Author's Note: Alas, another struggle. This chapter is kind of intended as introducing Fili to the idea that his uncle is a king as well as another sibling bonding moment for Thorin and Dis. But, it was a struggle. Honestly, it is time to start introducing the boys to the dangerous world beyond their little house. It may be a moment, as Kili has not yet started his training, but...it will be soon. I'm excited for a little protective Thorin action in the future. Also, the dwarflings should be more present. I find it difficult to write children since they are always changing in behaviors, it seems, without so much difference to their personalities. Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy and, again, thank you for your kind words. They fuel my writing.
CHAPTER 9
"You must be more careful, Thorin." Dis huffed. She was carefully bandaging a nasty scrape on Fili's arm. Their training had been particularly harsh that afternoon and Fili had quite the altercation with the dirt and gravel.
"You know I have the utmost care." Thorin sighed, a weighty apology in his voice.
"I…I know…" Dis mumbled. "I'm just…being a mother."
"I'm fine, mum. Barely hurts." Fili assured her, a gleaming grin on his face. Thorin smiled a little at his enthusiasm. He was obviously trying to cheer up his mother and chase away her worries. Kili's time was coming soon and then both her boys would be subject to similar incidents.
"I'm sure." Dis replied doubtfully. She was grateful it was merely a scrape. Her brothers had sometimes returned worse off than Fili. Even practicing swordplay had its dangers. Perhaps that explained Thorin's unreasonably high pain threshold.
Kili was lying on the floor, watching the ceiling with a smile on his face. Thorin watched him with a smirk of his own, having given up on guessing his thoughts long ago. Part of Thorin hoped that particular bit of Kili would never change. Something in his youngest nephew brought joy into every room and it was unforgettable. It would be wrong for him to lose that.
An urgent, heavy knock on the door startled Kili from his stare at the ceiling while everyone else merely froze where they sat.
"Were you expecting visitors, Thorin?" Dis asked, hoping that's all it was. The last time she'd heard such a rap at her door, it was Balin and Dwalin, carrying her exhausted brother by the scruff of his furs. It was the very night Thorin whispered the death of her husband.
"I was not." he muttered, standing to answer. He only opened the door a crack, his voice low and quiet as he inquired of his visitors. The murmurs and whispers quickly became urgent as Thorin bowed his head in grief. Fili strained his ears to listen.
"It collapsed, Thorin. The earth gave way and many of our dwarf brothers are trapped within."
Mr. Dwalin was here; Fili knew that gravelly voice anywhere. Fili looked at his uncle, seeing a look that he had never witnessed before. Thorin's guise was set into an expression of such determination and power, that Fili was nearly afraid of his uncle. The fire in his eyes were terrifying and the pure desire to protect flared through every muscle in Thorin's face. This wasn't the uncle that he knew.
"Come in." Thorin demanded, opening the door wider. Dwalin and Balin shuffled in with Dori behind them. Each wore a grave look, their hands clasped respectfully in front of them.
"What's going on?" Dis asked fearfully. While Uncle's expression was new, Fili had seen his mother's before. It was the same face she'd worn when Uncle had come to tell them about dad. Fili looked at his younger brother, his heart squeezing painfully when he saw fright in Kili's eyes.
"The mines. One of the shafts collapsed. The earth was too soft." Thorin replied, his tone low and firm. "We're going to try and rescue the survivors."
"No, Thorin, you can't! You're king! And you can't fight the earth." Dis pleaded desperately. "You can't defend yourself against the earth."
"Sister, I must go because I am king." Thorin took a step closer, an apologetic look replacing his previous expression. "I will be back before you know it. But there is not much time. I must go now."
"Please, Thorin, don't go." she whispered, her eyes shining with tears and fear. "Think of the boys."
"I must, Dis." Thorin dropped to a knee to pull his sister into a proper hug. "Don't worry, I'll return."
They broke their embrace in silence and Thorin spared a small smile for his nephews as he walked out the door. The others moved to follow him out when Dis's voice stopped them.
"You watch out for him, you understand?" she commanded, her voice more beseeching than strong.
"Yes, m'lady." Dori replied with a sharp nod. They continued their way out the door, closing it softly behind them. Silence was all that stayed behind.
"Uncle looked so scary…" Kili mumbled, pulling his knees up as his arms wound around his legs. Fili looked at his mother, her eyes still glued to the door. Slowly, she turned to her youngest, offering a weak smile.
"When Uncle is home, Kili, he's the Uncle Thorin that we all know. But, often, when he leaves home…Uncle has to be king. He may seem scary, but he's still a good dwarf. He's still your Uncle Thorin." Dis explained, the curve of her lips tired and forced.
Fili recalled the look he had witnessed, thinking hard as he remembered the harsh lines on his uncle's face. He looked powerful. Now it made sense why everyone looked to him as their king. That expression was enough to convince any dwarf that he was king.
"I want to help." Fili mumbled, gazing bashfully at his mother. He was afraid she'd get angry or upset, especially considering her reaction to Uncle's leave. But Dis didn't yell or cry, she merely thought. Ideas seemed to click within her eyes as her face adopted a serious look.
"You're right, Fili. We should help." she said suddenly, moving to stand. "Kili, I need you to collect all the medical supplies you can find. Fili, help me get some food from the pantry."
Fili smiled. Kili grinned.
Fili thought his arms were going to fall off when they finally got to the mines. Since he was oldest, he volunteered to carry the basket of medical supplies so his mother wouldn't have to carry both baskets. The basket wasn't so heavy; it was just that after such a distance, it pulled on his muscles uncomfortably. He was relieved when he set it down. Kili dropped his armful of blankets atop the supplies.
"Dis, what are you doing here?" Balin asked, having hurried over as soon as he spotted her.
"I'm helping." she replied resolutely. "I will not stand by when I can assist. Have they brought out any survivors?"
Balin eyed her warily, carefully observing the supplies, food and blankets.
"Not yet." he answered. "Thorin, Dwalin and Dori are in there now."
Dis suppressed the rising lump of fear at the mention of Thorin. There was no use worrying about that stubborn dwarf. He always jumped in waist-deep to help and there was no way to convince him otherwise.
"You let me know when you have one and my boys and I will take care of them." Dis's voice was strong and determined, her posture matching.
"Of course, lass." Balin replied with a grateful smirk and a shake of his head. "You're as stubborn as your brother."
"I suppose that's how you know we're kin." she responded flatly. Balin gazed at her for a moment, his eyes sparkling.
"Thank you, Dis." Balin muttered before returning to the watch at the mouth of the mines. Dis did her own watching from a distance, her eyes careful and sure.
"Is that were Uncle is?" Kili asked, turning to Fili.
"Yes, he's in there." Fili replied. "He'll be okay."
"Of course he will. He's Uncle!" Kili cheered, throwing both his fists in the air. "And he'll pull all those other dwarves out too. Singlehandedly. With the other hand tied behind his back."
Fili giggled, his spirits lifted by his brother's enthusiasm. Kili always had a way with happy moods. He could summon one with a single grin.
"With his eyes closed." Fili snickered, temporarily forgetting the dark cloud of worry that wound like a haze through the air. Kili nodded vigorously, glancing at the mouth of the mines. He watched it with curiosity, his eyes bright.
"Mum, aren't dwarves supposed to be really good at digging mines?" Kili asked, all innocence as he lightly tugged on her skirt.
"Of course, dear Kili. We have a special way of reading the earth. But, sometimes, we get proud. We dig too deep or we think we can outsmart the earth." Dis explained, her eyes darkening. "We ignore what the earth has to tell us and follow our own desires. Mines will still collapse, despite the gifts given to us as dwarves. You cannot control a mountain, Kili. You cannot overpower the earth." The boys fell silent, chewing over their mother's words.
"Is that why the mines collapsed?" Fili asked quietly.
"I don't think this was so much about pride, little one." Dis sighed. "I think in this instance, dwarves took risks to help our community. Our mining and forging are what we are known for. It's much of what our community relies on for income. Our miners took a chance to make sure that we have money flowing through the settlement. While Uncle Thorin and Mr. Dwalin make enough business outside of town, they wouldn't be able to bring in the money we need by themselves. We owe a lot to our miners for all their hard work."
"Is that why Uncle wants to help them?" Kili asked, his expression serious as he digested his mother's somber words.
"Uncle Thorin helps because he cares about all the dwarves in our settlement. He would be no less eager to aid Mr. Balin if he needed help."
Dis combed her fingers through Kili's hair, trying to tame the mess of tangles. While Thorin was much more like Fili as a child, his hair had the same knots and twists as Kili's. Although, he was not as sensitive as Fili. Thorin had always been fierce in his own right when the situation called for it. Something like right now.
Dis suddenly became alert as shouts and yells echoed into the gray sky. Dwarves rushed to the entrance of the mines, arms reached out to offer assistance.
"Grab some blankets and food." she commanded, her boys springing into action immediately. They approached the entrance, Dis peering into the crowd. Her eyes caught onto two dirty dwarves, smeared with filth and grime. Knowing just what to do, Fili ran forward with blankets in hand, carefully draping the cloth over the miners and leading them out of the throng. Kili offered up food without being asked, immediately falling into his task. Dis began to wonder why she was there at all until she saw a drip of blood on one grimy forehead. Quickly, she motioned them over to where they had left their supplies and checked them over for injuries. Neither of them had been too banged up; they were mostly winded and tired. Dis had nothing but small cuts and bruises to treat.
"Thank you, m'lady." one huffed, coughing a little. "You are as kind as your brother."
"I ought to do my share." she chuckled, carefully cleaning a scrape on his cheek.
"I admit I was surprised to see the king pull me out."
Dis smiled at the dwarf, quietly rummaging through her supplies for a proper bandage.
"Why's that?" she asked, carefully applying the bright white to his injury.
"I suppose I did not expect the king to put himself in danger like that." the dwarf admitted, looking almost bashful. Dis's smile faltered a little. Yes, kings ran into battle to show their bravery. Sometimes they ran off on long, arduous adventures to show their commitment. But Thorin was a king of a different kind. He walked on the battlefield to protect. He left on journeys to ensure the safety and comfort of his people. Thorin dug through collapsed mineshafts to save any dwarf he could find.
"Thorin doesn't see it as danger. He sees it as dwarves in need. For as long as he is able-bodied, he will not refuse a chance to help." she replied.
"Uncle says we should always help when we can." Kili explained cheerfully, offering the dwarf some water he and Fili fetched from the well. The dwarf thanked them as he took the cup, gulping heavily.
"He is a good dwarf, your uncle." he sighed, putting his cup down. Kili swiftly refilled it.
"One of the best." Fili said with a smile.
Dis brightened at the faith her boys had in her brother. Thorin had been such a wonderful example to them. Surely, her brother was one epic knot of worry for her. But she could not deny that she swelled with pride at the dwarf he was. He had such honor and respect, that she could never think poorly of him. She couldn't ask him to change, even if it helped her sleep better some nights.
She shook her thoughts away as she focused on the survivors and her task at hand.
The rescue began to sink deep into the night. Other survivors had been found while some dwarves were not so lucky. Blankets covered the deceased respectfully as they were lined up neatly. Still, no sign of Thorin. Dwalin and Dori had resurfaced every now and then if only for a minute, but without their king.
Kili and Fili had grown weary once the sky had flushed dark, falling asleep on a lush patch of grass with one of the rescue blankets. Their soft breathing did nothing to calm Dis's fluttering heart. She could only imagine how hard Thorin was working in that mountain. Dwalin and Dori seemed exhausted as it were and they had still taken short breaks to fetch water. Besides, she knew how much it hurt her brother to see such loyal dwarves lose their lives. Fortunately, there had been much less than expected, but that wouldn't be what Thorin was thinking about. He probably thought that any lost dwarf was too many. Dis knew the thought of the dead would push him harder.
She tried to distract herself by fully immersing herself in the work. Dis offered food and water and patched up any scratch she could find. Other dwarves joined her in her effort, watching over some of the survivors as she left to attend others. Bofur and Bombur had even brought some warm stew to hand out to any and all. Even when she was neck deep in work, the burden of the event was still heavy. Nothing could distract her from the neat line of covered dwarves. Nothing could keep her heart from calling out to their families. It was easy to forget how many had been saved.
A loud rush of voices broke her from her thoughts as she threw her eyes to the mines. Many of the rescuers that had milled into the cave were stumbling out, dirty and nigh unrecognizable under all the black splatters. Dis's heart swelled as she saw Dori hiking his way out, huffing for breath as he joined his brothers. She could not help the smile when the last dwarves exited.
Dwalin and Thorin dragged themselves out from within the mountain, each throwing an arm over the other as they supported each other. They were both panting heavily with the muddy innards of the earth smeared over their faces and clothing. They only made it a short ways out of the mines before Thorin fell to his knees, far too tired to continue. Dwalin did his best to aid his king as Balin came forward to offer his own assistance. With a worried gasp, Dis immediately rushed forward to help.
"Thorin!" she called, holding up her skirts as she ran desperately to her brother. She knew by the looks of him that he'd been working nonstop for the several hours they had been there. He'd pushed beyond his limits.
Dis quickly dropped to kneel beside her brother, sweeping the sweaty hair out of his face.
"You did it again, brother. You worked yourself too hard." Dis muttered, cupping his face in her hands. He stared at her tiredly, offering her a half smile.
"I'm fine, Dis. Just weary is all." he croaked, blinking slowly.
"Let us help." Bofur offered from behind her. He and Bombur moved to take one of Thorin's arms each and slinging them over their own shoulders. Dwalin and Balin moved to allow them room, Dwalin instead depending on his brother for the strength to stand.
"Can you take him home? I should finish things here." Dis asked politely. She wanted to follow her brother home to make sure that he was alright, but it was unfair to leave her job unfinished.
"Dis, take your boys and go home. We have many to help here." Balin urged, Dwalin nodding weakly beside him. Dis hesitated, glancing at each dwarf, each expression pushing her to return with her brother.
"If it's alright…" she muttered, looking at Thorin. He barely seemed conscious. It was obvious that the adrenaline had abandoned him, leaving him to deal with the effects of his hard work.
"Of course it is, Dis. Go home." Dwalin demanded hoarsely.
"Well, go ahead and take him home and I'll be right behind you with the boys." Dis told Bofur, her shoulders scrunched humbly. Bofur gave her an enthusiastic bob of his head as he and Bombur lifted Thorin between them and made for her house.
Dis was about to turn to go wake her boys when she felt Balin's hand on her arm.
"Thank you for your help, Dis." he said quietly.
"It was the least I could do." she replied with a sad smile as she glanced at the few blanketed bodies. Balin released her with a smile of his own, urging her back to her boys. With only a small hesitation she returned to Fili and Kili, walking past dirty survivors and some of their weeping families. Many of them offered her a nod of thanks, which she returned politely.
She was almost relieved to be out of the small crowd, exhausted by the events of the night. Dis had been so tense over the whole situation and having it all come to an end made her realize just how tired she was.
She kneeled beside her dwarflings, softly shaking them awake.
"Fili…Kili…" she crooned, smiling when she was met with sleepy blinks and squints.
"What is it, mum?" Kili asked, rubbing the slumber from his eyes.
"It's time to go home, little ones." she said softly, brushing blonde locks from Fili's face. "Uncle Thorin will beat us there if we don't hurry."
"Uncle?" Fili shot up as he stared at his mother.
"Yes, Fili." she laughed, helping Kili sit up as he struggled against the sleep in his bones.
"He's alright?" Kili mumbled sleepily, still trying to rub his eyes awake.
"He's fine. Just very tired." Dis explained. She held up a disciplinary finger as she gazed at them both with a frown. "That means I don't want you going into his room while he's sleeping!"
"Aw, your no fun." Kili whined, pouting a little. "He has the funniest face when you wake him up."
"I don't care. No waking Uncle. Understand?" Dis wouldn't admit to them she was trying not to laugh. She knew exactly what expression Kili was talking about. It was possibly the only time Thorin looked genuinely lost and confused.
"Yes, mum." Fili and Kili hummed simultaneously.
"Come on, let's go home." she chuckled.
Bofur and Bombur were sitting in her living room when they got back. They broke their conversation to greet Dis and the boys, Bofur grinning widely.
"Thorin's in bed, I presume?" Dis said, Fili and Kili immediately collapsing to the rug in a dramatic tumble. No one paid them any mind.
"Actually, he opted for a bath instead." Bofur replied, shrugging. "Muttered somethin' about you killin' him for bringing dirt into the house."
Dis frowned.
"What if he passes out and drowns himself?" she yelled, throwing her hands up in the air.
"Oh, well, lass…Thorin has a way of finding energy when, frankly, there shouldn't be any." Bofur chuckled. Dis growled a little. She couldn't argue against Bofur's point. It was a rather true statement.
As if on cue, there was the sound of a door opening in the hallway with the slow thud of footsteps. Dis nearly wanted to tackle Thorin as he leaned wearily against the doorway, completely clean. His expression was far too nonchalant for the wrath he should know was coming.
Bofur and Bombur sensed the tension immediately.
"We should head back. We better make sure there isn't anything else we can do." Bofur mumbled, jumping from his seat as he and Bombur rushed out the front door. Dis hardly noticed when it shut behind them.
"You look like you're going to fall down." Dis sighed heavily, immediately stepping towards her brother to help support his tired weight. "And you should be in bed."
"You shouldn't worry so much, Dis. You'll make yourself ill." Thorin breathed, hardly giving a fuss as she tucked herself firmly under his arm and dragged him off to bed.
"Oh, like you should talk." Dis muttered, pushing the door to his bedroom open. "If I don't worry about you, who will? I don't even know how you survived without me." She glanced at Thorin, catching a soft smile on his face.
"Thank you, Dis." he croaked. She rolled her eyes, trying not to give in to the softness of his expression. He had a way of making you forgive him, even when you were determined to be angry. Somehow, the smallest of his smiles could wipe away any of her arguments against him. It was frustrating.
She helped him into bed, thoughts heavily weighing on her mind. Dis pulled the one chair in his room towards his bedside. Somebody had to make sure Thorin stayed put and went to sleep. She'd never confess that it was for her own benefit. It was days like these that made Dis realize Thorin could be gone any day. She just had to convince herself that he was still here. He was fine.
"Do you remember…?" Dis mumbled, silently taking Thorin's hand in her own. His fingers were scratched and scraped: a sickening reminder that he was much more mortal than she wished he was. "Do you remember when we were just dwarflings?"
"Of course, Dis. How could I forget?" Thorin chuckled, a hint of fondness in his hoarse voice.
Dis blinked hard to fight the tears.
"Sometimes I just think about the three of us running through the halls of Erebor." she whispered, gulping to loosen her tight throat. "I think about when we'd sneak out to play hide and seek amongst the trees. I remember when you carried me all the way back home after I twisted my ankle playing outside and Frerin kept saying funny things to keep me from crying. You know, that was what we thought was one of the worst days of our lives at the time. You used to laugh much more in those days." Dis muttered, wiping away the tears. She only glanced at Thorin, seeing the very look she'd expected. He wanted to take the hurt away from her. He always did. "Someday, I'm afraid you're going to walk out the door…and never walk back through it. Like Father…and Frerin…"
Thorin's hand gripped tightly around hers.
"Dis, you know I will always fight to come back, just as father and Frerin did. Just as grandfather did." Thorin assured her. "I will not fall without knowing I did everything in my power."
Dis nodded, knowing full well that it was the truth.
"I just…I just can't stand the thought of you carrying your burden alone all the time." Dis confessed. "Grandfather had grandmum and his family. Father had mum and us. Some days I feel like you have nobody and you've had the heaviest burden of them all." Dis wept, brushing away the moisture on her cheeks. The silence sat in the air for a moment, tense and weighty.
"Dis, I've never been alone." Thorin muttered, his voice low, but firm. "I had you and Frerin when I was just a prince. Now, I am king. Frerin has never left my heart. He has never abandoned me. Nor have you, Dis. And your husband always stood beside me, even when I didn't expect him to. You don't have to dig through mines with me to support me. The very fact that I can come home to a warm greeting and a hot meal is enough. I have never been alone. Because you and Frerin have been there all along."
Dis swallowed her sobs as she sniffled and hiccupped.
"You are doing so much for me already, Dis. You've invited me into your home. You've cared about me. You've been there at every step and every turn. Perhaps I have the heaviest burden yet, but I have the best support a king can have. Because I have you."
Dis let her head drop into her open hand as she cried openly. Thorin could only offer a comforting squeeze to her hand as he watched her with concern.
He merely waited as she wept, knowing she'd want a moment of silence. Eventually she slowed to soft gasps of air as she wiped away her tears.
"You just do so much." she mumbled. She was startled when Thorin responded with a soft laugh.
"I do so much? Dis, you forget yourself." he chuckled. "I am not the one that constantly cooks and cleans while also raising two energetic dwarflings. Not to mention, you're always keeping me in line. You don't do as little as you think you do."
Dis smiled a little, looking bashfully at the floor.
"And, yet, you still manage to make meals for those in need and visit the widows. You're amazing in your own right, Dis. Don't belittle yourself and your tasks. You do much as it is." Thorin advised, smiling her favorite smile. It was the elder brother smile he had especially for her. It was what always told her that he meant it. It was one of the ways she knew that he loved her.
Dis grinned, not being able to contain herself. That smile of his was so rare these days. She stood from her seat, leaning forward to kiss Thorin on the forehead.
"Thank you, brother. You always know just what to say." she whispered.
"I only speak the truth, Dis." Thorin replied, blinking slowly. Dis cupped his cheek. There was no way in words to express her gratitude. He'd been there for her for so long. He never let her feel small, just like now.
"Go to sleep, Thorin. I'm sure the boys will be leaning over you when you wake."
Thorin smirked as his eyes slipped shut.
"I would like nothing better."
Dis held back her grin as she silently left the room, allowing her brother some much needed rest. She paused before completely shutting the door. She had the oddest feeling; it was a feeling she couldn't explain.
It felt like Frerin was right beside her. Like he'd never left. Almost like he was holding her hand.
Dis smiled as her mind whispered lines from her memory. Funny things. Memories of when Frerin was telling her comic stories to keep her from crying.
And Dis realized that he had never truly left.
