"The Avalanche Has Already Started."
Disclaimer – I still own nothing but a large amount of debt and a considerable lack of talent, (down from severe OK?). Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (shame)
Chapter 9 – Scooters, Surprises and Sweets
Naomi
'Life is good and so am I.'
Have you ever noticed how much better everything is when your life is pretty much sorted? Smells are stronger, colours are more vivid, things are just, well, brilliant.
One afternoon, one long chat, one session of mind blowing sex and one opportunity to relax, to get away from the last week of hell. I'm feeling better than I've felt for days. It's not all sweetness and light but my head's a little straighter and that'll do for now. Emily given me a talking to, made me realise a few things and I can't tell you how happy I am about it. In fact I'm so happy I'm not even that nervous about Ems' driving as we whip through the country lanes from the lake heading home.
She is just fucking amazing, somehow she seems to know exactly what I'm thinking and what I need. She's also probably the only person I know that's capable of making me feel better when she's ripping strips off me for my stupidity, anyone else would still get the full on ice-queen treatment if they tried. I'm not sure if it's just her, or it's a result of being in love or a combination of the two but it's true…and yes I know I have become a soppy bastard and frankly I don't care.
Actually it doesn't matter if I do care, I just can't help myself these days.
I don't know how or when she came up with going to the lake to get away from things but I'm glad she did. I'm even glad we had our little chat, no matter how hard and tearful it was. I've seen the light at the end of the tunnel today, and I'm feeling that wonderful feeling of connectedness with her. The one I'd lost, got back and was starting to lose again. Until today.
Life is indeed good. I'm sat on the back of her insane scooter, arms wrapped around her, hanging on for dear life as we corner and I'm actually loving every minute of it. Her hair is hanging free from the bottom of her helmet and I'm knocked senseless by its smell, by its colour. It's like I'm seeing it for the first time and I can't help leaning in and pushing my face against it as we travel on this two wheeled magic carpet ride.
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!" She yells happily as we plummet down an steep incline in the road, throttle wide open. Ok we aren't really going that fast but she seems to be enjoying it.
"I fucking love this!" she shouts, "It's like being totally free! YEAHHHHH!" She's punching the air with her free hand.
I'm suddenly not feeling quite so free, my empty stomach is churning a little, especially as we wobble a bit as a result of her one-handed grip on the handlebars, but she's so happy I'm not going to ruin the mood.
"I love you," I shout towards her ear, perhaps caught up just a little in her obvious exhilaration.
"What?"
"I said, I love you."
"Can't hear you Nai." she shouted over her shoulder, "too much wind noise."
I'm not sure if she's teasing me to make me say it again or genuinely can't hear me. I can hear her but only just, so I give her the benefit of the doubt. Fuck it, never mind the danger; I lean forwards, my head over her shoulder so our faces are practically level.
"I said. I love you, you fucking maniac."
Note to self, don't do that again, not when we're driving anyway.
She's slammed on the brakes, nearly throwing me off the damned machine and pulled us to a standstill right in the middle of the lane. Before I can complain about the sudden manoeuvre she's turned around on the seat and slammed her lips onto mine kissing me with a passion that's almost painful. Especially as our helmets keep hitting.
Kissing in open face helmets is something that should be undertaken with a little care…trust me on this.
"Jesus Ems," I splutter as she releases me, "don't mind the sentiment but bit of warning would be good. I nearly went over the handlebars then."
She looks like a five year old that's just been told off, "Sorry hun, just kind of - had to, you know?"
I carefully press my face against hers, slowly kissing her, savouring every moment, every movement.
"S'ok babe, just remember you scare the shit out of me when I'm on the back of this thing. Bit of a control freak remember?
Plus it's kind of tough to concentrate on the road when I'm forced to hold you this tight."
"We're not going that fast Nai; you don't have to hold on so tightly you know."
"Oh yes I do," I reply kissing her once again, "it's too good an opportunity to resist."
***
We've pulled up at the house and not a moment too soon. I'm seriously hungry and not just for the pizza, wings, garlic bread and ice cream meal deal we've promised ourselves.
Before I know it I'm being dragged into the house and once my helmet is off I find myself pushed up against the wall roughly by a surprisingly fiery redhead.
"Ems, at least let's order food first, "I say before she silences me with a kiss, dragging my head down to meet hers.
"If it's food you want love, I can always cook. Or order in if you're too busy."
We break apart suddenly at the voice. For one brief second I'm slightly stunned before I realise who is speaking.
"Mum, you're back!" I shout excitedly, I can't help it. Breaking away from Emily I run over and pull her into a hug. Yeah I know it's not like me but I've changed recently remember? Besides, I really have missed her.
"Of course I am dear," she replied in that tone that only mothers have, "or I wouldn't be offering to sort out food for you both." She turned to a sheepish looking Emily, "Hello Emily dear, I take it you've been looking after my daughter whilst I've been away."
Ems is blushing and looking at her feet, I'm not sure if it's due to her being embarrassed at my mother's directness or at the fact that we've had the worst time ever whilst she was away. I lean over and drag Ems into the hug.
"Course she has mum, don't know what I'd do without her."
"That's nice dear," she replied, "she's forgiven you for being a twat then?"
I just stared at her, stared at Emily who shook her head slightly her eyes telling me she's got no idea either.
"Mothers know these things Naomi, mothers just know. Remember that. So Emily, have you forgiven her for being a twat then?"
"Of course I have Gina, that's all in the past and we've been equally twattish to be honest. We're completely happy together now. Can't you tell?"
"Well I wasn't sure if you were preparing to snog her, punch her or both when you first walked in Emily dear so I thought I'd check."
That's my mother, the one with the tact-bypass surgery; I think we're both blushing.
"So are you girls going to let me buy you dinner somewhere so we can catch up?"
"Well we were just going to order pizza mum, but whatever. Where's Kieran?"
"He's at his flat making sure it's all right dear, I said we'd go out for a family meal somewhere nice when he gets here, as long as you two want to join the old people."
"We'd love to Gina," Emily interrupts, "as long as you don't think we'll be in the way of you two lovebirds."
Mum blushed; fuck me, my mum actually fucking blushed. Go Ems!
"No Emily dear, besides we've got months of holiday talk to bore the two of you with and I'm in the mood for a slap up meal."
"Settled then," I decide, "can't wait to hear about India, we're heading there in a month or so. Goa."
"Really dear, what about University?"
"Deferred mum, I got jealous of your wandering so I decided to give into my hippy genes and go travelling. I don't enrol until next autumn."
She looks at us appraisingly, "what about your studies Emily?"
"I was always planning to go take a gap year Gina, so my Uni place is already sorted for next year."
'Really.' I thought 'Now that's the first I heard of that'. I look down at her my eyebrow raised.
"Christ Naoms, I told everyone in the pub where I was going, remember? When we were reading out our results. I've got a place studying English Language & Communication at Kings College."
"Kings College London; really?" I ask stunned. To be honest if I heard, I don't remember. I was totally out of it that day. After all if you can't get drunk celebrating grade A - 'A' Levels when can you? Plus I was an 'A' Grade student at getting pissed then as well.
"Yeah, I told everyone that, how wasted were you Naoms?"
I have no idea, there was an awful lot of lager on that table that day and I'm sure I'd drunk a fair bit of a hidden bottle of vodka and smoked a joint or two as well.
"Wasted enough not to realise we'd be neighbours Ems." I lift her from her feet in a hug and spun her round before kissing her soundly, "That's fucking marvellous news."
"Neighbours?" she's looking at me with her best puzzled face on, nose scrunched up in what I had always found to be an adorable manner.
"Neighbours Em, I got in at Goldsmiths, in fucking London." I can't help grinning.
She hit me, "Why the fuck didn't you tell me? I've been terrified that you were going to be miles away from me for the next three years. I thought you hadn't told me where you were going because it was far away from London. I thought you'd got in at Liverpool or Manchester or somewhere."
"Erm, I didn't tell you because you didn't ask and I didn't know where you were going, had no idea at all," I say flicking away her slappy hands. "Thought it could wait till next year you know? Why spoil what we have? Carpe Diem and all that."
"Fucks sake, I'm so mad at you now...no fuck it I'm not mad. Fucking hell Naomi why do you do this to me?"
"You're not happy then?" I ask, deflating a little.
"Of course I'm fucking happy you Muppet, I'm just annoyed I was worrying over nothing. It's fucking perfect." She wraps her arms about my neck and kisses me pushing me up against the wall again. I have to admit I'm more than a little relieved.
We're separated by a small 'hem' from mum. I'd already forgotten she was there.
"Well then looks like we have more things to celebrate then girls, time to get ready I think. Kieran's been going on about his favourite Lebanese restaurant ever since Thailand and it's supposed to be lovely. I think we should eat, drink and have a fucking good time the four of us, so look smart and dress nicely."
"No problems mum," I say looking down at Em, "I've got the perfect outfit."
***
Half an hour, one fight over who's first in the shower, (yeah you guessed it, she won, I always felt guilty about all the times she told me Katie stole all their hot water), and a lot of teasing later Ems and I are ready to face the world. I've not put on my LBD; I'm a bit paranoid that it would be slightly overdressing for just dinner, so we've both gone smart casual. OK I've gone smart casual, Ems has gone smart. I know this because she's spent the last five minutes telling me my jeans and linen shirt combo is scruffy. I'm not listening, it's smart and it's casual and good enough for me. As we head downstairs I can hear mum talking to Kieran.
"The girls are getting ready now love, so get the taxi to come by and pick us up. No we're not fucking walking to meet you. Pick us up you daft Irish clot or there'll be no potatoes in your future."
I can't hear the reply but she's laughing as we walk into the room. "See you in ten then dear, the girls are here so fuck off there's a love."
"I can see where you get that romantic nature from now Naoms," Ems says smiling at Gina.
"Oh yes, she's her mother's daughter indeed. Even to the extent of opening up our house like a 'fucking commune' I understand."
Shit! I'd forgotten about Katie and Effy. "Er, mum...I can explain..."
"It's my fault Gina," Emily interrupted, "Katie needed somewhere to stay and I thought whilst you were away..."
"Emily, I love you like a daughter, but please don't make up stories on my behalf. I am actually pretty proud of her for doing it so please, don't spoil it for me."
She turned slightly and looked me in the eye, "It was a good thing you did Naomi, opening up your home to a friend in need like that, that's the daughter I tried to raise." She looked back at Ems, "I guess I have you to thank for it dear."
"Mum." I can't help interrupting the sickly smiles between the two of them. "How the fuck do you know so much? How long have you been home?"
"Me? Only a few hours love, but I did meet a delightful young lady who I'm afraid to say I totally mistook for Emily here when I got home."
"You met Katie?"
"Oh yes, we had a lovely conversation, she filled me in on everything; how you two had a falling out, how you'd just got back together and were blissfully happy. Told me all about your family Emily dear, why she was here. That's terrible news by the way, just terrible. Wish I hadn't sold the old house, there'd have been enough room for all of us there."
Oh yeah, I can just imagine it. It would have been bad enough with Jenna Fitch under our roof, but Jenna Fitch and my mum in the same house...well let's just say I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have got on.
"Anyway, Katie told me about you inviting her to stay. She's a lovely girl you know Naomi, sad though, not the utterly psychotic bitch you made her out to be."
I blush as Emily looks at me, "Yeah well, she's grown on me. To be fair mum she did make my life hell for years at school, and out of school come to think of it. Plus she's going through a rough time at the moment so you're seeing a different side of her."
Pain lances through my side as Emily digs me with her elbow, fuck that's bony, it's like being knifed with a stiletto.
"What?" I exclaim indignantly.
"That's my sister Naoms."
"Yeah, and even you think she's a bitch most of the time."
"Well I think she's lovely, and I told her she's welcome to stay here as long as she likes. She's out with her friend Elizabeth at the moment; they said you two would want some space this evening and that they'd be staying at Elizabeth's tonight. In fact I feel a little guilty about dragging you away but I couldn't wait to see you any longer."
I'm a bit confused now, "But mum aren't you coming home? I thought you'd want your room back?"
"No dear, not just yet anyway. I'm going to stay with Kieran at his flat now his lodger has moved out, and then I'm going to Ireland for a few weeks to meet his family."
"Wow, that's a big step. When's the wedding?" I'm joking, then the realisation hits me, "You aren't getting married are you?"
Thankfully she shakes her head at me, laughing at my reaction. I mean I like Kieran, he's a good laugh and mum is actually happy with him - fuck knows she needs some happiness after years of putting up with me. But Kieran as my dad? Nope, definitely not ready for that yet.
"I think you should consider it Gina, Kieran's' a good catch and you are good together."
Shit. Shut the fuck up Ems, you don't know what you're saying!
"Well maybe one day Emily, but not just yet, we're having far too much fun for the shackles of marriage to be welded closed. Besides, as a feminist I have no interest in a ceremony that marks me as a part of her husband's property." She winked at her knowingly. Yeah right!
Thankfully I'm saved from this conversation by the horn of a taxi from outside; the man in question must have arrived.
***
Finally, I'm eating. Thank fuck for that!
The last fifteen minutes have been absolute hell as I've been sat at this table watching plates full of exotic food being served and the warm smells of spices waft past my starved nose. We've been chatting amiably about their holiday, but I'm slightly distracted by the food. Well I haven't eaten for two days!
I look at what's arrived and I'm positive that Kieran has ordered most of the menu. We're in a place called Sands, his favourite restaurant apparently; so we've trusted him to order what's good. It's actually quite a nice place, cosy; and it's still warm enough for us to be sat outside, tucked under a patio heater just in case it gets cold later.
I've got my mum on one side of me and Ems on the other and a large platter of hot mixed Mezza for four in front of me. There so much food on this table that even Emily is looking a little daunted.
"Kind of wish I'd not ordered dessert now." Never thought I'd hear Ems say anything like that.
"Nonsense girls," Kieran blurts out ripping apart his flatbread, "The desserts are stunning here, I'm sure you'll find room when they arrive. Besides it's all in the price." He gestured at the plates. "Well go on then, don't be standing on ceremony, get stuck in."
We don't need telling twice.
Talking, eating and drinking. It's nice, I'd normally run from this kind of event. However as I sit here, smiles all around I have one of those eureka moments again. This is the kind of family meal I'd dreamed of as a child, me my mum and a dad; with Emily next to me making it all complete. The only two people I'd ever loved sat either side of me and a man that makes my mum happy sat opposite. This is my family, all of them, the family I'd always wanted. I think it's the only one I'll ever want.
Emily leaned over to me putting her head next to mine, her hand resting gently on my thigh.
"You ok Naoms?" she asked quietly so the others couldn't hear
"I'm fine babe, why?"
"You've stopped eating and gone quiet."
"Have I? Hadn't noticed hun. Just thinking I guess. That's all." I placed my hand on hers and squeezed it gently.
"Happy thoughts I hope."
"Absolutely babe, I was just thinking how nice this is, how I'd always wanted to have meals like this you know? Family meals, happy family meals."
"So I'm part of the family now am I?" she asks softly kissing me on the cheek.
"Well duh."
I slip my arm around her and kiss her forehead. Mum and Kieran are locked in their own conversation, totally oblivious to us. I can feel myself relaxing; this is nice, really nice. Though part of me is thinking it's a bit weird to be going on a double date with my mum the other part of me is remembering it's a family meal, it just happens that the family consists of two couples in love.
Dessert arrives and we're as bad as each other. Mum is feeding Kieran, practically sat on his lap and I've insisted that Emily tries some of my Baklava as the plate that arrived would easily feed both of us. She's ordered the ice-cream; honestly sometimes she's just like a kid with things like that, she just loves ice-cream. Despite our misgivings Kieran was right, dessert is superb and I've got just a little room left for the sweet little pastries and apparently so has Em, who after demolishing her lavender ice cream is allowing me to pass her the small parcels.
I slip the sticky honey covered treat into her mouth and she licks and nibbles at my fingers as she takes it. Her eyes light up as she chews and she licks her lips. I know she's just tasting the honey there, but it's one of the most unconsciously erotic things I think I've ever seen. My mouths gone totally dry. Fucking Hell Ems, the things you do to me.
"Mmm, that's really good, really sweet."
"That'll be the honey Ems. If you're nice to me I'll get these as a doggy bag and we can take them home. I'll feed you them in bed, keep your strength up."
I wink at her and she just looks at me, not a sign of a blush on her cheeks.
"Sounds like a plan hun, shame you're going to have to wait to find out if your devious attempts at giving me a sugar rush have worked isn't it?" She's got her hand on the top of my thigh again and she's squeezing it gently.
"Are you alright there Naomi, you're looking a little flustered so you are."
"I'm absolutely fine Kieran," I reply composing myself, ignoring Emily's smirk. "I was just saying to Ems here that I think I'll take the rest of this dessert home. Lots of sugar, good for the late night energy levels."
Her fingers dig into my thigh painfully as she flushes.
"Is that so dear?" asks my mum, "Well Kieran, shout the waiter and order another two plates to go, one each. We might as well all make use of them, isn't that right Emily?"
My turn to blush now and I do believe Kieran is joining me.
We linger over our drinks, chatting about their trip, Mum and Kieran asking about our plans for the year ahead. It's nice; mum is getting very giggly on her second bottle of wine and is clinging to Kieran's arm. Ems is sat dangerously close to me and it's only the total lack of alcohol in my system that's helping me control myself.
She's looking particularly lovely tonight in my opinion, flats, dark blue knee length skirt and a pastel blue shirt that frankly looks about two sizes too small for her. I'm not complaining mind you it's touching her body in all the right places.
"Stop staring Naomi." She whispered forcefully at me from the corner of her mouth.
"What?" I blurt out suddenly dragged from my appreciation of Emily's figure.
"You're sat there staring at me, stop it."
"Sorry babe, I was just thinking about how lovely you're looking tonight, that's all."
"Really I could have sworn you were perving again."
"Nope, not this time hun, cross my heart, appreciating."
"Same thing you clot.", but she's smiling so I don't mind the insult.
"Sorry hun, just kinda happy tonight I guess."
"Good, glad you're happy Naoms, tell you what would make me happy." I raise my eyebrow as a question, "if you'd stop 'appreciating' me and give me a kiss."
"Can't I do both?"
"No!"
But I can you know, I really can. I can appreciate how lovely she is with my eyes closed; and I do just that as I lean in to kiss those perfect red lips, my hand running through those long red locks. After what feels like a glorious eternity we pull apart and I find myself being looked at appraisingly by my mother.
"Yes? Can I help you?"
"No dear, obviously not. I think young Emily here already has." I perform the patented 'pissed off Campbell' eyebrow raise. I'm not sure what she's getting at but I'm going to assume the worst.
"Public Displays of Affection dear. Last year you'd have clubbed Emily to death where she stood and run for the hills rather than kiss in public."
"Yeah well last year I was a twat. Actually this year I was a twat as well, but as of a week ago I'm not, well I'm trying not to be?
And if I can keep the alcohol under control for a bit that might just work as well.
"Besides," I continued pulling Emily closer to me, "why would I not want to kiss Ems? She is, after all, bloody gorgeous."
"Well you do make a nice couple, "Kieran says, his voice just slightly slurred. "We were hoping that you'd be still together when we got back. You make her happy Miss Fitch and that's always a good thing."
"Thanks Kieran, I was telling Gina earlier what a good couple you make. I believe you're off to Ireland to introduce her to your family."
"That's right, off to the seat of family MacFoeinaiugh, glorious sunny Ireland where the beer is good and the people are happy. Actually most of my family are total twats to be honest but they do want to meet the woman that got me to drop teaching and travel the world."
Mum picks up the bottle of wine on the table and pours it into our glasses, I stop her carefully when she reaches mine, putting my hand over the glass. I've had one tonight, I don't really want another. Ems is reading my mind again and picks up the pitcher of iced water and fills my empty wine glass. Mum's looking at me again a question on her lips. I catch her eye and shake my head minutely. There's a time and a place for that discussion and it's not here and now.
I pick up my wine glass and raise it.
"I'd like to propose a toast," they're looking at me like I've grown three heads or something, Jesus.
"I've come to appreciate quite a few things I'd either not known or had forgotten over the last few months and here tonight I've just realised something that's important to me. Around this table are the people I care most about in the entire world; me obviously because you can't be a self centred, selfish bitch without caring all about yourself."
That got a laugh
"Mum, because whether I've wanted you around or not, you've always been there for me and you helped me when I really needed some good advice. Mum I love you and I've missed you for longer than I knew."
"Emily because you complete me, you fill up the emptiness of my life in ways I can't describe. I love you, am totally, hopelessly in love with you. I always have been and always will be.
Kieran, well, because you're not a total twat and you do make my mum happy which is more than ok in my book."
More laughs, they're watching me carefully, I'm thinking this is not bad for a beginner.
"I realised tonight that one of the most important things you can have or lose is family and that's what I've found around this table tonight. You are all a part of my family and I love you all. So I offer this. To family."
"Family" they say as glasses are chinked and then drunk.
"Nice speech," Ems whispered to me as I drank my water.
***
A happy couple of hours later and it's very late. The taxi we've flagged down pulls up outside our home and Ems and I get out and say our goodbyes. As it pulls away mum waving frantically out of the back window, I'm filled with a sad regret. It seems like I'm only capable of discovering how much I love someone when I lose them. I realised tonight how much I missed my mum over the last few months. How her strange hippy ways were actually a comfort and how much I enjoyed talking to her on the few occasions that she'd managed to phone.
Emily pulled at my hand, "C'mon you stop thinking and take me home."
I snap out of my reverie, "Babe we are home see? Home is just over there."
"I know that Naoms," she said with a hint of exasperation in her voice, "take me to bed ok?"
"Sounds like a plan hun, it's been a long day and I'm tired"
"Yeah, it's been eventful," she's smiling at me knowingly as she drags me up the path and through the door.
"Yeah, eventful."
I flopped down onto the sofa kicking my shoes across the living room and stretching out my toes sighing loudly.
"This is the point where you're supposed to tell me you love me, remember?" Ems said stamping her foot at me.
"Sorry babe?"
"Eventful…remember?"
My tired mind finally engages to the conversation and my memory flashes back. Of course I remember, we've used the same phrases repeatedly over our time together and this is a favourite. I hold out my arms to the pouting redhead and she flops into my lap snuggling her head into the crook of my neck.
"Sorry babe, my mind's a bit tired tonight. Like you say it's been eventful…and I do love you."
"She smiled and replied in kind, "I know..." She leaned up and kissed me again, Time for bed Naoms ".
Life is good, and so am.
***
4:45AM
So I'm lying here, curled up with the love of my life and I'm wide awake again. I've slept for a few hours, but something outside disturbed me and I can't get back to sleep again.
I've spent the last few minutes reflecting on the day; Ems' is back, mum's back and I'm almost back. Part of me is now dreading the morning and the return of reality, I'd kind of like this little bubble not to burst.
Sighing slightly I curl deeper into the embrace I'm wrapped in, running my fingers over Ems' hair as it drapes over the pillows.
"Naoms, are you ok?" she asks her voice bleary and sleep filled.
"I'm fine love, go back to sleep, sorry I woke you." I whisper back, continuing to stroke her.
I'm not actually sure she was ever awake, her eyes are closed and her breathing still regular. I look at her sleeping face, god I love her, and I know this one fact. As long as she's with me, as long as she lets me love her, I'll face down my dragons each and every day, I'll fight that little voice that's still telling me that she'll ruin my life. As long as she loves me everything will be ok, we'll be ok. I know it and I am 'all-seeing'.
Life is good, and so am I. Well not totally but I'm getting better.
.
.
.
A/N – Cue the music….Cause this is Filler! Filler Night. (sorry, sorry I know...)
So there you go, I thought that it might be nice to have a happy episode to lighten the mood a little, it's been a bit hectic for the last few chapters. Couldn't resist getting a scooter scene in here somewhere, the shots in Emily's episode were just hilarious – BTW did anyone else see that both scooters, (the working one and the prop one) were on e-bay the other week? That was 4K I could happily have blown if I had it, (Mrs Es always wanted a scooter!).
The promised Katie Chapter is coming – need to write it now, bloody work getting in the way of this story...anyone got the winning lottery numbers handy?
