Author's Note* I only own Clara and her gang. Everyone else makes money for someone else. My Beta, A Cullen Wannabe, rocks socks. Please Check her work out. If you are a Twilight fan, you won't be dissapointed. Warning, Tissue alert. Or maybe not :)
Chapter 9: Nightmares
Letty furrowed her brow when she saw Clara not only sink into the chair, but into herself as well. Letty was tired of being confused and left in the dark. She liked knowing what was going on in the life of the people around her. Mystery might suit the starving artist type, but not her. Not knowing can get you killed or worse. The noise of shoes scraping against wood made Letty turn around on the ottoman. Tony had risen up from the couch and the rest of the guys followed suit when Tony raised his eyebrows at them.
"We are going to go grab some grub, do you guys want anything?" Tony asked Clara and Letty.
Letty shook her head, she didn't want anymore delays.
"Just some tea please Ton." Clara said from her spot on the chair, never opening her eyes.
Tony nodded and the guys quietly filed out the door and shut it behind them.
Once the door shut, Clara slowly opened her eyes and settled them on Letty. The sadness in them overwhelmed Letty so much it started to make her own eyes fill with tears. Letty stood up from her seat and climbed onto the arm of the chair and took Clara into her arms.
"Oh chica, what happened to you?" Letty crooned as she rocked Clara back and forth.
Clara's body started to shake and the tears she had been fighting back all day burst forth. Clara clung to Letty as the dam inside her broke and scalding hot tears ran down her face soaking Letty's shirt.
Letty ran her fingers through Clara's hair and rubbed her back with the other, bringing back memories of when Mia was the one doing the holding and Letty was the one crying for her life.
As Letty sat there rocking Clara, lightning flashed in the sky, filling the penthouse with its bright light. Moments later, rain poured out of the sky with staggering force. The rain pelting the windows in an angry cadence. Clara crying just has hard as it was raining. Goose bumps raised on Letty's arm, the storm had come out of nowhere. It was like God was crying for his broken child as Clara cried for her broken soul.
Just as Letty's side started to cramp from the unnatural position she was in, Clara's tears started to lessen. The rain also slowed down to fat lazy raindrops, instead of the fast, sharp ones that stung the skin. Clara slowly pushed herself up from Letty's embrace and wiped her hands over her face to clear it of her tears.
"Thank you Letty," Clara croaked. Her voice raspy from her crying spell.
"Sometimes chica, you just gotta cry," Letty replied, brushing Clara's hair off of her hot, swollen face.
Clara shook her head. "I can't Let. I can't break in front of my guys. I am their leader, I am their strength. When they are lost, I am the one that has to find them. It's not so bad with Tony. He is older then me and actually has his head on straight. But, the others are young and foolish," Clara said blinking rapidly as she tried to soothe her burning eyes.
"They look up to me, even though I am either their age or just a year older then them. How can I feel so old at 21?" Clara asked herself, momentarily forgetting Letty was there.
Letty sighed; Dom had voiced many of the same thoughts since he got out of prison. Letty had never wanted to be the team leader for exactly those reasons. She could just barely run her own life, let alone be responsible for other grown adults.
"Believe it or not Clara, Dom is that best person to talk about things like that with," Clara's eyes flashed making Letty laugh.
"I promise chica. I have known Dom a long time, and even though he tries to hide it, he has those same doubts going through his head. How he has managed to hold together a house full of messed up adults is beyond me. Hell, how he managed me, is beyond me," Letty said laughing. It had taken her a long time to get to a point where she could accept how things were between her and Dom. Rome helped her a lot when she finally made her choice to leave.
"Look Clara, I don't know what happened in your life and I don't know how to make it better, but I have learned that keeping things inside only makes everything worse. We may not know how to fix it, but we can stand with you while you try. I can promise you that we will always be here for you." Letty said softly.
Sometime after the shit went down with the trucks, Letty had learned to let go and grow up. It had been a long, very hard road to travel. It had not always been smooth, but her family was always there to pick her back up again.
Clara brushed her hair back and threw it up in a pony tail with the hair band that was on her wrist to give herself a few moments before she had to speak. Clara had finally found someone she could talk to and not have to worry about how it would affect the team.
"He died Letty. Dean died."
Letty moved back onto the ottoman and took Clara's hands into her own. Letty squeezed them to let Clara know it was okay.
"We uh had driven up to north Georgia to go to the mountains. I had never seen them up close and the only hills I had, had been man made," Clara let out a small laugh. "It was going to be our trip, just the two of us. I had been pitching a fit because we never got to spend time alone together anymore. I always had to have my way, and if I didn't I pitched a fit like a little girl. I always had to be thinking about everyone else all the time that when I was just around Dean I acted like a three year old. Dean pushed aside the restore project he and his dad were working on and took me away for the weekend."
Clara clamped her eyes shut as she talked about the memories for the first time. "The last night we were there, I begged Dean to take me up to the mountain one last time so I could see the stars. While we were at the lookout a car drove up, it was a local racer. I didn't know it at the time, but he was well known for getting out of town racers to race him down the mountain. The racer would get the out of towner to be comfortable with going fast and when they got to the worst turn, the guy would let the out of town racer take it while he fell back."
Letty gasped. What the hell kind of racer conned someone into racing down a freakin mountain! Letty started to feel sick to her stomach.
Clara's voice hitched a little. "I don't remember much. What I know is from what people have told me. The only things I remember is going around a corner and losing traction. I hit my head on the passenger side window and blacked out. I even remember when I hit my head that I was thinking, 'man that didn't even hurt.' When I came to, we where hanging off the side of the mountain. There was white smoke everywhere and I couldn't move my mouth. It smelled like someone had let off a bunch of fireworks. I tried to look over at Dean, but the smoke was so thick I couldn't see. My door was jammed and I couldn't open it," Clara become lost in her own memories.
"The next thing I knew, there were flashing lights everywhere and people yelling. Someone grabbed me out of the car and put me on a stretcher. Lights kept shining in my eyes as everyone started asking questions all at once. It was like they were coming from far away. The next time I opened my eyes I was in a hospital room and Tamara was sitting in the chair next to me. I had broken my left ankle, had bruises all over my body, a serve concussion, two black eyes and a busted lip," Clara lifted her hand up to her lip to feel the faint line where they had to stitch her lip back together.
"When I asked where Dean was, Tamara couldn't even look at me. That is when I knew. I don't know how I knew, but I knew. Dean never even made it to the hospital; he was DOA. Tamara told me that when he went around the corner, the tires picked up the left over gravel from an earlier wreck. The car slid off the road and hit a tree in the driver's side door. It then flung us around a few times and straight into another tree. That tree hit the front of the car on my side. Tamara said that if the tree had been any bigger it would have pinned me and most likely killed me; if it had been any smaller we would have gone off the side of the mountain. A long, long drop since we were still at the top when it happened,"
Clara stood up and wrenched her hands out of Letty's and started pacing the living room floor. "It's my fault Letty. I'm the one that wanted the stupid trip; I'm the one that told Dean to race the guy. They might not blame me, but they don't know Letty, they don't know!" Clara yelled. She stopped in the middle of the living room and turned to Letty; her eyes holding a haunting look.
Letty went to open her mouth but Clara cut her off. "No Letty, everyone else might not blame me, but I do. And in the end that's all that matters."
Letty eyed Clara worriedly. Clara needed a lot more help than Letty could give her, but she would stand with her and prayed they didn't both stumble.
