, huh." She cocked her head sympathetically.

"Yeah, he is, but I'm not gonna let it bother me today," Mia said firmly.

Sheba nodded decisively. "Well, I'd beat him up for ya, but not even I'm willing to cross him when he's like this. Good attitude. Take it in stride. The block of wood over here is Jenna. You can see the family resemblance."

It felt good to laugh, so good to let it out, to be happy again.

"Heehee. Hi Jenna. Morning."

"Morning," Jenna said cautiously. Her eyes never left the ground.

"Sheba, you act like this around Felix, too?" Mia couldn't help but wonder. It was like a gravestone being friends with a little bird.

"Sure. It's my personality. We get along fine, actually. Same way in Lalivero; I never got in trouble. You'd be surprised; some days he's actually pretty nice. He opens up a little bit."

"I know," she said. "He had one of those yesterday." They began moving down the deck toward the prow as they talked.

"You wanna know something? I think you're doing this to him," Sheba said thoughtfully. Mia thought back to what Piers had said last night.

"You're the only one who's made a dent..."

"Really," she said. "What do you mean?" Sheba flopped her hand back and forth in the air to demonstrate.

"The personality thing. After all this time, me, Jenna, Piers, and Kraden aren't really willing to stand up to him when he's ugly, though we're worried about him all the time. When he's nice, he's nice, but it doesn't affect how he acts when he goes back to normal. If anything, it gets worse. And you guys," she gestured vaguely – "you guys aren't willing to talk to him. Only you talked to him. You're helping him fight it off a little, and the...the thing... it's not too happy about that. It's fighting back, and it's got him pretty securely this morning."

"Huh." What an interesting concept.

And of course, I know how he feels.

"Thanks," Jenna said suddenly. Mia looked at her curiously. "Uh, thanks. For helping him. I'm so worried about him, but I can't do anything. I just get annoyed...I don't have any patience," she said softly.

"Oh. Um, you're welcome, I guess. I spent most of the last year pretty mad at him, so I don't know how much I deserve that."

Sheba giggled. Jenna caught Mia's eye with a quick glance and unwillingly smiled, and with that the connection was made.

"I know how that feels," Jenna mumbled. "I fly right off the handle at him. So now at least I have the sense to keep my mouth shut."

Mia reflected on how odd this all was. They were talking like Felix was a perfectly normal human being. …On second thought, of course he was. She had to stop thinking like that.

"Aren't we supposed to be enemies?" she asked warily.

"Welll…" Sheba said, looking to Jenna for guidance.

"We're not going to fight," Jenna said decisively. "I know Felix well enough to know that. He's not going to fight you."

Some part of her relaxed at that. She hadn't known she was so tense.

"So, how are you doing, Mia?" Sheba jumped back in, pulling her along. "It must be tough adjusting to all this."

She shook her head. What was tough was keeping abreast of Sheba. As she talked it grew more, not less, difficult to believe Felix could handle this pint-size whirlwind.

"Well, it was hard at first. I mean, we were wrong that whole time? It was hard to accept. And Felix and I definitely got off to a very bad start. But...I don't know... Today I just feel like none of that really matters. I wasn't really ready to get used to it, but here I am." Maybe I was almost ready to accept it this whole time, and I couldn't feel it underneath the shadow. She continued, shelving the thought for another time. "…And hey, the faster we get to Prox, the faster we fix everything. On an intellectual level, I accepted that from the start, but only now do I really feel it." She made a mental note to thank Garet too, for once again pulling her through with the sheer force of his optimism.

"Mia..." Sheba said, her eyes warm. "I'm glad I stopped to say hi. I think we'll get along really well."

"Aww. Thanks, Sheba. Me too."

Sheba stooped.

"And now it's time for your official initiation."

"Initi-" The words were met and stopped with a bucketful of cold seawater, drenching her hair and clothes. As it ran off, her eyes cleared until she could see Jenna, obviously as startled as she was, and Sheba, laughing uproariously. She took a deep breath and traded a long, level look with Jenna, and then smiled deviously, enjoying the further surprise on the red-headed girl's face. A huge wave leapt over the side of the ship, wiping the laughter off Sheba's face in an instant.

"Aww, no fai-" The rest was drowned out by the roar of the breaking water. Jenna looked up from holding the hem of her skirt, water stains seeping up the cloth.

"I don't like getting wet," she protested, but she couldn't keep a straight face. Sheba sat up, gasping for breath.

"Augh! Whoo. Alright, I probably deserved that. Touche."

"Sheba, you dumped a bucket of water on a Mercury Adept. I'm not sure exactly what you thought was going to happen," Jenna teased sarcastically, beginning to dry them all off with one hand. Sheba grumbled wryly under her breath in reply, wringing her hair out with quick twists.
"So, uh, Mia," Jenna said casually, still holding the gentle flame. Way too casually. "You got anybody special, where you're from?"

Sheba shot up straight, grinning broadly.

"Yeah, Mia, spill it!" The smile froze on Mia's face as she looked between them. The first face in her imagination was, of course, Isaac's. But she had bit her tongue just in time, naturally unwilling to just confess her crush at the first prodding, and her senses, given time to react, were going off in alarm. The timing of this was too strange, too sudden. It was as if it had to come before anything else. Sheba's smile was a bit too broad, Jenna's casualness a bit too forced. She laughed, outwardly perfectly at ease. The thing was, all three of them knew exactly what was in Mia's head. The only question left was what she was going to do with the answer.

"Wellll..." she said, drawing it out. She was going to dance around the knives. Very, very carefully.

"C'mon, Mia, tell us!" She grinned.

"Well, there is this guy in Imil..." The emotions on their faces were genuine now. They hadn't expected that.

"He's pretty cute, and funny. But I never worked up the guts to tell him, and then I left," she said, relying on the bits of truth among the lies to make her voice natural. Jenna was leaning forward, unconsciously, completely betraying herself. Sheba's reaction was a little more unexpected. She'd dropped all pretence of frivolity and was staring at Mia with an open wonder that she found a bit disconcerting. Mia broke eye contact with her and drew a deep breath. Whatever pitfall was there, she'd just avoided it.

"So, how about you, Jenna? Isaac?"

She nodded, blushing; a little embarrassment, a little guilt. Mia smiled.

"He talks about you all the time. Jenna this, Jenna that."

Jenna swallowed hard, blushed harder. Sheba spoke up, her enthusiasm back.

"Haha. D'aww. That's sooo cute! Mia, let's get 'em together so Jenna can confess."

"Ah, shut up, Sheba! She's been doing this to me for like eight months," Jenna confided. "I'm going to eat breakfast now," she said loudly, over Sheba's helpless giggles.

"Hm. Yeah, me too. Having ice water dumped on me gives me an appetite."

Sheba scrambled up as they strolled away.

"Hey, wait! Wait for me!"

Garet was at the table inside, looking only a little less energetic than Mia herself. Felix had packed himself up and gone off somewhere. Jenna and Sheba veered off immediately for the kitchen door, but she stayed for a second to say hi.

"Hey Garet," she shouted, waving happily from the doorway. He grinned and waved back.

"Hey Mia. Lots of energy this morning, huh?"

She walked over to him.

"Yeah. You too? Why is that, I wonder?"

Garet smirked knowingly.

"You mean you don't know? Think about it, Mia. What's different today. Listen. Look. Think."

She slowed to a stop, thinking.

"Um..." Everything seemed the same. She didn't get it. What was he trying to say?

"Can you hear the waves, Mia?" Yes...

"Wait- we're not flying anymore!"

He flashed her a satisfied smile.

"Got it. We voted to take a break and let everyone recharge their Psynergy a little bit. It sure feels good."

She was taken completely by surprise.

"Wha-... I had no idea I was so drained. I feel like a completely new person."

"Yeah, I know, right?" He laughed wryly. "I think we assumed it was a little easier to fly than it really is. Even channeling Psynergy through that magic black marble of Piers', so we don't have to think about it, it still took a lot out of all of us." He picked one hand up off the table, looking at his palm. "We set the ship down last night, me, Piers, Isaac, and Ivan. Without all eight of us, it won't go anywhere, and the psynergy that's still going into it accidentally gets kicked back to the respective users, I guess. I strongly doubt that a village full of Contiguan crop farmers planned that far ahead, but the original designers just might have."

"Well," she said. "That's pretty neat, I guess." Something else occurred to her. "Too bad it's one of Felix's bad days today. He could use a little extra pep."

Garet turned, eyes open wide.

"Oh, man, did you see him this morning? He looked-"

"-terrible. Yeah."

He shook his head, dropping his gaze to the ruins of his breakfast.

"Geez. Poor guy."

"Yeah." He looked up, curious. "Yeah, Garet, I'm not fighting with him anymore. I'm over it now. I guess-" she grinned, somewhat sheepishly – "I guess I just needed a good night's sleep."

He nodded in agreement.

"I know what you mean."

"I'll be honest with you, Garet," she said. "I'm not ready to like him yet. But I know you did once…and I know you too well not to trust you on this. If you want to find some answers… I'm willing to help." He slapped the table, delighted.

"Ye-heah! That's the Mia I know!"

She giggled, jokingly giving him the "take-it-easy" look she'd been using for months. He sometimes got overexcited.

"All right! Well, I'll just step out of your way, then." She'd only seen Garet this excited a few times before. "Wait'll Isaac hears about this."

"Oh. Um, Garet?"

"Yeah?"

"I...I'm sorry. For how I've acted, these last few days. It's not like me."

Garet's grin got even wider and more relieved, if that was even possible.

"Geez, Mia, we were so worried about you. You never came around and talked to any of us. But, uh, Ivan told us about his theory. I guess he was right, then?"

She nodded.

"Yeah. Whatever it was. I just- I can't believe it was so easy for me to slip into that. How did that happen so fast?"

He shook his head.

"I dunno, Mia. I can't help you with that. I'm just glad it's gone now."

"Yeah. Me too."

She sighed.

"Jenna says she thinks we're not going to fight. Felix won't do that."

Garet, to his credit, refrained from saying he told her so.


Piers drew in a breath, experimentally. Where was the breaking point? -Ah. There. His breath caught, painfully, hung up somewhere between his lungs and his mouth, and he spat out a deep, broken cough. A tiny red stain on his lips deepened in color. He took another step backward, placing the foot down ever so gently. His boot made a squishing noise, thanks to the rivulet of blood running down his leg. It felt odd, pooling around his toes.

Now the other foot, slid back a cautious inch at a time, until his heel hit the cabin wall. There it was. He leaned back, gently, keeping his back tense until he felt his spine touch the boards. Then he relaxed, pushing his weight off his feet with a gusty sigh. He extended his right arm to full length, his sword never wavering, not a tremble in his nerves. He eyeballed the vast, horrific monstrosity that had invaded his lovely ship.

"Aright. I'm ready. Come on, you big bastard." It flung open a reddened beak and screamed viciously in response.

The funny thing was that he really felt no pain. Despite the long, horrible gash slanting down his stomach, which he was holding shut with the outspread bloody fingers of his left hand, despite the cuts on his face, the hole through the back of his calf, he couldn't feel anything. Just a slowly spreading euphoria.

"So you've poisoned me, obviously." It cocked its head to one side, watching him from far up. Still, it was good to go like this. One last glorious bloody fight, winner takes all, to hell with the outcome. He didn't dare risk a glance toward the bell, hanging hopelessly out of reach. He didn't have the strength to finish this. Caught off guard, his Djinni were unprepared. All he could hope to do was get someone else to get this creep off his ship before he passed out for good.

He took a slow step, sliding sideways along the wall, but before he could set his foot down again the beak flashed in and out once more, a new jagged score mark across his chest. Still, he watched with dull satisfaction as it reared back in pain. He'd used most of his remaining energy in a savage backhand swing right as it came for him, and it looked like it had connected. Now just to avoid bleeding to death for a few more minutes.


Mia practically skipped down the corridor, bursting with energy. Garet was so sweet to her. Despite knowing the reason for her newfound excitement, she wasn't about to let it go. She grabbed the library doorframe as she passed, catapulting herself in. Felix was right where she'd thought he'd be.

"Hi Felix."

"Mmm." Buried in the maps again. How many maps could he possibly need?

"Felix." She waited until he made eye contact. "Thank you. Thanks for the candle. It was just what I needed."

He just stared at her for a second, and those darn eyes were blank and glassy again. He couldn't even remember.

"What? Oh, um. Yeah, the candle. Um, you're welcome..." But he was still trying to recall.

"Felix. Are you there?"

"Yes," he said, focusing. She decided he was telling the truth. He looked aware for the moment.

"Why did you do this?"

"Do what? Which part of it?"

She shrugged. "All of it. I don't know."

He sighed. "All of it is a story I don't particularly want to tell you right now."

Just about what she'd expected, really. That didn't cushion her disappointment any. His tone and look made it clear she would not be getting anywhere with an interrogation. Despite her good mood and her resolutions, it was incredibly difficult not to lose it with Felix. She gritted her teeth and swallowed her resentment.

"So. What are you working on?"

"My house," he said. He pointed. "In Vale. It's right there. I leave it on the desk while I read, so I can look at it."

"And what are you reading?" she asked again.

"Mythology." It was open to a page she wasn't expecting. Mercury. Her patroness. He noticed that she'd noticed.

"I've heard you mention her before. I wanted to know what kind of creed someone like you believed in."

For just a fraction of a second, halfway through that sentence, she wondered whether Piers knew something after all. Then she had to smile. Only Felix, the part-time incarnation of evil, could make something so sappy sound completely devoid of anything but bare truth. He was gradually growing surly and monosyllabic again.

"Felix, I think you should get out of this while you can."

"And what if I can't? What if it's already too late?"

She shivered, forced it down.

"It's not. It's never too late." Nothing. "Felix, why did you do this to yourself?"

The most horrible expression she had ever seen crept over Felix's face, an image of inhuman, vicious delight. She saw, curiously enough, another expression in the eyes, one of anger, horror and shame, fighting feebly, bubbling up through the cracks in a satanic mask.

"You really want to know? I was weak. I was lonely. I was terribly afraid. I failed. I picked up the sword and said the words and I failed. It was in Yallam, wasn't it? Isn't that right?"

"Shut up!" Felix screamed, a warmer, richer voice. Someone else continued in the same menacing monotone.

"In Yallam, when I found it. I knew right away what it was. The smith tossed it to me, afraid even to keep it in his house. His wife overcharged me for it, and he threw the money out the door too. I knew I should throw it away, but I also knew that I couldn't get all the way north on my own. So instead of trusting my friends and my gods, I turned to another, darker god, betraying all I loved. Again." Strangely enough, considering that frozen, demonic grin, she felt no terror. Only disgust.

"You sick filth."

He continued the piercing eye contact, expression unchanged.

"How dare you make him confess this? How dare you? You don't own him! Not yet!" She took a quick step and grabbed the firm, broad shoulders of Felix, shaking him violently.

"Stop it! Let go of him! You're evil, and I won't let you take him!"

The deranged, cruel smile slowly faded as she shouted. He dropped his head and folded his hands in his lap. She quickly stepped back, giving him room, waiting for a reaction. She swore she heard a quiet "Thank you", almost too low to be heard.

"Sick bastard," Felix muttered after a second, staring hard at the floor. "Hate it when that happens." He said it again, over and over, running the back of one hand across his mouth. "Hate that. I hate it."

At that precise second something quite odd happened to Mia. Something cut through all the rationalizations, the anger, the weariness, the justifications, the intellectual problems. She felt something pierce her. She felt sorry for Felix. Whatever he had done, whoever he was, he didn't deserve this.

They were more-or-less saved from a painful moment by the sudden, sharp ringing of the bell. Felix listened for an intent second and then tore himself violently from the table, with a force that startled Mia. One moment he was huddled into a ball, the next he was flying out the door, leaving a sharp, violent word floating behind him.

She understood his panic. The bell was panicked. It rang violently, furiously, with no rhythm or pattern other than furious haste. Then it stopped ringing. Felix added another bitter swear word to her vocabulary and redoubled his speed.


Before we go on, I SWEAR that Kairikiani and I are not collaborating in any way and that we actually did come up with nearly identical chapters at the same time. Swear.

R&R pleeze