Yo. Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Right I've been getting comments that Sakura doesn't have the chakra reserve necessary to carry off elemental jutsus. I absolutely agree. What she is doing all the time is just converting her chakra to fire, nothing else. That is just a proper application of chakra control and I think she should be able to do that. So no she won't be shooting fireballs any time soon but she can make sparks. The Chunin scene was meant to be short guys…but ahh you'll see. It kind of ran away with me. Here you go then! A nice light chapter after all the dark stuff I was writing.

"…I'd give you flowers but I'd think you prefer,

Blood down my body from the "accidents" that occur,

Kunai once thrown are changed from the flight,

Glinting and dancing in the bloody red light,

Mesh may be concealing, dango might be sweet,

But we are shinobi: broken, machines, incomplete,

The Sandaime will talk of the will of fire,

A literal inferno on our funeral pyre-"

Anko's grip nearly splintered the edge of her desk as Gai continued to recite a bloody awful romantic poem to her in the middle of the reception. His eye had a teasing glint to it which told her this was one of the eternal rival dares and the tragic thing was she couldn't react! After all her civilian persona was prim and stern and couldn't go leaping over desks to strangle people with blunt kunai. She grinned showing all her teeth and was satisfied to see the green shinobi flinch slightly back as if anticipating his punishment when Anko caught up to him.

"Maito san." She breathed warningly smiling faintly, "You are causing a disturbance."

"Do you not like the tune?" Gai asked smiling, "Rhyming couplets if I'm not mistaken." The underlying meaning got picked up by Anko. Were there two of the sound nin? Did they threaten you?

She sighed, "It is rhyming couplets and while the tune is nice…I'd rather not listen to it here." Yes two of them, not now Gai.

"Gai." Asuma's voice drawled lazily, "Message from a talking turtle…Kami's sake is this normal or is this a bad day? Right it goes 'Save me'. Ring any bells?"

Gai cocked his head, "Ahh it seems my youthful students have worn him out at last! I must check on them!" With a last parting thumbs up he ran off considerately not leaving a cloud of dust behind.

"Wait!" Anko shouted after him, "Where did Kakashi go?! He dumped his goddamn paperwork with me!"

His answer was lost in the wind and leaves. She sighed. "Sarutobi san." She nodded at Asuma. He nodded back agreeably but did not say anything.

The Hokage's door opened. Everybody went on high alert again. The sound nins stepped out closed the door like a civilian and strode silently to Anko's desk. She laced her fingers together.

"How may I help you Messrs Shinobi?"

"Tsuya Hosho." One of them bowed politely, "This is Jomyaku." The cowled nin inclined his head slightly. Anko nodded back warily. "The Third gave this to give to you." Tsuya handed over a slip of paper between two fingers.

Anko accepted it feeling under her fingers the coarse dots which told her the message had been unaltered. Glancing at it she raised an eyebrow.

"Of course." She murmured picking herself off her desk. "Follow me."

Tsuya glanced at a hovering Asuma and smirked slightly, "Let me guess your path just happens to coincide with hers?" He coolly dragged on his cigarette and blew out. "Aaah I thought Konoha was the nicest ninja village?" Tsuya drawled eyes hooded.

"Nice does not mean soft Jonin Hosho." Asuma spoke carelessly softly. His eyes however were as sharp as his wind blades. The two nin locked eyes. Tension rose like a fine mist between them as killing intent slowly started to leak from both Jonin.

"Hosho san." Anko cut in firmly, "If you will follow me. Jomyaku san?" Jomyaku turned to her and nodded holding out the door for a startled Anko.

"He's very polite with the ladies, don't mind him." Tsuya waved off. "Is the pretty receptionist going to show two Jonin around a ninja village?" His tone betrayed his incredulity. "Though it might be incredibly safe too." He added hastily as Jomyaku turned to face him and something burned searing hot where his eyes should have been.

Hah, hah. Spectre pushed himself with great difficulty to his feet and immediately staggered.

"What are you doing?" Naruto strained to follow.

Defying fate.

"Explain." Naruto ordered not wanting to waste more words than necessary.

You don't want to die. I don't want to die. The way we're going we're both gonna die. Or alternative is one of us die. Spectre gasped out. I refuse. I simply refuse.

Naruto fell to his knees retching up blood so his mouth tasted of old copper and the smell started to make him sick. "What happened to eating me?"

Ahh I think you'll give me indigestion. Spectre grinned weakly. Eating my own flesh is quite off-putting. I still want control of the body though.

Naruto went very still. "So our only problem is we have two minds in one body…" He spoke slowly.

It took you this long to figure that out?

"Baka!" Naruto would have rolled his eyes if he could. "What do we specialise in!?"

Spectre went very still then collapsed to his side grunting. Do it! Hurry!

Naruto looked around frantically. How did he connect his mind to his body again?

"Kurama?! How do I get back?"

Yell…Please amazing miraculous Fox God…send me back to my worthless human body!

"What. I'm not doing that!"

Well look who's on the floor coughing their lungs out.

"Fine…Please amazing miraculous Fox God…send me back to my worthless human body!" Naruto yelled cringing.

Kurama grinned in amusement before waving a paw grandly. Request granted little worm.

His vision began to blur rapidly. Red, black and blond all smudged together like an abstract painting and twisted so when he rapidly blinked several times he found himself face to face with a rusted metal construct.

"He's awake!" Cries followed his pounding head. "But his condition isn't improving!" Oh Kami would they please keep the noise down?

"Let me up." His tongue felt like heavy lead in his mouth and dragged his words into a slurry mess. He tried to sit up but the cold metal barred his path.

"Stay down Naruto." Kakashi's voice snapped from off the side. "You try to get up and say you're fine I will personally snap your legs and put you back in!"

Naruto stopped moving very quickly. The hidden relief, fury and irritation in Kakashi's voice would do that to anyone.

"I leave you for ten minutes." Kakashi barked stepping into his vision, "Ten minutes! And what do you go do? You go and have a seizure and leak blood all over the place. Do you think that is acceptable for a shinobi?"

Naruto retched up more blood as an answer. Kami he felt awful. Kakashi's face hardened.

"My hands." Mumbled Naruto, "I know how to fix it." He felt rather than saw Kakashi's incredulous face and felt despair. If he couldn't free his hands he wouldn't last long! "Sensei, my hands please!"

"Hatake san." The medic cut in firmly, "You disrupt the framework and the chakra flow is disrupted. He will die. Stay still Genin."

Kakashi thought for a few seconds. Who to trust? The expert medic or his time travelling student? Could he trust in Naruto enough to not let himself die? Or was this a reckless decision brought about by war adrenaline? He could physically see the enjoyment of a fight etched around his student's eyes. No…Naruto no…don't enjoy a fight. Don't enjoy war.

Recognising danger the ANBU medic intervened quickly. "Hatake san. He's getting worse. Out of that frame he will last ten seconds. Maximum." Naruto's and Kakashi's hearts nearly stopped.

Naruto felt very small and cold inside. The fact that now he had a time limit made everything a hundred times scarier. His heart slowed in his chest and he gritted his teeth. He didn't have time to second guess himself! Spectre was depending on him.

"That's a risk I have to take." Naruto got out between numbing lips, "Hurry! I can feel the cold now." Indeed it felt like chips of ice were floating in his blood stream instead of blood now. He could hear his own rushing pulse and the noise made him feel a bit heady.

Kakashi looked at him. Really looked at him. Noticed the determined scratches on his face, the stubborn tilt of the jaw and had to conclude no Naruto had no intention of dying any time soon. Before he could regret it his hand lashed out and ripped the frame immobilising Naruto's hands away like paper. The medics yelled in shock.

Naruto grinned savagely and brought both hands together shakily. Kakashi's heart almost stopped again. He and the medic lunged forward to stop the fool! Kage bunshin at such a low chakra state would kill him!

Kage bunshin.

A second Naruto appeared, bone white and shaking on the blood filmed tiles.

Get away from me! The clone gasped feebly waving a hand and breathing deeply on all fours.

"Did it work?" A voice whispered from the bed.

Yeah. Took over your clone just in time. The clone held up a hand to the air. I had almost forgotten what the sun felt like. It's so…warm.

"He's stabilized." A stunned medic from Naruto's side spoke in shock. "They're both stable!"

Kakashi gripped the clone by the elbow. Hey let go. Who'r-Kakashi? Kakashi blinked. Why did a copy of his student not recognise him?

"Bring team 7 back." The Hokage ordered to a shadow. The shadow bowed and melted back into the wall. He steepled his fingers and thought hard. This was worrying…if the bijus had parts that split off…then all the countries could restart a war to obtain more of them. Or call dibs on wandering parts because they held the original.

"Genin Haruno, Genin Uchiha." Came a clipped voice to a bored Sasuke and Sakura. "The Hokage wishes to see you. Where is Genin Uzumaki and Jonin Hatake?" They looked around for the voice but they couldn't see where it came from.

"Naruto went to hand in his mission report and Sensei got called by someone." Sakura hesitantly got out.

"Report to the Hokage. I will send the remaining members in a minute." Was it them or did the shadow get a little less dark?

…..

Iruka looked up from his paperwork to the irate ANBU.

"Can I help you Master ANBU?"

"Genin Uzumaki was last seen with you. Where did he go then?"

"Umm." Iruka leaned back, "Well he suddenly said he had to do something then ran off. In that direction." He waved in the direction of the bathroom.

The masked ANBU nodded in thanks then strode off with an easy grace.

Raising an eyebrow at the chunin blasting water jutsus at the bloody floor he tapped him on the shoulder. Immediately the ANBU had to block a punch to the face and one to the stomach. Not bad.

"What happened here?"

The chunin blinked then withdrew his fist, "Ahh a genin was found collapsed and bleeding a short while ago. I called his sensei and he took the genin off to find a better medic."

"Would they be Genin Uzumaki and Jonin Hatake by any chance?"

"Yes, but I don't know where they went for a better medic."

"That's fine." The ANBU said dismissively weaving a few hand signs, "Back to your post."

"…Hai."

…..

"Naruto and Kakashi are detained for the time being." The Hokage puffed on his pipe, "So it's just you. This isn't ideal but just answer my questions as best as you can."

"What's wrong with them?"

"An injury opened up Sasuke. They're getting it treated now." The Hokage blew out several smoke rings.

Sakura glanced at a confused Sasuke, "Lord Hokage…we were all treated at the outpost. To full health."

"Apparently you weren't. Now questions."

"Hai."

"…Hai."

Hiruzen thought for a second how to ask his questions that genin would understand and actually be able to give an answer.

"Do you think that your fight matched up with reports of fighting actual biju?"

"No." Sasuke stared him straight in the eyes, "We wouldn't be here if it was an actual biju."

"How so?" Hiruzen sat forward interested.

"Because it didn't have the chakra." Sasuke's lips moved, "It pulled off no jutsus, there wasn't any special ability and it just wasn't as smart as it should have been."

"There's one more thing." Sakura whispered, "A biju can't be killed."

"Yes." Hiruzen laced his fingers together not looking at them. "You did not kill it exactly. The exact explanation is beyond you but what you did was scatter it. Don't worry it's very unlikely that it'll form again."

He watched the blood drain out of their faces grimly, "That village." Sakura said hoarsely. "If it scattered…what happened to them?"

He was silent for a moment, "The Ichibi stands for hate." He said slowly, "When you scattered it, the hate which was collected in the part dispersed and settled upon the nearest living beings."

Sasuke looked like he could faint, "They had the force of a biju's hate acting on them?" He choked out.

"Yes…there were no survivors." Both genin's eyes went wide with shock.

"We killed the village…" Sakura whispered.

"No. The village was doomed either way. If you did not kill it the biju would have picked them off one by one. The only solution was to seal it and well…there are few of that calibre left." Hiruzen's mouth felt so old when speaking those terrible words.

Sakura's head dropped into her hands and Sasuke closed his eyes in a strange emotion.

"Do Naruto and sensei know?"

"Not yet."

"How can this be? Making a kage bunshin should have been detrimental." A medic shook his head in confusion.

Don't call me a Kage Bunshin. The bunshin snapped. I have a name.

"Naruto." Kakashi deadpanned.

Exactly.

"You're a chakra construct of the genin." The head medic said with a raised eyebrow, "This is the first I'm hearing of a bunshin demanding his own individuality."

Well I'm special. The bunshin got out through gritted teeth. Do I need to be on the verge of dying too before I get any assistance?

"You're a bunshin!" Came the answer as if it was obvious.

I'm also the person who's stopping him from dying. The bunshin jerked a thumb at the sleeping Naruto. I pop and he goes back to dying.

The medics stared at him in fascination and one beckoned him forward.

…..

Keep an eye on the boy…

Easier said than done. Konoha Jonin were notoriously protective of their genin, even Orochimaru kept himself updated on his past apprentice's progress. Tsuya drummed his fingers on the table. The woman had shown them to the diplomat's building and left them with diplomatic passes. He fingered his absent-mindedly, tossing it in the air and catching it by two fingers.

Sound was a relatively new player, they had neither the age old tradition of the Rock nor the ferocious reputation of the Mist and so nobody trusted them. It would be difficult to complete their mission…

"Do you want us to bring him back?" Tsuya knelt at the base of the dais. "It will be difficult but I will see it done."

"No." A cool voice floated down, "Observe him, I will take him from there myself." The sibilance in his voice only served to crawl over Tsuya's skin reminding him that the man was one of the most dangerous men ever to have lived.

A pained voice gasped in agony as the man smartly broke his collar bone. The coppery stench of blood attacked his nose as the slurping blood dripped down the steps to pool around Tsuya's knees. He ignored it as best as he could.

"May I ask, why me and not one of the others? I am an assassin not an infiltrator."

Hissing chuckles echoed. "Exactly. While they wrack their heads to understand who you want to kill I will swoop in and take him from under their noses. Who expects a rabbit to dress up as a wolf dressed up as a rabbit and sneak back in the hutch?"

"I am no rabbit." He protested.

"You are what I tell you to be." It wasn't a reprimand, more of an amused statement. "Prepare yourself Jonin, you leave at the last bell." A voice screamed as a Tsuya could hear a vicious ripping. He shuddered mentally wondering what on earth the man had done to truly make Orochimaru that furious.

"Oh take Jomyaku with you." The man's voice lazily called after him, "Before he destroys any more labs of mine."

He nodded and carried on out.

"Why are you really here Jomyaku?" He said out loud not really expecting an answer.

He got none.

…..

Kakashi stared at his now two students. The original Naruto and the clone had been given blood pills and another chakra infusion by the medics and deemed salvaged. But now…Naruto had a vicious weakness. If that bunshin popped he would go right back to dying. Why was it always Naruto giving him the maximum trouble?

"If you get popped can he remake you?" He asked finally to the bunshin.

Yes but please don't test that. It said warily.

"When will you run out of chakra?"

The clone scuffed his foot, A few days…four at the most. Kyuubi forced some of his chakra into me so I don't know for sure.

"Head for Jiraiya." Naruto intervened, "If you can relearn Sage you can absorb chakra from the surroundings to stay alive."

But I'll never be able to become a ninja if I pop on the first hit! The bunshin cried in distress.

"Become a ninja?" Kakashi picked up, "You're already a ninja."

"Oh Kakashi he's my younger self. Spectre meet Kakashi, Kakashi meet Spectre."

"Spectre? That's not Japanese?"

Yurei then. I don't care. Yurei gazed wistfully at Naruto. I got my own body but lost my identity. I call that a bittersweet win what do you say Aniki?

"So you would have been my student." Kakashi squatted to see Yurei in the eye. "You're different to what I imagined Naruto to be like."

Yurei stared right back. Good. He's a naïve idiot.

"Don't call your Nii-san a baka." Naruto scolded, "Sensei can we get him to Jiraiya? Wait he comes here for the Chunin exams doesn't he? Yes…you can see him then. That's only like a week away."

"That is manageable." Kakashi admitted, half admiring how Naruto had roped him into helping even though he only got an explanation a minute ago. "You'll need to reinforce Yurei though. Question is what do you tell people?"

Voila Yurei Uzumaki son of Kenji Uzumaki and some random Fire country woman. Oh may I pretty please have sanctuary because I heard one of my distant cousins is here. Yurei dryly waved his hands. He henged into a red haired boy the exact shade of the Kyuubi's coat from that night.

"You want to fool the Hokage with that…" Kakashi face palmed. "Not even a fresh genin would believe that. Let me come up with the story you two idiots."

Right. Yurei muttered sheepishly.

"What about getting a new perspective on my taijutsu so I know what to improve." Naruto offered.

"That could work," Kakashi said thoughtfully, "At all costs you have to stop anyone from knowing he came from your head. Otherwise he'll get mistaken for the Kyuubi." His serious gaze bored into them both.

"Kurama sensei." Naruto sighed. "Not Kyuubi."

"I'll call him Kurama when he calls me Kakashi." Kakashi muttered back. "Speaking of which I don't trust that fox."

Yurei and Naruto exchanged glances. "He is a bit difficult." Naruto allowed.

Yurei snorted. Try very.

A hawk circled overhead in lazy circles shrieking before taking off. Everyone's gazes flickered up.

"Is it that time already?" Kakashi asked in disbelief, "I swear it's early."

"Chunin exams right?" Naruto said frowning, "This is when everything starts to go wrong."

Ahh just kill who-ever is in your way and you'll be fine. Yurei slung an arm over Naruto's shoulders who snorted.

"I can't go around killing every Sound shinobi I can see."

Hmm good point. You're nowhere near that level.

"Don't you mean 'we'? We are nowhere near that level…you're cheerful now."

Yurei waved a hand. Well I have a body again! I can live my life…sort of.

"Boys." Cut in an amused Kakashi, "Let's go pick the rest of the team and then you're dismissed for the day. Prepare for the invasion and tell me details later, I need to go and be an hour late to the meeting."

Let Aniki go get them. I have someone I want to meet. Yurei disagreed. I'd rather not let the Hokage have any more glimpses of me than necessary.

"Change that hair back Baka." Naruto said exasperated, "You'll give everyone a heart attack from seeing me with Kurama's hair colour."

Yurei nodded and ran off. Naruto turned to Kakashi.

"Are you going to nominate us for the Chunin exams sensei?"

Kakashi snapped his book closed, "This is when Orochimaru invades and gives Sasuke his cursed seal isn't it?"

"Yes…if we enter that forest Orochimaru will hunt us down. I can't stop it, he's miles ahead in skill."

Kakashi smirked under his mask, "Well then there is one solution. I'll let you know as soon as I prepare for it. Ja ne Naruto." Kakashi flickered out, Naruto coughed in the resulting smoke. That infuriating man! Couldn't he ever share all his ideas for once?

….

Yurei ran lightly down vending streets in the heart of Konoha. He breathed in the familiar air and smiled broadly at the feeling of wind speeding past him. The disapproving glares didn't even faze him one bit!

"Slow down brat. You look far too cheerful for my eyes." A lazy voice mumbled from the shade. Yurei skidded to a halt next to Shikamaru.

Shika. He smiled faintly. Naruto's memories of Shikamaru had shown him to be a very good friend…insanely smart but loyal. It's very good to see you.

Shikamaru's eyes flicked to him lazy and hooded. "I would say it's good to meet you too but you disturbed my relaxation time. How did you recognise me?"

Yurei squatted next to an unrecognisable Shikamaru. Heavy make-up had transformed his face into a mass of wrinkles and sagging skin. His mouth was a gash in the face and he was draped in a musty shawl to hide his shinobi outfit. In all he looked like any other homeless beggar.

Why are you blowing your cover like this? He asked curiously. Why are you even like this? Your eyes are the same…wear contacts or henge next time.

Shikamaru huffed and shifted slightly, "Well your observational skills have improved." He moaned, "As for what I'm doing here? Maa sensei told us to go make a thousand yen each without people knowing who we were and being suspicious." He rattled the bucket. "Got 560 yen already and I didn't even have to move. Best plan ever."

Yurei snorted. Who did the make up for you? Why not use a henge?

"Any shinobi worth a damn can detect a henge and haul me off and that's troublesome." Shikamaru yawned, "Make up is far more discreet. Ino and Choji did it actually, I fell asleep while they were discussing shades and tones and brushes."

Choji can apply makeup? Yurei asked incredulously.

"Apparently decorating cakes seriously helps with makeup skills." Shika shrugged. "Where are you going?"

I'm going to look for the foreign shinobi.

Shika shot him a curious look.

Chunin exams coming up.

Shika pursed his lips. "It's at least one and a half weeks too early. Dad's usually run off his feet during the actual exams…as far as I know he's playing Shogi against my cousins."

Oh. Yurei frowned. That is…frustrating.

Shikamaru flicked a calculating look at Yurei from the corner of his eye. "You've changed Naruto."

I hope you mean the clothes.

"Like you're taking things more seriously…so troublesome. Go away…you're going to blow my cover if people see a genin chatting with a beggar."

Yurei chuckled and brushed his knees off as he stood up. See you around Shika.

Shika hummed and stilled as he had instantly fallen asleep. Yurei shook his head. What a guy. But this was frustrating…if it was too early for the Chunin exams what on earth was that hawk for? They were only used to summon all the Jonin.

Kakashi leapt through the Hokage's window to perch on the sill. Three ANBU blurred to meet him but their tantos struck sparks off the cement as Kakashi reappeared behind his confused genin with hands on both their heads.

"Maa have you been behaving for the Hokage brats?"

"Kakashi…" Hiruzen sighed, "Stand down ANBU. We have a door for a reason Jonin. I did not install it to look pretty."

"But it does such a good job." Kakashi returned innocently then straightened more seriously, "Jonin Kakashi Hatake reporting sir."

"Hmm. Genin dismissed." Hiruzen puffed on his pipe. "Kakashi straight to the meeting. No dilly dallying…I'll be along in a second."

"Hai." Came three voices.

"Is Naruto ok sensei?" Sakura whispered.

He patted her head to indicate yes. "If you see two Narutos running around don't pop them ok? I's quite important." He whispered back to them both who shot him looks but nodded. "You two are dismissed."

"Shall we check up on Naruto?" Sakura whispered to Sasuke after Kakashi had herded them to the reception and promptly disappeared on them again. Sasuke meanwhile was irritated. How many times was he going to panic over the dobe in a few days? How many times was he going to panic over Sakura getting killed in a fight? All the panicking wasn't good for his heart and he wanted to remain at full efficiency. Before he could reply they heard a familiar voice.

"Hey! Found you!"

"Naruto." Sasuke got out between gritted teeth and spun so that his punch met the dobe squarely in the cheek. "What were you thinking? Getting yourself in the hospital!"

"It wasn't my fault." Naruto got out rubbing his jaw. "Things just happened."

"What was wrong?" Sakura cut the chance for a fight in the bud.

"Chakra poisoning." Naruto said shortly lying between his teeth, "The outpost didn't have the necessary equipment to detect it."

"Will we have chakra poisoning?" Sakura asked worriedly.

"Na Ichibi's wind natured…so it only affected me. What's the plan?"

"We find that chunin then we go to the Uchiha compound." Sasuke bit out. Everyone stared at him. "What!" He snapped turning around.

No one said anything. No one had been in the Uchiha compound since the massacre except Sasuke…for him to offer was a big honour. For him to order was another thing entirely. Even Sakura hadn't dreamed about setting foot in that compound.

"Okay chunin." Said Sakura snapping out of it. Naruto kept staring. This was proof Team 7 had a chance in staying together. Sasuke hadn't even hinted at going to the compound in the other timeline…a smile stole across his face stealthily. He wasn't going to mess this up!

"Okay mission assigner chunin…" Naruto thought. "We could ask Iruka sensei?"

Sakura shook her head, "I peeked into the room as we were walking out. Sensei is gone…most likely to catch the prankster."

"Prankster?" Naruto asked curiosity piqued. He thought he had a good idea who it was.

"Yes, some kid snuck in ramen powder packets in the hot baths so now everyone smells like ramen." Naruto smiled half proudly and half forcefully. So the little brat was framing Naruto was he? He would pay.

Sakura and Sasuke had by silent agreement agreed not to tell Naruto about the village. It would devastate him judging by his reaction when Kakashi was prepared to abandon the villagers.

"I have a plan." Sasuke announced suddenly.

"What is it?" Sakura asked as Sasuke grabbed both of them and dragged them off to the side.

"We are going to make up a fake D rank and see who sorts it." He announced, "Sakura you're the one with the most practise at being a civilian and your chakra levels are low. You'll be the civilian. Tell me you have actual make up in that make up poison box of yours?"

"Of course." Sakura said indignantly.

"Good, do something about your hair. Naruto make her some stilts and a long dress to cover them. I hope you have good balance. Also Naruto make a clone with very little chakra into a small fly so it can go on her shoulder and land on the one ranking it. I'll have my Sharingan on to track its chakra and identify the chunin. Everybody understand?"

"Hai."

"Hai!"

Sakura ducked into the women's bathroom and expertly began applying make up to make herself seem older. It wasn't just flower arranging in kunoichi lessons after all! Faint lines were drawn in strategic places and by the end of it she looked like a mature woman in her late twenties. She ripped off the bottom of one of her dresses from her backpack to create a bandanna and that hid her pink hair quite well. Eyeliner over her eyebrows felt disgusting but it too did the job.

"Sakura! Catch!" Naruto tossed her the stilts and the long dress. She kicked off her shoes to Naruto and her team mates helped her onto the stilts where she wobbled around before steadying herself.

"We had practice in high heels." She explained to the impressed boys." Next came the long dress. Naruto had done it brilliantly. It just touched the floor and she wouldn't trip over it when walking.

"Put your hands together so the long sleeves hide how short they are." Naruto advised. Sakura did just that and looked in the mirror. A pretty woman in the late twenties stared back.

"Your clones and henge are really useful." She said to Naruto admiringly.

"Great. Now don't fall or sit down." Sasuke pushed her lightly to get her moving from the mirror where she was admiring her work. "Naruto the bug."

A small insect flew off Naruto's head band and landed somewhere in Sakura's folds of cloth.

"What's the D rank?" She hissed, "My name?"

"Make it a shopping list." Sasuke told her. "Anything…garlic, onions…"

"Name can be Tuya…Ichishi." Naruto shrugged. "Now go."

Sakura swept out head high.

"Excuse me." She called out to a passing shinobi in a voice slightly deeper than her own, "Where can I submit a mission request?"

The shinobi adjusted the sword on his back, "This way ma'am. I'll take you there."

Ma'am! Sakura fumed inside. She did not look old enough for a ma'am but it was good her disguise had worked. The shinobi knocked on a door and motioned for her to go in. Swallowing she did just that. What if he had seen through her and this was a trap?

She nearly stumbled over a carpet edge but caught herself by the wall. Oh Kami, that was close.
"Ma'am." An Akimichi chunin nodded at her from behind a desk. "You have a mission?"

"Ah yes."

The Chunin nodded and pulled out a blank scroll. "Name?"

"Tuya Ichishi."

"Address?"

Sakura felt her heart lurch, "30 Heartbleed Road." She gave her own so the mission wouldn't raise flags with a false address.

"Details?"

"A shopping for me." She rattled off her daily grocery list and the Chunin took it all down.

"That is a D rank ma'am. Payment is 1000 yen and should be paid beforehand." She nodded and forked over some money she had lying around. That was her pocket money gone.

"You sort all the missions you get?" She asked in vague interest. "You must be very good at what you do. My niece is a shinobi." She added to add realism.

"Yes…just me." He scribbled furiously, "Had a partner once but he took a mission."

"Oh is the work piling up?" She faked a wince. Her heart pounded, was it the other person who sorted their mission?

He smiled at her, "Not yet, these past few weeks it's been relatively simple to do."

Success. It was him. She couldn't repress a smile. She inclined her head, "Thank you. I'll take my leave."

He nodded, "The things will be delivered tomorrow. We'll get a genin team on it."

Ah. If Team 10 got it they'd realise Tuya was a fake as Ino would recognise the house.

"Is it possible to book a team?" She asked lightly.

He looked surprised, "Yes…did you have anyone in mind?"

"Team 7? Are they free? Only they did a fantastic job on my friend's garden." Well she should know…they spent ages in that garden.

"Erm depends on their sensei but yes I'll note it." She nodded and walked out wary of the carpet edge.

She closed the door with a snap smiling faintly.

"That was either a very impressive performance or a very stupid chunin." A voice drawled behind her. She got the shock of her life as her heart lurched. She turned quickly to see the masked Sound Nin from earlier leaning against the wall.

"Who are you?" She said sharply, "Surprising people is not polite Master Shinobi."

He cocked his head, "I can see right through that disguise you do realise?" She shot a look at his white eye quickly, "Not in that way." He added spotting her gaze.

Sakura scowled, "What gave it away?" The masked man was lean and gave off a very dangerous vibe but she was safe in her own village… She thought.

"I can hear your heart little girl." He spoke in a bored tone, "Fluttering like a caged bird. And your proportions are off. That chunin was just too polite to stare at you properly. If you are going to infiltrate at least do it properly next time." He glowered at her. "Move on. You've wasted my time enough."

She gritted her teeth, if he knew then he had leverage on her and she didn't like it. His eye told her he knew what she was thinking and he smiled sharply under the bandages.

"Is there a problem girl?"

"No." She bit out and walked away quickly so she could get rid of his penetrating gaze on her back.

She spotted her team mates in the reception and made for the bathroom where she quickly doused her face with water and popped the Naruto clones.

Naruto banged on the door. "Ready Sakura?"

She yanked the door open, "Yeah. Did Sasuke get the Chunin? I can recognise him again."

"I got him." Sasuke had a pleased glint in his blood red eye. "But question is there was another chakra by the room and you bumped into that chakra." He frowned quizzically at her.

"The Sound jonin from earlier." She admitted, "He saw through me instantly, told me how I went wrong and dismissed me…he's dangerous."

"Damn." Naruto whistled, "But he didn't say anything about telling anyone?"

"He didn't say anything about not telling anyone." She countered.

"It doesn't matter. We're not doing anything wrong." Sasuke told them calmly, "He has no worthwhile leverage."

"So what now?" Sakura asked, "We know who the Chunin is…"

"Prank his house so he doesn't know who did it." Naruto commented idly.

"Kill his whole family and make him relive it." Sasuke commented just as casually.

Sakura and Naruto both dropped their heads in their hands.

"…Joking."

"Right Naruto's idea seems the best."

"I have a way to find out his name and address." Naruto said cheerfully.

"It is a bit disturbing you're so good at this." Sakura told Naruto. Sasuke rolled his eyes. "What's the plan?"

"To the academy." Naruto grinned. "We'll need to sneak in though. Iruka sensei won't be too happy to see us…well me, he says we have a tendency to destroy his classes' attentions."

"The team photos." Sasuke said slowly, "That isn't a bad idea."

"I can recognise him as a child." Sakura said, "He was an Akimichi, I can recognise his tattoos."

Naruto grinned wolfishly, "I also know how to sneak in. Hah! Iruka sensei will never sense this! Come on! Hurry! We need to find that prankster…" He took off running, weaving between the idle shinobi who shifted slightly to let him pass.

Sasuke and Sakura followed him, not quite sure what Naruto was thinking, but having no choice but to trust him they followed anyway.

"How long has it been since Iruka sensei left to find the prankster?" Naruto yelled as they skidded around a corner.

"About an hour!"

A beggar shifted after Team 7 had sprinted past. Why did Naruto always wake him up? Grumbling Shikamaru went back to sleep.

"Right we might be in time!"

"Who are we looking for?" Sasuke roared.

"Konohamaru!"

"The Hokage's grandson?" Sasuke cried totally bewildered. "He's a prankster?!"

"Yup! He's my apprentice."

"Oh Kami." They heard Sakura groan.

"I taught him the quick ways to get around and I'm sure he's using them. One more thing about him…he doesn't work alone. He's got two friends, Moegi and Udon? I think?" Naruto explained, "If we can get to them first before Iruka sensei…"

"We can disguise ourselves as them..." Sasuke started.

"And Iruka sensei will take us to the Academy himself!" Sakura finished. "Not bad Naruto!"

"The only problem will be finding him." Naruto concluded. But it seemed Fate was on their side because as soon as he said that two Chunin crash landed in front of them cracking the concrete in a pillar of dust making them all trip and choke.

"Eww they're bleeding from the nose." Sakura picked herself up.

"Which way did they come from?" Naruto asked.

"Going from the parabola…" Sasuke muttered under his breath, "About 300m in that direction." He pointed and all of them took off in a flash.

They came to a halt panting where the trail of blood stopped.

"Is he here?"

"Boss?" A younger voice asked.

Naruto spun around smiling, "Konohamaru brilliant prank."

The boy grinned back mischievously. "Thanks Nii-san, we tried to think like you."

"Although…" Naruto cuffed him on the head, "If you threw away all the ramen just for the packets you're in trouble."

"No! We gave them to Ichiraku's!" Konohamaru spoke quickly.

"Good boy." Naruto smiled. "Meet my team, Sakura and Sasuke." Being around the boy brought out his playful side, it was refreshing once in a while.

"She your…" He wiggled his finger, "Boss?"

"Ah no. Just team mates, rather like you and Moegi. Where are they anyway?" He changed the subject hastily remembering what had happened last time.

"Ah she's too ugly to be with you, Boss." The boy said loyally.

"What did you say!?" shrieked Sakura. Sasuke stepped in her path quickly, "How would you like to miss school Konohamaru?" He asked quietly.

The boy shrugged, "Would love to. But Sensei is like a blood hound."

Naruto smiled, "Get the other two here. We have a plan."

"Hey! Get out here! Boss is here!" The boy yelled. Another girl and boy jumped out of adjacent windows.

"Moegi, Udon." Naruto greeted cheerfully, "Mind very much if we henge as you and you henge as us?"

Udon blinked, "Why would you want to do that? Hi Boss."

Moegi at the same time, "Why would we mind Boss?"

Naruto whispered as if giving away a big secret, "A huge prank on Sensei. So will you help?"

"Yes!" Came the answer.

"Double layer the henge with paint after the first henge." Sasuke said, "It'll be our excuse for maintaining the henge…otherwise he'll get suspicious."

"Got any paint you three?" Naruto asked. Udon handed over a small tin.

"Can they henge?" Sakura asked frowning, "I think they were learning how to henge a week ago and it takes longer than a week to learn."

"Don't worry Boss Lady-friend." Konohamaru grinned, "We're very good at henge."

"Henge!" came six voices. Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura found themselves facing their exact copies.

"Not bad." Allowed Sasuke before he got paint splattered on him by Naruto. Naruto hit Sakura and himself before handing the tin back.

"Henge!" went Team 7 and they looked spotless.

"Thanks boss!" Moegi yelled as the pseudo team 7 escaped through an alleyway.

"Play with us soon!" went Konohamaru. Udon was too far away to hear.

Naruto paced as Konohamaru. "Now we need to recreate a chase until Iruka sensei catches us. Be careful not to go beyond mid genin level." With a last look team 7 split. Naruto ran down a parallel road jumping over obstacles. Sasuke spun under low hanging beams and changed directions rapidly zooming through crowds. Sakura went up. She swung herself up and ran along roof edges jumping from roof top to roof top feeling the wind whiz past her. All of them scanning carefully for any sign of Iruka.

Sasuke spotted Iruka first, leaping from trees in a zig-zag fashion until the Chunin had caught up to a mildly impressed Sasuke. Iruka leapt off and landed expertly in front of Sasuke who had to jump over the leg which shot out to trip him. Gritting his teeth Sasuke stopped himself from moving out of the way when Iruka's hand lashed out to catch him by the collar in mid-air. Iruka shook him slightly.

"You three get worse every time I swear." He muttered before flickering off with Sasuke.

…..

Sakura meanwhile had almost crashed into a purple haired ANBU. She yelped and back away but the ANBU blurred and reappeared behind her and gripped her by the neck.

"Shouldn't you be in the academy?" Came a cold clipped voice. Sakura squeaked out a yes acting how she thought Moegi would act when facing an ANBU. Then leaves spun around her as the ANBU wasted no time in flickering to the Academy and handing her to an amused Iruka sensei with Sasuke in his other hand.

"Found one of your students playing truant sensei."

Iruka took her by the collar too, "This is what happens when you skip Moegi chan." He said half smiling, "You get caught by ANBU."

…..

Ebisu flipped over Naruto cutting off his escape.

"Did you think I would not find you Honourable Grandson?" He chided. Well no, he had been counting on it actually.

"Come along quietly or it's triple practise for you today." The older Nin threatened. Naruto knew Konohamaru would kill him if he was landed with extra work so Naruto nodded and let Ebisu flicker him to the Academy.

"Found him sensei." Ebisu called out to a very amused Iruka holding both Sakura and Sasuke above the ground.

"Ah thank you. Now Konohamaru in. And we'll talk about your punishments." Iruka's eyes gleamed dangerously.

After a blistering chewing out Iruka left the three of them to clean up the mess that Udon had made in order to distract everyone.

"This is insane. How can he make such a mess?" Sakura groaned sliding her mop over the ground.

"Forget that." Naruto called, "Give it to my bunshin. Come see the pictures." Sasuke had picked the lock and had taken out a huge pile of yearbooks with pictures of every single genin team.

"This might take a while." Naruto agreed, "But there's three of us."

….

Ten minutes later…nothing.

….

One hour later….nothing.

Two hours later.

"Him." Sakura said flatly stabbing at a picture, "Definitely him."

"Right he is a …Keikan Akimichi." Sasuke put the book down, "We have a name…now how do we find the house?" Naruto stood up wincing at the increased blood flow.

"Let's put these back and I'll tell." Together they carefully put everything back how they found it. Sasuke even relocked the lock using his pins.

"Right that's mostly clean." Sakura cast a critical look at the room as the bunshins dispelled themselves. "Let's go."

"Sensei! We're done." Naruto called. "Kami this brings back memories."

Iruka walked in hands in pockets, "Not bad you three." He smiled, "You can go now. Remember pop test tomorrow."

They wasted no time in getting out of there.

…..

"This is the Akimichi compound." Sasuke shrugged, "I come here every year once at least."

"That's nice of them."

"Yeah…"

A collection of cosy houses spread out before them with the wrought clan symbol on every one. Akimichis could be seen moving in the homes and the smell of food came from every one.

"If we ask where Keikan lives and later his house gets trapped…it's going to be incredibly obvious." Sakura pointed out. All three of them had dropped the henges after they left the Academy. Now they were crouching in trees over a seemingly empty side house.

Sasuke hummed, "Sakura did you spot a wedding ring on him? Think back." She tossed her head back. "No. There was no wedding ring."

"Ok…this might work. It relies on him not having a recognisable girl friend." Sasuke said slowly.

"Ahh Sakura don't kill me for this but I have a better idea on who to dress up as." Naruto said awkwardly.

Sakura sighed, "I'm going to have to put my make up on again won't I?"

Sakura stumbled on to the Akimichi property in her heels. She was going to bloody kill Naruto! She would rip him apart as soon as she finished this! Her make-up was smudged and it looked like she had been crying hard. If anyone looked at her now they would see a young woman in a long dress and very big heels. Taking the Sound Jonin's advice Naruto had after blushing made the dress to make her seem more proportional than before.

"Oh sweetie can I help you?" An Akimichi woman ran over, "What's the matter?"

Sakura pretended to cling on to the woman and sob even harder.

"Is *hic Kei-chan here *hic?" She was so washing her mouth out after this.

"Oh are you looking for Keikan? I'm sorry sweetie he's still at work." Sakura tried very hard to not burst into hysterical laughter and more into hysterical sobbing.

"What's wrong?" The Akimichi woman took her by the shoulders, "Did something happen? Did you get hurt by anyone?"

"*hic I just need *hic to see him!" Sakura wailed.

("She's good" Naruto hissed to Sasuke. "Very good." Sasuke whispered back.)

Time to start the hinting. Sakura placed one hand over her belly and the woman froze.

"Kami…" The Akimichi breathed. "You need to see the clan head."

Sakura froze. Crap. This wasn't in the plan.

("Ahhh. Can't believe I forgot that." Sasuke mumbled.)

"No! *hic Not doing anything without *hic Kei-chan!" She clutched at the woman, "Don't make me! *hic"

The woman pursed her lips, "I suppose I can show you where he lives. You have a key sweetie? And I'll need proof of your Konoha citizenship."

"*hic Silver Sheen *hic on the black pearl *hic lake." She gave the code every single civilian in Konoha had to know.

"Hell fire burns eternal in the dark." The woman finished far friendlier now, "You got a key? You're welcome to stay at mine until he comes home."

Sakura shook her head, "I'll let myself in *hic I need to go back soon…they'll be looking *hic for me."

"Oh sweetie, this way. As soon as you talked with him you need to go see the clan head, ok?" The woman gently led Sakura in the right direction.

A tearful Sakura nodded.

"What's your name sweetie?"

"He called me *hic Suki."

"That's a pretty name, I'm Hikari Akimichi."

Their voices trailed off.

"Success." Whispered Naruto.

"Let's just hope she doesn't wait to see Sakura open the door." Murmured Sasuke stealthily jumping down and sneaking under windows to follow the duo. "Thank Kami she wasn't a Jonin."

…..

Sakura stared at the house having persuaded the Akimichi to reluctantly leave. She wiped at her face…uggh now she was emotionally exhausted faking all that.

"That was brilliant." Naruto came out from behind a few bushes, "Didn't know you could do that."

"All kunoichis have make-up and acting lessons." Sakura whispered back. Sasuke nodded approvingly at her and looked at the lock.

"Are there any seals on it?"

"Yes." Sakura said grimly, "Too high a level for me to break. So I was thinking that." She pointed up to a smaller window. "Just a simple seal on that. I can break it easily."

"That is most likely a trap." Naruto whispered knowingly.

"Wait…are you telling me every time he comes home he has to undo all the seals?" Sasuke waved at the door, "There's no way he'll do that."

"Well no." Sakura admitted, "The seals are linked to the tumblers. If the tumblers aren't moved at the same time then the seals go off…I think. Which is tricky with lock picks."

"That's tricky even with a key!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Chakra lock." Sakura shrugged. Naruto froze…wait. No…it couldn't be that simple. He pulled off his backpack, rummaged in it for a small exploding tag and primed it. He shoved it in the key hole and pulled the other two back.

"That is the most inventive way I've heard of to get around a chakra lock." Sasuke blinked, "To shove an exploding tag in the key hole."

There was a muffled bang and the door swung open.

…..

They had fun in the house.

Naruto unscrewed nearly every single bolt and made sure to make them look secure. He sawed neatly through several chair legs so they would collapse when sat on. All the cushions had hunks of meat shoved inside from the pantry. Sasuke messed with the pipes, by mixing and matching screws and cogs he was able to do some very interesting things to the water works eg a tsunami when the toilet was flushed. Sakura was in the kitchen; swapping labels on spices, mixing tea, coffee and everything together, salt got poured in all the bottles of wine with her being careful to reseal them afterwards. Someone also shoved exploding tags inside the fluffy slippers.

"There." The three of them came together after doing their mischief. "That should teach him a lesson." Sasuke smirked.

"Now let's go before we're caught." Naruto looked out of the window. He was worried about Yurei and what trouble he had found.

"Sakura take off that makeup and get rid of the evidence you existed." Sasuke ordered. She nodded and dumped a bottle of water on her face and used a towel to wipe it off. Sasuke took the towel and promptly lit it on fire and threw it in the grate.

"We're done here." He announced, "Let's go team."

Wow nearly all of you wanted to save them both. I was fully prepared to let one die but maybe that's just me being harsh. Reviews are taxes and I'm the queen so keep them coming ;) Love you all.