A new day, a new chapter, guys thanks for the great reviews (betherzz) liking the part of the Kleenex alert, my fave Lil sis Victoria =)

Spoiler: Guys get your Kleenex,

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or BONES btw can't wait till the next episode of NCIS JETLAG…

Grief, guilt, suspended animation, home…

Home:

Stepping out of the elevator three men walks toward the bullpen, each of them lost in there own thoughts.

McGee raring to go to Abby, to tell her what has happened to Ziva, it pains him to be the one to tell her but he knew he must. There is no other way and he doubts that Tony or Gibbs will be talking to anyone just yet, both men was silent during their flight not that McGee can blame them. They have gathered evidence from the burned down ruins of Saleem's camp, and the bodies they have found all through out the crime scene. It is up to them to identify the remains, McGee knows that they should start soon, but he doesn't know how to convince Gibbs and Tony. If Ziva were here she would have yelled at the three of them to get their act together. But Ziva is gone… she is currently lying on a cold metal slab at ducky's autopsy room. Burnt beyond recognition, McGee is scared; no he was terrified this was different from Kate's death, where he is also afraid to go to Kate's body fearing what she would look like. Kate was beautiful even in death, but Ziva is different, all the traces of what she use to be had been erased. McGee briskly walked towards Abby's lab, craving for comfort, if there is anyone in this world who could take away what he was feeling it is definitely Abby.

"Abby?'

"McGee!" she was running towards him

"Tell me did you find her?"

"Where is she?'

"Is she okay? Is she in the hospital?'

"Wait for me I'm going with you to the hospital"

"Abby" he called her name softly

So soft that she barely hears him,

Abby turns and look at McGee, "Why aren't you moving McGee!"

"We have to see Ziva!"

"Where are Tony and Gibbs?'

"Abby" he calls her again, this time she listens

"Abby Ziva is here in the building"

"Geez, McGee why didn't you tell me sooner, where is she?"

"Is she in the bullpen?"

"No Abby" "she is not in the bullpen, she is with ducky"

Hurrying past McGee, Abby made her way to the autopsy room, but before she had gone through the door, a hand stops her in mid flight.

"What McGee! I need to go to Ziva?! She snapped at McGee, only till then did Abby notice McGee's expression.

"Tim what's wrong?'

McGee could only stare at her as tears falls, he could not make out the words to say, he just stood there clasping her hand, unshed tears falls.

"Tim what is the matter with you? Why are you crying?

Abby was distraught now, she doesn't know what is going on but she feels that something is hinky.

"McGee! What happened?"

A voice answered her, two words that is all it took for Abby's world to shatter around her,

"She's gone"

"What!!! NO! That can't be McGee, Tony, Tony assured me that she is ok; Tony told me that she won't give up that easy. And Ziva is my perfect warrior she would not go down that easily McGee! Abby is screaming now at the top of her lungs, her voice ringing all throughout the hallways. She was hitting McGee, as tears falls from her eyes. Her mind refuses to accept what he had told her. No! Her mind is screaming Ziva is not dead, she is not dead. But it is fruitless even if they both don't accept it. The truth cannot be altered it is a fact that is killing her at the moment. Her friend is gone, Ziva is gone… She continues to hit McGee over and over and collapse at the foot of McGee, with tears running down her face, sobs wracking her whole body. McGee kneels besides Abby and holds Abby into his arms. Both leaning into each other, searching for comfort as the world collapse all around them…

Vance was about to enter the lab, and hears someone is yelling it was Abby, he saw McGee was holding Abby, both of them crying, in the middle of the floor. They have not notice him, he looks at them his face an unreadable mask. Turns around and walks away, thinking that both of them need time on their own…

Suspended Animation…

Gibbs is in denial, although he knew that the badge belongs to Ziva, he still refuses to believe that the burned out corpse lying in autopsy is indeed Ziva. But even at ducky's expertise he could not identify the body. He knows he needs help, to prove that, that body is not Ziva, No! It is not Ziva, she is alive, somewhere… gallivanting all around Africa shooting someone or beating someone up, like the Ziva he knew and love. His heart refuses to believe that she is truly gone…

He picks up his phone and began dialing a number of a friend of his…

"Tobias, it's me" "I need to ask you a favor…"

Guilt…

Sitting at his desk, starring across towards Ziva's desk, remembering…. Memories flash through his mind, silly banters, Ziva snorting with laughter as Gibbs gives him a head slap, glaring at him, as he began to annoy her, Ziva, scaring him when she shows up out of nowhere. Her voice rang out as she began to describe what she plans to do to him, if he doesn't stop acting like a child. Remembering how she could read him, like no one else could.

"Do you believe in soul mates? She had once ask, but he did not get the question so he answers her mockingly, he did not notice it that time that she was serious, saying that he would never get it she walks away, at the end of the case he saw her as she looks at the reunion, and in the end she looks at him a strange emotion on her face. Now it hits him hard, thinking back, he realizes why she had asked him that question.

Soul mates… she is thinking that he might be her soul mate, waking a up as if from a dream he pace back and forth, his thoughts in turmoil, agitated, he sat down weakly, put his head in his hands, while whispering soul mates. How can he be so dumb and stupid how can he not get what she was talking about. He was laughing; his body is shaking, repeating the words soul mates over and over again. He was laughing as the tears once again falls, he was laughing and crying at the same time.

He was being eaten by guilt inside, he took out the badge, the one that once had belonged to her, tracing the embossed words with his fingers, he whispers the words like a mantra, soul mates, and he just cannot get it out of his head.

A sock in the gut, each time he repeats it, now it had only gotten worse, he stood up, and proceeded to where she is right now,

It was dark, a single light was illuminating her body, it was covered in a body bag, he sat right next to it, and like it was before, like she was still there by his side he began talking to her. Imagining that she was right in front of him, like she was there looking at him, listening to him, just like before,

"I finally figured it out, what you were talking about; remember when you asked me if I believe in soul mates? You told me I would never get it, but here I am I figured it out, and to answer you, yes I do believe in soul mates, And you know I have found my soul mate, you have to guess… looking at the body bag as if expecting for an answer, silence… ok I'll tell you, I believe that you are my soul mate Ziva… Can you hear me, it is you, you're my soul mate Ziva, and so what do you think now? Have I surprise you, I did didn't I?

Answer me Ziva please… please… he was begging her now, I know I should have told you sooner but I know it is my fault to begin with but can you please forgive me? Continued silence, his voice broke… Ziva? Please answer me… please… but no matter how hard he asks still no answer…

Lying down atop of the body bag, he was begging, Ziva come back… come back please come back… we need you…. I need you… silence is the only answer….

A voice "she died alone"

"we are all alone" looking back at that conversation they had before, he finally understood that she was referring to herself, she had died alone, she knew it all along that she would be alone, and It was his fault, he had failed her, betrayed her, he had cause her pain yet she continues to love him even then, a mixture of guilt, pain, grief, love, all inside of him he had tried once again calling her begging her to return but to no avail no answer…

In a dark and cold room someone cries, someone is in pain, someone who had lost a part of his soul

In coming home, grief remains, in coming home guilt prevails, coming home to a suspended animation of the mind and soul…. Eerie echoes of defeat and tears, inside the walls of death… echoes through the night

I know I've promised you BONES NEXT CHAPTER

That is if you review

Thanks for reading

xiatien