First off all, big thanks to Vinh and Kaylee49 for their inputs into the story line, I love the idea that people are truly interested in how the story pans out. I hope you enjoy my version of things!

I stood staring at the door for what felt like an eternity after Jasper's obscure and rapid departure. To me he had always been somewhat of an enigma, but after tonight, he really was in a ltotal mysery

I don't know what to believe anymore. It seemed like he was telling the truth, that he wasn't here at Edward's request. But why the sudden escape? Did I do something to offend him? I don't think I did. Maybe it bothered him that I got annoyed when he insulted Jacob. Yeah I bet that's it, he's almost as steadfastly loyal to Edward as he is to his wife. But still...

The conclusion released me from my catatonia. Making my way to the kitchen, I placed my cup in the sink before heading to the bedroom. I grabbed my shower bag and made use of the ensuite bathroom before climbing into a pair of pajamas and slipping into the bed. Even though I was laying the the most comfortable bed I had ever been in, my mind was spinning and whirling so much that sleep was elusive until the early hours of Tuesday morning. Even so, I was unable to sleep later than 9 am, and the few hours I did manage were filled with strange and unsettling dreams - sharks that were alabaster white grew legs and attacked the werewolf pack, Edward standing by to watch as Jasper shook his hand.

Totally unrested, I dragged myself out of bed, slipped into a complimentary fluffy white dressing gown and shuffled into the kitchen. Peering out the window, I gathered that today didn't look like it was going to be as warm as yesterday, but it wasn't windy or raining either. There were plenty of things I could do today - but I couldn't quite build up the motivation to leave the comfort of the suite yet. After an unadventurous breakfast of cereal and juice, I flopped down onto the comfortable sofa and snuggled into the cushions, using the dressing gown as a blanket. I felt awful, and I couldn't quite pinpoint why. My sleep riddled limbs seemed to throb, my eyes felt as if tears were ready to fall at any given moment, and my head felt as if was filled with cotton wool.

Pulling the dressing gown high until it rested under my chin and covered the rest of my body, I mulled over yesterday's events.

It truly had been wonderful to see Angela. Not so long ago that I had considered cutting all ties with the few friends I had made whilst at high school in Forks (purely for safety reasons) and now I felt giddy when I considered helping Angela plan the most important day of her life. The idea of pushing her away now was deeply upsetting.

Her opinion, that I was meant for Edward, was understandable, but she hadn't seen the development of my relationship with Jake. How he had changed my life for the better, how he had given me my life back. She understood me well, not as well as Alice, but well enough to interpret my behavior and to be a source of comfort when needed. So I should trust her judgement, shouldn't I ?

Could she not remember when I was a breathing shell? How I had reacted after Edward left Forks? Of course she had seen it, but there was no way she could have known whose love and devotion papered over the cracks, helped me become a new Bella, his Bella.

This was the hardest thing I had ever had to do.

Sitting up, I stared at the blank tv screen, as if it held all the answers I so desperately needed.

I had to admit, in some ways it would be easier to stay with Edward than be with Jacob. I chuckled cynically to myself. How twisted my life had become when the easiest option I had before me was to marry a vampire! True, Charlie would be unbearably happy and self righteous if Jake was my choice, but he was pretty much the only one.

By giving up Edward, I would also be giving up the Cullens, most importantly - my best friend. True, Alice was often annoying and pushy, but I imagined my life without her as a focus, it lacked in color and vibrancy.

Esme and Carlisle had always been a source of constant support and understanding that I hadn't deserved or known I so needed. They helped raise me over the past few years, and in many ways I was as indebted to them as I was to Charlie.

I would miss Emmett's belly laughs and gentle sarcasm. I would even miss Rosalie's distain. I would never convince her I really wasn't all that bad and, if I broke Edward's heart, I would confirm her theories.

I loved these people (well, maybe with exception of Rose) more than the air I breathed - willing to give that up to spend my fragment of forever with them. But the prospect of a life of warmth, of family and sunshine, of true honesty and intimacy, was hard to ignore.

A life with Jake would start with many difficulties. Would I have to give the Cullen's up completely? It was hard to predict - whether that was due to their choice or Jacob's. And who would be there to replace them? I knew from experience that Jake could, and passionately wanted to, be my all, my everything. But his brothers wouldn't accept me as readily as Edward's coven had.

Sam's opinion of me was marred by his hatred of the Cullen's. Leah obviously regarded me as a freak of nature, and would make her feelings known to Jacob. Quil and Embry liked me alright, but surely they would hold some resentment towards me, defending their best friends honor? And what about Billy? Could he ever forgive me for what I had put his son through? For almost getting him killed?

And even if my love for Jake won over, I wouldn't be able to shut off my feelings for Edward like a tap. It would take time. Would he be willing to wait for me, again? How far was it possible for one man to be pushed?

But even though my life with him had the potential to be amazing, one thing would always be at the back of my mind. My biggest fear, and it would mean I would never be able to stop looking over my shoulder.

Looking for her.

Jake's other half.

His soul mate.

The woman he was destined to imprint upon.

He vehemently denied this was ever going to happen to him, but I doubted Quil woke up one day and plotted to fall in love with a two year old. And if he did meet her, I would be cast aside.

Like you cast Jake aside, when Edward came back, I thought to myself. I suddenly wrapped my arms tightly around my torso, holding my heart in place as it thrashed at the realization. How could he still want me after everything I've done to him?

Tears streamed down my face and the dressing gown became a tissue, absorbing my pain. I deserved neither of them. I deserved to die alone, while they both lived happy and full lives without me.

But I needed them, both of them.

Loved them, both of them.

I cried myself into a deep, dreamless sleep, making up for my fitful night. I could have slept for years, my life would have been a lot easier if I could.

Finally, I awoke as the dying sunlight streamed through the windows, having slept the majority of the day away.

He was the first thing I thought of.

And I knew.

Knew he was the one.

I stared at the phone. It felt as if it had its own heart beat, a beat that quickened as I formulated my plan. I pushed the dressing gown to the floor and stood by the phone - hovering until I had enough courage to go through with my hastily formulated plan. Minutes ticked by, and I finally lowered my hand towards the old fashioned telephone.

Picking up the handle, I dialed the number I had committed to memory a long time ago. The phone had a dial with holes for each number. When I spun one, I had to wait for the circle to spin back to the start position before I could add the next number. Every time I waited, it felt like an hour. As I finally worked through all the numbers, my heart beat slowed, moving in time with the double ring as I waited for him to answer. Even though I had never felt more nervous in my entire life, relief and hopefulness lit my soul like a beacon. After six rings, a deafening click indicated my call was answered. I didn't give him a chance to speak, nervousness and excitement erasing telephone etiquette.

"It's me, how soon can you get here?

I thoroughly enjoyed writing this chapter and I have already started the next one, I'm so excited about writing it! Please review and let me know what you think. Who has she phoned?hmmm I wonder?hehe