"For some people, "the point of no return" begins at the very moment their souls become aware of each others' existence."
― C. JoyBell C.
XXXX
"Well, look who's here. Lori get your bags, Shane is fucking here for you." I looked back to Shane, "You two started back to fucking?"
"Rick," Shane began, avoiding all eye contact. "I am here for Judith. I ain't getting anywhere with Lori about seeing my daughter and..."
The fact that he didn't deny that they were back to fucking had me riled and Shane knew exactly how to relay an undercover message. We were friends since childhood. I knew him very well but obviously not well enough if he was going to mess around with my wife behind my back and destroy my marriage. I could almost understand if he was in love with Lori but I knew and half the town knew that Shane messed around with anyone with two legs and a pussy. I had no idea why or how Lori could fall for Shane's shit unless she thought she was different somehow...
"Shane they are a package fucking deal. Lori, don't just stand there pack your shit up and go."
"Rick, we need to talk." Lori began her inability to concoct a lie and I had no time for delays. I was fed up even more than I thought I could be with Lori. This was going to escalate and I knew this time I would be the one behind bars if those two did not get the fuck on. I didn't care if they left together as one big family, they just had to get the fuck a way from me.
"No we don't have shit to discuss, Lori." I said through clenched teeth.
"I am not here to take your wife. I am not here for that. I need to know how we can move forward..." Shane stepped forward up another step.
"The moment you stuck your dick in Lori put us at a permanent stand still. The moment you did that she became yours!"
Things got heated real quick between Shane and me. He knew exactly how to fucking push my buttons and I was going to fucking clock him when Spencer pulled up in the cruiser with lights flashing.
"I can't help it you didn't know how to fuck your wife to keep her home. It's not my fault that any man that paid her any attention could have got her in bed at the time, man. ANY one. Call her beautiful and Lori was fucking ready. Easiest shit in any playbook."
I told Michonne all that was said and all that had happened earlier that day and she listened.
"I am so sorry, Rick."
"I'm a big joke right?"
"I'm not laughing."
"I don't feel bad you know about putting Lori out with Judith."
"You shouldn't."
"I told Lori to get the hell out and she packed her bags and left with Judith over to her parents."
"It was either going to be you or her...I have no idea why it would be you to leave your own house over a bed you didn't make."
I couldn't even look at Michonne. I had so many emotions that I needed to sort through and I had to start with taking care of Carl who chose to stay home with me. I had to get my and his life in order and I had no idea where to begin.
"Don't let Shane do that. Don't let him in your head space Rick. I know that is what you are doing. Doubting everything that you and Lori shared. At one point it was genuine I am sure. At one point you both were on the same page, reading and enjoying the same story. It is not your fault she picked up another book while you weren't looking. It doesn't mean she didn't enjoy what you shared but she was a fool to not let you know she didn't want to continue to read with you."
I was dumbfounded by Michonne that I met her eyes. The most sincerest eyes I have ever known to peer into. Eyes that welcomed me and saw me at my lowest, and had the ability to make me feel like I was at my greatest with room to grow. Those very same beautiful almond shape eyes would still seek me out like she was doing now, because she had me confused, "What the hell are you saying?" I asked slightly amused.
"I thought I'd get your attention. I need you to look at me when I am talking to you. You know I don't like when you find the rock beneath your feet more interesting than me."
We were standing there, next to my pickup that was parked at Daryl's automotive. I didn't take my eyes from her eyes until I could tell she was smiling and I quickly glanced from her lips back to her eyes. She was so beautiful in the way she understood me with out saying another word. She accepted me and all the drama that was attached to me. She didn't care that sometimes I could be needy, stubborn, ornery,shy, or ashamed. I didn't realize I reached for hand and it was in mine as we stood there having a moment. I had an urge to kiss her. A very strong urge.
"What are you doing later tonight?" Michonne asked me.
"Do you want to text again about what you want for Christmas?"
"You are so silly. I was asking because I have some left-overs and with Lori gone you and Carl will need to eat at least one good meal. Text me when you are in the parking lot at my apartment and I will bring it out to you. I have to get back to work."
I wanted to kiss her. I had a very strong urge to pull her to me but Daryl came out asking for Michonne to help with the customers that were ready to pay.
XXXXXXX
My parents were not happy to see me on their doorstep. Me and Judith. They didn't know that Judith wasn't Rick's. They didn't know we were having marital problems. They didn't know that it was just that bad where I would be divorced and it was my fault. I wanted to be the one to tell them. I had to tell them everything because my Dad was determined to call Rick to see if he could get to the bottom of it.
"Rick should be ashamed putting his wife and daughter out on the street like she's yesterday trash."
I had to tell them because if they called Rick, he surely would tell them everything. I would rather them hear it from me.
"No, daddy. Rick is divorcing me because I had an affair and Judith is not his daughter."
"What?" My parents asked in unison.
I watched the look of surprise on both their faces as the words began to register and the disappointment surfaced.
XXXXXX
"This food is good, Dad."
"Sure is."
"Where you get it? Do you think we can get more?"
I was at a lost for words. I began to wonder, what to call Michonne. I mean she was my friend but I didn't know if I should delegate her in that role when she was apparently more than that to me. Carl was at an age where sometimes too much information wasn't good and not enough information wasn't good.
"She is a lady friend. I'm quite sure something could be arranged twice a week maybe if we could be so lucky."
"Yeah?" I watched Carl tear into his barbeque chicken and rice with peas.
I began to test the waters with him to see where his young mind was with the idea of change happening in our home that we shared just the two of us.
"It would be a dream come true if we could get a meal like this everyday."
Carl nodded in agreement.
"I hope that happens may be in the future..."
I stopped eating and watched Carl's unchanging expression as he continued to chow down.
"I just think if we were so lucky to have meals like this everyday it would probably include a nice breakfast and a decent lunch." I waited to see if he was going to connect any of the dots.
"What do you think we would have to do to get this everyday?" Carl asked after he took a gulp of his iced tea.
"Well...I guess I would have to ask my lady friend but, it won't be right to ask since I am still married to your mom."
"What does Mom have to do with anything? She doesn't even know how to cook?"
"It won't look right. The everyday thing. So for right now we got to take what is being offered to us until things are different."
"I don't think Mom cares. She didn't care when she was here why would we care what she thinks about us eating?"
"My lady friend is very important to me and I don't want her to feel like she is the cook for the Grimes men that live here. I want her to feel a certain way about it because I would like for her to be more than that."
"Are we talking about a girlfriend?"
"I am talking about that, yes."
"She has kids?"
"She has a son."
"Cool."
"Cool?"
"How old is he?"
"Eight. "
"Is his name, Andre?"
"Yes." I was stunned.
"He's been moved up to my grade 6 months ago. He says he knows you. He says you are at his apartment all the time. He told me you eat there and watch television with his mom."
"When would he tell you these things?"
"At lunch. He shares his lunch with me. I would throw moms sandwiches away when he shared. He started bringing enough for me. This taste like what he would bring to school. His mom made brownies and they were amazing. She made enough for the whole class. He's popular because he's smart. He says he got his weird brain from his mom. She's super smart too. He says she memorizes things but she doesn't tell people because they treat her differently when they know. He says, his IQ is almost higher than hers though. He doesn't know how much longer he will be in my grade before they move him again."
I was speechless. Michonne has been feeding Carl too.
