I make no apologies that this is basically just Edward and Bella-bashing...! I really struggle with particularly her as a character. This is actually the first chapter that I wrote of this story as I imagined how Bella would interact with a female Harry...how on earth that suddenly became the Harriet I have actually written who is legitimately crazy, I have not quite worked out.
I think I will later do a Jasper/Harriet story. I wouldn't start it until after I have finished at least one of my current stories as I want to ensure I actually do finish them all so I am trying not to have any more than three stories in progress at any one time. It would be considerably different and feature more of the minor characters such as Peter, Charlotte and Garrett.
Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter nor Twilight.
Chapter 9:
"So...you are Carlisle's son?" Harriet asked as she sat on the atrium sofa, throwing her feet onto the coffee table in-front of her.
The penny haired boy looked rather sad, "Yes"
"And you are here because you wanted to kill yourself?"
"Yes"
"...Why?"
"Because the love of my life died because I left her, I must join her in death"
"Hmm...not to be, you know, that person...but why didn't you just break your arm off and walk into a bonfire...? I, I just ask because it would have saved you a journey and all."
Edward didn't seem to impressed with Harriet's reasoning (it was of course brilliant but Harriet had long decided that vampires were about as illogical as witches and wizards) and looked back to the ground, running his hands through his hair, if he kept on doing that Harriet mused, then it was going to all come out... Not that it really mattered of course, after all he was here to have himself killed. It was then that Demetri and Felix arrived from their meeting with the kings to collect the boy. He went without a fuss which was dull Harriet mused, it was always funner when they tried to run...could living with the Volturi made her a little sadistic? Hopefully not...probably not...na!
Sighing slightly, Harriet went and received another lot of post from the door.
Dear Harriet,
It is obvious something has gone wrong, there are two Italian aurors in the city staying at the San Marco Hostel. If you need to run, go there to room 18, it is warded so no vampires can get in just in case you can't use your portkey, one of the Aurors' will then remove you from the city.
There will be representatives of the British Ministry in the cafe underneath the San Marco Hostel tomorrow afternoon at 3 o'clock if you need to talk rather than an extraction. Please keep safe and do not take risks unless they are strictly necessary.
Good luck,
Kingsley
P.S. This letter is charmed so only you can read it but please don't leave it around...
Well that was cheerful Harriet thought. They all seemed a little panicked, she wondered what about, her last letter wasn't too freaked out did it? Perhaps it was a little flustered but no more than that, they were obviously just overreacting, she completely had a reason to be a little flustered though so it didn't really matter. However, she did need to go see them tomorrow. How on earth was she to explain that she went on assignment to study vampires and came back with a vampire mate and a chance at living forever? Her main problem was now that she wasn't sure whether the Act of Secrecy was still necessary for her, she couldn't leave Caius, after all she was rather fond of the man, and technically he would become family and therefore exempt from the Act of Secrecy.
Oh, this was confusing, it was a Treacle Tart Situation Harriet mused as she reached beneath her desk to find the tin that contained slices of tart for emergency situations. Despite what Hermione said, she definitely not comfort eat...she just ate to ensure she had enough energy to think through the difficult situations.
Half an hour later (and over half a box of treacle tart later) Harriet looked up to see the boy being shown out from the throne room and if possible looked worse than before,
"Edward?" Harriet asked.
"Yes."
"Quick question, did you actually ever hear that it was your girlfriend who had died" Receiving a shrug, Harriet continued, "'Cause, when they said he was 'planning a funeral' that could be a funeral for his neighbour's cousin's goldfish's best friend's octopus...not necessarily your girlfriend." Seeing Edward about to interrupt, Harriet quickly spoke again, "I know your sister had a vision but she may have been, for recreational purposes, jumping off a cliff, I mean have you tried bungee jumping...? Best rush ever, I would jump of a cliff for some adrenaline, I mean why ever do you think I work here, certainly not for the dental plan. So what I am saying is go and phone your future daddy-in-law and speak to him rather than some random bloke you have never met to check whether it was the octopus who died...Capiche?"
Edward just walked out of the building...that wasn't very nice Harriet mused, she for once had given some decent advice and tried to be helpful but no, she is ignored by a boy who looks like some preppy lawyer's son. Whoever told him to wear those loafers was a moron, Harriet did occasionally listen to Hermione and Ginny's explanation of fashion and those shoes would fall into their fashion-don't category. Harriet shrugged, she wasn't wearing them, why should she care? So she turned back to her treacle tart...Whoever invented treacle tart decided an Order of Merlin...no...better than that a Chocolate Frog Card, they were a genius and better than Dymphna Furmage, all she did was get kidnapped by pixies, Merlin damnation the only person stupid enough to do that now would be Lockhart or maybe Goyle, how did she get a chocolate frog card and she, Harriet, the Girl-Who-Lived didn't. There was no justice in this world.
Harriet was lounging in her seat in the Atrium waiting for something to happen, Caius was with the rest of the kings talking about that utterly moronic, pre-pubescent boy Cullen boy, so she couldn't go and try to annoy/snog him. Seriously, what had crawled up Edward Cullen's arse and died? He was more melodramatic than Voldewhore, more self-obsessed than Draco and more pathetic than a drunk Ron. Spinning around in the chair as fast as she could, Harriet's movement was quickly stopped as she looked up at the clock and saw it was nearing tea time. So skipping off to the kitchen, Harriet loaded up a tray with biscuits, cups, saucers and some blood tea and wandered off carrying it towards the throne room.
They were interrupted forty minutes later from their very civilised tea (whoever thought that vampires who didn't have good table manners even after not eating for two thousand years was greatly misinformed) by the arrival of Afton.
"The boy-wonder decided to try to reveal himself to the humans by walking into the sunlight" he said, rolling his eyes, "He was prevented by the arrival of one Alice Cullen and one Bella Swan... Felix, Demetri and Jane are bringing them down now, they should be here in five minutes or so."
Caius snarled but was distracted when his mate shoved a chocolate chip cookie into his mouth, "Yes Caius, we know you have sharp, pointy teeth, there is no need to show us..."
Retrieving the cookie from his mouth, Caius pulled his wayward mate onto his lap and started rubbing his scent into her hair and skin, showing everyone that she was his. Harriet for her part, rather liked the treatment, she got good cuddles out of the whole arrangement, maybe being mated wasn't so bad, these cuddles were even better than Remus'.
Knowing she should return to the atrium once more, Harriet started to stand up but was prevented when Caius' hand pulled her back to him.
"Caius, I need to go. I get paid to work not have snuggles with you. Not that I really mind but..."
She was interrupted, "No" Caius snarled, "You are staying here where I can see you." So saying the blonde king promptly positioned her standing behind his throne, protected from anyone attacking from the front but still allowing Caius free movement if he needed to attack. Harriet rolled her eyes, whilst she was certain she would quite like to be dominated in...other aspects...this wasn't particularly necessary although she supposed she should continue to play helpless human for just a bit longer.
When the three entered three minutes later Harriet was ever so slightly confused. Edward was wearing a dressing-gown of sorts, there other vampire, (Alicia, Malice, Arabella...something) was almost dancing in, maybe to quote a certain ferret, she was training for the ballet, whilst the human was wet. Seriously, had she fallen into a pond or something? Or maybe this was her attempt hide the scent of her blood...whatever it was, it made her look rather like a drowned rat...ooooh, that brought up images of drowned Pettigrew's...she was definitely not getting sadistic.
Oh...that was interesting Harriet mused as the story started, the wet blanket that was the human girl was her vampire boyfriend's singer...Harriet would have said that it was weird for a human to knowingly date a vampire but she supposed she couldn't exactly talk, but to date the one who would rather eat you than anyone else in the world...hadn't Smella ever heard of Stranger Danger. The witch only just refrained from pointing out to Edwerido that she was right and Bella liked extreme sports...but that would be mean and Harriet tried to not be mean to people who couldn't handle it and Perv-ward seemed a little highly strung at the moment. Harriet decided that the name 'Edward' was on a par with Voldetorte, bother were very easy to mess with, Voldewhore...Edwierdo...Voldetortoise...Arseward... The list was endless and immortality would allow Harriet to explore every possibility.
Standing in the corner behind Caius' throne, Harriet looked around the room, taking in everyone's reaction to the oh, so sad story of love, loss and tragedy, really it should be a TV show, it could join the ranks with shows like Vampire Diaries, human falls in love with vampire, there is a misunderstanding, it is resolved, happily ever after, really Edward sort of looked like a less fit version of that Stefan leech from Vampire Diaries and Bella-Bitch seemed to have about the same amount of unresolved teenage angst as whats-her-face...Elena! Nearly everyone looked at the pair like they were morons, a view that the witch shared. Literally Edward seems personality and mental age seemed to have stuck when he was changed (even Ron was more mature than Edward was) and Bella had less character than a dead pygmy puff (they at least had the decency to look vaguely cute, Bella did no such thing). She had one facial expression, a minor cross between sad and shocked...what was wrong with her...maybe some acupuncture would help with the fact she apparently had no facial expression. Harriet did wonder whether she ever was like that but then decided that she was battling dragons, dark lords and the occasional acromantula, she didn't have time to wonder about stupid things like love at that age.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Bella's nasally voice directed at her interrupted Harriet's thoughts, seriously...that must sound even worse to vampire hearing.
"Oh I am sorry Bella, I am trying to imagine you with a personality…and find myself struggling"
The reaction was almost instantaneous as every vampire, except for Edward snorted. Harriet was quite pleased with that reaction so decided to continue her foray into stand-up comedy for vampires.
"Be glad Aro that you can't read her mind, likely it would be mind numbingly tedious and contain more self-centred thoughts than Caius!"
"I would have thought you were aware that you now take up the majority of my thoughts now, darling?" Caius said
Harriet glanced at her mate, "Try that soppy, sissy stuff and I will be out of the door in a flash, that Mr Darcy crap may work for Cullen and Swan but I swear if you start offering me roses and sonnets I will be very upset and on a plane back home before you cans say 'Dracula'."
Whilst the rest of the Volturi coven smirked and rolled their eyes at the interactions between the two. For his part Caius had been rather pleased that he didn't have to deal with an irritatingly pathetic mate (like Bella), and whilst it had meant she was rather difficult to woo as he wasn't sure what he could give her as courting gifts (read: bribery to get her into bed with him), Harriet's behaviour would ensure that the next two thousand years wouldn't have been as boring as the past two thousand. She was crazy enough already to cope with Aro, clever enough to speak to Marcus and witty and snarky enough to make friends with the guards...and she also cooked amazing food. Caius was drawn back from this thoughts of Harriet by that irritatingly nasal and monotone voice of the Cullen boy's human.
Bella had decided to attempt to stand up for herself (attempt being the key word here) "At least I know I am not going to be eaten by a bunch of vampires because I was late to work"
"I am afraid that was only a 4/10 retort Bella…I think I would be very happy if I was eaten by Caius certainly, at least I know then that I would die of pleasure rather than your hormonal nonsense caused by your 'boyfriend's' (and I use the word 'boy' deliberately as he is no man at all) desire to wear a chastity belt tighter than Heidi's jeans…and that is how you get a 8/10 retort Bella, try again next time, I am sure you will improve sometime!"
"We are waiting for the right time…"
"Oh god" Harriet moaned, "I am so jealous…of all the people who haven't had to meet you yet, why must I suffer your presence, what did I do in my past lives?" (Totally a seven out of ten retort Harriet mused)
Bella-bitch was now standing there mouth agape and Harriet was more than a little proud of that reaction. She started counting, waiting for the human to attempt to find a suitable retort, not that she would of course, after all Harriet had grown up taunting Dudley without him knowing and then verbally (and literally on occasion) sparring with Draco for the next seven years.
After eight Mississippi's there was still the spluttering that came from Edward's mouth was only matched by that of his 'dearest' girlfriend, "Women shouldn't speak like that, there is no need for such language." Edward complained, (-1/10 definitely)
"Oh do be quiet Edward, this is the 21st century... At any rate, Caius enjoys my dirty mouth don't you?"
The vampire in question smirked, "Yes I enjoy your dirty mouth...there are better places you can put your dirty mouth but we shall save those for later I think."
"I shall consider your offer my dear mate but anyway Edward, I would ask whether your arse was jealous of shite that came out of your mouth but I already know the answer as you are a vampire, don't I?" (Was that a six or seven out of ten? She needed to aim higher Harriet decided)
For some reason Bella-bitch started spluttering again, maybe there was something wrong with her such that she was unable to form complete sentences, Harriet wouldn't be surprised, the poor dear seemed to have used every word in her vocabulary in this meeting alone.
"Oh please, Bella, Edward. You are both wastes of oxygen, there is no need to waste even more by trying to speak." Harriet continued internally praising herself for a clear eight out of ten insult, "Anyway, Edward. Basically you are a drug addict and instead of drinking your Singer's blood, you have decided to savour it and keep it safe so that no-one else can have it. What is wrong with you, your father is a doctor, go see him and get a shrink, I know you are fond of those things in America so man up...! Or, you know, eat her...I know it would mean only like five minutes of pleasure but please, she is as useful as a knitted condom. If I were you I would eat her, you have vampire memory so would be able to think about it for a long time afterwards." Was she being a little mean Harriet mused, after all, neither Bella-bitch nor Doucheward seemed to be anywhere near her level?
"That is that, we are leaving" Edward yelled...was that a pube-squeak in the middle of that?
"Oh, do you have to leave? I was about to poison your tea, you seemed so desirous to recreate Romeo and Juliet that I thought I would speed along the process. It would at least save us having to listen to you two proclaiming your undying infatuation for each other as Edward killed you, Bella, or something similar."
Felix was in fits of laughter that didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon, "Please Harriet, please stop. We know you have an endless supply of these but please, there is only so long we can keep Edward from attacking you"
Here Caius who had been chuckling to himself, stopped and glared at Edward before storming over to Harriet and picking her up and sitting her on his lap, lightly kissing her exposed shoulders and necks.
"And Edward?" He asked, "Who said you could leave?"
There was silence for a few seconds as the Cullens' turned back to face the thrones before Malice (definetly her name) decided to speak for the first time, "Bella will become a vampire... I have seen it."
"How did you see it?" Harriet asked, "Are you a seer?"
"Yes", why ever did she sound smug? Tralawney was a crazy old cow, maybe it was a trait of all seers'.
"So you have had a vision of Bella as a vampire?"
"Yes"
"And all your visions definitely come true?" Harriet asked, rather suspicious, Hermione worked as an Unspeakable so she was now well aware of the difference between visions and prophecies.
"...No. The future is ever subject to change"
"So what you mean is that at this moment Bella-bitch will become a vampire?"
"...Yes"
"And if tomorrow she decides that she doesn't want to be a vampire, what will you do?"
There was silence. Harriet smirked, there was so much fun to be had in messing with people.
"Miss Cullen" Aro said, "May I see the vision?"
Pulling of her glove, the small girl approached, hand outstretched to allow Aro to see her thoughts.
Aro sighed as he released her hand, he had a choice. Kill the human and let the vampires live, let them all live or kill them all, "Caius what would you like done?"
"Kill them all." Well that was expected everyone mused, the chances of Caius saying to let them all live was the same as the chances of Harriet giving up eating Treacle Tart for an eternity.
"Marcus?" Aro asked.
"Limit their time, if after six months they have not changed the human then they all die." That made sense actually Aro thought. He kept on the right side of Carlisle, it provided a bit more amusement for everyone for the next six months (he could already see the bets that would take place if they allowed this).
Looking to both his brothers Aro said, "I agree with Marcus. Isabella Swan, you have six months to be changed and fake your death. If after that time you have not informed us of a change and allowed one of the Guard to visit to verify your claim then your lives are all forfeit. We create and keep the rules for a reason and you shall abide by them. We are already being generous as Marcus has informed me that you are not true mates anyway and it is unlikely that you will ever be. Harriet, would you show them out."
"Certainly, Aro" Harriet said cracking a salute. She almost sighed with happiness, she got another six months to annoy them all. "Follow me if you would, Malice, Bella-bitch and Edwierdo." Leading them out of the throne room and up towards the atrium they walked in silence.
"Why can't I read your mind, I can't read Bella's I know, but why can't I read yours?" Edward snarled eventually.
Harriet pouted, "Probably because I don't have a mind to read...probably for the best you can't read it..." Even Voldewhore hadn't tried to mess with her mind after Fifth Year, Harriet had decided to force imagined images of the young Tom Riddle in an 'intimate relationship' with Nagini whenever he tried. For some reason, the Dork Lord seemed to find those images...disturbing, Harriet couldn't think why.
Reaching the door out into the street Harriet opened it for the small group and with Innocent Face Number 3 said, "Thank you for visiting Volturi Castle, we hope you enjoyed the tour and please write a review for us online, any comments you make will be useful to improve our customer service and tours. We would love to have you back at any time and feel free to ask any questions."
(They didn't ask any questions which was a shame as Harriet would have loved to talk about the architecture, instead they all just walked out of the door without a 'please' or 'thank you'. Harriet sniffed, how rude.)
"Caius, you know that I am a genius, right?" receiving a slightly wary nod from Caius, Harriet continued, "I have decided that I am an evil genius...I filmed this whole meeting thing!"
Caius turned his head slightly, "And?"
"Well you know, I thought that perhaps the rest of Doucheward's family would love to see this whole thing...so I may have emailed them the whole film. That way they can see the whole thing before they inevitably pick the lovesick duo from the airport..."
Here Harriet was interrupted as her mate picked her up, pressing her up against a nearby wall and kissing her senseless. This is not to say of course that Harriet was an unwilling participant as she eagerly returned it.
Caius groaned, "Come back to my room with me, let me love you!"
Harriet sighed, "Sorry, no can do. I have to go shopping, I think this calls for a celebration cake!"
So saying Harriet wriggled her way out from between her mate and the wall and wondered off down the hall. Caius meanwhile was left forehead against the wall, trying to will away the tightness in his trousers, it didn't seem to be helping. He was seriously considering whether his mate was aware at all of the effect that she had on him. She could be seriously cruel, maybe she was just being sadistic. Not that it mattered, the net result was the same, Caius with too tight trousers and seriously considering whether Harriet could ever be persuaded into his bed.
Meanwhile in Forks:
Carlisle Cullen was sitting in his office with his head in his hands trying to process everything. After all one of his sons had decided to dump his girlfriend, then commit suicide when he thought she was dead, then his sister had to fly over to Italy with said girlfriend to play nice to the vampire kings.
"Carlisle?" Esme's voice filtered clearly into the office from the sitting room and the doctor quickly, worried that his wife had heard some new news. Entering the room, he found his wife and the rest of his children sitting there.
"What is it, is it news about Bella and Edward?"
"Yes, there is an email from Harriet Potter, you remember the Volturi secretary...?"
A minor part of Carlisle's brain was busy processing how on earth that girl had managed to survive nearly six months with the Volturi. The more major part of his thoughts was dominated by the fact that the email may be informing him of the death of both his son, daughter and Bella. Sucking in an unnecessary breath, Carlisle lent forward and opened the email. It appeared quickly on the screen and all five vampires read the email quickly.
Dear Carlisle, Esme and family,
I am sure you aware of the presence of two of your coven members here in Volterra along with a certain human. I can confirm that they have left the castle here all alive and basically unscathed. Anyway, I felt that you should see the events that transpired here so I have attached the security footage of the meetings that Edward had with the three kings.
Please do feel free to contact me should the need arise and we would be happy to see you all under happier circumstances,
Harriet Potter
P.S. How ever have you survived a hundred years living with Edward...he is a teenage moron of the highest order.
Twenty minutes later, four members of the Cullen family sat in shock, the video starting again on loop. The fifth member of the family, Emmett, was lying on the floor giggling slightly.
"I like her!" he said
"How is she still alive...wait...I know she is Caius' mate but how did she survive long enough for him to work that out?" Jasper asked, "I am sorry I didn't believe you when you told us about her."
Rosalie was smirking now, "Bella-bitch...Edwierdo...Malice...I rather like those names, they suit them all. I wonder whether I could write this Harriet girl a thank you letter."
Carlisle groaned, Emmett was enthusiastic enough, he didn't need Harriet's assistance and nor did Rosalie who was a total cow at the best of times. Why? However, at least his family was all alive, they now had to just make sure Bella was changed within the next six months, otherwise three members of his family would be dead. And she was Caius' mate so likely to be around for an eternity. An eternity of dealing with Harriet Potter did not sound easy...at least the Volturi seemed a little less uptight now... Okay, Carlisle admitted to himself, he was just trying to find something decent from a bad situation.
He sighed as he heard Emmett say, "Well you have her email address, why not just reply to her email, you can be pen-pals?" Maybe he should worry less about getting a shrink for Edward as Harriet had suggested and more worry about getting one for himself.
Sneaking out of the Volturi lair was easier than Harriet was expecting, all she had to say was that she was going shopping and she was allowed out. Caius' hadn't been happy but she had promised him something involving naked bodies and chocolate sauce and suddenly he was willing.
Walking down the narrow streets of the walled city, Harriet eventually found the San Marco hostel and the cafe beneath it. Ducking under the awning, Harriet entered the cafe and saw a rather large group of very familiar faces, sitting in deep conversation around a large table.
Walking over and taking the free seat, Harriet cleared her throat, "Hello, I know I haven't seen you all in six months but there is no need to ignore me."
Everyone turned to see Harriet sitting in a tight dress, heels and make up, Fred spoke first, "Even now it surprises me when I see you dressed up Harriet..."
"...Yes, she actually looks good when she tries..." George added
"...It is a good thing that the paparazzi aren't here..." (Fred)
"...So true, a picture of Harriet like this would end up on many teenage boys' walls for the next few years" George finished before the twins pulled their adopted sister into a hug. After Harriet was pulled into hugs by Kingsley, Remus, Ron and Hermione (and forcibly inflicted a hug on Sevvy) everyone sat down once more.
"We are glad to see you" Kingsley said, "Now, what can we help you with, if not an extraction?"
"So basically...I have a small situation which I need advice on. It isn't too major...
Kingsley interrupted groaning, "They found out about magic then, we thought your cover would slip eventually, after all it was you."
Harriet was insulted, "I will have you know that I am still under cover and they don't know about magic. Really, I hate to think what I have ever done to deserve such little respect for my skills..." she tutted. Eye brows raised around the table as they remembered situations like Harriet getting her head stuck in some park railings whilst chasing an escaped Death Eater; Harriet forgetting that her Disillusionment Spell had worn off and that she was sneaking around humming the Mission Impossible theme tune in full view of the muggles (forty muggles obliviated later...); Harriet giving Draco Malfoy a stuffed blonde ferret for his wedding present (it was charmed to say 'my father will hear about this' whenever anyone said 'Draco'); Harriet then dueling Draco at said wedding over the insult (the wedding cake ended up on Narcissa Malfoy); Harriet breaking out of Gringotts a second time to prove it could be done (the fact that no-one even now knows how she managed to do it, including the goblins, is another story, especially as she only had her wand, two screwdrivers, a bag of nifflers, a puffskein called Gary, a length of rope and some WD-40 and Duct Tape.)
Basically, there were very few reasons to trust Harriet, there was a long standing bet in the Auror force as to how long it would be before Harriet was forcibly moved to another department, for whilst she was the best duelist and dark wizard catcher, she lacked the...finesse and tact occasionally needed. They had long since decided that under no circumstances was Harriet ever to be the one to visit a family to tell them that someone was dead, she would likely give them a speech about the next great adventure before asking them about the Quidditch scores and whether they wanted to see a thestral.
Harriet was continuing in her explanations though, "I am awesome (as I am at everything else, mind) under cover. Anyway. Basically, you know that synthetic blood? Well. I thought, hey, could the muggle vampires eat it. So I made them treacle tart a couple days after I first arrived. Long story short, they liked it and ate it and I have been cooking for them ever since... We had a simply delightful Christmas where I worked out that vampires could get drunk."
"You have been making food for the vampires?" Sevvy asked in shock, really Harriet thought, was this too much of a surprise. She was pretty sure this ranked only at number twelve on the most-surprising-things-Harriet-had-ever-done list, killing a basilisk aged twelve surely had to rank above this.
"...And you didn't think to tell us...why?" Kingsley groaned.
"Well I thought you would be annoyed with me, but if you think about it, I did accidentally find a way to stop the vampires of Volterra killing a few thousand muggles each year... I think this deserves a chocolate frog card, don't you? Kingsley, as Minister, can you order them to make one for me?"
Everyone just stared at Harriet like she was the idiot. She had spent a long time composing the text for it, although she did suppose that now she had to change it, she forgot to mention she was mated to Caius and that deserved to go on the card, after all she was now going to be queen of an entire race. Oh yeah, Harriet mused, she should probably tell her friends (and Snape) that too.
"Oh, the other thing was, you remember how I sent you all that information about vampire mates?"
"...Yes" Ron said, still mouth agape as he watched Harriet still not quite believing his best friend at that moment. Only she would think, you know what vampires need? Treacle Tart obviously...no-one else would ever do something like that.
"Well you remember how I said it can take some time for a vampire to work out that someone is their mate? Well, a few days ago Caius worked out how his mate was."
"And who was it?" Kingsley mused, thinking that Harriet was only bringing this topic up to inform them of the power change.
"...Well me apparently!"
There was a heartbeat of silence before Ron, Kingsley, Fred, George, Sev and Remus started yelling. Really Harriet thought, it was lucky there were muggle repelling spells up, otherwise they would likely be thrown out of the cafe and that would be a shame, they had rather delicious tarte tatin here, maybe she should try making some for Caius, he was rather fond of apples. Just as she was about to take another mouthful, she was prevented by a shout of anger.
"Why are you just sitting there?" Sevvy roared, "You are sitting there eating your damn tart after telling us that you are now QUEEN of an entire species..."
Even the ever rational Hermione, seemed to have lost her composure, "You are MATED to one of the vampire kings?"
"Hmmm...yes!"
"...Right."
"Hang on" Harriet called looking up from her plate after the group who were suddenly leaving the table, "Where are you going?"
"We are going to go and talk to a certain vampire king." said Kingsley
"Why?" Harriet said running after them, was there time to go back and fetch the rest of that tarte? It was really rather good and it would be such a waste to leave it. Tarte/save vampires/tarte/save the Minister/tarte Harriet mused, at least there was some more Treacle Tart her desk should it be be needed.
"We need to ensure you are going to be treated well..." Fred said
"...and threaten him a little" that was George
"Or maybe a bit more than a little" added Remus, his eyes glowing slightly amber as Mooney made his presence known.
"Is this strictly necessary?" Harriet asked tottering along behind the group in her heels.
The resounding 'yes' she got made her sigh...it seemed like she wasn't going to have to explain magic to her mate, her mate was about to find out all on his lonesome. Harriet could only wonder whether she could move to Tibet now, being a monk seemed like a fine job.
"I think we should talk about this first!" Harriet called out after the group, she was ignored.
So, this covers the events of pretty much all of New Moon. Bella and Edward survive (for now...) in the next chapter, we are back to the Caius/Harriet story and the revelation of magic!
Please tell me what you think and if you see any mistakes...
Author Edit- There have been a couple of comments concerning the use of the word 'crazy' whilst I am perfectly aware that it does have negative connotations, it's secondary meaning is enthusiastic (the context I meant it in). However, to avoid misinterpretation I have changed the two times it was used, I will admit, it was a slightly lazy word use. I know Harriet seems a bit mean in this chapter, but I am afraid it was really done for humorous purposes, there is going to be further explanation of her character later when she has to explain her life to Caius. F200x
