Unbidden Memories
by lalaluu
Author Note: Standard Disclaimer Applies. Okay, so this was originally supposed to be from three different points of view – Andrew, his mother, and Snape – but I had writer's block on this chapter and, to fill it out, I wrote a little Harry-Ron-Hermione scene. I'm keeping it in because I think it's funny and it rounds out their personalities for this story at least. Thanks to reviewers – cecelle, dalamis, Little Tigger, and Shahrezad1.
AN 12/22/04:Updated because cecelle makes a good point. Can you spot the changed word?
Chapter 8
Emotions Are For The Weak
"You know better than to fight with Malfoy, Potter."
"Yes, sir."
"If he accosts you again on the way to my office, simply say that you have detention with me."
"Yes, sir."
Potter looked at his feet, apparently avoiding eye contact. Severus sighed. Tonight's lesson was not destined to go well.
"Are you ready to begin?"
Potter shook his head. Severus sighed again. "What now?"
"I can't," came a defiant voice from underneath the shaggy, black hair.
"Can't?" Severus' voice was dangerous.
"I'm too tired." Potter sighed heavily.
"We'll just have to make sure you're rested up when you next meet the Dark Lord." Severus's eyes bored holes through the top of Potter's head.
The boy slowly raised his head and looked his professor in the eye. Nodding once, he said, "All right, Professor. I'm ready."
Andrew entered the Slytherin common room only to see Draco look at him and stomp away. Sighing, he followed the blonde, determined to get Draco's temper-tantrum over with and out of the way. He knocked before entering Draco's room and silently closed the door behind him. The Head Boy had his back turned to the door and was staring out the magically charmed window. (They were in the dungeons after all.)
After a while, Andrew cleared his throat. Not really to speak. He didn't quite know what to say. 'Draco, you're an ass'? 'Draco, you can't walk around like you own the place, because you don't'? Neither would go over well.
"What did you think you were doing?"
"What?"
"You're supposed to stick up for me!"
Andrew frowned. "I…"
"And don't try to make excuses!"
"What did you want me to do? Help you beat him up?"
Draco glared at him. He rolled his eyes and said in a more normal tone of voice, "You could have at least used an interesting spell on him."
Andrew frowned even deeper. "I don't have anything against him."
"Why the hell not?!"
"What do you mean…"
"What do I mean?! Honestly, can't you see what's going on?"
Andrew waited.
"Fine. I'll tell you. He's the bloody saint of Gryffindor house!"
Andrew stared back.
"They let him get away with all sorts of crap and everyone still fawns over him. He's a frickin' bloody hero, after all!"
"So, you're jealous?"
Draco's face reddened. "I am not jealous!" he ground out.
"Fine, you're not jealous, but you sure do act like it. And you know what?"
Draco made a face. "What?" he spit back.
"You really don't have any reason to be."
Draco looked at him incredulously. "Really?" he drawled.
"Yeah, you don't really want to have all that pressure on you, do you?"
Draco's contenance turned from menacing to confused.
"I mean – toface Voldemort and all."
Draco's face returned to its normal pale and then some. "Yes, well…"
Andrew sighed. "Look, it may not seem fair to you and in some way, it's probably not, but you've got to cut the guy some slack. He's not really a saint, you know. It's gotta be hard living up to everyone's expectations of you."
Draco swallowed hard. "Yeah," he whispered.
"And if it really comes down to defending you against spurious assailants, I'm on your side every time."
"Really?"
Andrew smiled. "Absolutely."
Severus Snape eyed his pensieve distastefully. He had still not replaced any of the memories he had removed for Potter's last Occlumency lesson. He reminded himself that it was probably better to leave them where they were than to put them back into his head. However, the Headmaster had wisely ordered him to restore the memories often, citing that it would be more difficult the longer he waited to do so. So, in his normally stubborn vein, Severus left them where they were. One more day wouldn't hurt, would it?
Sighing, he wondered what to do about Potter. His skill at Occlumency was progressing, if slowly, but the boy's emotional control seemed nearly non-existent. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Severus sat in his large leather chair behind his desk and turned to look out the window at the setting sun. Noting that this was one luxury he did not have whilst in the dungeons, his thoughts turned to Draco Malfoy. Severus frowned and ironically noted that Hogwart's Head Boy had nearly the same problem. How one could be so insanely jealous of Harry Potter of all people was beyond the former potions teacher. However, not everyone knew Potter as well as he did. Not everyone saw past the veil of celebrity and past their own hero worship.
When Headmaster Albus Dumbledore entered the office sometime later, he found his Defense Against the Dark Arts professor lost in thought and staring out the window.
Severus sighed. Albus had insisted that he return his memories to his head and, after a distracted dinnertime and several hours of tossing, he was still trying to sort through the thoughts in his head. Normally his skill at Occlumency helped him to do this quite easily and quickly. However, he had no interest in entertaining these thoughts, leastways examining them closely enough to put them in order.
The first Hogsmeade weekend of the year was approaching and Severus was nervously pacing back and forth in a deserted alcove near the Charms classroom. He had no reason to be nervous. He had asked girls out to Hogsmeade before. This girl was no different really, except that she was intelligent and interesting. Yes, not pretty or beautiful or breathtaking, like he thought she must be – the woman of his dreams, that is. Just…interesting.
Severus took some deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heartbeat. It's only a mutual trip to visit Hogsmeade. I can show her around. Certainly she's not familiar with the town and needs an escort. It doesn't really have to be a date, does it? This line of thinking was much better than he anticipated. He decided to go with it.
Noise from down the hall reached him and he stopped, appearing to be waiting calmly. However, his heart still mutinously raced.
"Emmaline?"
"Severus."
He tried to suppress the smile on his face, but it only made him grimace spectacularly.
"Is something wrong?"
"No," he said shortly, shaking his head a little too hard. "I was just thinking, would you like for me to show you around Hogsmeade this weekend?"
She was staring at him – no, she was studying him. He resisted the urge to gulp. It would have been loud.
A small smile accompanied, "That would be nice."
However much he resisted it, a grin broke out on his own face. Nodding he could only smile back dumbly until the girl looked over her shoulder, noticing the empty hallway.
"I'm going to be late to my next class."
"Go on then."
"Bye." The smile she left him with was brilliant. I must make her smile like that more often, he thought.
Andrew had somehow ditched Draco – he seemed to be busy fending off Pansy Parkinson's advances during dinner – and followed Ginny out of the Great Hall.
"Over here," a voice said as a hand reached out and pulled him behind a tapestry into a dimly lit hallway.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"So…"
"Yeah."
"Ginny, I…"
"Andrew…"
They both laughed. "Ladies first, Ginny."
She smiled and Andrew thought it was a sight that should be framed and hung in a fine art museum.
But then she frowned.
"What is it?"
"Well, there's a Hogsmeade weekend coming up and I wanted to go with you, but…"
"You don't have to officially go with me. We can just meet up in town."
"Really? You don't mind not officially having a date?"
"God, no, not if it means I can actually spend time with you."
Ginny blushed.
"I said that out loud didn't I?"
"Umhmm," Ginny nodded.
"I must remember to do that more often," he said. Somehow, his hand had found its way to her hair and was fingering a strand that had fallen over her shoulder. As he found himself leaning slightly forward, he heard footsteps and a voice furiously hissing, "Logan! Andrew, where are you?"
Andrew sighed when Ginny jumped away at the sound of Draco's voice.
"So I'll see you in town on Saturday."
She nodded mutely.
"Bye then." Impulsively, he leaned down and quickly kissed her on the cheek before ducking back out from behind the tapestry and running to catch up with Draco.
"So, how are the lessons going with Snape this time around?"
"Better."
"Really?"
"Yes, really." Harry smiled at his best friend.
"So, you up for Quidditch practice then, mate?"
"Sure, Ron. Let's go get our brooms."
Entering the Gryffindor common room, the two boys were accosted by an irate female.
"Where have you two been?"
"Um…" Ron looked to Harry for support.
"Walking."
"That's all you've got?" Ron whispered to Harry, incredulously.
Harry shrugged nonchalantly. Hermione's eyes were narrowed into thin slits. Her hands were strategically placed on her hips – within easy reach of her wand. Her normally bushy hair was wildly flying. Yep, Harry thought, you just have to take what's coming. No getting around it.
"We have three essays due at the beginning of next week and this weekend we'll be in Hogsmeade all Saturday and you'll play with whatever toys you bought on Sunday. You'll not get any studying done at all, so you'd better start now."
"Merlin, Hermione, it's only Thursday afternoon…ouch!" Ron stopped whining abruptly when Harry elbowed him.
"You're right, Hermione. Let me go get my books."
"But, Harry! We were gonna…" Ron trailed off at the look Hermione gave him. Ever since she had gotten the Head Girl badge, she had been determined to prove not only herself worthy of the title, but was also dragging her best friends kicking and screaming with her. Harry might not say it out loud, but Ron knew he'd rather be flying than writing essays. Wisely keeping his mouth shut, Ron turned and went up the boys' staircase to find his books. He sighed and shook his head before opening the door to his dorm room. He and Harry weren't even dating anyone and they were so whipped.
