Disclaimer : No, I don't own Vampire Knight or any of the characters seen there.
A / N :
Holy mother of--You guys have no idea how sorry I am for this late update! D; I am truly, truly sorry that I haven't updated in so long. I never thought that the beginning of school could be so hetic, you know? I mean, seriously. I've gotten used to it, but still! Drama can unfold so early on in the year, if you know what I mean, and it's really unfortunate that my friends are part of the drama. And, of course, being my friends' friend, I get dragged into the drama as well.
School... -Sigh- Right? Right? Who agrees with me? -Grins sheepishly-
I'm not going to try and make any special excuses, like saying my comp died or anything, because it didn't. And I'm not going to say I didn't have any bit of time to work on this story, 'cause I did. But... I don't know. I guess that I've just been caught up with stuff, you know? I am sincerely sorry and apologetic to everyone, though. And, although the chapters will probably start coming out later, I want you guys to all be sure of this one thing :
I WILL NOT be discontinuing this story.
I shall continue until this story until it is absolutely complete. But, please bear in mind that my updates will become less frequent.
Hopefully, you guys understand this and will forgive me. But, for now, I'm going to stop talking and just let you read this chapter. So, my dear friends, read on. Read on...
Shitsuren.
A Vampire Knight fanfiction.
___"Broken Heart"___
CHAPTER N_I_N_E :
"It's My Secret."
DAY SIXTEEN
Zero and I leaned against a nearby tree trunk, watching Yuuki from far away. A new student had arrived—a Night Class student. Female. I guess the chairman figured out that Zero and I wouldn't really be much help towards her and decided to let Yuuki escort her around whereas Zero and I just patrolled.
I narrowed my eyes at the girl—there's something so familiar about her. Something so, so familiar around her. Her mere presence seems to be pulling warning bells off in my head, but I couldn't see her. It was hard, and the shadows of the night covered her face. I didn't catch anything about her—not her hair colour, not her face, not her eyes…
Nothing.
"You feel it, too," Zero confirmed, staring at the two females. Yuuki looked slightly frightened—I don't know why. Maybe it's because tonight is so dark.
I nodded my head once in a jerky movement, my eyes narrowing into slits. "I do."
The two of us watched carefully when the female stepped closer to Yuuki, and Yuuki take a step back, waving her hands frantically in front of her face and shaking her head rapidly. The female placed her hand on Yuuki's shoulder and said something to make Yuuki jump up.
"…She's familiar," I breathed out flatly to Zero, glancing at him from the corner of my eyes.
He, however, shook his head and just grunted in annoyance.
I closed my eyes, thinking hard. "I know her… I know I do."
Zero's stare was on my face—I could feel it. He shifted slightly and the stare moved away, probably to keep an eye out on the Night Class student and make sure she doesn't try and harm Yuuki in any way. Zero's protective of Yuuki—he's in love with her, obviously. Too bad Yuuki's in love with that Kaname dude. But the thing is… Half of Yuuki's heart seems to be Zero's, and the other half that Pureblood's. It makes me wonder who she'll choose.
But I'm getting off topic.
The name of this Night Class student is on the tip of my tongue, her face, her abilities, everything about her is right under my nose, but I just… I can't remember. I just can't. I'm drawing a blank here—it's frustrating.
A sigh escaped my lips, and my face twisted slightly as I opened my eyes. "Zero."
"What?"
My eyes narrowed at the female Night Class student. "We need to be careful."
He scoffed, turning his gaze back to them as well. There was a certain glint in his lavender eyes as he looked at them, and I saw it—the determination to protect Yuuki. It showed in his eyes, and it made me wonder why Yuuki hasn't realized it yet. Was she too blinded by Kaname, that bloodsucker? Well, though I hate to say it, but if Yuuki chooses Kaname over Zero, I'll rip her head off.
I don't like that guy.
"I know," Zero scowled. "…There's something not right about her."
"I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so," I said in monotone. After a small pause, wondering if it would offend him or not, I hesitantly, but flatly, said, "We need to be cautious and warn Yuuki—I'm sure she's too oblivious to notice."
Zero closed his eyes and his head tilted towards the ground. I saw his muscles along his arms tense like he was clenching his fists inside his Day Class uniform. "Yeah," he seemed to be spitting the words out through his teeth.
The two of us pushed ourselves off the tree trunk when Yuuki and the new girl began fading from our sight, and glancing at each other, we began to follow them quietly, making sure to keep a safe distance away.
"Riku." Zero's serious—not that he isn't always serious, but you know what I mean—voice brought me to a complete stop in my tracks, and I braced myself for the question that was bound to come. It has, after all, been a week since that night. The night that I found out Shiki had lied to me—it's been a whole week since then, and Zero and Yuuki hadn't questioned me about it.
I knew Zero would prefer to ask me alone.
My eyes closed as I turned around to look at him. Keeping my cool façade on, I asked him, "What is it?"
He scoffed, obviously not buying it. "Don't act like you don't know," he tilted his head up towards the moon, and I couldn't help but notice how his hair shined and his eyes gleamed when the moonlight hit them—don't get me wrong. It's not that I've never admired how handsome Zero was before—trust me, I have, a ton of times, actually—but I couldn't help but compare him to the Night Class students. And I realized that he looked like them—pale skin, inhumanly gorgeous faces, very fit and well-built body…
And yet he was so different.
I sighed internally. "Zero…"
"What is it?" Zero inquired, turning his head to look at me straight in the eye—I could detect the betrayal in his eyes as he looked at me, and it made me flinch. He was hurt that I didn't tell him—he's feeling betrayed that he doesn't know my secret, and yet, I know his.
Zero didn't pay attention to my flinch as I looked in his eyes. "What are you hiding from us? Why are you hiding it?"
My heart squeezed. I was hurting Zero—I was hurting Yuuki… Because I was… My eyes closed. "I can't tell you, Zero. I just… Can't."
"Bullshit," he muttered, irritation tainting his tone. "You can tell us. You just don't want to," he accused, his eyes narrowing at me. I flinched again at his critical stare—it was like he didn't trust me anymore. Like he didn't know if I was a friend or enemy now.
But I couldn't deny his words—they were true, and yet, they weren't at the same time. "Zero, I…" I paused, shifting my weight from foot to foot. I stared up at the dark, midnight-blue sky, where the moon shone brightly.
Exhaling, I mumbled, "I want to tell you, Zero… I really do."
"Then say it already!" He exclaimed in a half-yell, half-normal voice. His eyes flashed with anger, and I saw them turn a bright crimson before they turned back to their usual lavender. His pale white hands were clenched into tight fists at his sides as he looked at me, his face emotionless except for the slight aggravation he showed.
Never in my life have I seen Zero so mad at me. He and I had arguments daily, but they were usually things that didn't really matter, and we both knew that. It was just a way to bond with each other—we never really meant any of the things we said and we both knew that, so that the words were never taken to our hearts. Sure, we got mad at each other before, it's not like we never fought, but we usually made up a day later at the max. Even when we were mad, we never yelled at each other or came close to it.
Looking at Zero right now, I could tell he was furious with me. He was practically seething out anger, and I think that he's taking this especially hard. It's not as if Yuuki choosing Kaname isn't enough—he finds out that I'm not telling him something and yet, I know everything about him. He's always been angry—always stressing because the love of his love is getting taken away from him, and yet…
…Why do all these things always happen to me?
"Z-Zero…" I stuttered—I was afraid. I've never seen Zero's wrath before, and I hope that I never have to. But by the look on his face, I don't think that he'll be able to conceal his anger any longer. I tried to calm him down. "You don't understand…"
Okay. Wrong thing to say.
His fists clenched even tighter, and he spat the words out through his teeth. "I understand," he told me, his voice clam, and yet, that's what made him sound so much more pissed off. "You don't trust us."
"No!" I protested, horrified at that idea. "I'm offended that you would even think that!"
I've known Zero and Yuuki for how long? Practically my whole life, and we've always been friends. There were never any secrets in between us—not counting this one—and we did everything together. As three. We've formed bonds of trust with one another so strong that I doubt anything could break it—anything. But here comes Zero, waltzing in like he wants to just stab me in the eye with a pencil, and goes around telling me about my feelings and my trust towards them.
Has it been like that along? Has he never trusted me at all?
No.
I don't want to believe—I don't believe it at all. There's no way that Zero would just fake that kind of trust that we have with one another—it's so unlikely. So not… I don't believe it. Our trust can't be something replaceable, and we can't just be faking it. It's real—our trust between the three of us. And maybe… That's why I don't want to tell them my secret.
Because it'll break our trust.
"Then what is it?" Zero almost growled, taking a step towards me, his eyes flashing red again.
"I can't tell you, Zero!" I almost screamed it at him. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and my vision become blurry due to the liquid. But I've learned to conceal my feelings—that's how it's been. How it has to be. Blinking hard to push back the tears, I repeated in a calm voice, "I can't tell you…"
It was quiet for a moment as we stared at each other.
After a few moments of silence, he decided to ask me again. "Why? What's the reason?"
I closed my eyes. "…It's because I'm too selfish," I whispered. I knew that he was probably confused with my answer, so I decided to continue and explain it a little further.
"Zero… If I tell you and Yuuki, what if you two don't want to be my friend anymore? What if, after finding out what I really am, you guys don't want to have anything to do with me? Call me selfish, Zero, but I don't want to lose you guys. Not now. Not ever. And I'm not willing to take that chance—the chance of losing you because I chose to tell you."
His eyes were cautious. "Are you too much of an idiot to realize that if you don't tell us, the chances of us being lost by you is higher than you explaining?"
"I thought about that," I muttered. "But if I tell you, I'm absolutely positive you'll try and find a solution or something for me, or try and help me when the time comes. And if, or when, the time comes, I don't want you two to have to get hurt because of me."
"'When the time comes?'"
Slowly, I nodded my head. "You'll find out sooner or later, Zero. You're not an idiot. Read in between the lines—work that intelligent brain of yours and try to find out every single thing I could mean when I said that."
"I have about five different meanings in my head, none of which are pleasant," he grumbled, scowling. He looked me straight in the eye with his lavender ones, like he was contemplating whether or not he should trust me. His eyes were hard—suspicious. But at the same time, when I looked in them, I saw the trust that contradicted with his betrayal.
"I'll tell you," I told him. "I promise I will—Just… Not now."
Zero was frustrated—it didn't take a genius to tell. He was probably having an inner-battle within himself, and he gave me a hard stare. "You will." It was a statement, not a question. It was more like he was demanding me to tell him, and that I had to no matter what. His tone of voice told me I didn't have a choice.
I would tell him sooner or later.
No questions asked.
"I will," I repeated. "I promise…"
He shook his head slightly, almost in a disgusted way.
A pang of hurt hit my chest. It wasn't the kind of hurt and anger I felt towards Shiki, and still felt towards him. No… It hurts so much worse. So, so much worse. It's like when your bestest (Yes, it's not a word, but who cares?), best, best, best friend accuses you of stealing their last chocolate bar when they knew you didn't do it, but still start some sort of huge argument about it. It was similar to that, but the hurt was magnified a hundred times.
No hurt could ever surpass this amount I felt as I stared into Zero's eyes.
It hurt bad.
"…What happened?"
I gave Zero a confused look. "Happened with what?"
His face was set back into his usual scowl, and I could visibly see him relax. "The bloodsucker," Zero informed me curtly. His eyes were bitter and his lips pulled deeper into a scowl as he the words left his lips, and even though he didn't say the name, I already knew which "bloodsucker" he was referring to.
Another pang of hurt crashed down onto me, but this time, it was different. It wasn't as intense as it was when Zero looked at me like I was a complete stranger, but it still hurt a lot more than it should've.
Instead of having your best friend accuse you of stealing cookies, it was almost like… Almost like, on the first day of kindergarten, you meet this kid who you thought, at that time, could become a really good friend. And then, around a week or so later, you guys are playing with ABC blocks happily… Until they yank your hair and call you a boogerface.
You know? It was just kind of like that kind of hurt.
Zero and I have been friends for so long, and it was obvious that what happened with Shiki wouldn't hurt as much as the little episode with Zero. I wasn't quite sure why, though, it hurt so much more than it should have.
There are glares given to me every day by other students, and teachers practically stare at me loathingly all day long. Night Class students look at me in disgust and wrinkle their noses whenever I'm near them, almost like I had this putrid scent radiating off of me. And this never really bugged me.
So why did it seem such a big deal?
My face instantly smoothed out into one void of emotion. "Nothing," I told him flatly, averting my eyes away.
A small, almost non-existent, scoff.
I sighed. "Nothing happened," I repeated dully. "He was just someone I talked to, I guess. It wasn't like we were friends or anything."
Actually, we were.
For three days.
Zero looked at me with a grimace like usual, but I could tell he was analyzing me with disbelieving eyes. His face twisted slightly, but he didn't say anything. Instead, I saw something flitter across his face for a few brief seconds before it disappeared just as quickly as it came.
I stared at him in bewilderment, my voice a whisper, "You care?"
He shot me a dull look before it was replaced with a scowl. His face contorted slightly, like he was trying to force his face into it's usual half-scowl half-grimace kind of look. He shrugged his shoulders slightly and stated, "Think what you want."
Happiness crashed down on me—Zero cared. He wasn't completely pissed off at me, and he didn't exactly despise me, either. It was amazing, really, how happy I felt.
A small smile came onto my face. "You care, Zero? You don't hate me?"
He scoffed. "You said you'll tell me," he stated. "Good enough."
I swear that my eyes were shining like diamonds when those words left his mouth. "Really?" I couldn't keep the nonchalant tone in my voice anymore. Emotions—relief, surprise, happiness and whatnot—flowed into my voice as I stared at Zero.
He didn't say anything in response. Instead, he tilted his head up towards the sky again. He inhaled deeply, his chest heaving. He held the breath in for a few moments before he exhaled, opening his eyes and stuffing his hands in his pockets again. Zero's lavender eyes were once again void of any emotion, and he asked nonchalantly, "What'd he do?"
Shaking my head at his question, I closed my eyes.
I sighed internally. "…Nothing," I replied flatly, making sure that the hurt didn't leak into my voice. If I let it show then Zero would definitely catch on. There's no doubt he'd go and gladly kill Shiki or something without really thinking about it. And while he's there, he's probably going to start something with Kaname, too, which will get Yuuki and all the other vampires involved…
Zero gave me a suspicious look. He obviously didn't believe me, and I didn't like the way his light violet eyes had a certain spark to it. It was almost like he was planning to do something, but… I don't think Zero's as reckless as running into the Moon Dorms and shooting blindly.
After a while, he shrugged his shoulders in an uncaring manner.
Not really wanting to talk some more about Shiki—the lying bastard—I decided to change the topic. I bit down on my lower lip slightly. "About that new Night Class student…"
The two of us spotted Yuuki and the new girl walking back towards the Night Class classroom, the tour most likely finished. Zero and I glanced at each other before we began walking after them, behind in a distance. You can never be sure what those vampires could do—hell, you never know what Yuuki would do. Though she never intends it, she can be very… Talkative.
And sometimes, people don't like that.
"We need to watch her," I grumbled, ducking under a large tree branch that was in the way.
Zero didn't seem very happy about what I said. "'We'?" He asked, scowling.
I nodded my head once. "Yes, 'we'."
"Why can't you do it?" Zero retorted. He calmly, and gracefully, jumped over a spot on the ground. I had no idea why he did it—I thought he was weird. I was proven wrong, however, when I took one single step on the wet grass there and slipped. I would've fallen face-first into that pile of grass if I didn't grab onto a nearby tree, steadying myself.
Scowling, I carefully pulled myself up and jumped over the wet spot, walking faster to catch up to Zero. "You could've warned me," I complained.
He didn't even bother responding as he continued walking, his eyes locked on the new girl. A vibe was coming off of Zero in waves—it didn't take a genius to tell that Zero didn't like the new girl at all. I don't think he likes any of the Night Class students, actually… Mainly because they're all "bloodsucking parasites" as he calls them.
And yes, he refers to himself as well.
My face twisted slightly. "Zero?"
He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes. "What?" He asked.
"…You love Yuuki, don't you?"
The question was so surprising to him that he stopped dead in his tracks, his lavender eyes widened just slightly. His body tensed, and I'm pretty sure he clenched his fists inside his Day Class uniform. He stared at me deeply—not in the way that meant he wanted to kill me for asking him something like that or that he was mad. He looked at me like he wasn't sure how to respond.
My face was set in a sympathetic grimace as I looked at him—I saw how much it hurt him to have to endure seeing Yuuki be all lovey-dovey around Kaname, and I could see how much he wanted it to be him. His feelings for Yuuki weren't that of siblings or close friends—he loved her. He wanted a more intimate relationship with her.
But he knew he wouldn't get it.
Zero blinked slowly, and then began to walk again in silence. He continued walking straight, towards the cement balcony in front of, but below, the class the Night Class studies in. We saw Yuuki and the Night Class student enter through the main entrance, so it's safe to assume that they were on their way up to the classroom—everyone would be able to hear if anything happened.
The two of us took the stairs up to the balcony, both of us not saying a word. Our footsteps hardly made any sound as we climbed up the stairs. It was colder up here, but not unbearable. The nights were getting colder and colder, since winter is so near. But it didn't really bother me, and I'm sure it didn't bother Zero, either.
He leaned against the cement fence that was built to keep everyone from falling off, closing his eyes. He crossed his arms across his chest, and I knew he wasn't going to answer.
How is it possible for him to answer my question when his brain was already going crazy? Zero probably didn't even know his own thoughts about Yuuki, let alone how he feels about her.
I sat down on the top of the thick cement fence, my face down as my eyes stared at the gray floor. My hands gripped the edge tightly, my knuckles turning white. We were so close to the Night Class students that I could feel their aura—I could smell each and every single one of them because their window was open.
I smelt him.
Yuuki's smell and aura, along with the new girl's, soon entered the room, and though I couldn't hear it, I'm sure Yuuki was spluttering about how sorry she is for being later and then blushing as that Kaname dude caresses her face like she's some sort of special doll or something. And then it wouldn't be hard to figure out the new girl introducing herself and everyone welcoming her and blah, blah, blah…
The silver-haired teen and I were consumed in our own thoughts, not really bothering to try and make conversation with each other. We both knew that the other person was already in a trance, and besides, it was a comfortable silence. Even after I asked that question, there's been no tension.
I felt two pairs of eyes burning holes on the top of my head. It was probably Yuuki—she would be staring at me and hoping that I would look up so she could wave and give me the thumbs up or something.
Sighing, I lifted my head up.
Wrong.
Behind the clear, clear class of the Night Class' classroom, I saw Shiki standing there with his hands in his pockets, his face impassive and bored as his blue eyes looked down at me. But it wasn't that that surprised me—I saw Shiki sometimes. We just never talked.
It was who was next to him.
A girl with long, navy blue hair had her arms around his neck. Her hair was long and was slightly curled and waved, like she had it done at a salon right before she came. Her skin was pale, a dark aura emitting from her.
Her face was so close to Shiki's it wasn't funny—it looked like she wanted to lick his face. In fact, I bet you she did—her tongue flicked out and she licked her lips as she whispered something in his ear. She turned her head to see what he was staring at.
Dark violet eyes met light lavender ones, and I felt as if someone had just rammed a giant spear into my chest. I felt the breath leave my lungs when she looked at me with her patronizing pair of eyes. My eyes widened at the sight of her, and I swear my heart completely stopped.
She raised an eyebrow at me, and her ruby-red lips curled up into an evil, menacing smile. She pulled Shiki close to her as if she knew I didn't like to see them that close.
And I knew why she was here.
I was vaguely aware of Zero shaking my shoulder, but it was hardly noticeable to me. My vision began to blur, and I saw chickens flying with pigs.
I saw her lips curl up into a sadistic grin, and before I knew it, darkness hit me right in the head and I fell unconscious.
A / N :
Yes, this is the end of the chapter. It's already Day sixteen, considering the one week that I fastforwarded.
This chapter is going to be heading into the next chapter, which will be the part one portion of Riku's big secret. So, yes. The next chapter will involve Shiki again, and it will start about Riku's secret, so please stay tuned!
I know that this chapter didn't really have much, but this new female student... What do you guys think of her? And, I know that Shiki isn't really in this chapter, but I felt like I needed to explain Zero and Riku's relationship with one another, you know? That, and maybe because I kind of wanted him to have a whole chapter to himself 'cause I totally adore him, but that's not the point! I don't know... It's just, some of you guys may consider Zero OOC in this story, and yet, some of you might actually understand my perspective.
Riku and Zero have been friends for a long, long time. And she's actually one fo those people he lets slip through his barriers, you know? So, I don't know. I tried to make him as IC as possible, but still trying to make him seem like a close friend with Riku. I don't know how well that succeeded, and I'm sorry if you didn't like it.
SPECIAL THANK YOU TO... :
Raserei B. Wolf, JuJukins, twilightchick13, xXPrincess-Of-TwilightXx, Anonymous, basil795, twindarkstar.05, Serena Lockhart, and KurosuX
Yep, thank you to you very much for reviewing for me! I appreciate it greatly, and also, very big thank you to those who story-alerted or favourited! It means a lot to me! ;D
Oh, and by the way, I don't bite. I don't know how many of you have noticed this, but I'm not the kind of person to start spazzing at you if you don't agree with my opinion and everything, you know? I'm just the kind of laid-back kinda gal. You can disagree with me, and I'd just sit back in my chair and nod my head, and then respond with a simple, casual, "Cool." Or something. I just... You know. I just don't go all crazy on you, okay? XP
Keep that in mind when you give me reviews or when you answer my questions! ;D
Now, 'cause I totally love hearing your responses, the question this time will be...
Who do you prefer more? Aidou Hanabusa or Kain Akatsuki?
I'm interested in hearing you answer on which cousin you'd prefer more! ;D Oh, and for those who are curious to my answer to the question for the previous chapter, my answer is a plain, blunt, and simple... NO WAY IN HELL! It's not like I'm a YuukixKaname fan or anything, either. It's just I plainly dislike Yuuki, and I don't think she should be with Zero or Kaname. I'm not bashing her or anything, I'm just stating my opinion. I think that, out of all the characters in Vampire Knight and Vampire Knight Guilty, she's the one character that I dislike the most (Despite Kuran Rido and Ichijou Asato). Don't ask me why, but I just don't like her. At all.
But she's cute, I guess... And nice... I guess....
Okay, I'm just gonna stop talking.
I hope that you guys will continue to support me by reading, reviewing, story-alerting, or favouriting! ;D I'd appreciate this greatly, so...
Please review!
Sayonara,
-EverlastingxSong-
