Hey! Guess what?
I'm back!
I had to take a really long break. For various…reasons. You don't need details but I really didn't feel like writing much for a very long time. I know I've had these stored away for quite some time but never really wanted to put them up because then you'd want more. But now I'm back writing this stuff again, I can put it up!
And you can enjoy it!
I have some more chapters to come, which I will upload (hopefully) once a day. We have this chapter, which is Weiss VS Magnus, then we have one called "The Twins", which needs no explanation, I'm sure, then "Movie Night", "True Darkness" and "The Primordial Truth". They should be good fun. And no, the story is not going to get darker, it just might get a little more serious in some parts. This chapter is one of them. Still funny though.
Thank you for tolerating my protracted absence, and I hope you still have a taste for this madness!
So, onwards to joy and madness! The Primarchs of Remnant have returned!
Glynda looked around the room as she sighed once more.
Sometimes she understood why Ozpin drunk coffee so much. Maybe that's how we coped. Or maybe he really did put something in his coffee.
After all, she never did find out what the white powder on his desk really was. Ozpin said it was dust. Glynda wasn't familiar with dust that arranged itself in perfectly neat rows along desks, but with the enigmatic headmaster, anything could be possible.
"So, our next matchup will not be against Angron, for…reasons apparent to us all, I'm sure."
The rest of the class sighed in relief.
"We shall now move on to randomly determined fights. Standard rules apply. First one to critically incapacitate the others Aura is the victor. Randomization shall begin…now"
Glynda pressed the randomization button on the scroll, the lists swirling rapidly before it ended on two individuals.
Weiss Schnee.
Magnus.
Glynda looked up at the strange boy. He was ready another book, apparently entirely detached from reality. Almost as if the book was his reality. Clearing her throat, she caught the attention of the room and announced the next match.
"We now have…Weiss Schnee" Team RWBY and JNPR cheered-"And Magnus…uh…"
"Just Magnus" Vulkan clarified for her. Glynda nodded her thanks.
The lesser Primarchs cheered as well, Fulgrim smiling his trademark "I'm the best thing to have ever drawn breath but just because I happen to acknowledge you exist on the same plane of reality as me you're not half bad either" smile at Magnus while Vulcan nodded confidently. Russ roared loudly in excitement, rising to his feet and clapping.
Magnus still kept on reading his book, the outside world a bothersome distraction to his focus. Why couldn't he just turn off their speak functions, he wandered as they kept pandering him about something or other.
It wasn't until Russ slapped the book out of his hands that he focused.
"Dude, you're up" Russ growled, angry at how long it took him to respond.
Magnus looked up and saw that his opponent was already on the stage and tapping her foot impatiently. Breathing out slowly, he closed his eyes (One of which kept going all fuzzy inexplicably) and rose. While tall compared to usual people (As in, mere mortals) Magnus looked relatively small compared to his brethren. Walking down on to stage, he took up place next to Weiss and smiled.
"You'll forgive me if I'm a bit…rusty. Not had much time to practise practical combat skills for a while"
Weiss nodded primly.
"It's of no concern to me. All that matters is you have skill enough to challenge me"
Vulkan smirked.
"Oh, he does alright" He whispered to himself. This ought to be good.
Glynda raised her hand, genuinely curious as to how this would unfold. She has not yet seen Magnus fight. The boy proves incredibly enigmatic and constantly seems to simply slip by most confrontations as if by magic. Glynda smiled internally. She knew there was only one kind of magic, and it did not allow for such a thing like that.
How wrong she was to think that.
Glynda motioned for the fight to commence, which it did. With great effect.
Weiss dashed forward, her skills honed and her talents refined by her weekly bouts with Fulgrim. Strike hard, strike fast, strike quick, and most importantly, strike first. That is what she had learned. She needed to commence the fight in her favour. Against any other opponent, this would be a perfectly acceptable tactic. Against a lesser Primarch, it was somewhat akin to a mosquito deciding the best way to beat a windscreen of a car is to fly straight at it and make no attempt to get out of the way.
That is to say, entirely futile, and definitely counter-intuitive to things like continued living, possessing a body, and/or your sanity.
Magnus raised one hand, and from that hand a small rune appeared on his palm. The air cracked like a whip had passed through it, and Weiss suddenly felt as if the laws of physics had been hijacked and forced to do entirely the opposite of what they were supposed to do. That is, conserve momentum, among other things. Weiss simply stopped in mid-dash, her feet slightly off the ground, rapier extended, Glyph frozen at her feet. The crowd gasped.
This was new.
They had been expecting this newcomer to possess some almighty weapon or great physical strength or some other brilliant tactic. Instead, he simply seemed to break the universe as casually as one opened a door. Even Glynda looked stunned. The feat of suspending Weiss in motion seemed not to bother him at all.
Magnus stepped forward and pushed outward with his second hand. The laws of physics were quite rudely corralled into doing something they did not want and were forced to fling Weiss backwards with all her stolen momentum. Magnus raised that same palm and conjured a pillar of exotic flame, causing a wave of "Ooooooohhhhhhhs" to come from the crowd.
Glynda froze in her spot.
She could hear a faint whispering in the air that seemed to come from within her mind. The strange sound was so alien in nature that Glynda knew that it came from no human throat. Instead, it seemed to be coming from…elsewhere.
Weiss, rising from the wall she had been flung into, dived aside from the massive whirlwind of multi-coloured flame and leapt forward with the aid of a glyph. Her rapier lashed out but bounced harmlessly off a spectral barrier that surrounded Magnus. The smiling boy swept aside a fringe of flowing red hair and waved Weiss aside, bolts of arcane lightning dancing off his finger-tips. The crowd was amazed. Either Magnus was using dust in the most exotic way imaginable or else his Semblance allowed people to see things normally only possible with totally-legal chemical agents.
Weiss, to her credit, was doing rather well and not letting Magnus' apparent ability to completely throw the concept of logic out the window and instead invent his own versions of the laws of physics and common sense get to her. She counter-attacked as much as she could, but try as she might, whatever attacks that did not flounder in the air hit that accursed barrier. Weiss decided to go for a change of pace, and begun assaulting Magnus with dust. Bolts of brilliantly coloured ice spikes and dust attacks clashed with exotic streamers of fire and bewitching tendrils of purple hued lightning. The crowd was enjoying a fight that, despite Weiss's relatively low Aura, seemed actually even in terms of technical skill. The only thing that stopped Magnus being struck was his barrier defence, which seemed to flicker a little bit more every time an attack snuck in. Weiss was not giving up, even now.
"Come one Weiss! You can do it! Ruby shouted. BY and JNPR also took up the cheer. Team HRRS watched on in interest. Leman, however, was not so amused.
"C'mon, stop playing around and fight properly, Magnus!"
Magnus looked over at Russ and snarled.
"I. Am."
Russ rose up and shook his fist.
"Then WIN!" He yelled. Fulgrim grabbed his arm and made him sit, not wanting to get in trouble by Glynda. How unfitting that would be, after all.
"Calm down. He's just doing things differently. There's merit in his ways, Russ" He chastised. Russ snorted.
"There's no merit to being a coward, pretty-boy" He spat. Vulkan leaned over and interjected.
"There is merit to playing things smart. Not everything can be solved by punching it"
"If punching it doesn't it work, you headbutt it" Leman snapped to no-one in particular.
The fight, meanwhile, was still going, yet Weiss was nearing her end. Her Aura was only at 20%, and Magnus had yet to be hit once. However, a stray bolt of ice from Weiss rapier weaved past the lance of fire Magnus used to strike its brethren out from the air and hit his barrier, which seemed to falter at just that moment. The single shard of ice went straight for Magnus head and struck him clean in the eye, causing him to stagger back and curse loudly. He waved his arm aggressively in his anger and the entire second half of the stage exploded, destroying a significant portion of the outer wall of the room and throwing Weiss completely out the room, her Aura gone. Magnus reeled back, blood pouring from his eye as he held his head to his hand, shouting profanity. Fulgrim was on his feet the fastest, already jumping down on to the stage as Leman Russ rose to his feet. Vulkan jumped up in concern as Team HRRS rose, expressions shocked. Glynda shouted out for students to get aid, whilst immediately calling off the match. She fancied she could hear half a hundred voices sniggering to themselves before the sound of a door closing in her mind stopped it.
"Rob, San, Dorn, see to the girl!" Horus shouted as he rushed over to Magnus. Team RBY and JNPR rushed out the huge hole in the wall after Weiss, Roboute, Dorn and Sanguinius at their heels.
Horus pushed aside Vulkan to see what had happened.
Magnus was blinded in one eye. Blood ran in rivulets down his face.
"What happened? Your barrier was still intact, it had not broken! This has never happened before!" Fulgrim said, holding Magnus head concernedly as Russ seethed in anger, pacing back between Magnus and the broken wall.
"What. In. The. Hell. Was. That" He growled, almost to himself.
"I don't know" Magnus said, causing the small crowd around him to fall silent. Magnus himself didn't know?
"My barrier was not broken. It was intact. The attack just seemed to…skip past it"
"You must be in pain" Vulkan said, shouldering Horus out of the way whilst giving him the evil eye, before he turned to Magnus.
"No. Not really. It just poked me a bit"
"Your eye is missing, Magnus" Fulgrim deadpanned.
"Eh, I can still see. Mostly" He said, as if nothing was wrong. Russ, pausing in his anger, smiled.
"Guess we've got a new name for you"
Magnus stopped smiling.
"Magnus the Red" He quipped. Fulgrim sighed loudly whilst Vulkan smirked. Magnus seemed to consider it for a moment, and then nodded.
"I actually…like it. It's got a bit of a ring to it" He said, removing his hand. Blood had already dried over the wound, which was somehow already just scar tissue. Magnus did not seem perturbed at all by this development. Glynda, rushing back from the crowd around Weiss, gasped when she saw the injury.
This had never happened before. She thought these people were indestructible. Apparently they were not.
"My mistake, before you say anything. I seemed to have done something wrong. No worry. It's healed already"
Glynda opened her mouth to speak, but stopped when she saw Ozpin walk past the giant hole in the wall, and raise an eyebrow.
"I thought I heard something explode. Now, tell me, who did this? Leman? Or was Dorn trying to 'renovate' this room again?"
Horus stepped forward.
"A sparring accident, sir. Weiss seems to have struck a lucky blow which robbed Magnus of an eye"
Ozpin sipped his coffee and remained unperturbed.
"Oh?" He said, suddenly serious, looking down at the prone form of Weiss being picked up by her teammates and noticing the dirty looks being shot between teams as Roboute and Dorn rose to glare across at Magnus. Sanguinius seemed to be defending both parties, but was having a hard time saying anything as a chorus of female agreement kept springing forth every time he opened his mouth. Sanguinius looked between his fellow team mates, and then to Weiss, and, picking her up in his arms (Causing many a girl to wonder if they should be seriously injured more often) and making his way to the infirmary.
Ozpin focused back on the matter at hand.
Horus nodded gravely, but Magnus spoke instead of him now.
"Something went wrong. I appeared to have…used something the wrong way. I apologise. I must lend myself to helping the girl…"
"You will do no such thing, young man" Ozpin said, motioning to Magnus with his cane and ordering him to follow him.
"Glynda, come with us. We must impress upon Magnus the dire situation he is in" Fulgrim seemed ready to argue this, but Vulkan held him back. Leman Russ, however, was not. Magnus sighed good-naturedly and went with the two professors.
"Sir? What about that girl? She was the one who injured him, the little bit-"
Roboute interrupted him.
"Shut. Up. Russ" He said through gritted teeth. Dorn nodded and stood side by side his brother in arms. Leman Russ looked between both parties and snorted, shaking his head before storming off, muttering something about "Pansies" and "Pathetic fools" and a "Miscarriage of justice". Fulgrim glared at Roboute before he went off after Leman Russ, leaving Horus and Vulkan alone with Roboute and Dorn.
"That was…a development" Dorn deadpanned. Horus showed the signs of a small smile.
"Yes…it was" He said, the memory of this day imprinted very clearly in his mind.
XXX
"Hahahahahaahaha! I gave him one eye, just like the real one!" Tzeentch laughed. Khorne grunted as he looked through the visionary lenses of Tzeentch's world mirror. Nurgle was gurgling something, but Tzeentch was ignoring it. No doubt it was something about that 13th Black Crusade. Tzeentch had (no) idea where that particular fleet of Plague Marines went. It's not like he deliberately conjured a warp storm just where they were last known to be. He just had…other plans…in that area. Beside, this was much more entertaining. More so than whatever that annoying Abaddon dude wanted from him.
Slaanesh, meanwhile, was grooming himself/herself/itself in the mirror, fancying if he/she/it looked better with wavy hair, curly hair, no hair, or living hair (don't ask).
"So…when are we going to get to real stuff?" Khorne huffed. Nurgle rasped something unintelligible which everyone ignored.
"Like what, honey muscles?" Slaanesh purred, rubbing Khornes biceps. Khorne yelled angrily and punched Slaanesh across several dimensions whilst Nurgle jabbered incessantly about how someone named Kaldor Draigo had ruined a bunch of irrelevant scenic hotspots in his garden. Tzeentch pretended like he didn't know what he was talking about whilst Slaanesh reappeared on the other side of Khorne, taunting him.
"You see, this is why we never get anything done around here" He sighed from about fifty different faces as a mocking voice danced across the room.
"That's not the only reason" Said an annoyingly mocking and clownish voice. The image of a comedic mask appeared in the mirror.
"Cegorach! Piss off!" Tzeentch shouted as he saw a dancing jester in the vision. Slaanesh shrieked loudly (And not the usual kind) as he/she/it saw their mortal enemy.
"You again!" He/she/it shouted. Cegorach laughed and bowed mockingly.
"You look even uglier than usual. Have you aged? Or have you not had your ego validated in the last femtosecond?"
Slaanesh begun stabbing the mirror with a thousand rapidly appearing knives whilst Nurgle just sat there looking bored, talking about how much they were going to bet Creed would beat Abaddon. Again.
"So, what's this here? Another world? Neat. Mind if I join in? I can bring along the usual pals. I'm sure Gork and Mork might want in. Oh, and Big E can-"
"NO! NO! NOT HIM! I HATE HIM!" Tzeentch yelled petulantly, slapping the mirror like a child slaps a gameboard.
"Why? Because he always beats you?"
Tzeentch huffed something about "Plot convenience" and "The writers are biased" and other such unknowable things as he folded his arms(s) and looked away. Or began looking. Or something.
Cegorach winked at Nurgle, flipped Khorne off, and then vanished into the edges of the mirrors as he finished another round of multi-dimensional taunting.
"You know, I really don't like that guy" Nurgle said slowly.
