I am getting this out to you guys today because after tomorrow morning I am going to be locked in my room watching Twilight OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN! So you may thank me now : P

I had such a large response to the little mini-chapter! And to be honest, I am just as excited as you guys to get some Bella and Edward time. A lot of you were also interested in where I got my samples of Twilight scents. I have put the link under my profile so hopefully it works. I think I am liking Jasper's scent….A LOT!

Songs in this chapter: "Crush" by David Archuleta and "The Night Will Go As Follows" by Spill Canvas. Links are on my profile as usual.

Disclaimer: I am waiting for someone to claim they own Twilight….and then I will join them in lala land.

Chapter 9

E

It was impossible to avoid her. Everyone I cared to hang out with was gone for the week, and there were no classes or practice until Monday. I had another awkward moment with her when we ran into each other at breakfast. I padded into the kitchen and was only mildly surprised to see she was already awake. She had a bowl of cereal in front of her and the box sat next to an empty bowl across from her.

I just stood there like an idiot while she was looking up at me. Her hair was pulled back in a messy knot on the back of her head, and a few strands fell around her face. As always, she was not wearing any kind of makeup that I could see…and as always she made me forget to breathe.

After a moment she gave me a smirk and pointed to the bowl meant for me with her spoon. I sat down and gave her a grateful smile while I poured my cereal. We sat in comfortable silence. I think she was enjoying the emptiness of the house as much as I was. For once, I was the first to speak. "What? No elaborate omelets? No French toast and bacon?" I teased her with my words and a smile.

She snickered and blushed, dropping her eyes to her breakfast. "I am feeling lazy today, sorry." The smile in her voice told me wasn't sorry at all. Good for her.

Her dog was under the table and I heard him let out a very human sounding snort. Bella ignored him and took a sip of her orange juice. "So what's on your agenda for today?" I looked out the kitchen window and sighed at the rain pouring down. "Is it as cold out there as it looks?" I knew she had to at least been outside long enough to let her mutt out. Her little nose wrinkled as she glanced out the window as well. "It's pretty chilly."

"I guess it's a day of catch-up and studying for me." I honestly needed to spend the whole week working on my assignments, but my non-existent interest in chemical engineering was weighing me down. I thought of my classes back in Maryland. They were no less challenging, but at least they were in a subject I was interested in.

Bella finished her cereal and took her bowl to the sink. I watched her movements as discretely as possible, not wanting to creep her out with my observing. "I think I will catch up on some stuff as well, but I wasn't lying to Alice…I need to work on our routine. It's not the one for the next game, but its giving me a lot of trouble."

"What's difficult about it?" I wasn't trying to be condescending, I was simply curious. She seemed to dance as if it was second nature, sometimes even better than she could walk. She turned to face me, leaning against the counter. "The ending is…tricky." Her hands moved as she tried to explain the complicated steps…but I had no idea what the hell she was talking about.

"…and when I fall back someone will be there to catch me, but I tense up every time and I get so nervous that the last steps leading up to the finish are all messed up."

I got up to take my cereal bowl to the sink as well. I was pleased to see she moved over to make room for me, but didn't move too far away. "Let me get this straight: basically you having these complicated moves leading up to some sort of acrobatic finish but you don't trust whoever is there to catch you?"

She shook her head. "Its not that I don't trust them…I know in my head that they will catch me, but my body thinks differently when that moment comes."

I pondered that for a moment. "Is there anything I can do to help?" I didn't know what the fuck I could possibly do to help her dance routine, but I was sure as hell going to try. Her grateful smile was worth it. "Thanks, but I think I will just try warming up with something relaxing before I practice the hard parts…see if it gets my head on straight." She crossed her arms and bit her lip as she looked at me. She always looked like this before she was about to ask me something. It made me want to laugh, because it didn't matter what she was asking me…she was nervous no matter what. I knew she wasn't afraid of me, so I patted myself on the back for getting her all flustered.

"What music do you listen to? Before a game I mean," she finally asked. I mimicked her pose, crossing my arms and leaning back on the counter. I noticed her eyes flicker to my arms and I bit the inside of my mouth to keep from grinning as she blushed and looked back towards the floor. "Well, it's not usually relaxing. I listen to some really loud hard-rock songs. You know, stuff with a lot of screaming and testosterone."

She laughed and I melted. She really had no idea how that sound made my day. "So you listen to Man-Music?" I laughed and shrugged. "It gets me pumped for the game, and then I get focused…almost tunnel vision."

"Do you feel like you work best under pressure? Is that how you got in trouble a lot in the past?"

I felt my smile slip slightly and she saw that. "Oh God, I am sorry…it's none of my business…."

"No, its okay. I don't mind. I just never looked at it that way before." This was true. I felt like when the chips were down, I did my best work. That's why I put off my school work until the last minute. My best essays were always done after an all-nighter. "I think that's one reason I came to UW. I knew that people wouldn't exactly be thrilled to have me here, but I think the opposition is why I pushed myself into sticking with it." I turned my head to her to see that she was looking at me carefully, her brown eyes open with curiosity. I gave her a grin. "You are very observant." That got another blush.

"I have been writing down a lot of stuff lately. It makes me think and I can write with a lot more feeling behind it…but then sometimes my mouth let's everything out when I don't mean to." She grinned back at me. I raised my eyebrows. "You are a writer?" She shrugged modestly. "I write some things, I hope to be a writer someday, but we'll see."

"Can I read some of what you wrote?" I was really only half serious…maybe mostly serious. She jerked her head up and her eyes widened. "No! I mean…" she blushed again as she stammered over her words. I couldn't help but tease her further. I uncrossed my arms and leaned closer to her. "Bella? Did you write about me?" I couldn't help but laugh as she turned almost scarlet and glanced away. "No!" She's lying! Oh man, I was enjoying this!

She turned around and walked towards the stairs. "I should really write….my essay! I need to write an essay…for class." She stumbled into the doorway and muttered something under her breath. I put my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing. She didn't turn back around, but I could see the blush creeping up on the back of her neck.

*****************

A few hours later I was ready to jump out my window. The day was still just as gloomy as that morning, but the weatherman gave me hope that the night would be clear and mild. My school assignments were getting done, but at he expense of my worn-out brain. This is a shitty way to spend fall break.

I was tapping my foot to the beat of the music before I even realized that the music wasn't coming from my room. I sat up and listened more closely to the muted sounds. From what I could tell, it was coming from downstairs. That meant Bella had finished her "essay" and she was probably in the dance-room. I smiled when I thought of the look on her face as I teased her. I hoped she didn't get too offended by my behavior. I needed to tread really fucking lightly in this situation….kid gloves and all that shit.

The beat that my feet tapped to was fairly slow. That was unusual when it comes to their dance routines. I was already used to hearing heavy heart-pumping music when they practiced or worked out. This had me intrigued. She must be playing a song to relax her, like she had told me at breakfast. I got up and walked over to the door. I would just open it and try to identify the song…then I would go back to my homework. I nodded to myself and stepped out into the hallway, listening to the melody. I recognized the song almost immediately. It was played on the radio so much anyone would know what it was. I thought her choice of music was interesting….and I couldn't stop myself from moving to the stairs.

What the fuck am I doing?

I don't know what the hell happened to just stepping out into the hall for a second, but here I was….creeping down the stairs and around the corner towards the work-out room. The music was louder now and I saw it was because the door was slightly ajar. I should go back up to my room now. Walk away Edward.

But there was my hand, pushing the door further open, inch by inch. I craned my neck to take a peek through the gap, praying that I wasn't about to get screamed at for being a fucking peeping tom. I saw a flash of a hand move in the light coming from the windows on the opposite wall. Looking in further I saw that Bella was facing away from me at the moment. She was wearing a tight blue t-shirt and fitted black pants. Her small feet were bare and her hair was piled up onto her head. I sucked in my breath and held it, trying to keep as quiet as possible. She reached down and touched her toes, stretching her muscles and giving me a view that nearly knocked me to my knees. After a moment she slowly rose back up and reached over her head and leaned towards the floor. Her shirt rode up and showed a decent expanse of pale skin. Her pants rode low on the swell of her hip bones. How can that girl make work-out clothes look that damn sexy?

David Archuleta- "Crush"

I barely heard the lyrics to the song as I stepped quietly into the room. My footsteps were masked by the soft mats on the floor and the beat of the music. When the chorus started, she began to move.

I froze as she stepped gracefully forward, pause, then step backwards. She stepped sideways, staying with the beat. It reminded me of a waltz. Her arms were held out slightly, flowing with her movements. When she took her third step she spun in a small circle, her head thrown back and her arms raised higher. I felt my muscles relax slightly when I saw her eyes were shut, a small smile on her face.

She moves like an angel.

I was rooted to the ground, unable to wisely seek my escape as she danced closer to me. I was only a few short feet away, and she had no idea I was there. She paused in her steps, and then made another move that put her within inches of me. I felt my heart beat loudly, my eyes felt heavy and my mind and body were under her spell.

"Do you ever think, when you're all alone…all that we could be? Where this thing could go?"

I took a small step forward, breathing as lightly as possible. I could smell her perfume that I knew was nothing bought from a store. It was all Bella. I looked down to her face, my lips just a minuscule distance away from her skin. I reached up a hand as she paused in her movements…wanting to bury my fingers into all that dark hair. When she took a step backwards I followed her. She kept to the same waltz-like pattern: step forward, step back…move to the side and spin. I mirrored her steps, moving my body in the pattern right along with her. I kept myself within centimeters from her body. I knew one wrong step and I would be caught but I was unable to keep away from her. When she moved to make her spin I stepped back just out of her reach, then returned to our dance.

She looked so peaceful in that moment, more relaxed than I have ever seen her while dancing. I was caught up in absorbing every small detail and it took a moment for me to realize that the music was fading to a close. I forced myself to step away and move towards the doorway before she opened her eyes. When I stepped outside the room I pulled the door almost all the way shut and leaned up against the wall next to it. My breath was shaking as I took deep lung-fulls of oxygen. My forehead felt clammy and I wipe my hand across it, moving up to clench my hair.

I didn't even fucking touch her.

I just had the most intense moment in my life, and it took a few damn minutes to calm myself down. The music suddenly changed to something faster paced and I almost jumped in response. She must be getting down to business now. I didn't want to process my feelings in that moment. I knew if I tried to put a name to it or analyze it to death I would freak myself out and stay locked in my room for the whole week. I acted on impulse again and shoved off the wall and moved back to the door. I didn't peek in first this time, but rapped my knuckles against the wood a few times, loud enough to be heard over the music. After a second, the stereo switched off and I heard her small footsteps as she came to the door.

She pulled open the door and looked surprised to see me there. So I guess my stealth paid off. "Hi," she squeaked nervously. I tried not to smile too much, no need to freak her out. But my concentration made me forget to greet her back. She looked down at her feet and then back up to me. "Did you need the room?" I blinked at her stupidly for a second before answering. "Oh, no. No, I just thought…did you want to have dinner with me?"

She looked confused for a second. "Don't we usually have dinner together?" Shit. She was right. Anytime we were home for dinner we all ate together. I worked to save my dignity and not look like a fucking idiot. Why did I not think about this first?

"I mean, I want to cook dinner for you. Would that be okay?" At least my voice didn't crack like a pre-pubescent boy. Her smile started to widen. "You can cook?" I narrowed my eyes at her amusement. "I have been known to throw a few things together, yeah." I wasn't a complete waste of space for Christ's sake. She pursed her lips to keep her smile under control and I decided I didn't mind if she made fun of me, as long as she kept smiling.

"It won't be as good as what you make, but I promise it will be tolerable." I gave her what I hoped was a flirty grin. It worked.

She blushed and tucked her head down to try to hide it. I loved that.

"Dinner would be nice." Her voice still had a smile in it and it was almost too quiet for me to hear. "Great. Is there anything you don't like?"

She shook her head. "Anything would be fine. Thank you." I was really hoping that she would give me a clue as to what to make, but Bella seemed like she was a girl of simple tastes. I really liked that in a woman. "Sure. I'll see you later then?" She nodded and smiled and I returned it before walking towards the stairs. That brief intense dancing moment with her had sparked all kinds of impulsive behavior. Part of my mind was on what I would cook tonight, but there was something I had to take care of first. I was extremely grateful the house was empty since I was practically fucking skipping as I walked. Thank God Jazz can't see me now.

I walked into my room and sat down at my desk. For the first time I wished I hadn't burned my guitar. I took out a notebook and turned it to a blank page. My fingers were humming in anticipation as I began scrawling words and notes across the page. It was going to be just a draft, but when I got my hands on a guitar or piano…I was going to start writing songs again. There was no grief, no guilt or pain…just excitement and I fucking basked in it. It was a feeling I didn't experience that often, and I would hold onto my Bella-side effects for as long as possible.

B

I stared nervously in the mirror. I didn't know why I was making such a big deal about how I looked. It was just dinner with my roommate and we weren't even leaving the house. I smoothed my hair the best I could and straightened my blue sweater. Alice once told me it was a flattering shirt and I kept that in mind as I picked out my outfit. Instead of going for the black slacks she chose to go with it, I decided to keep it casual with dark jeans. I was tempted to try and apply some makeup, but without Alice here to supervise and direct it could end up being a disaster.

I looked over to Jake who was staring at me expectantly. He had been patiently watching me all afternoon as I wrote endless pages in my notebook. And yes…Edward was right….it was mostly about him. While I would never admit it, the story I was scribbling down was based on the emotions he evoked in me.

Jake whined at me. "Sorry buddy, you need to stay up here tonight." He gave me his best pouting big-eyed look. I sighed and scratch his ears. "I love you Jake, but I need some human time this evening." I don't know why I felt the need to explain my actions to a dog, but I always talked to him like he was my best friend.

With one final deep breath for courage, I closed the bedroom door and padded down the stairs, only stumbling once. I hardly blushed anymore when I did that…it was almost expected every time I stepped foot on those stairs. The smells coming from the kitchen were surprisingly mouth-watering, but when I walked in, there was no food within view. I heard soft music and the clink of silverware coming from the other room. The French doors were open, allowing the soft music from the stereo to float onto the porch. I slowly stepped through the doorway and my brows rose in surprise.

Edward was bent over the patio table, dishing out portions of lasagna onto two plates. A bowl of salad sat next to each plate and a few candles flickered in the center of the table between the two place settings. It was not much different looking from a lot of nights we all spent out here during dinner, but for some reason knowing Edward set this up for just us made the atmosphere very different. He must have seen me from the corner of his eye and he turned to me as he finished serving the delicious smelling food. A crooked smile bloomed across his face and it felt like the air was full of electricity. I could only stand there, frozen at the sensation and trying to not stare at him too intently. He was wearing a maroon colored button down shirt with jeans, casual but cleaned up. He had the sleeves rolled up on his arms and I restrained myself from letting my eyes focus on the muscles underneath his pale skin.

He broke the silence first, almost startling me as I broke from my reverie. "You look nice." I blushed, of course, and shrugged. I was torn between being pleased at the compliment and embarrassed that he noticed my extra effort. "Thanks, so do you." He shrugged as well gesturing towards to the table. "I hope this is okay. The weather cleared up and I thought it would be nice to take advantage of it." I nodded in agreement. The air was cool, but not uncomfortably so.

Edward pulled out a chair and looked at me expectantly. I moved forward, stumbling a little in the process. He chuckled quietly and pushed my chair in before sitting across from me. I laid my napkin on my lap and looked at the pasta in front of me. "I hope you like lasagna. Its one thing that I learned how to make when I was younger that passed as edible."

I took a small bite…and then closed my eyes and moaned. "Edward! This is more than just edible… this is fantastic!" I took a larger bite and let the flavors melt over my tongue. The spices of the sauce and cheeses were incredible and I had to seriously concentrate on not inhaling the wonderful concoction. When he was quite for too long I looked up at him. He hadn't taken his first bite yet; instead he was watching me with a strange look on his face. His eyes were hooded and he looked almost tense. I wiped my mouth with my napkin self-consciously. "Is something wrong?" I asked nervously. He shook his head slightly, as if trying to clear it and then took a bite of his food. "No, I just think that's the most enthusiastic response I have ever had for my lasagna." When I blushed and ducked my head he continued. "Don't be embarrassed. I appreciate your positive criticism." I met his smile with one of my own and we continued with our meal. I think I managed to keep the moans to a minimum.

After a second helping I couldn't eat anymore. Edward had one more serving before pushing back from the table and groaning. "I ate way too much." I laughed at his grumbling. "Well next time don't make something so tasty!" He gave me a smirk and it took me a moment to recover from it. I started to get up with my plate, but he stopped me before I could get out of my chair. He reached for my dishes and snatched them up. "I'll clean up." I started to protest that he cooked dinner so I should clean, but he shook his head. "You do this shit all the time, so let someone else do it for you for a change." He took all the plates and smiled at me before disappearing into the house.

I sipped my soda and looked over the yard. The night was very quiet. In the summer, a rain storm would bring out all sorts of noisy creatures, but in the fall there was nothing but silence after wet weather. The damp air brushed over me and I sighed, completely relaxed. The sound of dishes clanking together was barely heard over the music coming from the living room. I smiled to myself, thinking about the effort that Edward went through to make dinner. Lasagna was a messy dish.

The logical part of my mind told me he had to eat either way, and it was just easier to make dinner for two rather than one. The giddy, smiling little girl inside me tempted me to believe that he went through the trouble just for me. I knew that this week would be a turning point for us. The tension that we had whenever we were in the same room was reaching a bowling point. This week would hopefully smooth that tension over and put us into more comfortable niches. I knew we would become closer after spending a week alone together…but how close was I willing to get?

Edward came back out onto the porch, interrupting my thoughts. He smiled at me and I hoped my thoughts weren't written all over my face. I had an irrational moment and thought how glad I was he couldn't read my mind. He pulled his chair from the opposite side of the table and dragged it over next to mine so we could both look out at the woods. I was almost painfully aware of how close he was.

"Thanks again for dinner." I told him, bravely turning my head to look him in the eyes. He gave me another crooked smile and waved off my gratitude. "It was nothing…thanks for joining me." We turned back to the yard, listening to the music and sitting in contemplative silence. I was grateful he started another conversation.

"So how is the dancing coming along?"

I crossed my legs and leaned further down in the chair. "It's going okay. I practiced a little today and I guess we will see what happens when the time comes." It was still up in the air whether I would be falling flat on my face or not in front of the entire stadium. Luckily we still had a few weeks to practice.

I heard him shift in his seat and I turned to look at him. He seemed to search my face for a moment before asking me a question. "Do you like it?"

"You mean dancing?" He nodded. "Yeah, I really do. Sometimes it's the only thing that makes sense." I swallowed and tried to explain further. "Dancing has always been sort of an escape for me. When life got too hard, I would turn on music and dance. Rosalie and Alice already loved dancing so it brought us even closer together." I couldn't help but smile, thinking of the first few times we danced together. It was almost comical how easily we moved together…the three musketeers.

"When you dance at the games, you seem…." he hesitated and seemed to be searching for a word. "You look through the crowd… and you smile like you are forcing it." He locked eyes with me, and I slightly exposed. I had worked hard to cover how uncomfortable I was in front of crowds, but apparently I hadn't been that successful. "Am I that transparent?" I tried to smile, but I think it came out more like a grimace. Edward looked at me thoughtfully. "Actually, I have a hard time figuring you out most times. You are always surprising me. But when you dance at the games, your smile is different." He shrugged and looked down to his hands. I never realized that he paid that much attention to me.

"I hate dancing in front of crowds…I always have. I do it basically for the scholarship money, but if I could just skip game days that would be so much better." I tried to explain myself further, hoping I was making sense. "I don't like people…well I mean, I don't like strangers…especially men." I gave him an apologetic smile. "I try to just lose myself in the music and block out everything when we perform. Do you think anyone else notices?"

Edward sighed and shook his head slightly. "I seriously doubt anyone can concentrate while you are dancing."

"But you did." My voice was barely above a whisper. He locked his eyes with mine again…his stare was dark and warm. Green…green was warm.

"Yeah." He broke his gaze and ran a hand through his bronze locks. I decided to take advantage of our openness and ask a question hesitantly. "Edward, why didn't you go home for break?"

He glanced back at me briefly before looking across the yard. The silence stretched on, and I regretted asking the question. Just when I thought he wasn't ever going to answer me, his voice cut through the space between us, soft but very masculine. "I haven't been home in a while. My dad kicked me out before I accepted the position at the university here." He paused and I held my breath, hoping he would continue. "After….after her funeral, I sort of went to a dark place in my mind…and I did a lot of things that I regret and my parents couldn't take that shit anymore." He looked back at me then and I almost gasped at the emotions pouring through him. His next words were just a whisper. "Bella, I am not sure I ever came back from that place."

I have never heard someone sound so lost, except in my own mind. I didn't have many memories of happy families, but I always thought that parents are supposed to love their kids unconditionally. My heart broke for Edward, thinking that his parents were complete fools for letting him go. I automatically reached my hand out and placed it over his, squeezing it lightly. "I am sorry I upset you." I felt like I was about to cry, but I pushed it down. I knew he didn't want to see my tears in this moment. He turned his hand over and squeezed it back. "It's okay. I am going to have to face this shit eventually." I gave him a small smile. "Whenever you are ready, I will be here." He looked from our joined hands, back to my face. The pain was still there, but there was also gratitude. "I appreciate that…more than you know."

Edward took a deep breath and let it out loudly. "Is it alright if I ask you why you didn't go home for break?" I knew that he would probably reciprocate my question, so I wasn't thrown off guard. "This is my home now. I spent most of my teenage years living with Alice and her parents, but I still feel like an outsider when they have family stuff going on." I didn't look at his face, but he held my hand tightly as I continued and that gave me strength. "I grew up in Forks with my mom. I never knew my father; he was never in the picture. Mom died when I was eleven and I was put into the foster care system." I felt my throat seize up, and it was a few moments before I could speak again. "After about a year Alice's family took me in and provided for me, even though they could hardly afford it." I felt brave enough to smile up at him. It wasn't a big smile, but it was all I could manage in that moment. His eyes were focused on me, his face full of nothing but concern and encouragement. "I will always be grateful to them and I thank God I was brought into their lives. They saved my life, but its still just so….hard to be around families. You know?"

Edward gave me a brief, wry smile. "Yeah, I don't really do families anymore either."

I sighed and gave a forced laugh. "So now that we are all depressed, wanna go play with knives or run with scissors?"

He blinked at me a moment, and then leaned back in his chair laughing. It was a deep, rich sound that curled my toes. "I think you and sharp objects should stay far away from each other…always." I tried to look offended and pulled my hand back to slap him lightly on the arm. "Hey! I am not that bad!" That was a joke; we both knew that I really was that bad.

"Oh yeah? How long did you sport that bruise after you ran into the door?" He was referring to the first time we met in the athletic building. "Excuse me Mr. Cullen? I believe it was you who slammed the door into me!" He tried to hide his grin and look at me sternly. "No, you ran into the door. And I will have you know that you made that door give me one heck of a bump on the head too."

I let my mouth drop open in indignation. "I did not!" He looked at me with mock seriousness. "You did. I had a huge lump for days…right here." He pointed to a spot on his unmarred forehead, near his hairline. "It hurt really bad."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Oh so it's my fault that you were in pain then?" He nodded solemnly and I shook my head, grinning.

"Fine. If you think that I hurt you, then I will fix it so you can stop whining."

I didn't think about what I did. I leaned over in my chair and pressed my lips against his cool forehead. As soon as I made contact, I froze. It was a moment before I pulled away…and in that moment I reveled in his scent. I knew my eyes were wide and my face shocked as I pulled back to see his reaction. I did not just do that…I did not just do that.

The wave of embarrassment was overwhelming. Edward's face mirrored the shock on my own. His green eyes were wide open, his lips slightly parted. I could feel his breath flow across my face and I started to lean back into my chair. I knew I should be thinking of some excuse or come up with a hasty exit plan, but my mind was crippled with the emotions rolling around inside me.

Before I could move away from him, Edward suddenly reached and cupped my face with both hands. I didn't flinch away, and his eyes looked carefully into mine, as if looking for any sign of fear. I felt a lot of things, but fear wasn't one of them. He seemed satisfied with what he saw. He lowered his eyes briefly to glance at my lips and my heart picked up double time. He stared at me, his gaze penetrating but his touch feather-light. My cheeks felt very warm under his cool touch. He moved in just a fraction of an inch, then stopped. "Bella…" my name whispered from his lips and poured into my soul.

Spill Canvas- "The Night Will Go as Follows"

He was going to kiss me…and I was okay with that. I was more than okay. There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted him to kiss me. I needed him to kiss me. I didn't know what to say…what to do…how to tell him what I wanted. Going on instinct, I reached up and placed my hands on his that were still cupping my face. I licked my lips and tried to tell him with my eyes that I was more than okay.

I saw the recognition filter through his eyes and he gave a ghost of a smile. He rubbed his thumbs across my cheek bones gently, soothing my nerves but doing nothing to stop the racing of my heart. He leaned in infinitesimally. I could feel the electric current floating in the night concentrate in the small space between us. My eyes closed as our noses touched. I felt his lips brush feather-light across mine and I let out a shuttering breath. When he spoke, he was so close his lips moved against mine.

"Is this okay?"

His whisper made me shiver delightfully, and I answered him by pressing my lips against his. He held himself against me for a second, then pulled back a little. I opened my eyes halfway to see him searching my face again. I waited for the panic, hoping that it would never come. I smiled after a moment.

I was still more than okay.

He returned the look, and we were both still smiling when our lips met again. This time he tilted his head and kissed me deeply. I gave in to my secret desire and moved my hands down his solid arms, up his neck and into his soft hair. He let out a quiet moan, and I smiled to myself knowing I was doing something right.

His hands moved from my face and slid down over my shoulders. He wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me closer to him, our chairs protesting as we strained towards each other. Our kisses became heated and I was lost. I was basking in the indescribable feeling that filled me up, and when he touched his tongue to my lips I tightened my fingers in his hair. He groaned and kissed me one more time before pulling back. I reluctantly released his hair and sat back in my chair, panting like I had run a marathon…but so was Edward so I guess that was okay.

We just sat there in our chairs for the longest time, our heads turned to look at each other. Edward blew out a loud breath and gave me an intense look. "How are you doing?"

I gave him a lazy grin. "I am great. Why did we stop?" He let out a small laugh. "We stopped because if we didn't, I am not sure I would be able to stop at all. I didn't want to make you upset." I bit my lip, remember the last time we almost-kissed. "I feel…good." That was such an inadequate word. "It's not like last time. I didn't feel scared at all."

He looked very relieved to hear it. I looked at my lap then, not sure what I should tell him. "Hey," his voice was soft and concerned. "What's wrong?"

I couldn't meet his eyes. "Edward, I want to tell you about my past…why I am the way I am." I glanced up at him through my lashes briefly. "I just don't know if I can."

He reached out to take my hand gently into his. "You can tell me anything…you can trust me I swear."

I waved my free hand. "It's not that, I trust you…really."

"What is it then?"

It took a moment and a lot of effort, but I finally looked at his face. "I am scared." His eyes tightened. "What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of me?"

I shook my head slightly, not breaking eye contact with him. "I am afraid it will change the way you think of me…how you see me."

"Never." His answer was vehement, determined. He spoke without any hesitation. "Never."

I wanted to tell him, I was going to tell him but not on the night of our first real kiss. "I want to tell you everything…but not tonight." I pleaded him with my eyes. "Soon." I promised him. He squeezed my hand and gave me a small smile and I relaxed instantly. Then there was no more talking. We held hands most of the night, forgetting about gazing at the woods in front of us, forgetting about the melting candles on the table. We just looked at each other, our eyes drinking in our fill. Occasionally, I would smile and he would return them. These were full smiles, the kind that reaches your eyes. I knew this week would be the start of a new chapter in our lives…and so far I am really liking this story.

A special THANK YOU to Eddie's Bella….she is taking LYIO international! My story is going to be read in Belgium. How friggen awesome is that???

I love all my reviewers *Squeeze*!

Enjoy taking Edward home with you tonight/tomorrow!