A/N: Hello again! I always say this spiel on the second last chapter of my stories but,….I'm a really sensitive person, so when I see that people unfollow after completing a story I get super offended. It hurts my feelings. Please don't be that reader lol. By all means, feel free to favourite and unfavourite this story, I can't dictate your taste :p I just interpret the unfollowing as rude because it makes me feel used as an author. I'm an angsty little bean, okay?

Bleh, anyways, thanks for reading and being as awesome as always with your support! I'll be back next week with the last chapter of this crack-show :D

We Were Born to Become Slaves:

After I got back from psycho woman #2's apartment, I made Liza a large mug of tea. We then cuddled next to each other on the couch, snoozing on and off all afternoon. The tea really helped with her cramps, so she had finally been able to get some sleep. The only thing that sucked was that I was stuck in place, unable to move, while she slept on my lap.

I patted Liza's head, sweeping away the hair from her face. "Liza," I whispered. "Honey, I need to get up. I have to go to the washroom."

Liza didn't respond. She was in a deep sleep, no doubt immersed in one of her fangirl fantasies. The drool trickling out of her mouth and the creepy grin on her face was already a pretty good indication of that.

I sighed, attempting to sit up, only to have the wind knocked out of me when Liza instinctively punched me in the gut. I furrowed my brows in confusion. Perhaps that had just been a freak reflex. I attempted to sit up again.

PUNCH!

Nope. Definitely not a reflex. Unconscious or not, Liza knew what she was doing.

I rolled my eyes, leaning back to rest my head against the couch. Looks like I wouldn't be moving any time soon. How unawesome.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Gilbert! Mi puta! You there?" A familiar happy-go-lucky voice echoed behind me.

I craned my neck as far back as my position allowed, looking at the balcony, as this was where the sound had come from. I blinked twice in disorientation.

"ANTONIO?!" I shouted. "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

Cool fact of day: Liza could sleep through literally anything. If she didn't want to wake up, nothing in the world, no matter how loud, would be able to rouse her.

I found Antonio standing outside on Liza's balcony, his tanned face smushed up against the glass.

"It's nice to see that you survived yesterday's head-bashing! Oh, and I ran away~!" he shouted back.

"YOU WHAT?!" I spluttered.

Antonio opened the patio door, poking his head into the apartment.

"I ran away!" Antonio repeated.

"Bella's on her period too! Dios, I can't put up with these female hormones any longer! I'm taking little Roma, and we're going to New York. I want to feel like a new man, Gilbert! You should come with us~!"

Well that would explain the five-star on his right cheek.

I shook my head in disbelief. "Hold the fuck up for a minute. Did you really just climb down three stories?"

Antonio's lips spread into a crazy grin. His and Bella's apartment was on the eleventh floor of this building. "You bet I did!" he beamed.

"You could have killed yourself, you dummkopf!" I cursed.

Antonio shrugged. "So, are you coming with us or not?"

"Coming where?" I asked.

"To New York, of course~!"

"You're serious?"

"Si! Well, uh, kind of. Maybe we can just go for a weekend or something?"

I smirked. "I like where you're going with this. We can come back once Satan's done visiting them."

Antonio matched my devious smirk, a mutual look of understanding crossing his face. "Perfect! I'll text Franny and see if he wants to come too~! We can probably leave by tonight!"

"There's just one problem," I frowned. "I can't move."

Antonio stretched on his tippy toes, looking over the couch to find Liza laying fast asleep on my lap.

"Not a problem," Antonio chuckled. "I know the perfect thing that'll wake her up. Bella's also a fangirl."

"Huh?" I asked.

"Don't ask questions. Just let a boss do his thing," Antonio hushed, pulling out his phone to slip it through the small crack in the patio door.

Well excuse me.

At this point, I was desperate enough to accept any solution. As long as I got out of here alive, I'd be home free.

Antonio scrolled through his phone. "Once she wakes up, it's your job to distract her. I'll be waiting in my car downstairs while you grab your things," he instructed.

I nodded my head in affirmation.

"Here we go! Be careful, she might react with a violent amount of 'feels'!" Antonio exclaimed, holding up his phone to the air when a song began to play from it.

~ Can you hear my heartbeat?
Tired of feeling never enough
I close my eyes and tell myself that my dreams will come true ~

"What the hell is this?" I hissed.

Antonio placed a finger over his lips. "It's an anime intro. Now Shhh! It's just getting to the good part."

Sure enough, Liza began to stir in my arms.

~There'll be no more darkness
when you believe in yourself you are unstoppable
Where your destiny lies, dancing on the blades,
you set my heart on fire

I watched in pure awe as the song slowly roused Liza into consciousness.

"Moment of truth," Liza muttered in her sleep. "Victor…Yuuri…so kawaii…"

I looked at Antonio, who grinned and gave me a confident thumbs up. "Any moment now," he mouthed to me.

Don't stop us now, the moment of truth
We were born to make history
We'll make it happen, we'll turn it around

Liza sat up with a start, accidentally kneeing me in the crotch.

"HNNGH!" I groaned.

Antonio paled, immediately turning off his phone.

"YES, WE WERE BORN TO SHIP VICTUURI!" Liza shouted at the top of her lungs.

Antonio ducked and hid out of sight.

Unfortunately, I was too busy coughing up blood to call him out for being such a coward.

"Gilbert! Gilbert! Honey! What's wrong?!"

"You just kneed me in the balls, that's what!"

"Did I really?!"

"JA!"

Antonio's POV:

I ducked out of sight, pressing my back against the brick wall of the building. Phew! That was a close one. Inside the apartment, I could hear Gilbert and Liza shouting at each other. But that's alright! They usually communicated like that anyway. Dysfunctional was how their relationship functioned, eheh.

I pouted my lips. Ay, I didn't want to go back to my apartment. Bella and Roma were waiting for me to make dinner. You'd think that I was their servant or something. Roma, I could understand. He was only five years old. But Bella worked at a bakery. Surely, they could fend for themselves without me!

Not to mention that Bella was in a permanently bad mood today. I was slapped just for asking why her stomach was so 'poofy'. How was I supposed to know that it's normal for a chica's stomach to bloat when they're on their period?!

Oh well, I should probably get off Liza's balcony now. The last thing I needed was to be whacked with a pan.

PLOP!

A tomato fell from the sky, falling down at my feet. I looked up, cocking my head to the side. How random? But I couldn't just let such a ripe tomato go to waste either!

I peered into Liza's apartment, sighing out of relief when I didn't see the feuding couple in sight. I then bent over, swiping the tomato so that I grasped it in my hand. Mmmmm…

I froze when I heard devious chuckling above me. I knew that I was a goner when I felt a rope wrap around my waist.

"Oh dios," I muttered to myself.

It had all been a trap…

"Pull, Bella, pull!" Roma's shrill chibi voice cackled. "That lazy bastard deserves to suffer!"

I looked up to find Bella and Roma leaning over our own balcony three stories above. I dangled in the air as my girlfriend pulled me up with the rope. I honestly didn't care if I fell or not at this point. The embarrassment would surely kill me first.

"Romaaaaa!" I wailed. "How could you? You were supposed to keep this a secret!"

Roma shrugged, revealing a mouthful of pink gums and half grown-in teeth. "You taught me to never say no to a pretty lady. Besides, she gave me candy."

I deadpanned.

That kid was more loyal to food than his own boss and blood.

Bella tugged on the rope extra hard.

Ay! Ay! Ay!

Watch the balls!