Chapter 8...I'm not sure what to say. Yay? Did it in a day, so it may or may not be crappy...I actually think it might be a pretty good one...whatever. Some "coarse language" farther down the page, probably M-rated, but the rest of this story is too tame for that, so I didn't change the rating ^^ Enjoy, please, please, please review. I can see how many hits I receive for this story, and compared to the number of reviews, it's truly sad...criticism is very, very welcome!


CHAPTER 8

I don't know what I was trying to achieve with Tohru back there. Perhaps a moment of peace. Or something. Whatever it was, I'm sure that I didn't get it. But now everything is icy clear to me. I've been being selfish. Thoughtless. Visiting Tohru and scowling at Yuki while Haru is out there, in danger...school will start up again in a day, but I don't care. To hell with pretense. I have to find Haru, and I'm going to. With Rin's help. I'll get her help; I have to. If the two of us together can't find him and bring him back, no one could.

It's up to us.

I run from Shigure's house, my feet pounding on the dirt and breath ripping violently from my lungs. I don't run a lot, but when I do, I can get pretty fast. Stamina is a strong point for me, too. I don't make it all the way to the Sohma estate at top speed, but I'm still there within twenty minutes. Then I'm tearing inside, dashing to Rin's house. Slamming down on the door.

Locked.

Freaking goddamned locked.

I pound against it desperately, unbelieving. How could anyone be this selfish? Come on, Rin! I thought you cared about Haru! Don't make me do this alone!

"Rabbit!" a young voice snarls from the path. "Will you give it a rest?"

I whip around furiously to see Hiro standing on the path, glaring.

"Oh, please," I hiss. He's never seen me this pissed before, but it doesn't show. "Just—mind—your—own—business, will you?"

"You're making a racket," he retorts. "I doubt that Rin's going to appreciate that. Are you trying to look desperate? Think that your fluffy cuteness will have her forgiving-"

"Shut up!"

I'm running towards him, so furious that the only thing I can focus on is getting to him, grabbing his collar, yanking his face towards mine.

"Listen," I snarl. "I don't know what ever happened to make you so damn sure of yourself. But call me cute and fluffy and you'll be regretting it the rest of your puny existence. I'm done. I'm not sure what happened to make people think that my optimism is the only thing there is to me. But I'm allowed to have emotions, too! I'm a person! I'm older than you, stop treating me like an infant!" I yank violently on his collar, tossing him to the side. He looks truly stunned, but I can't feel any regret through the haze of anger that envelops me.

"What...who are you?" he chokes out.

"Me?" I glower at him. "I'm Momiji Sohma. Shocked that there's more to me than you thought, I'm sure. I try! I try so damn hard! And in return, I get looked down on!"

Hiro is still wide-eyed, but he doesn't seem to be angry. "People think you're just a kid," he states.

Yes!

"And they think...that you're too young to know love. That you're naïve."

Yes. Yes. "Who do you think you are? What makes you think you know anything about me?"

He gets up slowly, dusting himself off. A bit of the sarcastic demeanor has returned, but he still seems to be speaking honestly. "I don't. I just know about myself."

I consider stopping him as he turns and starts down the path, but decide not to. His words, the words of a middle schooler, have given me enough to pore over for the moment.

But I don't have time to, anyway. The anger's cleared up a little, enough for me to try for productivity again. I go back to Rin's door and ring the bell. Wait for twenty seconds. Nothing. Again. Ten seconds this time. Again, and again—

"Momiji! You're back!"

Another person to interrupt me, this time female. I let my hand drop to my side and curl it into a fist, trying to contain my annoyance, as Kagura approaches with a large shopping bag in her arms. She looks like a harried housewife as she shoulders past me and unlocks the door one-handed, blabbing the whole time.

"I'm so sorry; have you been waiting? I just went out to get some food and new shampoo for Rin; that hair of hers is a wreck right now. This isn't the best time for a visit, but-"

"I'm not leaving."

Pushing the door open, she tosses me a sideways look. "...All right, then, but could you try to work with me here? I'll work on convincing her to wash that mane if you'll put the food away."

"No...let me talk to her." I'm realizing something. This taking care of Rin, who Kagura has never been particularly close to, is to soothe her pained feelings for Kyo. She may not know about Arisa yet, but she's sensed that something's going on, and this is her distraction.

I follow her inside, and am surprised by the change in atmosphere. Though the lights are off, it actually smells nice inside, and the air is no longer stale. Kagura flips a switch and illuminates the room, which has been recently cleaned.

"I've been trying to tidy things up," she mutters. "She won't let me near her room, but the main areas might as well be nicer."

"You did...well," I admit. I really am impressed by Kagura's housekeeping skills. It's a shame that Kyo seems to have permanently turned her down; she'd be an amazing wife. Not that I have any interest, of course. Tohru would be better. Always.

Haru...

"Thanks, Momiji." She smiled a little wryly at me, and, for a moment, I catch a glimpse of the pain behind her eyes. Kagura is one member of the zodiac that I never really think about all that much. But she's here, too. She has a mind. She has a universe.

I'm jerked out of my reverie by her turning away and beginning to stock the cabinets. "Well, take the shampoo—it's in the smaller bag—and go give it a go. The best of luck, and if she starts bristling, by all means get out of there."

"Okay. Right." I peer inside the bag and pull out a cream-colored bottle with a lavender cap. I can tell that the boar has selected a very feminine brand, probably one she uses herself, before I see 女性のための絹のような滑らかなシャンプー written on it. Silky smooth shampoo for women. I think that my job just got harder. I painfully remind myself that I'm not here to convince Rin to wash her hair, anyways, though that just sends a pang through my chest. I want things to be as easy as that. I want Haru to be here, in other words. I want him here, so damn much.

That's the goal you're working towards. Don't stop now.

So I continue down the hall and let myself into Rin's room. It's as bad as it was yesterday, though the stink of vomit is gone. She glares up at me through greasy strands of once-luscious, dark black hair.

"It's you again," she says simply. "Fuck off."

I try not to flinch at her language choice, instead dropping the shampoo, which bounces once, and falling to my knees. I'm not backing down this time. I stare Rin in the eyes, then reach out and, despite her obvious revulsion, grasp her shoulders.

"Rin," I say. "You need to help Haru."

"I don't care about Haru anymore," she spits. "I've moved on. I don't need him anymore."

"Bullshit. Like hell, you don't need him. He's your life, mind, and soul, Rin, and you've obviously lost all of them." I stare into her dark eyes, willing her to understand. "I need you. He needs you. Pick yourself up. Regain your confidence. Get out of this dark place. Outside, there's sunshine. There are birds and sidewalks and kids laughing. There's Haru. There's happiness outside, Rin. Happiness. And don't you dare expect me to believe you when you say you don't want that. Because you're human, just like the rest of us."

"You talk too much," she snipes.

"Stop it. Stop it. Stop pretending. Nobody needs to know. We can grab a car, get out of here. Find him. Bring him back. Make things right. Okay?"

She stares at me with bottomless, impenetrable dark eyes. Eyes that Haru somehow manages to love, eyes that I can try damn hard to work with and relate to. Eyes that have suffered. Eyes that have loved and detested. Eyes that, at the moment, are glowing with the fierce, dark fire of her zodiac spirit, the wild, forever untamed mustang.

"Okay."