VIII.
April 2010
I pulled the tape of the wall and Pam, Amelia and I stood back looking at our handiwork. The pattern looked great, with it's overlapping blocks of color. Cadel and Jamie were still working on the opposite wall and Bertram was mixing the paints into various muted shades of greens and ochres and soft reddish-browns to go onto the gray-green walls.
"It really looks cool, Amelia," I said. "It looks like something you'd see in a design magazine, frankly. I think it's amazing you did it yourself."
"No, I did it with you guys…" Amelia said with a chipper smile.
"I think it's amazing that I am doing this at all," said Pam, dryly. I cannot believe I am spending my night off doing manual labor humans could be paid to do. And I really cannot believe I have flecks of paint on my fingernails. The entire situation is extremely disconcerting. I'm thinking of calling Ludwig. I think something's very wrong with me." Pam was currently wearing some of my old clothes because her old clothes were still too good to get paint on them. Even though I was still the thinnest I'd ever been in my entire life (size 6/7) they hung long and loose on Pam, who was so much smaller than I was.
Amelia and I turned to Pam and burst out laughing at her comments.
"You think you're having a hard time? I can't believe I'm painting a wall with a Were," said Cadel snidely. He was wearing old jeans, a stained white T-shirt and a sarcastic smile.
"I guess you're only doing it because you're so afraid of Sookie, Cadel," said Jamie with a sardonic smile on his face as he painted. "I can't say I blame you. She beats up on Andor, after all, and against all odds, appears to win. I try to stay on her good side. I'm sure you're doing the same, old man, after she saved your skin from the Viking Prince."
Cadel leaned over toward Jamie and said, "Yeah, she's almost as scary as the real old man…" with a chortle as he glanced over at Bert.
"Cadel," said Pam sharply, "as usual you have been negligent. You have missed a spot. No doubt because you were so busy mouthing off. Honestly, such shabby work and an even worse mouth. I don't even know why they said you could come, let alone paint."
Cadel looked puzzled and stood back looking carefully at the wall. He was the kind of person that you could count on to notice the one and only thing that had been moved in an entire roomful of objects. He had that kind of mind. And right now he was straining to see where he had missed a spot on the overlapping circles on the wall. He was silent as he stood back further and then drew closer to the wall again. All the while, Amelia and I watched Pam, who had the most utterly delighted expression on her face. She was rapt watching him try to figure out what was wrong. As he started to whip around to question her, she turned to me and said,
"You really owe me for talking me into this. I expect to be well compensated. You may even have to make me look good at the shooting range. I'm talking serious 'sucking up'. Books won't do it for me. Vampires doing manual labor are just not cool."
"Pamela, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this wall. James and I have done a beautiful job. It is perfect. I do not see any missed spots," said Cadel in an annoyed tone of voice.
"It is perfect. But I got you to be quiet. Which was also perfect, if you ask me." She grinned with fangs down.
Cadel gave Pam a very dark look, which she ignored as we turned to one of the other walls.
Bertram had finished mixing paint for the remaining walls and stepped out of the great room, only to return a few minutes later carrying two bottles of Royalty Blended and a just opened bottle of champagne along with six champagne flutes. Amelia smiled.
"Wow," I said with a chuckle. "I've never been to a painting party with champagne. Pretty fancy. Royalty Blended? We must be some pretty high class painters."
Bert poured the blood into glasses and then poured out four glasses of Kristal champagne.
"We are toasting the completion of the renovations of the duplex into one home and, much more importantly… you are offering us your congratulations. Amelia and I married yesterday. Before her father and my mother could have a word to say about it."
I turned to Amelia in stunned surprise. She caught my expression and looked remorseful.
"The courthouse. Totally spur of the moment. My dad said he was coming to see us tomorrow and I'm so afraid of Bert's mother. She's rather… Well, I don't want to get into it. We just wanted to be able to say it was a done deal and tell them we didn't want to hear their opinions."
I reached out and hugged her, even if I was just totally stunned.
"Well, congratulations!" I said with a smile.
"I texted you at 9:30 am yesterday to see if you were awake. When you didn't reply I didn't want to call you and wake you. I didn't want to disturb your sleep, " she said softly, giving me a knowing look. "It was totally spur of the moment, after my dad had called, and we ended up with Courthouse employees as our witnesses at around 11 am."
"What's the deal with your dad?" asked Jamie.
"Copley," said Amelia acerbically, "does not approve of my lifestyle. Or my occupation. Or Bert. Or Bert's lack of overt occupation. Or our friends. Or our enemies. Or… really anything you can think of. He loves me and hates my life. A verbatim quote. So I didn't want to hear anymore about it. He'll just have to suck it up."
We drank a toast to their happiness and future and after about half an hour of chatting resumed painting. Amelia had just finished the renovation of her duplex, enclosing the outer stairwell and rearranging the interior space to make a single-family residence. Bert had moved in a while back and they were enjoying having the larger space.
Amelia took a break from painting while Pam and I continued. I was enjoying painting, while we sang and danced around to the likes of Neko Case, the Beatles and various Motown groups. Even Pam sang, so we seemed to be having a good evening. That is until Amelia stood there looking at our wall, with another glass of champagne in her hand and asked,
"When are you hoping to leave for Pakistan again? We really need to start scheduling for May."
I froze and closed my eyes. Disaster….
Pam literally zoomed over to me, paint brush in hand and looked at me with practically surgical assessment.
"What?" said Pam sharply. "What is she talking about? I thought it was decided that you were not going to go?"
I didn't meet Pam's eyes and just kept painting.
"It was not decided, it was discussed. My decision was not made. If I go, it would be with a bodyguard of course, and as part of a humanitarian group, Pam. I don't have all the details about it yet and decided not to discuss it further until I had more information. It would be a humanitarian mission. An opportunity to see first hand what the damage from the earthquake is and what is most needed. I want to see what is needed and to look into any damage at the schools I helped EAI build. And the schools are all well and good, but drinking water is a necessity. And I wonder about clinics and vaccines. "
"Eric is going to be furious. Absolutely furious. You cannot possibly think about going back to that place. How could you?" she said, eyes starting to glow.
"Pam, I'm not sure I'm going. And Eric already knows I'm still thinking about it. You didn't listen to what I just said. It would be traveling with a group that's affiliated with one of the UN Relief organizations. I think Alla is going to go, too. And you know, I think that I'm in a better position of knowing what I'm going back to than any of you and if I'd be comfortable going then you can bet that I'm sure I'd be safe going there, okay?"
"I can't even believe that you'd want to have anything to do with those people. Honestly. I just can't even believe we are having this conversation."
I just looked at her for a moment, open mouthed, shaking my head.
"Those people? You know Pam, a lot of people might say the same about my hanging out with vampires, Weres, witches and Fae, okay? You're one of 'those' people to a lot of people. I've had some pretty bad stuff happen to me hanging out with supes and witches, right? And I had only a few bad things happen, and only one to me in particular, 'hanging out' in Pakistan. Those people were in large part very kind to me for several years, and I've got people that I would consider friends there, who were very welcoming when I worked there. As a country, they've really suffered and they need help. I want to see the schools. And I've heard that a lot of wells are damaged. They need clean water and you know safe wells are like my new big thing along with schools and literacy. I'd like to see what's needed. I'm not into being apathetic or hearing about it at a distance."
"Get them to send you a report. Find out what is needed and give without going there. Because I'll personally shred your passport if you try to go. There's no way Eric will let you go. I can't even believe you'd want to risk putting us through anything even resembling what we went through last summer."
"I'm not planning to put you 'through' anything, Pam. I'm not working for the government and not making myself that kind of target. And for the record, neither you nor Eric can do anything to my passport because I could have seen that little strategy coming a mile away and have it in my safety deposit box. You know, I really don't appreciate the tone or the implication that I am no longer able to make my own decisions. You may be my friend, but when you start with stuff like this you're really crossing a line. I am getting mighty tired of all of you acting as if I am no longer in charge of my own life. I'm not making any decisions until I have all the information and then I'll discuss it with Eric and not with anyone else. I love you, but you better quit telling me what to do. I appreciate where you're coming from but not how you're getting here."
She looked at me angrily, eyes now glowing with open anger.
"How dare you!"
"How dare you? You're the one telling me off in front of everyone. Another thing that I'm getting tired of- being told off in front of Amelia and Jamie is getting mighty old. So let's just agree to let it drop, okay?"
"Okay you two, just cut it out already. No blood on my freshly painted walls," said Amelia. She pushed her way in between the two of us and both Pam and I glared at her. Undaunted she continued, "Don't make me get Bert to lock you guys in the closets or something. The two of you need to chill. And for the record, if you go and end up getting shot at anymore Sookie, everyone in the room is gonna be totally pissed off, so if you go, there had better be no action and extensive wearing of protective gear. That's all I'm saying on the topic. You," she said to Pam, "the circles in the squares here. You," she said to me, "the opposite wall. Swap with Jamie."
She cranked up the music, and I painted to the strains of Norah Jones and the Dixie Chicks. I could feel Pam's angry gaze continue to follow my every movement. About an hour later I took a break and carried a few glasses and a couple of empty beer bottles into the kitchen. As I turned from getting a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, I was startled by Bert, who'd silently entered the kitchen with some clean brushes and paint stirrers. He hadn't been there a moment before and I didn't hear him enter. I wondered if Amelia ever felt as slow and lumbering as I did compared to all these Fae, vampires and Weres. I really had to remember to ask her.
"You seem hearty in your congratulations to us, in spite of being left out of the actual moment," said Bert. "Amelia was very torn about whether or not to go ahead without you being there. But her anxiety over her father's impending visit was the deciding factor. I'm very grateful that you have not felt slighted. She would have felt very bad."
I met Bert's eyes with a smile. Whatever he was, he made Amelia happy, shared his knowledge with her, protected her and so far as I could see, truly loved her. If they'd decided on the spur of the moment to get married, more power to them. I knew I was probably the best friend Amelia had other than Bert and I wasn't going to get bent out of shape about their getting married so suddenly and my not being there.
"I'm very happy for you both, Bert."
He smiled at me and for just a moment I saw a flash of someone, something, else. Something wild and strange and quite beautiful. He leaned forward to kiss me on the cheek and I felt enveloped by this wild energy. He looked at me and seemed quite pleased with my lack of fearful reaction, and said,
"Thank you, Sookie. We're delighted you share our happiness. It means much to Amelia, which means that it means much to me. And now I have to talk to Pam for a while. Maybe I can try to glamour her into being calm about your possible trip," he said with a wink.
I gave him a startled look.
"I really don't think…"
He laughed at me with merry eyes.
"I'm just joking. Don't worry. I know she is quite dear to you. And her love of you is most evident. It seems to make her feel that she is rather vulnerable, however, does it not? You might actually want to consider that. What would her life be without you in it? From her perspective, I'm sure that even though she also has Amelia, it would be rather barren. She seems to have few women to whom she can relate as friends in her sphere. Her role as Eric's second rather precludes her easy attachment to any peers. Her relationship with you is all the more valuable and easy for that fact. You should take it under consideration. It is a difficult thing for anyone relatively immortal to consider taking up with an individual more fragile than themselves. There is of course, the obvious and inevitable loss. But if that individual is… reckless on top of it… at least in their eyes, it is so much harder to bear. It appears, perhaps, even callous in the disregard for the affection conferred."
I stood there silently, my mouth open, and took in his words. I drew a deep breath and by the time I could think of replying he was gone.
He'd gone off to his office with Pam, to discuss something Eric was up to at the moment. Jamie had gone home, since Cadel and Pam would be with me. Amelia insisted on finishing up by herself so Cadel and I sat chatting out on the patio while Pam and Bert were talking. Cadel had recently broken things off with his girlfriend of almost a year, Samantha. He seemed firm in his choices about it, but he still acted a bit down about the whole business. We sat talking about relationships.
"I just wasn't going to do that, you know?"
One of the reasons that Cadel had broken things off with her (although he readily admitted to having glamoured her into thinking she'd broken off with him, out of kindness) was that Samantha didn't understand why he was reluctant to stay in her apartment during the day, and why he would never invite her to come stay with him during the day in the compound if he felt safer staying there.
I'd come to see in recent months how incredibly trusting of me Eric was. For instance, Pam had told me that I was the only human that she'd ever stayed the day with who wasn't glamoured into oblivion. In general it seemed like most of them felt as if one of the main reasons they'd lived as long as they had was because they didn't trust humans. The fact that they trusted me, for instance, just thinking about flying to Paris with Eric, Andor and Markus in coffins, was really something that had a deep significance, to them and now that I understood more about it form their perspective, to me. Cadel had told me openly that I was the only human that he would ever consider allowing into a room in which he rested. And that was only because he knew I slept with Eric and had stayed the day with Pam on an open bed.
Cadel made a lot of references to the fact that he didn't see Andor ever trusting a human to sleep near him. Sheila, Andor's steady companion, lived downstairs in a veritable dorm room. He also said that even if he trusted a human (me) that Stefan, for instance, would never have a real relationship with one.
"But what do you mean about Stefan? He doesn't like humans?"
"No, no… I don't mean that at all. I just… I really shouldn't have gotten started on the topic, Sookie. It's really Stefan's business. But he will never have a relationship, a real relationship, with some who is so mortal. I really can't get into his reasons. I think he's only going to fare well with one of our own kind."
I frowned and said, "But Eric told me once long ago that vampires can't really have long term relationships with one another. That it was… dangerous or something, like because of having power over one another."
Cadel looked thoughtful. "Well, I suppose it really depends on the nature of the underlying relationship. I mean, I was with someone for about twenty years. I turned her. But I was a cad. I mean really, I was. And she left me. I've no idea where she is now. But in terms of the idea of holding power over each other? It was my blood that turned her so I had that over her. Her real power over me was how I felt about her."
"Had you known her before you turned her?"
"Oh yeah. For about a year or two."
"You mean she loved you? She loved you and trusted you? But… what happened?"
Cadel looked down and nodded.
"I guess she loved me before. I mean she was glamoured some of the time, so who knows really. But yeah, I really think she did. And I told you. I was a cad. Won't ever do that again. I turned her and she caught me with someone else. Someone… warm. Things got out of hand, I guess you could say. Anyway, I still feel bad about it." He looked up at me and said, "Listen, they actually don't know. About her I mean. It was during a few of those silent decades when I turned her. We hadn't all gotten called together in a while. I didn't really know Stefan as well, back then. I mean we knew each other, but we were turned much farther apart time-wise than Eric and Andor were. I got released and went on my way. Kept getting called back to check in, of course, but I kept her well away from Ocella. That's how I got to know Stefan better- all our cheerful little reunions. Ocella was really getting unhinged by then. Oh, I kept her far away from that scene. Too dangerous by halves. But yeah, Maggie… I guess she loved and trusted me. I was such a bastard. Several times, actually. She left around 1817. I've looked in the database but don't see her listed. Maybe she went into Eastern Europe or something. I don't know."
"Where was she from?"
"Glasgow. We lived mostly on the continent, though. One of these days I'll have to ask Bill Compton if he can find out where she is or if… if something happened to her. I wonder about that. You know, it's easy to get careless when you're feeling hurt and down. I like to think she changed her name so I couldn't find her. I haven't found her picture in the database, though." He grimaced. "But yeah, Stefan's not into humans for that kind of thing. It's funny that Stefan and I are opposites in so many ways and such good friends, in'it? I'd never get involved with another vampire. It would just be a ticket to unhappiness- my own or causing someone else's. I know myself too well to think it would ever work out."
"So Stefan is quite different? You said that he was like Eric? But I don't think Eric would stay with a vampire, at least not based on what he told me a long time ago."
"Stefan is like Eric. He genuinely wants a companion. Really, no matter what you understood, I think that's all that Er… Ah, here's Pamela. My lovely niece with her ever gentle manner."
"Don't call me that. I've told you not to call me that. Let's go. The two of you are just impossible. I'm horribly annoyed. I wish I could just drain someone."
Cadel let out a snort.
"Like you're so used to draining people?"
She turned on Cadel with a snarl and he grimaced at her in mock fear but still laughing and standing stock still as she lunged at him. She was almost a foot shorter than he was and almost two hundred years younger. And almost anybody who knew him said that Cadel was the fastest vampire they'd ever seen. He was the kind of vampire that made you believe they could appear and disappear instantaneously. Almost like teleportation. He didn't even budge with Pam going at him.
"Stefan is the only one of you that I can tolerate. I swear I don't know what Eric was thinking bringing the rest of you here!" She turned to me with narrow eyes. "And you. You, I just find you infuriating. If you really go on that trip in spite of all sense and anything happens to you, I'll be furious at Eric. I'll quit. The idea that I could agree with Andor about anything is simply astonishing. But this time, I'm with him on the idea that Eric had better find some way to get you to be more sensible and rule you in."
She stormed off to the car.
"You know, Sookie, if anything happened to you, I actually think that Pamela would be quite…" Cadel paused to choose his words carefully, "devastated." He grinned with dimples deep as craters. He obviously knew, as did we all, that conveying such intense emotion was really anathema to Pam.
Pam turned around and practically flew at him. He immediately appeared on the driver's side door of her car and waved to her, smiling. She wheeled around and looked at me with eyes glowing angrily.
"And you'd leave me alone, dealing with them, to go off on some crazy trip to a place where they shoot at you? You're intolerable and selfish. What have I even bothered with telling Eric all about you for? I wanted you to be happy and you're a selfish crea…"
I hugged her into silence and leaned my head against hers. All very dangerous stuff with an angry vampire if Eric was to be believed and these days, really, I was trusting Eric's advice on just about everything. But Pam knew I loved her. She'd never hurt me.
"Pam," I said softly, "I promise I won't go to Pakistan unless I'm really sure it's safe and Eric is comfortable with it, okay? Nothing's going to happen to me. Really."
"Remember when working with the FBI was supposed to make you safe? Remember that? Funny thing about that. I remember the serious bullet wound, losing organs and almost dying."
"I was pretty safe. For years. But," I took her hand as we walked to the car, "the rotten facts are that I missed my friends and loved ones and the relative safety wasn't worth it. No, I decided to live with very cross and demanding friends, instead."
She let out a low growl of disapproval.
Alla and I left at the end of April and I was only gone for six days. Jamie went with me. It was a good trip. In spite of all the possibilities for worsening my PTSD, I actually thought it improved a bit. I made a bit of peace with my memories of the embassy attack. Alla and I stood looking at the ruins of the embassy with helmets and bullet proof vests on. We were surrounded by UN troops and NGO aide workers as we looked. We sighed and then Alla said in her pragmatic way,
"We're here to do good works, Insha'Allah. Let us let go of the past."
"You know, Alla, the odd thing is that I don't even have bad memories of Islamabad, actually. Just the embassy, which when you think about it, is actually really US soil. It's like everything really bad that ever happened to me was on US soil. Funny isn't it? Most of the other memories that I have of Pakistan are good. That time in Miran-Shah is the only other bad thing. But here? No way. Just that one moment in time was bad. But when I look at where I am now, maybe I wouldn't have had all the good things in my life that I have now if I hadn't almost died here. So I've got no complaints."
Alla turned to me with a smile.
"Ah, Sash… As Ahmed would say, you're priceless. Such a goody-two shoes. But I know you really mean it. Looking back at the bad makes us see the good all the more clearly. So let's go be the nice Americans. Such shock value… Americans who came back! Americans who actually care," she said with a smile. "Even Iranian-Americans. Yeah, we can really get some enjoyment out of the irony. And doing some real good."
And off we went. To five full days of good works and long lists of where things and what things were really needed. I filled my planned financial commitments for the remainder of the year right there on Pakistani soil.
Everyone was pleased when I arrived safely back home in New Orleans. Well, almost everybody. Mr. Cataliades always gave me dark looks at my plans for funds dispersals. But the entire portfolio continued to really make money, even in a bad economy, thanks to Eric's investment advice. I guess a thousand years of living gave you real perspectives about the world financial trends. It seemed that even with what I'd already spent, that I'd made more money in a short time. But that was really Eric's doing. He liked to joke that he very much enjoyed helping me manage the account. Vampires making profits for humans with fairy funds seemed to really amuse him.
