Disclaimer 1: That '70s Show copyright The Carsey-Werner Company, LLC and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, LLC. The 10th Kingdom copyright Babelsberg International Filmproduktion GmbH & Co. Beitriebs KG and Hallmark Entertainment Distribution, LLC. No money's being made through this story. Simply written out of the love for the two series.

Disclaimer 2: I have taken great pains not to reproduce any of the narrative from The 10th Kingdom novelization by Kathryn Wesley. The narrative (i.e. the words) of this story are mine with the exception that some of dialogue has been retained from The 10th Kingdom for the sake of story clarity.

CHAPTER 9
TEMPTATION

The iron shoes were orange and hissing with heat. Blabberwort pulled them from the fire with a pair of long tongs, and Jackie shut her eyes. She prayed the Troll went to Donna first.

"Frying tonight," Blabberwort said. "Frying tonight."

"Get away from me!" Donna shouted.

Jackie opened her eyes. The Troll had gone to Donna first, but Jackie didn't feel any relief. "Don't touch her!" she heard herself say.

Damn.

Blabberwort paused in her steps. The shoes dangled inches from Donna's knees.

Jackie's head told her mouth to shut it, but her mouth was too much like the rest of her; it mostly took orders from her heart. "Her feet may be huge," she said, "but beauty comes in all shapes and sizes—like you, Blabberwort."

Blabberwort turned on her. "You think I'm beautiful?" The shoes now hovered precariously close to Jackie's legs, and she could feel their heat through her trousers. Damn!

"Of course!" Jackie flashed her most charming smile. "What Troll wouldn't want to date such a fashion-forward model of, um, Trollness who clearly takes pride in her... textured skin?"

"Hey, sis," Burly said, "you're beautiful!"

Burly and Bluebell laughed uproariously. They poked Blabberwort's cheek, tugged on her leather bustier. Jackie expected to hear Burn! at any moment.

Blabberwort jabbed the red-hot shoes in her brothers' faces, and they backed off. "I have never been so insulted in my life!" She lowered the shoes toward Jackie's feet. "For that, you get to dance first."

"Jackie!" Donna said.

Jackie pressed her knees to her chest. "Keep away from me, you uggo!"

"Flattery won't help you now," Burly said. He grabbed her ankles; her feet were being pulled towards the shoes...

Something slammed onto the floor behind the Trolls. A package, shoddily wrapped in newspaper, had been thrown from the balcony. A present? Despite her perilous situation, Jackie wondered what was inside.

The red-hot shoes clattered to the ground. Blabberwort had loosened her grip on the tongs and rushed to the package with her brothers. A card was tied to it with some twine.

"Listen to this," Burly said. He tore the card from the package. "A present for the strongest, most badass Troll."

Badass?

Jackie's breath caught in her throat, but she wouldn't allow herself the luxury of hope right now. The Trolls were all distracted, so she looked over at Donna. She was trying to pull free of the metal cuffs attached to the chair. Jackie started to do the same.

"Oh, you know what it smells like?" Burly said.

The three Trolls bent down and sniffed, as if the package contained one of Mrs. Forman's pies. "Leather!" they said as one.

"Shoes!" Bluebell went to pick up the package, but Burly tossed the smallest Troll backwards.

"Wait," Blabberwort said. "It could be boots."

Burly put his foot next to the package. "And my size by the look of things." He knelt down to rip off the newspaper wrapping.

Blabberwort smashed the fire tongs down on his skull. With a weak grunt, Burly crumpled to the ground. He didn't move again.

"They're mine!" Bluebell lunged for the package, but Blabberwort got to it at the same time. "It's a present for me, and you know it."

"No, they're mine!" Blabberwort shouted.

"Mine!"

Jackie and Donna kept tugging at their bonds. Blabberwort and Bluebell were slapping each other, but then Blabberwort shoved Bluebell back.

"Look," she said, "let's spin a coin to decide who gets them."

The Trolls turned away from each other, and Bluebell didn't quite search in his pocket, and Blabberwort didn't quite search in her leather pouch. They jerked their arms around, and Troll fists collided with Troll faces. Blabberwort and Bluebell dropped to the floor with a thump, unconscious.

Idiots.

"Oh, thank God," Donna said. "They're dumber than Kelso."

Jackie's heart was thundering in her ears. The stupid antics of the Trolls had distracted her from it until now. "Donna, can you get loose?" she said.

"No, but we'd better. The Troll King's going to..." Donna went silent.

Something—no, someone had landed on the balcony. A tattered curtain kept Jackie from seeing who it was.

"If you get any closer, I'll bite you!" she said.

"Wouldn't be the first time."

That voice, she knew it far too well.

"Hyde?" Donna said. "I can't believe you found us!"

"All chained up huh?" Steven stepped in front of them and clutched his belt buckle. "If we were anywhere else, I could totally get into this." He went to Donna's chair first, Donna's, and flipped a latch underneath the arm. The metal cuffs clicked, but he had to pry them open.

"Thank you, Hyde." Donna jumped to her feet and flexed her fingers a few times. "Are Eric and—"

"Later." Steven walked over to Jackie. She hadn't felt this happy to see him since...

Too long.

His fingertips brushed her wrists as he freed her from the cuffs. The skin all up her arm prickled, and she hated that his brief, indifferent touch could create such a physical response in her. She stood and rubbed her wrists, but the feeling had already seeped inside.

"Jackie, get your shoes on!" Donna slid Jackie's four-inch heels across the floor. "We have to get out of here. The Troll King's going to show up any second."

"Troll King?" Steven said. "Man, this place is loonier than my cousin Pete, and he's in the looney bin." He moved onto the balcony. "We're gonna have to climb back down."

Jackie had slipped on her heels, but she barely heard what Steven said. The Troll King's golden shoes were glittering in the shoe closet. She went to them. "Those tacky shoes... they made him invisible."

"Hey, we don't have time for you to screw around," Donna said from the balcony.

"But they made him invisible." Jackie began to feel giddy. She picked up the Trolls' leather knapsack, the one that had contained the boombox.

"Jackie, quit touching weird things and haul ass," Steven said.

Jackie glanced back at the balcony. "You never complained when I touched you, and you're the weirdest thing of all."

"Yeah, yeah. Nice burn. Now move it."

She ignored him and grabbed the shoes.

"Someone's coming down the hall." Donna rushed back into the room and yanked Jackie onto the balcony, all before Jackie could slip on the shoes.

Steven held out a thick vine—was that how he'd gotten up here?—and gestured for Jackie to take it.

She scoffed. "I don't think so."

Heavy, clomping footfalls changed her mind. She put the Troll King's shoes into the knapsack. Then she snatched the vine from Steven's hands and slid down it like a fireman's pole. Within moments, Donna landed next to her. Steven hit the ground barely ten seconds later.

They were outside the castle. Two Troll guards tore out of the portcullis and charged in their direction. Jackie wanted to wear those shoes so badly, but Steven gave her a little push toward the crumbling road.

"Where are we going?" Jackie said. The three of them were hurtling down the hill.

Steven jumped over a chunk of rock. "Where do you think? Back to prison."

She would have stopped right there, but the Trolls' shouts convinced her otherwise. "I don't want to go to that prison."

"Tough shit. That's where the mirror is, and Forman's probably stuck in a jail cell with Kelso and Fez."

"Oh, my God," Donna said. "Hyde, you left them?"

"What did you want him to do, Donna? Let our—" feet get burnt to a crisp? But Jackie clamped her mouth shut before she said anything more. Considering Steven's attitude, one question was all the defending he deserved.

They finally reached the overgrown grass, but the road from there led in two directions. One path followed the river, was well-lit by sun and clear of debris. The other road went through a forest. Jackie didn't like nature, especially when it was ugly—and this forest was ugly. Some of its trees were like the ones in Mount Hump Park. Regular, boring. But others were disgusting things that rose from the ground like giant, branching asparagus spears. The tops of them disappeared into black, thundering clouds.

Donna, of course, stepped toward the forest. "I totally know what those are," she said. "Those are beanstalks."

"Those aren't stocks," Jackie said. "Those are plants. You can't buy or sell those."

"Not 'stocks'. Stalks. Like 'Jack and the Beanstalk'? And you can buy plants at the Piggly Wiggly."

"Whatever." Jackie started for the nice, well-lit path. "Let's keep going."

Donna held her back. "We better go this way." She pointed to the forest. "The stories I've read all say Trolls have a good sense of smell. Going through there might throw them off our trail."

"N'uh-uh," Jackie said. "No one who stinks as badly as those Trolls can possibly have a good sense of smell. They'd be vomiting all over themselves."

"Hyde," Donna put her hand on Steven's shoulder, and he didn't seem to mind, "are you with me on this?"

"Sure. Can't be worse than the bathroom at Fatso Burger."

Jackie crossed her arms. "I'm not going in there."

"Enjoy being Troll food," he said and headed for the forest.

"See ya." Donna walked with him.

Jackie stood there for a moment, staring at their shrinking backs. She waited for them to turn around, but they didn't. They kept on going. How could he—they just leave her like that, without even a peek behind them? She groaned and gave in. Her hair was already rife with Troll-sweat. How much worse could it get?


Forests were such easy places to get lost, but Steven had led them through this one pretty well so far. That was one thing Jackie had always admired about him, that he could be put in any situation and find his way through it. Unless, of course, the situation involved questions about marriage or the future. Then he was completely lost.

Jackie's breath left her in white puffs. The forest was cold and thick with mist. Lightning crackled at the top of the beanstalks while deep moans thundered from the clouds. Did actual Giants live in those clouds? She ached to put on the Troll King's shoes. They were just in the knapsack...

"Hey, check it out." Donna stopped them at a statue. It was nearly as tall as one of the beanstalks and depicted a man carrying an axe. She read the inscription on the base. "Brave Jack."

"Jack and the Beanstalk?" Steven sounded annoyed.

"You know what I think?" Donna said. "I think the beanstalks are, like, weeds or pollution. I mean, look at this place."

Jackie didn't care. She slipped behind the statue and took off the knapsack. No one seemed to notice.

"Makes sense why the Trolls are so pissed off," Steven said. "They got shit for a kingdom, and it smells like Edna's green-bean surprise."

Jackie, finally, put on the shoes and watched in awe as her body faded then vanished completely. The giddiness she'd felt merely looking at the shoes increased ten-fold.

"Jackie, can you believe thi—Jackie?" Donna scrunched her face in confusion.

Jackie almost squealed in delight but clapped an invisible hand over her invisible mouth.

"Where'd she go?" Donna walked completely around the statue. "She was right here."

"She's just getting back at us for pretending to ditch her," Steven said.

Pretending? Jackie scowled though he couldn't see it. For pretending, it had seemed pretty real when they'd left her standing alone on that forked path. And even if they hadn't intended to abandon her, who was Steven trying to fool? He'd ditched her months ago. Except for the occasional burn, he seemed to enjoy pretending she was invisible.

But now she really was invisible, and it made her feel like she was in the circle. She wanted to laugh in Steven's face. He didn't miss her when she was around, but with these shoes...

She was going to learn exactly how he felt when she wasn't around.


Hyde had wanted Jackie to disappear for a long time, but not like this. He'd just wanted her not to show up in the basement or his store or The Hub—or anywhere else he might ever go. He knew that wasn't going to happen, so he'd tuned her out until her presence no longer pissed him off. If he didn't listen, he couldn't hear the bullshit in her voice. If he didn't look, he couldn't see the bullshit in her eyes, and—she'd had to put on those damn shoes. They weren't in safe territory, man. The moans booming down from the beanstalks sounded hungry.

Unlike Donna, he suppressed every impulse to shout Jackie's name. He searched the forest for hints of her instead: a swaying branch, the sound of crunching leaves. But she was being real quiet, probably watching him, waiting to see what he'd do.

Donna's voice grew more frantic as the Jackie-less seconds wore on. If one of those Giants heard her...

"Hey, Donna, pipe down," he said. "Don't wake the hungry hippos."

She must have gotten his meaning because she lowered the volume.

Hyde leaned back against a beanstalk and laced his fingers behind his head. He wasn't going to play this game. Actually, the break was kind of nice. Chasing those Trolls had tired him out more than he realized. His eyes started to drift closed, but a flicker of golden light opened them again. The light exploded into silent rainbow fireworks, and when they faded away, Jackie was standing in front of him.

She pouted at the sight of her own hand. "Damn."

"Nice trick," Hyde said. "Too bad it wasn't permanent."

Donna had gone up ahead. She was still calling Jackie's name, but another minute of worry wouldn't kill her. He grasped Jackie's wrist. They needed to clear things up, establish some ground rules.

"You can't have them!" she said.

He twisted sideways, avoiding the expected kick to his shin. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"The shoes. They're mine."

Her free hand clutched at the fingers Hyde kept around her wrist, but he bent down and tossed her over his shoulder. The golden shoes were crammed over her high heels.

"You mean these?" He wrenched the Troll King's shoes off her feet and placed her back on the ground. Jackie's eyes were dilated, as if she'd just smoked a fat joint. What kind of freakin' magic were those shoes laced with? He stuffed them inside his jacket so she couldn't see them. "We gotta get rid of these," he said. "It's only gonna get harder later."

He was speaking from experience. Three years, man. Should've done it in one.

Jackie blinked, and her pupils went back to their normal size. But nothing was that easy.

"You're right." She sounded surprised and a little repulsed. "I don't want them. They're tacky, and they made me feel weird."

"Donna," Hyde called through the forest, "I found her!"

"It felt great being invisible, though," Jackie said as they met up with Donna.

"Whatever."

"Jackie!" Donna shook her by the shoulders. "Don't you ever pull a stunt like that again!"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry."

A thunderclap shot through through the air, followed by what sounded like a drunken groan. Hyde signaled for Jackie and Donna to move it. He quickened their pace through the forest until they were full-out running. Signs were jammed against the bases of the beanstalks, and most of them read: Condemned. Mold. Do not climb.

"Hyde, wait," Donna said after they'd gone some distance. "I just saw something I have to check out."

He slowed but didn't stop. "Are you kidding me?"

"One minute."

"Donna—"

But she'd disappeared around a thick beanstalk. Hyde shook his head. Chicks. They were all nuts.

"Can I ask you something?" Jackie said.

He didn't look at her. "You just did."

"Do you still think I'm hot?"

His eyes flicked to her body. She was resting her hip against a beanstalk, and her violet jacket lay in a heap with the Trolls' knapsack. His gaze skimmed over the shirt that outlined her so well, and it moved onto her face. She was throwing him flirty glances.

"I'd do it with you right here..." Her voice was low and husky. "I still want you."

She pushed herself off the beanstalk and pressed her body against him. Her hands slid underneath his jacket; her fingertips inched up his sides and left traces of heat. He refused to feel anything while her hands slipped higher.

"You don't want me," he said. "You want the shoes. You'd do anything—or anyone—to get 'em back."

Jackie ripped her hands from his chest and stared at them. "Oh, my God. What the hell is wrong with me?"

Hyde shrugged. He'd had enough trouble figuring that out back in Forman's basement. Here? He wasn't even gonna try.

She put her jacket back on, but Hyde grabbed the knapsack and shoved the shoes into it.

"Guys," Donna came rushing toward them, "I think we better go. Now."

He heard the dogs' barks first. Then he saw the lantern light winking in and out among the trees. The Trolls had found them.

"Run!" Donna said.

Hyde didn't need the advice. He was already ahead of her, and he kept looking back to make sure both she and Jackie were keeping up. They had speed in their favor, but it wouldn't last. If they couldn't figure something out soon—if the Trolls caught them—they were all dead.