Day 9
Part 22 iGo to KFC just kidding
So the next day I woke up. I yawned and looked out the window next to where I was sleeping to see someones face pressed against it staring at me. "AUGH" I jumped up and kicked it which scared the person away. "Stupid PETA people" I mumbled. I was glad that Fredward was coming over later so we could make a new episode of my webshow so I could introduce Bob Jr. To everybody and be nice to him to try to get PETA off my back. Did that make ANY sense?
I walked over to where Sam was sleeping and dumped a few gallons of water on her to wake her up. Then I went to check on our prisoner.
"How you doing?" I asked our prisoner, the principal.
"mmf mhfm mffm" he replied.
Once Sam had gotten ready we both headed out to do our daily chores. Which included feeding the chicken, Sunny. I grabbed Bob Jr too. We walked up to the barn where it was kept and stepped inside.
"Oh hey, I don't think Bob Jr. and Sunny have met yet." I said. So I held up Bob jr. to meet Sunny, but that made him freak out and run away.
"BOB COME BACK HERE." I yelled. I turned to Sam, "Oh well." We started getting the chicken feed together. We were almost out..again. "So how are your taxes going?" I asked Sam.
"Um. They are doing good. I actually don't have any taxes."
"What? Are you like under the poverty line or something?"
"Not really, Oh remember when that Gryfin tried to get us to pay him taxes when we were in that place under Jingons basement?"
"And Melvin sucker punched him?"
"Yeah. which got him killed."
"Yeah." I laughed.
"What's so funny?"
"You have a pink butterfly in your hair."
And so we fed the chicken a lot of chicken feed.
"Hey" it said "Thanks I appreciate it." It put its arm around me. "Here's a little something in return." he handed me a card.
"Oh cool." it looked like a...CREDIT CARD.
"It's a cash card for the university. They call it 'Campus Cash' You can use it to make copies at their library, get something to eat at their cafeteria, or buy clothes at their clothing shop."
"Oh cool thanks." I said, I looked down to see that the cash card had a picture of a masculine chicken on it, posing in a superman pose.
I turned to Sam, "Are you up for shopping for some disguises to hide from those Waldos with?"
"Sure." she said. I noticed she wasn't looking at me. I HATE it when she does that. EYE CONTACT BROS! IT'S WHATS FOR DINNER!
"Why are you shouting?" Sam said. This time she was looking at me.
"No reason. What were you looking at just now?"
"Gary. He just walked in." I looked over to see that Gary had entered the barn and looked like he wanted to talk to us.
"Hey Gary." I said.
"Hi. So um, there's a woman here. She wants a feather from your chicken. Something's happened to Bart and apparently they need a lucky golden egg chickens feather to cure him."
I explained that he had just run away.
"ah." he said. "Well, if you find him…" he left.
I turned to Sam, "Ok, let's go."
"Great!" she said, "Let me just get my picnic basket."
And so we headed to the university. We had been there only once before. On our way we ran into a swarm of pink butterflies. It turned out they belonged to a rich man who was taking them out for a walk.
We eventually reached the university campus. It looked like a university.
"So, where is the clothing shop?" I asked.
"I don't know." she said, and so we walked up to a nearby guy in a daisy suit and asked him.
"Do you know where we can shop for clothes?" I asked him.
"My dears, you've come to the right place. THIS is the clothing shop!"
We looked around but all there was, was a garbage can full of pink water.
"I don't see any clothes." I said.
"Of course not. That's not how my store works. You see my store works like this. You give me Campus Cash cards, I throw the cash cards into this garbage bin, and the cash card turns into a clothing article." He explained how all university cash cards actually have dehydrated clothing articles stuffed inside them. Yeah ridiculous I know.
"Can you believe this guy?" I asked Sam as she was handing the campus cash card into him. "Wait what are you doing?"
The daisy guy took the cash card and pulled out a small knife which he used to make a small incision at the top. Then he carefully pulled out a thin metallic sheet from inside the card. "Here it is." he said, "The card core. Now we just need to drop it in the magic hydration water." he threw it into the garbage bin. "Now we kinda have to wait a few minutes."
Luckily it only took 5 minutes. About halfway through I got hungry so I asked Sam if she had anything in the picnic basket. She pulled out Bob Jr.
"YOU WERE GOING TO EAT BOB JR? Do you realize how much of our heads PETA will have if we did that?"
"I didn't know he was in there." Sam said. Like I'd believe that.
The thin metallic sheet eventually started gaining shape until it had become a jeweled chicken collar.
"Great." I said, "How are we supposed to wear that?"
"Well Bob Jr. can. And if we show him wearing it on our web show later then maybe PETA will appreciate it."
"Yeah." I looked around, "You know, I actually haven't seen a single Waldo today anyway." That made me suspicious. I quickly glanced around to make sure Casandra wasn't around.
We walked away from the creepy Daisy guy. I had never heard of putting dehydrated clothing inside gift cards before. The people of this town were geniuses.
"Oh I just remembered something now that Bob Jr's back." I said as we passed St. Neon's Irish Emporium, "Now that Bob Jr's back we should see about getting him a voice box!"
"Oooh good idea." Sam said. But then we got distracted because we saw Slim up ahead a ways.
"HEY SLIM. HOWS YOUR LUCKY CHICKEN FEED GOING." I yelled to him.
He stared at us and then hesitantly yelled, "GOOD. THE ONLY THING IS I THINK IT COULD USE A LITTLE MORE LUCK."
"OH. DO YOU KNOW WHERE TO GET SOME?"
"BART...I THINK THAT'S HIS NAME. HE WORKS AT St. NEONS IRISH EMPORIUM. IF YOU CAN ASK FOR SOMETHING FROM HIM."
Suddenly a lady from across the street joined in, "DIDNT YOU HEAR? BART GOT CURSED OR SOMETHING. HES NOT REALLY IN ANY CONDITION TO HELP WITH ANYTHING."
A guy beside her also pitched in, "ITS FUNNY TO SEE HIM BREAKDANCE."
"HARLEY" The lady said, "YOU ALWAYS WERE A HEARTLESS JERK. I HATE YOU."
We turned back to slim, he yelled "UM WELL GO TO ST. NEONS IRISH EMPORIUM AND SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO."
"OKAAAAYYY." We yelled back.
And so we headed back to St. Neon's Irish Emporium. WE got there in under 5 minutes
We entered the big...entrance and was immediately set on by the girl we had talked to last time we were here. "You 2! Gary said you had the lucky chicken. Did you find him?" She looked down at Bob Jr. "Awesome" she said. She took him and ran off. We followed her to a table where the old lady from the last time we visited was standing. The older lady pulled out a razor and shaved off some feathers from one side of him. Her hands were kinda shaky so she took off more feathers then we would have liked.
"Umm we'll just have to hide that side from the camera when we shoot later." Sam said.
The old lady started work on the cure. Meanwhile we talked to the younger lady. We really should get their names.
"So um...what made you decide to save him all the sudden?" I asked her.
"Oh. I decided that was kind of silly of me. Putting him in danger over a froot loops contest." She laughed.
So we stood around and waited. I decided to eavesdrop on a nearby couple.
"Hey, did you hear that that Slim fellow is back?" person1 said.
"Yeah. I'm not sure I trust that guy. That's why I'm staying clear from the mall until he leaves." person2 said.
"Yeah, a lot of people think he's suspicious. Oh. I got my lucky eggs I ordered from Gary."
"Awesome, what do they look like."
Then I saw a pink butterfly. I tried to catch it but I only ended up squishing it.
That's when the older lady announced that Bart was ok. She held up the cursed shirt and threw it. The younger lady clapped for a few seconds and then bent down to pick up the shirt that was lying on the ground. "I'll take care of this." she said. Then I heard her mumble about "taxes gonna pay"
"Hey that's funny." i said, "We were just talking about taxes earlier, me and Sam." I said.
She looked confused, "I didn't say anything about taxes I said my EX is.." she stopped. "...gonna pay for dinner! He's taking me out."
"Your ex is taking you out?" I said. This added a whole new dimension to how I thought relationships worked.
"It's none of your business go." she said.
So we went over to Bart who was sitting, catching his breath.
"Hey Bart. Do you have any more lucky fruit or something?" we asked. He pointed to a bin behind the counter that was full of rainbow fruit. We went over and picked up another rainbow grape cluster.
"Let's go back to Slim." I said. And so we did.
When we were almost there, Sam said. "Y'know. Something about this Slim guy seems familiar."
"Yeah. That's because we met him last year. Remember we had to get the chickens from him?"
Sams face lit up with condensation, "Oh yeah!" she said.
"Hey Slim." I said in normal volume. "Here". I tossed him the rainbow grape cluster.
"Oh good." he smiled. He paid us $1.50. "Oh and one more thing." he continued, "You 2. You've earned another LUCKY STAR!"
Rainbows shot everywhere and unicorns smiled as he presented us with our 2nd golden star sticker thingy.
"Um. Thanks Slim." I said.
To be continued.
note from ben: They just keep getting longer and longer eh?
Part 23 iBob Jr. gets a voice
So after we had talked to Gary, I turned to Sam. "Hey, Sam. Let's go get a voice box for Bob Jr. now."
"Good idea." Sam said.
So we walked away, on our way we passed the pet adoption center and I noticed they were selling pink butterflies.
"Oh so that's where all those are coming from." Sam said, rolling her eyes.
Then I turned across the street where I saw a small dutch bros coffee stand. I walked up to it and asked.
"Hey do you guys have any voice boxes?"
They did. So we got one and programmed the following 6 responses into it.
1. I have a deep fascination with your back incisors.
2. Yes
3. No.
4. SHUT UP
5. ITS OVER 9000!
6. Hey honey.
Then we had to figure out how to get it inside him. So we decided to head to the pet adoption center.
We walked up to the pet adoption center desk, to meet a person names Miss Rowley.
"Hey." I asked her, "So do you guys do any pet surgery stuff? or know anyone who does?"
She looked up at me, "That would be the vet. What kind of surgery is it?"
"We want to implant this voice box into our chicken, so it can talk to us."
"...what?"
She sent us away. I figured we could just force feed it to him, like we did with Bob. But suddenly I noticed a pink butterfly.
We followed the pink butterfly across the town, skipping and painting. Then we arrived at Gary's farm.
"HEY GARY." we said holding up a yellow paintbrush. "These pink butterflies are simply wonderful."
"Hello niece. I disagree" He looked like he was busy with his taxes.
Sam stopped skipping. "I'm going back to Slim."
"What? why?" I said.
"I think he needs us"" he pointed behind her and I noticed there was a bright beam of light with a chicken silhouette on it, in the sky.
"It's the chick signal."
"I don't know what to make of that." I said.
So we headed back to Slim. When we got there it turned out he wasn't behind the chick signal. He was in front of it.
"Where did you get that?" I said. (The chick signal light was only about the size of a jack in the box).
"Oh, some random guy gave it to me last month. I was just trying it out."
"Oh cool." I said. "So how should we improve the chicken feed THIS time."
Sam said, "Well I think it's lucky enough."
Slim added, "Yeah. But I've always been a very unlucky person."
I also added, "How about some fruit!"
Slim slowly nodded, "Yeah. That'd work. How about you guys get 5 more lyfinberries."
I glared at him. "No." I said, but was interrupted by Sam saying "ok."
I shot a smile at Sam and then turned to Slim, "Slim. Let's not and say we didn't."
"Um. ok? Tell you what. If you do this...then I'll give you a raise. Plus it's daytime, it won't be as scary!"
Somehow I agreed we'd do it.
So we walked over to the south woods that were next to Old Man Harolds house.
Slim was wrong, even in daytime it was still dark in the woods.
"I'm scared." Sam said.
"Yeah, what if we run into a BEAR!"
"or a tiger."
"Or a lion."
"Or Kelsea!"
We started chanting, "Lions and tigers and bears or Kelsea oh my! Lions and tigers and bears or Kelsea oh my! Lions and tigers and bears or Kelsea oh my!"
"SHUT IT" The scarecrow yelled (we were in the pumpkin patch)
I turned to Sam and then walked up to the scarecrow. "Do you want us to get you teh brains?"
"...wha?" he said. He looked like he was trying to sleep.
"Well we were parodying a scene from the wizard of oz and suddenly we run into a living scarecrow. I know how the story works."
"I may be a scarecrow, but I'm not a zombie scarecrow." he said, "That's what those quarantined people practically are though."
"Thanks for reminding us." I said. I shuddered and then beckoned Sam to follow.
And so we traveled into the bog. "Let's sing a song." I suggested.
And so we did, it went like this
"I'm a little teapot short and stout. Here is my handle here is my spout. If you dah dah dah I can't remember what comes next." I turned to Sam, "Lets sing friday."
"FRIDAY FRIDAY gotta get down on FRIIDAAAY"
Hey, y'know I think this is the perfect time for me to share my fav musics with you peeps. oooh lets talk about Justin Bieber.
Note from Ben: ok, don't worry I'll use my author powers to stop her.
Suddenly iCarly fell into the bog.
"HEEEELLLPP" I screamed, but no one did and I fell under. I almost suffocated but then I reached the bottom and fell down onto a counter where there was a squash with a cardboard mask on, that had a smiley face on it.
"I really love you guys." it said.
Then I snapped out of it, it had all been a vision brought on by the weird smelling bog mist.
I forgot what I was talking about now OH WELL no matter LOOOOOOOOOLOL. We reached the quarantined area eventually. When we got there the first thing we noticed was that this time there were 4 quarantined people sitting in the purple goo, staring at the tv with open mouths.
I spied the lyfinberry tree. "How do we get to it." I whispered.
"We moonwalk." Sam said and started sneakily moonwalking to the lyfinberry tree. I don't know how to moonwalk to I tried burrowing through the purple goo. But that didn't work because I soon ran into another person in the purple goo and it was one of the quarantined people.
"AUGH STAY AWAY." I said and kicked him. He fell over and didn't move which made me feel bad so I decided to hug him. But before I could he started moving again so I didn't feel as bad.
I caught up to Sam who had already gotten 5 lyfinberries and we headed back. On our way I stopped, "Where's Bob Jr." I said. I looked back to see that he was stuck in the purple goo and was being closed in by 2.5 quarantined people.
"BOB JR." I yelled. Luckily Bob Jr. fought them off. He caught up with us and we headed back.
We arrived back at the mall soon enough.
"Heeey slimy." (pronounced slim ee)
"Hey Carlyy. How did it go?"
"good here" I threw the berries at him.
"Ah. ok. Are you mad at me?" He said.
"No. I usually throw stuff at people."
"hmm. ok." he said. He paid us $2 and we headed back to Gary's to take a shower. And we did so.
After we had taken a shower we started heading back to the town, but on our way we passed Gary.
"Hey Gary, why do you look so restless oh let me guess, the last expert scheduled an event on your farm to promote his new rubber chicken."
"Yes. You are psychic." he said.
"No it's just an educatered guess." I said.
So then he says, "Ah. He should be arriving any moment now."
"Who is it this time?"
"Its Narmoni, the crafting expert. He's holding it inside the egg sorting barn."
"aww man." I thought. We headed over to the egg sorting barn to find it locked. So we headed back to Gary.
"Gary, the egg sorting room, It's locked. Can we have the keys?"
He looked down at us (he was in the loft of HIS barn, hiding in his bed.). Anyways he looked down at us and spoke. "No...I cannot allow you in the egg sorting room."
"Why not?" I asked.
"I don't have permission. The keys aren't mine to give away."
"But I'm your neice, you can let me in right?" I smiled at him.
"NO! I'm already pushing it by letting you in MY barn w/o the secret access hat."
"The secret access hat?"
"Remember, that hat I gave you last year? Yeah you're supposed to be wearing it or AT LEAST have it with you. It breaks the rules for you to be in here w/o it."
"What rules?" I said starting to get exasperated.
His eyes lit up with flames from who-knows-where and he said in a very scary voice, "The ancient divine laws of the universe."
"OK WHATEVER." I said. "So I accidentally sold the hat at my garage sale, are you going to kick me out or something?"
"Well there IS 1 other option." he said, "The cosmic and ancient divine rules DO say that if you don't have a secret hat of accessibility, then an alarm clock of chicken themeness would work as well."
"ok do you have any spare ones? Spare chicken alarm clocks?"
"Yes. Tell you what, you can have one if you bring me 10 eggs. I'm hungry up here."
"What type of eggs."
"White."
"White? White eggs? Do those even exist?" Sam said.
"If we find 10 white eggs then will you let us in the egg sorting room?" I added.
He looked uneasy. "...fffffiiiinneee but only this once."
So we hurried to the main barn. On our way though...we ran into a bunch of cows in the way. Sam pulled out a shotgun from her picnic basket. "I'll clear the way." she said.
"Sam STOP!" I yelled. I mouthed "PEE TAH"
Sam grumbled and stuffed the shotgun back into her picnic basket.
We somehow got past the cows and gathered 10 white eggs from the haystack which we stuffed in Sams picnic basket.
Then we headed back to Gary. We handed him the 10 eggs and he tossed down the alarm clock, it landed on Sams head and went off. "cuckoo cuckoo" it said.
I picked it up (it looked like an alarm clock, with feathers and a couple arms sticking out), "Thanks" I said. I stuffed it into Sams picnic basket. Then Gary threw down a couple cards. "These will only let you in once ok?" They landed on my head; I swiped them up and then turned to Sam.
"All right, let's go." I said.
She looked around, "Oh. Are you talking to me?" she said.
"Yes c'mon."
"Do I know you?"
"Yes. I'm iCarly, your Sam."
"Ha, like the people from that lame tv show?"
"I didn't know we were on tv."
"Well we are! I mean they are!"
"Sam?"
"Am I really called Sam?"
"Yes."
"...I don't believe you."
"Who are you then?"
"...I don't know."
"Do you have amnesia?"
"I forget."
I threw the alarm clock at her head, BANGNOGNUCUCKOO!
"Better?" I asked.
She got up dazed, and nodded.
"Ok lets go."
So we headed next door to the egg sorting room. We swiped our cards at the door and got inside and said hi to Casandra, she was wearing a feather in her hair. Suspicious.
I didn't have much time to stare suspiciously at her because, suddenly in a bang of purple smoke appeared the 4th expert.
He was a nerd. He was half bald, had thick glasses, pale skin, protruding teeth and a nervous look.
He coughed, "Um hello everybody."
"Hi Narmoni." Everyone said. I wondered what gave THEM a right to be here. Was it because they were locals? Or rich? Or fellow nerds?
Narmoni smiled and then started his dancing routine. The experts liked to dance a lot.
He spun around a pole, "How was everybodies weekend? Good I hope", he climbed the pole while spinning on it until he got to a ledge which he walked across. "I'm here to promote the release of my rubber chicken (the crafting rubber chicken) in the Loperville series. As like the others, I will be giving FREE ones to whoever can follow my hints." He spun out a gadget from his pocket and pushed a button on it which made everybodies phones start buzzing/ringing. I pulled out mine and looked at it to see a message.
"I will be giving out the clues via your mobile devices." it said.
BEEP it said and another message popped up "somewhere with lots of grass"
I looked up at Narmoni to see him waving. I turned to Sam, "Let's go."
And so we did, we left. Somewhere with lots of grass eh? That's easy.
And so we arrived at Albertsons park.
"You sure it's here?' Sam asked.
"Maybe." I said.
Albertsons park is a very wide open place with lots of grass. There were also trees that had leaves that spread out over most of the area. And it had the perfect amount of shade, it was greeny. Over a ways to the south was where Madame Deidre's hut was. On the weekends I think? she would sell the crafts she made on little tables outside her hut. Over to the north was where the old stone ruins of the old Albertsons stood. A long time ago the old stone ruins weren't actually ruins! (:o) It was a working store. But then one day a bunch of little kids decided to dress up like cannibals and burn the place down. No one's sure if it was on purpose or just an accident (most people believe it was mostly an accident). I hoped the rubber chicken was not hidden in the ruins, as...um Me and Sam had some weird experiences with it last year.
Me and Sam started looking around, after a few minutes I got another text, "there is something broken nearby" it said.
"Do you see anything broken?" Sam asked.
I looked around, "ummm Albertsons might count. But if not..." I pulled the shotgun out of Sams picnic basket, and blew up a nearby phone booth. "There."
And so we kept searching, until another text came by, "there are delicious apples nearby" it said.
"Carly." Sam said.
"What."
"Theres no apples near here."
"augh shut up." I mumbled.
So what did we do? We decided to ask Madame Deidre for help.
We knocked on her hut door, and she answered it, "Hello hipsters. What can I do for you?"
We told her about the rubber chicken hunt and told her the clues.
"Sounds like Garden Way." She said.
"Where's that?"
She pulled out a map of the town. "Right here Soul sistah." She pointed at a street behind the mall a few blocks.
"Ok thanks." I said.
And we started heading there.
Now by this point you're probably like "Gee whiz how long is this chapter going for? Is she almost done blabbing?" So for your sake I'll skip the run in we had with the sea anemone selling the cursed tea pot.
But anyways after that was dealt with we arrived at Garden Way Lane. It was decently beautiful. There were flower petals floating around everywhere. The street was lined with fruit trees, the sidewalk was covered with grass, about halfway down the lane on the north side, was a small hill that was woven with different plants/flowers and paths that lead up to the top where a GIANT greenhouse was situated.
"Where do we look?" I asked.
"I don't know, I can't see anything with all these flower petals in my face." Sam said.
Bob Jr. Sneezed.
"Look for something broken." I suggested.
We spent a good hour looking around for it, finally I nearly gave up. Then I noticed something. The whole street was filled with bright colours. Except for one little shop in the middle of the left side of the street. It was a garage. I pointed at it to Sam who nodded and followed.
Bob Jr. Sneezed.
In contrast to the rest of the street, this shop was...It was steampunky, the garage was lined with gears and saws. There was an unfinished car turned upside down and other half finished inventions and stuff.
"I think we're close." I said.
Bob Jr. Sneezed.
"Hello, is anyone here?" I asked.
"oh yes." A voice answered and a guy stepped out, "Are you guys here for the rubber chicken chase?" he asked.
I nodded, he introduced himself as Ricky Neeter. Similar to Narmoni, he also looked like a nerd. Only slightly fatter. Not fat though. And he had green hair.
"Yes we are actually. Where is it?" I asked. Straight to the point.
"Oh, you have to find it."
Bob Jr. Sneezed.
I slumped my shoulders, "Look, we don't ha-"
"Found it!" Sam said. She held it up, it looked like Narmoni but in duck form.
"Good job." Ricky said.
We talked with him for a few more minutes, then I noticed the time.
"Ahh, we g2g! Fredwards going to be waiting for us on Gary's farm."
We said goodbye then left.
"So how many more rubber chickens do we need anyway to appease Fredward?
"After this one, 3 actually." we tap danced.
Bob Jr. Exploded.
"AAHHH!" I screamed "HOW WILL WE DO OUR SHOW NOW?"
To be continued.
Part 24 iMake a web show
So as you know, the last chapter ended in quite a cliff hanger. But before I can tell you what happened next, I want to spend this chapter talking about how chickens are white and how great white is. Yeeeaahhh nothing racist about that at all.
You know what? Nvm.
In truth we just THOUGHT Bob Jr. had exploded. But in reality, he just sneezed so hard his feathers fell off.
"AAHH Bob Jr?" I said.
We hid him in Sams picnic basket and then ran back to Gary's (boss's) farm.
"We can't put him on our show like this!" Sam said.
"Maybe we can use one of Gary's chickens and say it's ours."
"Oh ya good idea." Then we ran into Fredward. "Ow."
"Fredward!" Sam said, "Good to see you, but we have a problem."
"What?" he asked.
We showed him Bob Jr.
"Oh don't worry about that, I'm good at special effects. I'll just put some feathers on him while I edit it."
"Oh you're a lifesaver, kid." I said. So we all headed into the main barn where a stage set up. Unfortunately the stage was taken up by a bunch of hillbillies, who were playing the harmonica, banjo, and tambourine. They called themselves "The Haystacks of Harmony." I remembered seeing them last year.
"All right clear out, we need this stage for our show." I said. But they didn't seem to hear us.
"GERROUT" I yelled.
Then I noticed they had disappeared. "All right, that worked. Let's go."
So we set up the stage and then stood there. Fredward set up the camera and then said, "All right, we're shooting."
I then launched into my routine. "Hi fan people. I'm iCarly and today were going to introduce a special new friend!" Fredward threw Bob Jr onto the stage. "Yees it's our new friend, Bob Jr."
We introduced Bob Jr, then eventually finished the webisode. "Cut" Fredward said when we were all done.
Me and Sam tap danced. Then Fredward said "You know this whole PETA thing actually has been very good for business. Our viewer rate has tripled since you did that last episode. With all the PETA people watching and whatnot. All right, I'll edit this, add feathers to Bob Jr, and then post it. See you later!" He left.
"So now what?" Sam asked.
"I think we should...visit Slim? There's nothing else to do."
And so we did. We arrived at the mall soon enough.
"Hey Slim, so, nice chicken feed you got there." I said, looking at the nice chicken feed we had helped make.
"Yes, but regrettably I think, it's missing 1 last ingredient."
"What?" Sam asked. She was standing on her head. I decided I'd out do her and stand on Slims head.
"Get off my head please." Slim said. "Anyways back to business. People say I'm not sweet enough, so I'm afraid the chicken won't want to eat this chicken feed when I try to feed it to her."
"So you want us to get something sweet eh?" I said shrewdly.
"Yes. And I have the perfect idea for what it needs."
"What."
MISSION BRIEFING: "On an exotic island just 15-30 minutes out to sea, lies an exotic island. (:o) On the south end of this island, lies an ancient volcano fortress. Inside the ancient volcano fortress lies an old hermit who uses the ancient fortress forges to make pasta dishes. Yes, I want you to go visit this hermit and ask him for a small dish of sweet spaghetti."
"What? That's going to take forever!" I said.
"Not forever, no." he said, "Remember last year I sent you down to that harbor a few times? That's where you should go. Rent a ship and head due east-west, you should reach the island within 15-30 minutes. plz thx."
So we walked away, "Do you remember how to get to the harbor?" I asked Sam.
"Yes, we traveled east-west on bikes which took about a half hour"
"I don't think we have bikes." I said. Then I looked on the ground. We were walking in the middle of the street and I noticed a manhole on the ground that had 4 letters, "LWEB."
"Do you suppose if we went down this manhole, and floated down the sewers, it would lead to the sea?"
"No I think it leads to a bunch of plants."
"I guess we'll just have to hitchhike." So we stood in the road until we nearly got run over. A guy stepped out of the truck and started yelling at us, "WHAT ARE YOU KIDS DOIN? STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET.."
"We need to go to the harbor." I said.
"Huh, that's where I'm going." he said, suddenly stopping yelling. "Fine, get in the back of my pickup and I'll take you there."
"NO! That's dangerous! We have to sit in the front." Surprised at his lack of safety knowledge.
He grumbled but he let us sit in the front.
We had another very meaningful conversation with him about twilight.
Soon we arrived at the harbor.
The harbor was populated by a bunch of tough and rough looking people. We looked around for a boat. And soon we found one. It was parked by the docks, go figure.
"Does anyone owns know who this ship?" I asked random passerbys.
"Captain Bark." someone replied finally.
"Captain Bark?" I said.
"Right here missy," I turned around to come face to face with Captain Bark, "What are you doing here in me shipping place."
Captain Bark had wooden fingers and a monocle. He also had a wooden staff which he was leaning on.
"We were wondering if you could take us to the...um the exotic island 15-30 minutes south of here." Sam said.
"Aaahhh Puking Parka island?"
"Puking Parka Island?" I said, "What kind of name is that?"
"Eh that's the nickname. It used to be the military base of the Parkas, until a disease got them which made them all puke up purple goo."
"What? That disease? wait, is this island haunted?"
"Nah, they all died off. It was a long time ago. The purple goo got cleaned up. They found out how to turn it into a fertile feritlizer for crops. It's now been inhabited by a few generations of another clan. Well yup I can take you there if you want."
Sam and I agreed and we got onto his ship. Captain Bark turned on the sound system and we started listening to heavy metal rock.
Captain Bark started "barking" along. it was very annoying so I switched the radio station to a different station. Unfortunately it was the 24/7 my little pony program. "They have a radio station for this too?" I asked.
"Yup, it's very popular. Even with the normal folk." Bark said. Then he turned it back to the rock station.
Soon we arrived at Puking Parka Beach. Captain Bark explained the locals liked it being referred to as the East-West Sea Island.
So we docked and stepped onto the beach.
"Well." Bark said, "This is where I'll be seeing you off. I'm going to be late for dinner." he said.
"Wait! How will we get off?" I asked.
"You can always take the land bridge." he pointed to his right to a giant concrete bridge that connected the island to the mainland.
"Oh." I said. "Thanks." I turned to Sam, "Let's go." I looked up at the fortress, clear on the other side of the island. There was a dense jungle in our way.
So we headed into the jungle. I slashed at things with my nail file. Suddenly Bob Jr. Jumped out of Sams picnic basket.
"Bob Jr! I forgot you were there!" I stuffed him back in. I kept slashing at plants with my nail file. I must have looked pretty indiana jonesey. I'm sure Rikimi would be proud. Eventually we reached the base of the volcano fortress. It was so embellished. We walked around until we found the entrance. The entrance had blue lace and a chalkboard sign with pasta prices and todays specials. We walked into the entrance and found ourselves in a large atrium that had forges lining the back wall. There was a hermit standing near one of them. He looked around at us and walked up to us. He looked more like a chef then a hermit.
"Hello ladies, what are you here for?"
"Hello. Nice place you've got here. I looked at the tables set up. There was a few people sitting in them. I recognized one of them as Mrs. Rowley. She was eating dinner with a dog. It must have been her pet.
"We're here for the sweet spaghetti." Sam said.
"All right, one sweet spaghetti coming up." He said.
He walked up to a cabinet that was filled with different types of noodles. He picked out some white noodles with red spots, threw them in a pot, threw the pot into one of the forges. Waited a few minutes. Did some other fancy stuff. I started getting distracted by a green glowing fly. Then he walked up to us and presented us with a dish. "Here ya go." He said.
We tried to pay him but he said since it was such a simple nooby dish he didn't accept pay for it.
So we left. We found a trail leading back to the front of the island so we didn't have to hack any more. Which was good because I was expecting any moment, for a guy to step out claiming he was from the forest protection league and suing us.
Then we took the land bridge back. It was getting late. The sun was going down but it was kind of pretty being in the middle of a sea with orange light reflecting everywhere. I decided to take a picture of Sam and Bob Jr. standing on the side of the land bridge. But they fell in just as I took the picture. It was HILLARIOUS.
"Why did you shove us overboard?" Sam asked once they had gotten back on the land.
"lololollOLOLOloLoll this is the funniest picture EVAH! What did you say?" I looked at her.
But she didn't answer me instead she pulled me in.
"Great, the cameras toast now." I said.
Soon we arrived back at the harbor where we couldn't find a ride so we walked back to the town on foot. Which took longer than I would have liked but we arrived at Slims a few minutes after the sun went down.
"Hey Slim, we got your Sweet Spaghetti!"
"Awesome." he said and handed us $2.
"Don't we get a golden star?"
"My friend, I don't just give golden stars out for ANYTHING!"
"ah." I said.
"Thank you so much though. This really makes me happy. You 2 should go to bed though, it's getting late."
"Yes. Thank you." I said and we headed back to Gary's coworker's boss's farm.
But before we went to bed we just HAD to see how our web show turned out. I pulled it up on my phone.
"And noooww it's time for the iCarly and Sam show!" the announcer said. I appeared on the screen.
"Hi fan people. I'm iCarly and today were going to introduce a special new friend!" I said. Suddenly a crude looking white chicken appeared between me and Sam. It looked like this
imgur (period) com (slash) 4U2PimR
"Yees it's our new friend, Bob Jr." I said. A clap track started.
"So Bob jr. What's your favorite colour?" I asked him.
The pictures mouth started moving as it answered us in "bawk bawk."
"Really? Yellow? Thats awesome!" Sam said.
"So as you can see any PETA people that are watching. I am being nice to Bob Jr. and" I went on with my appeasel speal.
"Wow." I said in real life, "That Fredwards awesome with the special effects."
