Wooooow~ 60 reviews~ I feel that this momentous...moment...deserves an update! Hooray! :D Plus it's been a couple months so I figured it was high time I got a new chapter up *sheepish smile*

I feel like people are a little OOC in this one, but that's prolly cause I haven't watched south park recently. Well, I did, but it was one of those episodes where the main guys aren't really in it. It was the one starring butters. You know, where his dad's gay and him mom tries to kill him..oh hey look! I just revealed spoilers for those who haven't seen it! Well, to bad cause that one's been out for years. It's your own fault for not watching.

Well, I'm done bitching so let's get on with the story, huh?

-PD


Chapter 9 – Pick Your Fate From My Hat

Kyle eventually said goodbye to his cousin and completely relaxed on his bed. I had thought for a moment that he'd fallen asleep and went to go wake him.

"Kyle?"

"Hmmg?" He rolled over onto his back, but kept his eyes closed.

My heart tripped a little when I looked at his face. Even his eyelashes were that brilliant shade of red "Can you help me with my, uh...this...my Chem?" No response. "Homework?" I added, trying to rouse him from whatever fog he was in.

He snorted a laugh and heaved himself up off his bed. "Sure thing, dude."

'Sure thing, dude.' I don't think my heart had ever beaten so fast over such an unromantic phrase before Kyle had spoken that one 'Sure thing, dude.' I had it bad. I had it really bad for Kyle Brofel...Brov...well, I supposed I'd learn his name as time went on. But my point was that I've only known him for a little over 24 hours; talk about love at first sight. God I felt pathetic; getting excited over something as boring and commonplace as 'Sure thing, dude' but I couldn't even pronounce the kid's name.

"You weren't listening were you?"

I looked up into his exasperated face and he sighed. Shit, I did it again. I'd spaced while he was trying to help me.

"Let's just...take it from the top. One more time."

We somehow made it through my homework and had just put in 'Asses of Fire 2' and were gonna watch it on my TV from Kyle's bed when Tweek walked in, looking strangely serene.

Kyle paused the DVD, to my disappointment—we'd finally made it past the opening credits—and began to question his cousin. "Tweek! Where have you been? How'd you get home? Did you do your homework? Do you need me to help you with it?"

And with that, the twitching commenced. "Ngh, I was at this guy...this guy Token's house with Craig, Clyde and th-this other kid. W-We did our homework though, so you -gah- don't have to -nnh- worry about me, -nff- K?" He gave a smile and Kyle's mother hen nature receded and was replaced by brotherly affection, though I couldn't help but find it a little odd that it'd been all guys except for Tweek...well, he was still a guy, but in their eyes...well whatever, I'll worry about that later.

"C'mon, come sit with us. We're gonna watch T 'n' P." Kyle patted the bed next to him.

"J-Just let me get out of these -ngh- clothes. This buh-bra is itchy as hell."

I turned away for modesty's sake and let him change. He flopped onto the bed next to Kyle, who was now in the middle. "Alright," I said, "let's get this party started."

o()o()o

I'm not totally sure when we all fell asleep, but I know we didn't make it through the whole movie. The movie had ended and was stuck on the menu screen, the faint sounds of 'Uncle Fucker' playing in the background. I also noticed that I hadn't managed to migrate over to my own bed that night. I'd fallen asleep horizontally on Kyle's twin mattress. My legs were mostly on the floor and my feet were freezing. I tried to move, but I was pinned. Kyle had his head comfortable cradled in the small of my back and Tweek had his leg's thrown over the upper half of my back, which I guess is what had been keeping my torso warm. But in hindsight, I wasn't going anywhere. Kyle murmured something in his sleep and my attention was drawn back to him. It was just sleepy gibberish, but it was still cute. Craning my neck at odd angles, I could see over Tweek's legs that he was drooling on my back a bit, but at that point I didn't really care.

"San...em fum mum..." He mumbled.

Tweek had started twitching in his sleep, which I found oddly soothing, and would gasp from time to time, which made it a little less soothing and a little more worrisome. I was too tired to actually feel worried though.

'...Huh...' I looked at the clock – 2:16. Looking back at the Terrance and Phillip title screen one last time, I fell asleep again, and didn't wake until my mom knocked on the door at 6:45.

"Stan!" She called for what was probably the tenth time or so. I cracked my eyes open. "Stanley, you're going to be late for school! It's time to get up, now. You're already too late for the bus!"

I grumbled; my half asleep mind tricking me into thinking I'd formed a complete sentence.

"Hurry up! School starts in about an hour!"

The warning was like a bucket of cold water. I sprang out from under Kyle, startling both him and his cousin awake; I also startled my sore muscles awake and into a violent spasm. "Ah! Shit..."

The other two awoke, Kyle did so a little more calmly than Tweek, but they were both quite panicked. "Dude," Kyle exclaimed, "don't we have to be at school in an hour?"

"Yeah." I'd quickly shed my clothes from yesterday, as I'd fallen asleep in them, and quickly threw on whatever was in the 'clean' pile on my floor.

The other two went to the still unpacked shopping bags and pulled out their clothes for the day as well. We tripped over one another, constantly had to dig through each other's messes to find our own shit, I couldn't find my chemistry homework. It was a hectic morning to say the least.

But somehow we managed to make it to school only an hour late. I don't know quite how we managed that as we'd only woken up about a half hour late, but when we got to the classroom, there was a cast list up on the chalkboard, ready and waiting to be paired up with students' names.

"Oh goodie," Mr. Garrison greeted in is typical, uninterested monotone, "you three are finally here." As we took our seats, I caught Kenny's 'where the hell have you been' look out of the corner of my eye and shrugged. "Just to get you little ditchers up to speed," My Garrison continued, "we're picking parts for the end of the term play, " The class groaned for what was probably not the first time that morning. "And we're going to do it with a drawing. You see this, kids?" He picked up a hat off the desk. "Since you're all equally untalented, I think a simple draw from the hat should suffice." Garrison walked menacingly up and down our rows of desks. He forbade us from opening our little slips of paper until everyone had received one.

"Alright, you can go ahead and open your slips."

I looked around the class and saw that everyone either exploded in excitement or deflated with disappointment. After unfolding my card, I wasn't sure whether I should have felt relieved or sorely disappointed at what was written on that little slip of paper. I turned to Kenny, who was on my left, "Hey, Ken, what'd you get?"

"Mercutio. I can't believe I—" The bell that signaled the end of class rang, but everyone was too excited to share their misfortune with others that they didn't really care. Kenny continued, "That I didn't get Romeo; he's the only one that gets laid." I snorted. "What about you?"

'Nope, not telling.' I thought and opted for just kinda staring downward in a sulky manor.

"Ah, screw you. Hey, Cartman—"

'Clearly, he didn't care.' I sighed and laid my head on my desk. My nose was squashed down against the top so I couldn't really breathe, but I was kinda hoping someone would ask me what was the matter, so I didn't move.

"Hey, Stan." I rolled my head over to look at Kyle, who was crouched down so he could be eye to eye with me. God his eyes were gorgeous. "What part did you get for the play?"

"...You tell me yours first." Yes, I'm a pussy, we've discussed this, moving on.

"Ironically, the hat couldn't see through my disguise and made me Juliet." He sighed before standing up so I was staring at one of the holes in his tattered jeans. He was also wearing a lace edged tank with a shrug sweater. "So, now that you've assessed my outfit..." I blushed, but I kept my expression emotionless and closed my eyes, rolling my head back to wear it was. "What part did you get?"

I showed him my slip.

"Oh. Well, that's not...so bad. It's an important role..." He offered hesitantly.

"Bulh phiht."

"What?"

I lifted my head. "Bull shit."

"Congratulations, Kyle."

"Yeah, congrats. Kyle.

'Oh gods, not these two.'

"Oh, thanks...I'm sorry what were your names again?"

"My name's Wendy, and this is my friend Bebe."

"Hey, welcome to our school. Sorry about not formally welcoming you and your cousin."

I tilted my head, trying to be inconspicuous about listening in on their conversation, but the mention of Tweek's name made me wonder what part he'd gotten.

"That's ok," Kyle continued, "yesterday was...kinda hectic."

There was an awkward silence and I was sure I wasn't helping the atmosphere, if the cursory glances each one of them gave me in turn were anything to go by.

"So," Wendy began, trying to break the silence, "what part did you get?"

Kyle looked a bit uncomfortable, but he answered anyway.

"Oh really! No way! Bebe is Romeo! It's kinda weird that we're gonna have two girls as the stars this year. And that the roles weren't separated by gender so girls wouldn't get stuck with boy's parts and vice versa." She said, more to Bebe than to the rest of us, granted I wasn't really even part of the conversation, but that's just a minor detail that I can, and have, chosen to ignore. "Maybe we could have a sleepover this Friday and kinda go over our parts. I mean, the play is a lot sooner that it seems, so we should get down to work right away. I'm Juliet's mother, so I don't have too many lines, but—"

I kinda tuned out the rest of Wendy's talk. Actually, I'd kinda stopped listening at 'sleepover.' There was no way I was gonna let Kyle go on a sleepover with my ex-girlfriend. Girls had this weird thing where they'd, like, get naked down to their panties—I hate saying that word—when the room got too hot, or how they'd compare boob sizes by groping each other. Or at least that's what I'd heard. Where was I going with this? I'm not quite sure, but all I remember was that I didn't want Kyle to go, and that I didn't have a solid argument against his doing so, so either way my thoughts weren't getting me any closer to a solution.

"Umm. I'll check...but I don't know..." An uneasy answer that I couldn't help but internally grin at. She wasn't pulling my new friends into her trap!

"Well, do you think you could just hang out after school today? Just for a little while, like a couple hours or so. And maybe we could even do homework together too?" Bebe offered.

Kyle gave me a quick glance, but for some odd reason that I could never fathom, he agreed.

"Great! We'll meet after school outside the main doors. Talk to you later."

"Bye Kyle." And with that, the two of them headed off to go do god knows what.

"You know, Stan. They don't seem all that bad. I don't get why you hate them so much."

"Yeah...well..."

"C'mon fags, let's go to lunch. What sort of losers hang out in the classroom during break." Cartman cut in at an incredibly convenient time. We were one of the last groups to leave; Craig and his bunch were all looking at Tweek, and I could practically feel Kyle's nervous energy radiate off of him.

"He'll be fine. They're not gonna kill him." I assured. Kyle managed to ease up a bit and followed me out the door. But I can see whe he'd feel uneasy: four guys, all of them bigger than Tweek, were staring him down. I'd managed to pick up on the fact that he'd been the last one to open his paper, and they were all eager to see what role he'd been cast as. But I didn't get to hear because I was dragged out the door and towards the cafeteria.

o()o()o

I was eating my underdone, slightly cold potato wedges when I saw Craig drag Tweek, a very embarrassed Tweek I might add, by the arm towards the other end of our table. "C'mon hun, there's seats over here."

'Hun!'

"Ngh, Craig! D-Don't call me that! Not -agh- in public!" He blushed furiously.

'What the hell?' I quirked a figurative eyebrow at the situation.

"Why not? We're together now, aren't we?"

I was floored.

Completely.

The rest of our table was stunned as well, and Kenny just kinda seemed to sink into the floor. It seemed like Cartman was the only one who could get his mouth working in time for a retort to still be appropriately timed without being awkwardly delayed, a time slot the rest of us missed.

"Craig, what the hell are you doing?"

Craig took his seat and pulled Tweek down next to him, Token, Jason, and Clyde all joining within seconds. "What do you mean?" Craig took Tweek's arm and placed it around his own shoulders.

"Why are you acting like a fag with Kyle's cousin?"

I was actually surprised Kyle hadn't said anything yet, but judging by his face, he was bound to say something later.

"Tweek's my husband, and I'm his wife." Craig flipped us off and I was just waiting for Kyle to crawl over the table and beat the shit out of Craig. But the boy had a good sense of self-restraint.

I looked between the other guys in Craig's group who really didn't seem to take any notice of Craig's behavior. How long had this been going on?

"Woah, woah, woah, you're saying you guys got together overnight or something?"

Craig sighed and looked at me as if I was a moron. I don't even know why I'd said that. "While we did have fun last night," Kenny bristled, "I was just joking around when I said we were 'together'. We're both playing the Montagues, so chill out asshole." Craig pulled out of Tweek's embrace and went right on ahead to sipping his soda.

We were all at least a little bit startled when Kenny suddenly pounded the table hard enough to rattle all out trays and ran off, running smack dab into poor Butters, who always seemed to get in the way at the most inconvenient of times.

"H-Hey Ken! Wha—"

"Not now, Butters." He dismissed before running off again. I couldn't help but notice that he'd ended the sentence with Butters' name, as we seem to have a habit of doing. Butters looked at his ruined food before running off after Kenny, calling his name.

"Kenny's a friggen idiot." Craig remarked.

Now it was my turn to get mad. "Shut up, Craig! You don't have to walk around acting all—"

"He is an idiot. He's got a person right there ready to do all kinds of shit for him and he's constantly focused on someone else. C'mon guys, I'm losing my appetite just being near these assholes."

The group got up to leave, and Tweek looked a little torn. Kyle ushered him off and that was the last we saw of them till class.

o()o()o

School ended and we all left the building without any issues like there were yesterday. Tweek was coming home with me today, but Cartman and Kyle were both off doing something else, and none of us had seen hide nor hair of Kenny or Butters since the incident in the cafeteria. So the two of us had hopped on the bus and were talking amicably when Tweek's phone rang.

He looked at the screen and an awkward smile broke out on his face. "It's Craig...should I answer?"

I shrugged. "If you do, put him on speaker."

Tweek smiled again and flipped the phone open, holding it between us so I could hear clearly. "H-Hello?"

There was rustling before Craig's voice became audible. "Hey Tweek."

"Hey Craig."

"Yeah, Tweek, listen, uhh...I know I have to work and everything, but I was..."

Craig was silent for a while, and I could read the unease on Tweek's face. "C-Craig! Ngh, you there!"

"Yeah."

We waited for him to continue, but he didn't.

"Craig?"

"Yeah, sorry, uhm...I was...would..." I could practically hear him shifting with nervousness over the phone. Craig was an obnoxiously cute asshole when he was trying to pick someone up. "...Meet me at Harbucks? At 5?"

"Yeah!" Tweek eagerly agreed.

I don't think he even gave the question time to register what was being asked of him. But I noticed that Craig had regained his cocky attitude at the sound of Tweek's eager, positive response when I heard him say, "Wear something cute." And with that, he hung up.

Tweek blushed furiously, a very nice look on him, and mumbled an 'ok' into the receiver.

"Oh my gosh!" Came the girlish squeal form the seat behind me and Tweek. I wish I'd seen that ambush coming. "We don't mean to intrude, but did you just get a date with Craig Tucker?"

"Wow, you're so lucky."

It was Red and Millie; two girls I'd never really talked to even though I'd known them forever, but they seemed friendly enough.

"Uhm..y-yeah."

"Hey, would you like to chill with us? I mean, I know we don't know you very well yet, but we could help you out with your date and stuff." Red offered. The two of us probably bore the same look of confused surprise.

"AGH! Uhm, oh god, uhm, sure. I guess..."

"Great! I know the sudden invitation is kinda weird, but we can help you get ready and stuff, it'll be fun!" The bus squeaked to a halt. "Oh, this is our stop. Come on Tweek!" Tweek hastily gathered his stuff and I was left alone on the bus. I shoved my hands my jeans pocket and I could feel that blasted slip of paper with my role clearly printed on it. I pulled it out, god knows why, I already knew what was written on the damn thing. Maybe my subconscious thought that if I left it alone for long enough it could magically change.

'Why couldn't I,' I thought to myself despairingly, the emo in me emerging, 'have been Kyle's Romeo.'


Author's Note

Well, I pretty much wrote from "since you're all equally untalented" all the way through to the end all today. I'd say that that's not too bad. I prolly could've done better, but whatever. I hope ya'll enjoyed it. I'll keep the cast list posted so you don't get too confused

Kyle – Juliet

Bebe – Romeo

Wendy – Lady Capulet

Tweek – Montague

Craig – Lady Montague

Kenny – Mercutio

And that's all we know for now :3

Much Love!

-PD