A/N: The rookies are definitely trouble here...read on and review!

Chapter 8- The Roast of Hunter Hearst Helmsley

"As I said before," Dave said. "Hunter, you're going to burn—badly."

"Sounds good," David muttered. "I like the smell of roasting flesh in the morning."

"Is that so?" Michelle asked.

"It sure is," he replied.

"Nicely answered. Now go guard the door," she ordered.

"Yes, ma'am."

Meanwhile, Dave had taken Hunter out of his jar again. "Prepare to burn...literally," he cackled.

"Of course he's ready," Randy laughed.

"He looks so sad," Lillian said.

"Trust me, he won't be by the time anyone is done with him," Dave growled.

"I see that," John said.

"Wow," Justin murmured. "Maybe you should make him dance until he burns, like in the Buffy musical."

"That's a good idea," Skip cut in.

"I saw that—the poor guy didn't even know why he was dancing so much—and then he just burned," Darren said. "Intense is the word I can use to describe that one."

"That is a very good idea," Ken replied. "Just put him back to normal first."

"Can I try?" Wade asked. "Chris has been training me in the dark arts for a while now."

Chris smiled at his protege. "If they agree to let you do it."

Dave smiled at the request. "Go ahead, young one—if you insist."

"I will, then," Wade replied. "If my mentor is going to be one of the djinn, then I will do my best."

"That's the spirit, young one." Randy seemed to be more than pleased with the answer he got from the young man.

"Of course," Wade replied.

"But," Michelle warned him. "Mess that up—and it'll be even better for us."

Wade glanced over at Darren, David, and the other rookies. "What does that mean?" he asked.

"It means that if Hunter turns to ash, then it won't be our fault. It just means that we can say that he was electrocuted in some freak accident," Matt explained.

"Just like on Buffy," Justin said.

"I like it," Dave replied.

"We knew you would," Heath replied. "Or else that wouldn't be the case right now."

Everyone laughed.

"I don't see this as funny!" Hunter shouted from his glass prison.

"And why would you?" Dave hissed at him.

"Fuck you! And let me go!" Hunter shouted again.

"Not an option," Wade hissed. "I'm going to enjoy making you burn, Hunter."

Chris raised an eyebrow. "Is that your final answer, my boy?"

Wade grinned at him. "Final answer, my mentor."

"Then go for it," Matt challenged. "Make him burn."

"My pleasure," Wade replied, a sneer on his face. "Grow, you pathetic worm...and dance, for this may be your last." He pointed at Hunter as he chanted his invocation.

Chris was amused. "That's it, boy. Nicely done."

The others watched as Hunter slowly began to grow, until he was back to his normal size.

Once that ended, the next part of his death sentence began.

"Hunter," Dave called. "Start dancing."

Hunter stared at him. "What?"

"Did he stutter?" Darren and Phil both asked. "Dance, motherfucker, dance."

"Hell to the no, to quote Madea," Hunter snarled.

"Wow," Justin said. "Did he quote Mabel Simmons?"

"Yep," Matt replied. "He sure did. Dave is going to be mad now."

"Or not," John whispered.

That remark, in fact, did anger Dave, who was getting ready to have a laugh at the sight of a dancing Hunter.

"Uh oh," Beth muttered. "He is in trouble now."

"Damn straight," Dave hissed.

"I am NOT going to dance," Hunter snapped.

"You sure as hell will!" Skip roared. "Or I will make you do so."

"Try me, you cornfed nobody," Hunter yelled.

"EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP!" Phil shouted. "Hunter, do as you are told because, if you don't, I will personally make you do that myself."

Hunter's mouth snapped shut. Everyone else remained quiet.

"Just dance, Hunter," Randy said. "Everything will be okay."

Without another word, Hunter began dancing.

And dancing.

And dancing.

Until it got to the point where he was dancing and couldn't stop.

"What's happening to me?" Hunter cried.

"That, my brother," said an unknown voice. "Is the smell of your flesh roasting."

"Who said that?" Randy asked.

"Me," said the voice.

"It's R-Truth. He's okay in my book," John said. He had the uncanny ability to tell who was speaking from miles away.

"Just what is the meaning of your presence, Killings?" Matt asked.

"I just wanted to see how my rookie was doing, and since he likes to see people suffer, I figured I'd see Hunter's roast," Ron replied.

"Nice of you to come," Dave replied. "He's beginning to roast quite nicely, yes?"

"Definitely."

"What's going on here?" Hunter shouted. "Why am I on fire?"

Everyone looked at him, blank looks on their faces.

"Just burn," Wade growled. As he said this, Hunter's entire body was enveloped in flame.

Hunter's wails of agony began to rip through the air as he burned.

"Let me add something," Justin suddenly said.

"Go on," Matt replied. "Make me proud."

"Here goes. May you turn to ash when you have done your last dance," Justin said to the dying Hunter.

Suddenly there was a flash of light as Hunter's burning body began to turn into ash.

There was not another sound as the body finally turned into nothing but gray ash.

Dave breathed a sigh of relief. "Collect the ashes," he instructed.

Everyone grabbed glass bottles and began to bottle the ashes. "What now?" Matt asked him.

"Wade," Chris called. "A word."

"Yes, sir," Wade replied.

"Good job. I didn't think you would be able to pull such a feat," Chris told him. "I am proud, and I am sure Dave is too."

Just then, Dave interrupted them. "I am proud," he said, clapping the younger man on the shoulders.

"Hey, everyone," Randy shouted. "This calls for a feast—we celebrate tonight!"

There were shouts all over the room.

"What do you say?" Chris asked his protege. "We feast tonight, or not?"

"Let's feast," was all Wade could say.