Better Angels

Chapter 9

Unseen Enemy

"And she ate the whole thing?" Tamako asked incredulously.

Shinji grinned at the nurse, "Yeah, I was amazed too."

Tamako patted Shinji's hand, which she had claimed the instant they were out of the hospital, tucking her own arm through it as they walked. Shinji had blushed at first, but Tamako's lively personality and quick wit had calmed him. Now they strode arm in arm down the street, chatting idly about things each had been doing in the time since they had last met.

"I'm glad that Rei-chan is doing so well," Tamako said, "I think you've been about the best thing that has ever happened to that girl."

Shinji didn't know how to respond to that. He felt embarrassed by the statement, but he also knew that he probably was good for his fellow pilot. Admitting out loud would be another thing though, so he stayed silent.

"Oh don't be that way Shinji," Tamako needled, "Just admit that you might have done something good for someone else."

"Okay." Shinji grimaced.

Tamako just smiled, then gestured as she pulled to a stop in front of an apartment complex, "Well, this is me. I'll let you get back to school unless…?"

Shinji felt suspicion creep into his voice, "What?"

She grinned salaciously, "Unless you want to come tuck me in?"

Shinji groaned and Tamako laughed at the look on his face. She patted his cheek and let his arm go, leaning in and giving him a kiss on the forehead.

"Don't be a stranger Shinji-kun," She trilled, heading for the apartment's entryway.

"Tamako Aida…" He muttered, watching as she disappeared inside.

Shaking himself back to reality with the assistance of the dull ache in his head, Shinji turned to catch sight of the black sedan which had been tailing them. He shook his head as a single thumbs up appeared out of the passenger window. Even his security detail seemed to delight in making him feel uncomfortable. Why was he surrounded by older women who liked to tease?

Shinji turned and trudged his way back towards school, completely drained from the time he had spent in the hospital and his worry over Hikari. He briefly considered skipping, rationalizing it to himself that he wasn't really learning anything. Duty eventually won out over convenience. He supposed that if he wanted to be able to do anything after the Angel crisis was over, other than open a food stand, he should probably at least graduate from high school.

That thought made him think about college. How long was the situation with the Angels supposed to last anyway? Was he destined to grow up fighting them once a month, once a year? As far as he could tell, Tokyo-3 did not yet possess a university of any kind. Sure, some of the most brilliant minds in every field were located here, but not a one of them was actually a qualified professor.

Shinji mulled these thoughts until he finally made it back to school. He reported to the office first to explain his unexpected absence. The principal himself, who was there at the time, told him not to worry about it, and that he would personally make sure that he received an excuse for his absence.

"Why don't you just rest until lunch, it's only ten minutes away and there's no point in disrupting class at this point." He suggested.

Shinji nodded, taking himself outside to sit under the tree which Hikari and he had claimed for themselves on that first day. The place seemed empty without the sternly vivacious presence of his friend. Shinji took the time to close his eyes and meditate, trying to re-center himself after all of the things that had happened on this crazy day.

Before long, Shinji felt the presence of someone approaching. He opened his eyes and saw Rei, accompanied by Sute, as they drew close.

"You left your bag in class." Rei explained.

Sute held out Shinji's book bag, which he took with a grateful smile. The ensuing silence was awkward for two of the three people under the tree. Sute finally muttered a quiet apology and left to sit with some other girls. Rei remained standing until Shinji patted the bench next to him. Rei sat on the opposite side.

"Why over there?" Shinji asked.

"That is Horaki-san's space," Rei explained, "I do not want to take her place."

Shinji looked at her curiously, "What's going on Rei?"

Rei turned to meet his gaze, her blood red orbs regarding him coolly. That gaze always unnerved him. Despite everything they had shared, Rei still only experience emotions in either unexpected bursts, or as muted echoes of what Shinji would describe them as. That absence always showed through her eyes, their lack of expressivity discomfiting.

"Unit-00 is almost ready to begin activation tests once again." She said.

Shinji shivered, "How are you feeling?"

Rei closed her eyes, searching deep inside herself before responding.

"I am… afraid, pilot Ikari," She admitted, "I have been ordered to report a week from Friday to carry out the activation of my unit."

"And you feel like you have one week left to live?" Shinji ventured.

Rei's eyes glistened ever so slightly as she spoke, "Yes."

Shinji held up his hand and Rei placed hers against his. Their fingers intertwined and they sank together into darkness. The mild discomfort of Rei's wounds was overshadowed by something dark and ugly. Fear and despair so profound that they were on the verge of swallowing her completely. The tatters of apathy and discipline floated as shredded paper on the wind about him.

Laid bare, Rei faced the uncertainty of the future without any kind of protection. Shinji felt his own despair as he realized that the reason for her breached defenses was his own work at trying to get through to her. The very act of trying to help her see her own worth had made her susceptible to this internal monster.

His own despair added to her own through the bond they shared, making the fear ever greater. The tiredness already weighing on Shinji brought him to his mental knees, the oppressing weight crushing his very soul. As breathing grew difficult, Shinji felt Rei pull away, breaking the connection.

Slammed back into his own body, Shinji gasped, leaning forward onto his knees. He stared at the ground as he tried to catch his breath.

"How can I face it when I have so much to lose now?" Rei asked.

Shinji shook his head, unable to find an answer. He had already given so much today. There were so many things pulling him in every direction. He was worried about Hikari, he was terrified of what was happening to Misato. Now Rei was starting to fall apart. Shinji saw the small sandcastle he had built being swept away on the tides of an unfair world.

"I don't know Rei," He said.

Rather than reply, Rei shuffled a little closer, her own body pressed against his. When he sat up Rei leaned her head on his shoulder. There they sat, an island of silence and despair surrounded by other knots of teens chatting and laughing with each other. They sat and thought of all of the things that could be, and wished for the things that should be.

XXXXXX

Friday, 14 days since Sachiel

"Synch ratio is holding steady at 17%" Maya reported, "How are you feeling Shinji?"

Shinji shrugged morosely, blowing a jet of fluid from his mouth. Ever since lunch yesterday he had been in a funk. Not even the normally calming acts of preparing food and cleaning had brought him solace. Even worse, Misato had not come home last night, leaving Shinji alone in the house for the first time since his arrival. The deep feeling of loneliness which had overcome Shinji at that point had left him staring at his ceiling until the early hours of the morning.

Rei had failed to show up for school today. Nobody really knew what she was up to, and Shinji honestly didn't feel up to hiking over to her house. It was at that moment that Shinji realized that he had never gotten Rei's number. He assumed she had one due to the fact that one of the first things he had been issued was a phone, complete with a full contact list of pertinent NERV personnel. Rei was not on that list.

"We're going to lower the plug depth Shinji." Ritsuko's voice came over the intercom, "Just try to focus on connecting with the Evangelion."

Shinji nodded, but his heart wasn't in it. Shinji felt a growing mental pressure as they brought him into closer contact with the core of the faux Evangelion. That presence he had felt the first time was there, but whenever he tried to reach out to it there was a sensation of brief connection, then it slipped away. Whatever it was, he didn't have a frame of reference to understand its reaching, and it seemed to lose interest in him as soon as it realized that.

"Okay Shinji," Ritsuko sighed, "That should be good for now, prepare for extraction."

Shinji nodded, feeling the plug slide up and back. He bid the plug technician a good day and trudged over to Ritsuko, who had been waiting for him on the gantry.

"What's going on Shinji?" She asked, "Your synchronization rate is abysmal today."

Shinji shrugged again, "Just a lot of personal stuff."

Ritsuko eyed him, "You do know that if you can't synchronize with your Evangelion we'll all likely die?"

Shinji's temper flared, "Of course I know that!"

Ritsuko's eyes widened temporarily, then grew cold, "Then whatever is keeping you down, I need you to figure it out. We don't know what kind of schedule the Angels are following, but the next one can't be too far away."

Something inside Shinji snapped, "Okay then Ritsuko, how about this. Maybe you can tell me why Rei, my fellow pilot, is being kept in a ghetto where I killed your last angel?! Doesn't she have any significance when it comes to the defense of the city?!"

Ritsuko took a step back, the heat of Shinji's anger literally washing over her. Her mind analyzed the sensation and made the connection that it was probably a psychosensory effect from the unbridled anger in the teen's eyes. Still, she had never felt someone's wrath so palpably, not even the Commander after Rei had-

"You're supposed to be taking care of us Doctor Akagi." Shinji growled, making the title sound like an epithet.

"The Commander has given strict instr-" She tried.

"The Commander can go to hell!" Shinji yelled, thrusting a finger at her, "You might be letting him screw you, but that doesn't mean he gets to bend the rest of us over!"

Ritsuko stared at Shinji in shock, 'How does he know about the Commander and I?'

Shinji turned towards one of the ubiquitous cameras which were located throughout the facility, leveling his accusing finger at it.

"Do you hear me father?!" He yelled, "Whatever it is you are planning, whatever sick, twisted game you are playing, it ends here! Either start acting like a real Commander and take care of your troops, or the next time I get in my Eva I'm putting my fist through your office!"

He turned back to Ritsuko, his voice becoming a growl, "Medical exemption good doctor. Do your job."

Ritsuko, having recovered while Shinji ranted at the security footage, gave him an arched eyebrow. Juvenile outbursts failed to impress her, even ones fueled by a rage which she mildly understood.

"I'll tell you what Shinji, why don't we cut a deal?" She said, "You head right over to Unit-01 and jump into the plug so I can get some more data, and I'll make sure Rei gets moved into your complex. Hell, I'll even make sure she gets on the same floor as you."

Shinji regarded her suspiciously, "What's the catch?"

Ritsuko shrugged, "No catch, just twenty minutes in synch with your Evangelion. Misato is technically in charge when you get into Unit-01, so she calls the shots. We'll keep it on the down low, just you, me, and a few technicians."

Shinji felt a deep sense of dread at the thought of having to keep a secret from Misato. They had begun to build a bond of trust, if he gave in to Ritsuko's suggestion it might be damaged beyond repair. On the other hand, Rei had hit a stopping point. Shinji felt sure that bringing her closer would help with her social isolation. And then there was…

"I want something else." He countered.

Ritsuko raised an eyebrow, "A bit demanding aren't we?"

Shinji raised a finger, "As warlord Akashi Tokugana said when he confronted the starving survivors of southern Japan, 'I have what you want, you will pay the price I demand.'"

Ritsuko chuckled, "I see you haven't been neglecting your studies."

"Post second impact history is a hobby of mine." He responded, "So, what will it be?"

"What is your price?" She asked.

Shinji told her, and Ritsuko smiled. She decided that she liked Shinji.

XXXXXX

"I'm initiating the startup sequence," Ritsuko said through the communicator, "Are you ready Shinji?"

Shinji nodded to her image, "Ready Ritsuko."

Ritsuko gave a grin to her co-conspirator and hit the enter button on the keyboard before her.

Shinji closed his eyes as energy flowed around the plug and through the Eva. He let himself slip into the void between consciousness and floated there, waiting for the Evangelion to awake. A growing light in the darkness warned him of her approach, and he braced himself. The Evangelion sent questioning tendrils out towards him, and he opened himself to her.

Having practiced with the sharing of pain, Shinji held himself slightly aloof when the light rushed towards him. The Evangelion was hungry for him, and a deep part of Shinji yearned for the connection as well. Despite the temptation, Shinji pushed her back, holding her at arm's length. Dissatisfaction like a tidal wave cascaded through the bond, but Shinji held fast. She finally settled down, content with the part of him that was now connected to and infusing her.

"Great job Shinji!" Ritsuko called, "Your vitals are holding steady and you've reached a synch ratio of 67%. I'm going to have to call Doctor Karapetyan and tell him that his golden girl has been officially dethroned."

"Who?" Shinji asked, giving her image a quizzical look.

Ritsuko waved an unconcerned hand, "The second child, she's been training to be a pilot since she was a child. On her best day she runs at 60%. You've reached The Embrace of Eternity."

"The what?" He asked, more confused now.

"It's a theoretical limit," Ritsuko explained as she began working at her terminal, "The first is Gehenna's Gate at 20%, that's the activation threshold. Anything lower than that won't actually activate the unit. The next is 50%, which we call The Edge of Limbo. Once you pass that you start unlocking the latent potential of the Eva."

"What happens when I pass The Embrace of Eternity?" He asked cautiously.

"Well, from the two times you've done it, I've been able to theorize that the connection grows strong enough to where the pilot is no longer just controlling the Eva, but is actually one with it. Your A-10 should become redundant, as the nerve implants in the Eva are bypassed by the connection" She replied.

"And past 100%?" He asked quietly now.

Ritsuko looked up, making eye contact with him, "The Road Home."

Shinji held eye contact, prompting her to go on.

Ritsuko sighed, "Theoretically, and that's all that this is, the Evangelion starts feeding information back into the pilot."

Shinji lowered his eyebrows, "But I already get visual and sensory feedback from my Eva."

Ritsuko shook her head, "Your nervous system is synchronized with the Evangelion right now. What you get is your own nervous system echoing the same impulses that are traveling to the Evangelion's brain. The A-10 headset allows for a one-way transfer of your motor impulses into the Eva when you want it to do something. When you enter The Road Home, those impulses travel directly from the Evangelion to you, rather than being mimicked by your body."

"What happens then?" He asked.

Ritsuko shrugged, "You're the only person who has done it, and it shouldn't be possible. I could throw out wild theories all day about what will happen to you if you sustain injury while on The Road Home, but they would just be guesses."

"So I should avoid synchronizing that high?"

Ritsuko hesitated, "Shinji, the higher your synch ratio, the more powerful you and your Eva will become. I'm not saying that you should never try to pass that limit, because there may come a day when you need to in order to win. I also admit to a level of scientific curiosity as to what will happen when you step past the limit that the rest of us thought was absolute."

Shinji grimaced, "Thanks."

"I am who I am Shinji," Ritsuko said, "I won't sacrifice what makes me, well, me, for anyone."

Shinji snorted, "I guess we're all just lab rats to you."

"In a way you are Shinji," Ritsuko replied, continuing her work, "The second child used to be the source of all of our information about the Evangelions. Now that you have surpassed her in that area, you're the prototype."

"Again, thanks." Shinji replied dryly.

"You're welcome," Ritsuko gave a smile, "It's nice to know that you're useful isn't it?"

Shinji pondered that sentence as they both fell silent, 'To feel useful… is that what Ritsuko feels about herself? Misato is tied up in her feelings about her own body. Maybe Ritsuko is wrapped up in the need to be useful to somebody, no matter what that use is.'

Shinji quickly shut down that line of thinking, gagging slightly at the thought of Ritsuko with his…

"Everything okay Shinji?" Ritsuko asked, "You're starting to fluctuate."

Shinji sighed, bringing himself back to the level of focus needed to maintain the connection with Unit-01, "Sorry Ritsuko, just thinking about something."

Ritsuko snorted and got back to work, 'Teenagers.'

The twenty minutes passed quickly, and when Shinji stepped down from the plug Ritsuko was waiting for him. The woman was slightly shorter than Shinji, which forced her to look up at him as he approached.

"Got what you wanted?" Shinji asked.

Ritsuko nodded, "With extra to boot. I'll make sure Rei's transfer goes through due to medical concerns. If the Commander asks, it's due to exotic Angelic material contamination. As for your other request, just let me know, I'll make it happen."

Shinji grinned at her, "Okay Ritsuko, and thank you."

"Always glad to be of service." She replied with a small smile.

"Oh, one more thing." He said before turning away.

"I hope I won't regret this." Ritsuko murmured.

"Do you have Rei's number?" Shinji asked.

Ritsuko instantly grew distant, "I do, but I think that's something that you should get from her personally. If she doesn't want to share it with you, then it is not my place to do so."

Shinji shrugged and grinned, covering up the burst of antipathy that shot through his system, "Neither of us has thought to exchange numbers yet since we see each other every day."

Ritsuko shook her head, "You need to be careful around Rei. She doesn't simply 'forget things,' if she wanted you to have your number then you would have it. The girl is cold, always has been. I know she has some kind of attraction to you Shinji, but if you encourage it then you will only get hurt."

Shinji scowled, "I'll thank you to not tell me who I should or should not spend my time with Ritsuko. You're hardly in any position to tell people that they shouldn't be spending time with people who will only end up hurting them."

Ritsuko flushed at that, "We're consenting adults Shinji, what happens between us is a private matter, and I'm old enough to know what is good for me."

Shinji shook his head, "I don't think you do Ritsuko. You might think you know my father, you might even think that he feels something for you other than carnal lust. I can guarantee you that he doesn't. I've seen the man exactly once since I've arrived at Tokyo-3, and that was an intimidation tactic to get me to pilot Unit-01."

"Don't trick yourself into thinking that he cares about you. There is one person that my father cares about, and that person sits on his high and mighty throne, moving us all like pawns in a twisted game that will end with more than a few of us dead."

Ritsuko felt sick in her stomach, "You have no idea what you are talking about Shinji."

She gave a significant look at a nearby camera, "You should watch your words when you are here at NERV. More than one person has been removed for a wagging tongue."

"My father has a use for me," Shinji laughed bitterly, gesturing at Unit-01, "Until he either finds a new pilot or I become incapable of doing so, he can't afford to get rid of me."

"Don't be so arrogant Shinji," Ritsuko warned, "Even you can eventually be replaced, if you become too much of a liability then you will be discarded. Now go, and don't mention this to me again."

Shinji felt the finality of the words. He eyed Ritsuko as she turned away from him. There was something more than annoyance in those eyes and in that posture. The way that she moved swiftly, as if to distance herself from the conversation, finally gave it away.

Ritsuko Akagi, the bogeyman according to Rei Ayanami, was afraid of even talking bad about Gendo Ikari.

Shinji shivered, not entirely from the cold of drying LCL on his body.

XXXXXX

Hot water swept away Shinji's cares, but it also scalded away the armor of cynicism which Ritsuko had girded him with during their encounter. The despair of his situation washed over him again. Rei should be moving into their complex soon, but that was no guarantee of any success in continuing to reach out to her.

His other request though…

Shinji smiled, the hot water suddenly become a solace again. Yes, things would work out. Nii-san had always told him that any situation could be overcome, if only you took it from another angle.

'Now I just have to make sure that I don't die.' He thought grimly.

XXXXXX

Rei was staring out her window when she got the news. A simple text message on her phone told her that she was being relocated. The girl who had felt nothing felt… lost. This place had been her home for so long, it had been an anchor she could hold on to when things got rough.

"It is just a place." She told herself, "A medical reason for leaving is legitimate, and I am required to comply."

As a team of professionals entered her abode to begin packing her things, Rei remained in her chair, staring at the blood red sunset, wondering why she felt even more empty than when the day had begun.

XXXXXX

Shinji arrived home later than usual, and the small number of boxes he found waiting outside one of the apartments confirmed for him Ritsuko's compliance. Humming happily, he made his way to the apartment he shared with Misato. Upon entering he found that he was the last one home for a change. Even more surprising was the fact that Misato was trying to cook dinner, trying being the operating word.

A string of curses from the kitchen led Shinji there, where he watched Misato plead to, bargain with, and threaten the rice cooker. The teriyaki was on the verge of burning, and Shinji couldn't help but chuckle at the state of affairs.

"Shinji!" Misato yelped, "I didn't hear you come in!"

Shinji chuckled, taking pity on Misato and coming up beside her, quickly stirring the pre-packaged food she had simply thrown into a skillet. That done, he gently pushed her to the kitchen table while he deftly coaxed the rice cooker back into compliance.

"Should be another ten minutes Misato." He said, "Why don't you relax for a bit?"

Misato looked disgruntled, "I'm not helpless you know Shinji. I've survived… many years without you."

Shinji smiled through his own pain, "Of course Misato."

"I mean it!"

"Of course you do."

Misato grumped, but took his advice, turning on the TV to something completely braindead and letting herself vegetate while Shinji finished up their food.

"Did you see that someone is moving in across the way?" Misato called to him, "I wonder if they're bringing in some fresh blood."

The housing apartment in which they lived was NERV owned and operated, specifically for the use of NERV personnel. It was no surprise that she thought it was simply a new employee being brought in. The idea that it was a civilian was foreign to her thinking. Of course, NERV was still a civilian outfit, but the attitude of the employees there lay somewhere between professional and military, as evidenced by the fact that the tactical personnel all had ranks.

"Yeah, I saw it," Shinji replied airily, "I think that you might be surprised when you find out who it is!"

Misato turned a suspicious gaze on him, "What are you talking about Shinji?"

Shinji shrugged, placing their bowls on the table, "Let's eat."

After a few moments of eating, Misato finally gave in to her curiosity and set down her chopsticks.

"Okay Shinji, spill it." She demanded.

"I talked to Ritsuko today after my test," Shinji replied, "I was a little… harsh, but in the end she agreed to move Rei out of her old apartment."

"That easily huh?" Misato asked dangerously, "What did you have to give her."

"Nothing," Shinji lied, his face flushing slightly.

Misato's eyes narrowed. She knew that Shinji had just lied to her. The flush on his face and the rapid denial was just about as good as a level five interrogation suite when it came to Shinji. For all of the time she had known him he had been absolutely honest with her. In fact, the one time he had lied had been to tell her that she didn't look like a mess after her second day of alcohol withdrawals. Even then, the white lie might as well have been a firework sent up on a moonless night.

Misato contemplated the young man. Something had happened between him and Ritsuko, and Misato didn't like it. It was true, Ristuko and her had been very good friends. In a way, they still were. But ever since they had both started working for NERV they had grown distant. Ritsuko was consumed with her work, and Misato with… other things. Now she had Shinji wrapped up in something, and she didn't like it one bit.

"You know you can tell me anything right?" Misato asked gently, curbing her anger.

Shinji dropped his eyes, his blush growing, "Of course Misato-san."

'No everything Misato-san' he thought sadly, 'I'm so sorry'

Misato sensed that she was at a tipping point. She could push and possibly get her answer, but only at the risk of pushing the boy away. She had put a lot of effort in to making this place a home where Shinji felt comfortable. Now her own suspicion and what passed for maternal instinct were warring with her understanding that teenagers sometimes needed to keep secrets from their parents.

Misato chuckled out loud as she thought of that. Shinji's parent? Misato was nowhere near qualified to be a parent to a normal child, let alone to one with several papers' worth of mental issues to deal with. As his guardian, she was little more than a roommate, but as a friend, she thought she could be more than just that.

"Okay Shinji," Misato said, "I know you aren't telling me everything, but that's ok. I trust you."

Shinji felt a deep sense of shame at that. He knew that the synchronization test was one of the few things which Misato had specifically forbidden. Going behind her back had been necessary, but it still filled him with regret.

"Thanks Misato." Shinji replied quietly, keeping his eyes down.

They finished their meal in silence and both headed to bed early, hoping for something better to come with the dawn.

XXXXXX

Saturday, 15 days since Sachiel

Shinji was awoken by a small avalanche hammering on the front door of his apartment. He jumped to his feet and slid his room door open just as Misato did the same. They looked at each other, then made a beeline for the door.

Misato got there first, throwing the door open, "Is it an Angel?!"

Sergey stood in the doorway, his expression somber, "No, it is pilot Ayanami."

Shinji felt ice crystallize in his veins, "What is it?"

Sergey looked past the striking figure of Misato to him, "We've lost her."

Misato was down the hallway, her shirt halfway off, "I'll be out in a minute!"

Shinji followed her, diving into his room and throwing on some clothes. He reappeared at the door with Misato, and they followed Sergey out into the early morning. The sun began to peek from behind the horizon as Sergey led them towards a black sedan.

"She had just been moved into her new residence," He explained, "Our midnight check in was unable to find her. We followed standard procedures, but it has been over four hours and we've still had no luck."

"What have you checked?" Misato asked.

"All of her normal haunts," Sergey replied, "Although that is mainly the school, NERV, and her old residence. No signs so far."

"Do you know why she's gone?" Shinji asked.

Sergey shook his head, "She seemed normal, for Rei. Although now that I think about it she seemed more like the Rei we knew before you Ikari-san."

Shinji felt a pit form deep in his stomach, "Is this my fault?"

Sergey stopped, turning to face him, "No Shinji. Rei is capable of making her own choices. I was hoping that you might have some insight into where she might have gone."

Shinji rubbed his chin, "Have you checked the hospital?"

Sergey shook his head, "I'll send a team. Misato, you're going with-"

"I'm solo." Misato replied coldly, "As far as I'm concerned this is now a battle. I'll be giving the orders."

Sergey paused, then nodded, ceding control to the violet haired captain.

Misato turned to Shinji, "You head out with whatever members of Noble team are on duty. See if anything comes to your head. Sergey, order your team to fan out and start knocking on doors. The girl is hard to miss."

Sergey nodded, disappearing. Noble-1 and Noble-2 appeared next to Shinji in the next instant, taking charge of their principal.

"Looks like you're with us Purple." Noble-1 grinned, "Just stay close, I don't want Blue to bite your head off when we find her."

Noble-2 snorted, "The girl adores him One."

Noble-1 shrugged, "You should have seen me after my last boyfriend found me after a bender…"

"You and Ayanami-chan are hardly alike." Noble-2 replied.

"Can you two stop bickering?" Shinji growled.

The two agents glanced at him and each other, then fell silent with mirthless chuckles.

"Where to Purple?" Noble-1 asked.

Shinji stood for a moment, running through his own mind. Rei Ayanami was highly intelligent, but not he most creative person. Kraken team had already checked all of the places that she often frequented, so that left him with nothing obvious. Shinji dug deeper into his mind, taking his forehead into one hand as he thought.

Rei was feeling lost and afraid. Shinji flayed himself internally for leaving her alone for so long. Of course she was likely to do something. Not only was she feeling at her most vulnerable due to fear of impending death, she was becoming more sensitive emotionally, which would have doubled the effects of that fear. He had been so wrapped up in his own problems when they had spoken that he had failed to realize that she had been trying to call for help.

Cursing, Shinji pounded his head, where could she be!

Noble-1 touched his shoulder gently, "Hey kid, take it easy for a moment."

Shinji shook his head, "I can't. If I had had my eyes open yesterday I would have seen this coming. Instead, we're here now, and I need to come up with something to fix this."

Noble forced his head up with her hands on either side of his face, "Listen to me Purple. You're just one sixteen-year-old kid. The chances that you could have averted this crisis are almost zero. Stop blaming yourself and put that massive orange you call a head to work doing something productive rather than blaming yourself."

Shinji stared at her defiantly for a second before deflating, "Okay."

"Sit," She commanded, "You're the closest thing Ayanami-chan has to a friend. Where would she go?"

"I… Don't know." Shinji admitted, "Some friend I am."

"Think harder." She urged, turning to scope out her surroundings.

Shinji closed his eyes, slipping into darkness. Alone inside of himself, he concentrated on Rei Ayanami. He imagined her blue hair and red eyes, her almost full figure, which would never rival Misato's, but would be more than beautiful. He thought deeper, imagining the indifference that had once characterized her, and the now fetal emotions which had awoken themselves inside her. Then he felt the wave of fear which had descended upon her.

He saw her, standing alone against that tide, and realized what he had done wrong. Tears dripped from his real eyes as he saw her trying to stand alone, defiant despite the weaknesses he had bestowed upon her. She was like a child confronting a charging rhino, and he had simply left her to her devices. He had left an infant to try and fight something that would have crushed a full grown woman.

Then he felt it, something tugged at a deep place in his chest.

"We need to go to the old city." He said, "As close to the crater as we can get."

"That's a restricted zone," Noble-2 said, "They'd stop us before we got close."

Noble-1 grinned, "I thought you liked a challenge Two. Let's go Shinji, lead the way."

XXXXXX

The area around the crater where Sachiel had completed its final death throes was a wasteland. Noble-2 had stayed behind to 'distract' the JSSDF personnel who were charged with keeping people away from the destruction. Shinji had been mortified when the woman had stripped almost completely naked and sauntered over to those men. Some of the things she had suggested…

"Eyes up Purple," Noble-1 ordered, "We're in hostile territory."

"We're in a dead place," Shinji replied quietly, "Can't you feel it?"

The ground around them was almost hallowed with its quiet. It was like the place had become uninhabitable after the attack. As they had drawn closer to where his first opponent had killed itself, the sounds of animals, then insects, had faded to nothing, leaving them facing scores of ruined buildings. Shinji had felt especially cold when he saw shifted rubble next to a building, blood still staining the stones from what had probably been a trapped person.

As they picked their way towards the crater, Shinji realized that there was a single, no, two figures in the middle of the crater. Squinting his eyes, he realized that the first was Rei, her blue hair unmistakable even from a distance. The other was a man in a simple suit. He stood above Rei as she curled up on the ground, a possessive hand on her shoulder.

Shinji took off at a run, despite Noble-1 calling after him. With a curse she took off after the young man, but her own endurance and speed couldn't match the wings which his desperation lent him. As he drew close, the man held up a hand.

"That's close enough Shinji-san." The figure said.

Shinji skidded to a stop, the slight menace in the man's words stopping him in his tracks. Six meters separated them, but to Shinji it felt as if he were watching Rei from across a depthless chasm. Her eyes were hollow, and her legs were curled up against her chest as she hugged them to herself. She didn't seem to notice that he was here.

Noble-1 skidded to a stop next to Shinji, her sidearm leveled at the man, "Step away from the girl sir, or I blow a hole in your chest."

The man tilted his head, but complied, stepping back, "Of course Kasumi-san."

"On your knees!" Noble-1 growled.

Shinji examined the man. He was nondescript, of average height and with short, brown hair. His eyes though… they glowed with an inner light if you looked closely enough. A golden radiance that danced briefly in the iris if you caught it.

The man failed to comply, and addressed Shinji, "Hello Ikari-kun. I had been wondering who the other pilot was. It seems as if this diversion has provided more than intended. I won't say I'm not grateful."

"What did you do the Rei?" Shinji snarled, taking a step forward, "If you've hurt her…"

The man laughed, "More than you already have Shinji-kun? I just told her the truth about you and all your wonderful plans for her. I didn't even have to go and get her, she came to me here looking for something to help fight the fear that you've so cleverly instilled in her."

"I didn't do that!" Shinji yelled.

"Didn't you?" He asked, "Tell me, if you had left well enough alone, do you think that she would be in this state right now? This fragile abomination is the worst of you filthy Lilim. She's so close to the mother that I can smell the stink of her through that shell. Yet for all that she resembles her, she's insignificant and broken on the inside."

Shinji let rage wash away the guilt for now, "Who are you?"

"Perhaps you should ask your… Nii-san?" The man replied, then grinned at the shock on Shinji's face, "Oh yes. That meddling old man thought he could interfere with what we have planned."

The man seemed to look through him for a moment, then smiled broadly, "Ah, but you can't can you! I can smell him on you, but it's old. He must be dead. Oh, what a wonderful turn of events. He probably sacrificed himself to save you from Sachiel. What a fool."

The man reached for his pocket, "Honestly Shinji, to thi-"

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

One shot punched through the man's chest, then two more blasted red mist out the back of his head. The light in those eyes sparkled for a moment, suspending the corpse in the air, then he slumped to the ground. Light welled out from the body, drifting past Shinji and Noble-1.

I am Light reborn. The Heavenly Host stands against you Shinji Ikari. Weep, and know despair.

Shinji swayed and Noble-1 steadied him.

"That was some weird buzzing," She commented, "let's get Rei."

Shinji remembered the bluenette and lunged forward. Dropping to the ground next to her, he wrapped his arms around him. For all the response he got, he might well have been embracing stone.

"Rei?" He asked softly.

Her eyes rotated to take him in, then swiveled back to the far distance.

"Rei, I'm sorry." He wept.

Rei continued staring at a point in the distance. When he tried to reach through the darkness, he felt only despair. As far as he could tell, the Rei he knew and cared for was gone.

"What have I done?" He whispered, still cradling the broken girl.

The harsh light of day washed over them, it's blistering intensity scorching away the last vestiges of hope.

XXXXXX

"Report." Gendo Ikari snarled, barely keeping his fingers from the throat of the head of engineering standing before him.

"Sir," The woman gulped hard, "It looks like the devices were smuggled in over the past two weeks as parts, then assembled and placed during the chaos this morning."

"And no one decided that maybe they should check on anomalous materials being dumped into the Evangelion's LCL pool?"

"Sir," The woman protested, "By the time you get to the Evangelion cages we don't monitor for things like that. The materials should have been caught on their way in!"

"The head of security is already looking for a new job on the equatorial belt," Gendo replied, "You are a hair's breadth from joining him. Now tell me what needs to be done to fix it."

"Sir, we'll need at least a week, the entire left leg was blown completely off. It looks like some of the charges on the upper left were faulty, so that's not a problem. Whoever did this knew exactly where to exploit the weaknesses of the armor."

"Weaknesses?" Gendo asked dangerously, "We send those things out to defend humanity and you tell me they have weaknesses?"

"They're hardened sir," She explained, "but the charges were inserted under those hard points."

"So we have an enemy inside…" Gendo pondered.

"It's the only logical conclusion." The Engineer agreed, feeling sick.

"Very well," Gendo replied, "Make sure sweeps are carried out hourly from here on out. The next time something like this happens you will be lucky if you leave this room alive."

The engineer gulped, "Sir…"

Gendo raised an impatient eyebrow and she continued, "What are we going to do?"

Gendo sighed, rubbing his temples, "What we must. Go, and make it five days."

The engineer saluted and practically ran from the room. Gendo picked up the picture of his late wife, caressing the portrait.

"Show me what to do Yui," He pleaded, "The scrolls have failed us, and the old men are applying pressure at every point. What do I have to do to have you back?"

The moment of weakness passed quickly, and the hardened man once again stared out across his deceptively large office. Before him lay a single scrap of paper, a stylized double H scrawled below a message.

We will rise again


A/N: Howdy folks,

This was supposed to be a lighter chapter, I promise. Every time I wrote in something that would ease the burdens being heaped on the characters it just felt wrong. So now you get this mess and I have to help Shinji and co. figure out how to pull themselves out of the problems I've made for them.

Stay tuned, and remember, no matter what pops out onto my word processor,

Hope never dies.