ch 9: the silver lining
The day had gone by in a blur for her. She spent most of it sulking over the face that Eriol was currently ignoring her. Syaoran had been in the house in the morning and he smiled and wished her a good morning. And that was the last human interaction she had had for the day. It was night and Mr. and Mrs. Hiiragizawa weren't scheduled to arrive till the next day—which meant she was by herself again. She figured that this was as good a time as any to wander around the house and she soon found herself at a familiar porch. She sighed and let the salty air of the beach calm her nerves a bit. All she wanted to do was cry but she didn't think she had the right to do that. She stepped out of her slippers and took lazy strides toward the water. It was a lovely night and the moon sparkled off of the waves. She marveled at the scene before her. Everything was in harmony. She closed her eyes and listened quietly to the soft crashing of the waves and the gentle rustling of the wind. It would take a miracle now for things to go back to the way they were.
"You should really tell someone if you decided to wander away you know?" his voice was relieved and annoyed all at once. She snapped out of her reverie focused on his approaching from in the darkness. "It really looks bad on me as your babysitter if I lose you."
"I don't need to be babysat." She answered dryly. She didn't need him to patronize her.
"What are you doing here?" he stopped next to her and watched as she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.
"Listening."
"Well, could you maybe 'listen' inside? You being out here is making me nervous." He shoved his hands into his pockets but she made no indication that she was willing to move.
"There's nothing to listen to inside the house." She opened her eyes then, but still refused to meet his.
"What are you talking about? There's the TV and the stereo…I'm not sure if you noticed my dad's insane record collection in the living room…" he drifted off getting the faint impression that none of the above mentioned activities would have any interest for her.
She didn't respond but simply sank down into the sand and hugged her knees to herself. He made an exasperated sound and sat next to her.
"What's wrong now?" he grumbled. She laughed a humorless laugh and he was more frustrated. "I'm not a mind reader you know? How the hell am I supposed to know what's bothering you if you don't tell me?"
"Do you really want to know or are you just asking me that so it doesn't hurt your conscience later?" she glared at him now her eyes stinging. He stared back his eyes wide in shock. "Because, if it's the latter; I officially rid you of whatever absurd guilt your feeling. You're free to you wander the earth for all eternity and never feel the least bit worried about my trivial problems."
"What's gotten into you?" he raised an eyebrow but didn't let up on the frown.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" she scoffed and looked back at the water, willing the calm of the ocean to affect her mood.
"Alright, I give up. Stop being so bloody evasive and just answer my question already!"
"This is the longest conversation you've had with me all day." She said quietly still looking at the sea. "And I use the word conversation very loosely." He was quiet so she continued. "It hurt ok? I don't know why, but you not talking to me really hurt. And it made me angry and upset with myself. And there was nothing to distract me from the silence so…I came out here. Ironic, isn't it, that you should decide to speak just when I was beginning to feel better about everything?"
"You're one to talk about hurt feelings." He choked out a laugh. "Well…I suppose I'm sorry that I was ignoring you. There, do you feel better? I hope your feelings still aren't hurt." His voice was heavy with sarcasm that she did not miss.
"What the hell is your problem?!" she demanded with a glare. "As far as I know I haven't done a single thing to irritate you! Why the hell are you being such a jerk!" she jumped up from where she was sitting and he followed suit. "It's one thing to have the entire school judge me and it's a totally different thing to have you judge me! You have no idea how disgusted I've been in myself all day just because of that look you gave me. And why the hell should I feel ashamed! It's not even like I did anything wrong!"
"Nothing wrong?!" he was close to yelling at this point. "Oh well that's rich! I didn't know that you had such low standards for yourself!"
"Excuse me?" the words hit her like tone of bricks.
"You heard me." He gritted his teeth as he spoke, his eyes glowing with a fresh wave of anger. "Shiro. I can't believe you did it with him. Of all the people on the planet! And on your first night out with him no less!"
She didn't wait to hear the rest of his accusation. She acted so fast that she would not have known that she acted at all were it not for the resonating sound of her palm connecting with his cheek and the all too obvious red mark across his face. He stared at her in disbelief and she looked on in fury. "How DARE you!" she stepped closer in an attempt to be threatening. The proximity made her heart pound in her chest and she felt her face grow hot. "How dare you even assume something so sordid? You know me better than that!"
"You know, I honestly can't say that I do now." He looked down at her and his voice softened a bit. She hadn't hurt him physically—there was barely any power in her slap—but it still stung in a way. The fact that she was only a breath's length away from him hadn't escaped his attention either. His skin pricked with the electricity that her body seemed to radiate. All he had to do was lean in…
"And I suppose it didn't occur to you to just ask me about it?" her voice was gentler now and it cracked a little toward the end of her sentence. "All I did was kiss him." She looked down at her feet. "People just don't know how to keep things like this within proportion. I wouldn't have done anything more…and it's not like I could have done anything anyway – assuming that I did have a brief lapse of judgment; my mom came out and ruined the moment before it could even become a moment."
"You kissed him?" he felt stupid now. Of course he had jumped to horrible conclusions. How terribly (and not to mention typically) melodramatic of him. He felt like a first rate cad at that moment but couldn't stop a stupid smile from creeping onto his face. He felt himself lean absently into her and he didn't bother to stop his advance.
"Yes. And my mom caught us. It was like something straight out of a cheap teen flick." She heard him chuckle and felt at ease. She looked up to smile at him but stopped short. He's so close.
"You should try selling it as a script." He joked. "It might end up being the biggest hit of the summer. You never know."
"Oh ya. "The attack of the snooping mothers". Sounds like a real crowd pleaser." She did smile then.
"So…was he any good?" he barely hid is curiosity behind his nonchalant tone.
"What?" her eyes went wide.
He shrugged his shoulders, "Was he any good?"
She laughed nervously and backed away a little. "Why don't you go kiss him and find out yourself if you're so curious?" he smiled, caught her hand and pulled her back in gently.
"I'd rather hear you describe it." The look on his face told her that he seemed positive that she hadn't liked the kiss one bit. This unnerved her a little; although, not as much as the hand that was still around her wrist. She stared as his thumb traced tiny meaningless patterns on her flesh.
"Really Eriol, I'd rather not."
"It's a simple question."
"You're being ridiculous."
"You're being evasive."
"Eriol!" she frowned at him.
"Tomoyo?" he smiled innocently at her. "Just a 'good' or 'not great' or 'completely off the mark' will do. There. I even gave you options, all you have to do is pick an answer." He leaned in so close that their noses were practically touching. His hand fanned out on the small of her back and she barely registered that she had stopped breathing.
"He didn't ask my permission. And that irritated me a little." she tried to keep the conversational atmosphere in the air which was hard considering that her blood was rushing through her veins.
He laughed softly. "Anything else?"
"Well…I don't really have anything else to compare it to…so I can't give you a fair assessment." She all but whispered.
He chuckled a little. "I was hoping you would say something like that." He tilted his head to the side and brushed her lips lightly. She gasped and her smiled. "May I?"
a/n: CLIFFHANGER! :]
