I do not own Vampire Academy in any way. R. Mead does.
Chapter Seven
(DPOV)
I lay on my bed the door locked and a book in my hand I needed to be alone to think uninterrupted after today. Seeing Rose so pale and sickly confined to a bed and not being able to comfort her was killing me. A part of me wanted nothing more than to run to her; fix things telling her I knew they were mine and we could get through this together. I knew that wasn't realistic though this was Rose after all. I betrayed her leaving her the way I did. I saw the hurt, betrayal, and anguish in her eyes as I walked away from her the last time. The reasons I felt the way I did wouldn't matter to especially being that I left her pregnant as well. What had I done? I had always wanted a family and then I fell in love with Rose and it didn't matter anymore. I did horrible things to her things that still haunted me like a plague. Somehow she's forgiven me and made me feel love again but, I messed that up as well. Now, she is having my children and we could be a family if only she would let me fix this. Yet, then there would still be another problem in the way as Tasha was also pregnant with my child and Rose had Alexi. So, what in the hell was I going to do? No question I loved Roza and always would more than anything but, how would I even start to apologize? Could I bring us back to what we once were like right after the first time we had made love? I knew I had to try even if Rose acted like she hated me. She no longer turned to me in times of need that was clear she turned to him. I could tell by the look on his face the first time he saw me he knew exactly who I was to Rose he didn't need my name. I couldn't help but feel immense anger, jealousy, and envy when looking at him as Rose clung to him for support when she was unable to even look at me. She was pregnant with my children not his and she loved me we were meant to be still she clung to him. All I brought her was pain so why should she give me a chance. More importantly how was I going to convince her we belonged together and she should take me back if I could not convince myself? I rubbed a rough hand over my face letting out a deep sigh as a knock sounded outside my door. As soon as the knob began to turn I knew it was Tasha no doubt wanting to go to dinner together.
"Dimka." She called to be through the door. I felt annoyed at her for interrupting my thoughts at first until I remembered she too was with child thanks to me.
"One second." I called putting on my guardian face and straightened my clothes. I was clearly disheveled. After giving a glance in the mirror to ensure she would see nothing in me or my posture I opened the door. She stood there in a tight blue dress that brought out her eyes and a pair of black heels. Her long black hair in a tight ponytail of perfection. She looked pretty as she smiled at me noticing me taking in the sight of her. Still she didn't look better than Roza on her worst day. I pushed the thought away immediately forcing a smile at her. "You look nice." I finally said as she entered my room.
"Thank you DImka. I figured we could walk together to the dinner." She said politely.
"Of course I just need to get dressed." I said as nicely as I could manage walking to my closet and pulling out slacks and a black button up.
"You should wear the blue one so we can match Dimka!" She said stepping next to me grabbing a shirt from my closet I had only worn once. I nodded hanging the black one back up and grabbing the one from her politely. It bothered me to a degree that she was picking out my clothes. Then I remembered that that was the least of my problems. I was heading into a room full of people who loved and cared for Rose and a few of those people wanted me dead. I went into the bathroom shutting the door as I changed clothes. Tasha had obviously seen it before since she was expecting but, something about her seeing me like that when I was sober did not sit well with me. I pulled my hair tie out and put a brush through it before re-tying it at my neck. I exited and slipped on a pair of dress shoes and my duster before I was ready to go.
"DImka your duster doesn't match and it isn't cold I know you like it but, how about not wearing it tonight?" She asked in an annoying way. Still I continued to walk out the door. There was no way I was walking into that room without my duster. It made me feel stronger and more like my old self which was what I needed right now. Tasha quickly caught up and intertwined her arm in mine as we walked toward the dining room. Everyone was already there socializing except for Roza and Alexi. The Princess shot a deadly glare at seeing Tasha's arm and mine intertwined and, she quickly made her way over to us but, before she could speak Rose entered clutching to the boy for support and again jealousy seized me. That should be me. Immediately, I was concerned as she still looked pale and shouldn't be out of bed yet, I knew that I shouldn't say anything to her.
"Rose how are you feeling?" A blond doctor with the same eyes as the twin males asked placing a hand on Rose's shoulder. I couldn't help but stare at them. As Rose turned to face her I got a glimpse at her full attire. Even seven months pregnant with twins she was still breathtaking. A few shades lighter than she should be but stunning none the less. I was speechless as my gaze wondered over her admiringly from top to bottom. She wore black flats as well as a form fitting silver and black dress that showed her long legs and her swollen stomach. I couldn't help but also notice her chest had grown larger as well as the dressed had a teasingly low V-neck. Her hair was down pinned to one side with natural curls that I wanted to run my fingers through framed her face on one side. Her face was as angelic as I remembered holding a new glow about her. I wanted her in this moment at my side more than ever. She belonged there with me we were made for each other.
"Okay. Happy to be out of bed doc." She said smiling brightly.
"Don't get used to it Rose you aren't off bed rest! Speaking of Alexi take her to her chair next to Lexa she shouldn't be on her feet to much after earlier." She said looking pointedly at the two.
"I didn't mean to get so worked up. We talked about that earlier and I'm going to work hard on being much better about my temper." Rose said putting a hand over her stomach protectively. Regret flashed in her eyes and I could see the same look of self-blame I had worn so many times. I had no doubt she was feeling like a terrible mother yet, again I was helpless.
"Yes mom." He said kissing the woman's cheek and leading Rose over towards the second to last chair. Next to her sat the assassin who threatened me earlier. I tried not to show my unease at that. He sat next to her on the other side of course. I couldn't help but glare at him with his arm draped over Roses chair as he leaned in to say something to her. She laid a hand on his shoulder and shot him a half smile. One I knew well as her whatever you say smile. I wanted to laugh maybe he didn't have power over her after all.
"Did you hear me DImka?" Tasha asked pulling on my arm. At some point I had un-wound my arm from hers I noticed. I tore my gaze from Roza and looked at her with confusion. I had also failed to notice that almost everyone had taken their seat. "I said we are down here by Christian." She repeated tugging me towards our chairs on the opposite side and end from Roza. I sat down with her listening to what everyone said around us as we waited on dinner to be served. Abe sat at the end of the table with Janine next to him across from Alexi. They held hands and seemed to be leaning towards each other lost in their own world.
"So, Rose you said at dinner we would be told their names!" Lexa said beaming with excitement. I was also very curious and interested to say the least.
"Of course that's the first thing you ask Lexa." Rose laughed looking to see most of the room tuned into their conversation. Something in Alexi's grin said he already knew them the smug bastard. He probably helped pick them out on night as she cuddled with him on the couch. I gripped my hands into fists underneath the table trying to maintain control.
"Well?" Mia pressed also excitedly.
"Isabel Grace Hathaway and Damien Mason Hathaway." She said with a smile beaming with pride. I couldn't help but, smile they were strong names.
"Damien Mason." Eddie repeated from next to Mia.
"Yep after Mase. I figure it is only fare after all he was my best friend and died to protect me nothing else would have been right. After all without him I would have been dead for good." She said sadly. I could see memories flashing over her eyes and things went silent for a moment.
"He would have loved that Rose." Eddie said reaching across the table grabbing her hand. She smiled sadly at him a moment before nodding. They had both lost Mason after all and both blamed themselves for not being stronger, faster and overall better.
"I love them!" Lexa said wrapping Rose in a crushing hug.
"I'm glad you approve Lexa I don't want to be dodging your knives." Rose joked.
"Never would I direct my weapons at you Rose I would take it out on Vlad and Alexi for you!" She said thoughtfully shooting a deadly smile at her brothers.
"So, Rose who is the father of your twins?" Tasha asked in a fake kind voice. Janine's head whipped a glare at her quickly as she scooted her chair back before Abe placed a hand on her shoulder. I couldn't help but shoot her a disapproving glare myself. Rose eyes looked shocked at me then quickly away. I knew it! I thought automatically that look confirmed it once again. I could see everyone else looked at me with disgust as if to say control your woman. Only, she was not my woman Rose was.
"I am the father." Vlad said smiling at Tasha. Rose shot him a thankful and amused look. Lie.
"So, you knew Rose at the Court then." Tasha probed. I clenched my jaw. I knew what Tasha was doing. She was trying to say Rose cheated on me but, I knew that was a lie.
"Yes, it was pure passion and romance. Wasn't it my love?" Vlad said shooting a look at Rose. She smiled mischievously though I could see her fisted hand under the table.
"Yes, I was lost for you." She played along with a smile.
"I'm so glad we don't have to keep our love hidden anymore my sweet!" He declared dramatically standing front his seat in front of her. I didn't miss the laugh his mother gave nor, the raised eye brow from Lexa.
"Me either now let's have a kiss." She said wistfully reaching towards him. Though I knew it was a joke I felt a flutter of jealousy again.
As he went to go to her Alexi leveled him with a glare. "Oh brother I know this is quite the shock to you but, we will make it through this." Vlad said placing a hand on his shoulder.
"You're hilarious Vlad." Alexi said moving his shoulder to drop Vlad's hand. Tasha glared at them for mocking her. I couldn't help but let out a chuckle with everyone else. She turned her glare to me.
"If you had said Alexi was the father it would be more believable." Lexa said with a knowing glint in her eye. I stopped laughing and she smiled. She had said that to get under my skin and it worked. She knew I knew they were mine I knew she did.
"True!" Rose said laughing, "I want to swap twins." Vlad put a hand to his chest in fake shock.
"Rose you can't do that what about our love?" he asked raising an eye brow. Rose shrugged and laughed causing Alexi to laugh as well. This quickly began to agitate me. I felt pain from how hard I dug my fingers into my skin.
"Well, at least I know the father of my child is Dimka." Tasha said in a sneer so low only the dhampires heard her. I watched Rose's smile drop immediately and a look of disgust replace it. I turned to Tasha with a look of horror. Why did she have to go there? I knew why to hurt Rose and it worked. She wore a triumphant smirk which turned to an innocent smile when she caught my look.
"Tasha that is enough you're being cruel for no reason." I growled lowly to her. I didn't tell Rose to hurt her that morning. I told her because I felt obligated to be the person who told her. I didn't want someone else to tell her. I never imagined she would have such a horrible reaction but, I should have known. After all I knew her better than anyone. This however was strictly to hurt her and that pissed me off. She reached for me and I jerked away quickly.
"You know suddenly I am feeling very tired." Rose said in a tone I easily deciphered. She was hurt again because, of me. "I think I am going back to my room to rest." She stood.
"I can walk with you." Alexi offered moving to stand but, she shook her head.
"I can make it to my room Alexi, stay with your mom and sister please don't let me interrupt this wonderful dinner!" she said standing to leave. He clearly was going to argue but, she placed a hand on his shoulder and a look passed between them. He said nothing as she passed locking eyes with me for a second before leaving the room. I could see the same emotions mixed in them as the time I walked away before. It sent pains through my already shattered heart. I was the only one who it seemed held enough power over her to hurt her this way over and over. Why did I keep doing this? I had to go after her it was time for us to talk about this mess. I had to apologize and explain. I love Roza I don't want her in pain. I backed my chair up to go after her ten minutes later when I noticed Tasha was gone. I moved quicker at the realization. I hadn't noticed her leaving because, I was so focused on waiting an acceptable time so no one noticed I was going after her I missed Tasha leaving completely. I felt my stomach drop as I excused myself and bound up the stairs towards Roza's room in a blind panic.
