Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations all characters find themselves in. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think.

Reasons To Sigh Out Loud

Doing his best to ignore just how uncomfortable the chair he sat on was Harry turned his attention to accessing the picture Eggsy had apparently sent his phone. For some reason it wasn't loading properly and Harry was about ready to give up and ask someone for help with the blasted thing. Though it would probably be an incredibly easy thing to fix and he'd get the sideways 'how clueless is he' looks he often got from the younger generations when it came to his tech questions. He couldn't help it though. Technology communicated with each other, no one could convince him that they didn't, and so they knew he murdered their kind on a regular basis. Not on purpose of course, but there was just something about him that made machines roll over dead whenever they came into his possession. It was a documented phenomenon. Or at least a look at his credit card bills would confirm it. Ugh. If not for all the many, many drawbacks of previous centuries Harry would have wished he'd been born in a time before technology made the world go around and everyone was dependant on it.

Another text message popped up on his screen from Eggsy, Harry less than amused to see that the boy had intuited that his lack of response meant he couldn't access the picture. Ergo he'd sent him instructions on how to make sure his phone's settings were set to let him access the picture.

Sighing Harry did as suggested and found out that yes, his phone setting was the problem.

Fixing it, Harry soon found himself also looking at a picture of Eggsy showing off his palms to him. The wounds from the splinters were hardly visible, the faint lines only really obvious because Harry knew where to look.

'They look much better.' Harry typed out and texted to Eggsy.

'Told ya so.'

Rolling his eyes and opting not to argue since he was trying to prove to Eggsy and Merlin that he wasn't a complete mother hen where Eggsy was concerned Harry asked how filming was going at the studio. Today was his scheduled voice over work for Colin's letter and he hadn't seen Eggsy in person since their lunch after the tree incident.

'All right. Should finish on time.'

'Excellent.'

'Ready for your emotional reading of my letter?' Eggsy's next text asked, the emoji with it crying huge tears. Actually crying, as apparently emojis could do that now.

Blinking in surprise at the connotations of that once it sunk in, Harry texted back the question of whether or not Eggsy had actually cried after reading the letter. Because if he had…well shit.

The original letter the writers had composed had been all wrong for Colin and he'd told them so. Had been prepared to dig in his heels about it too, which he'd made quite clear to them. Colin was most certainly not the most manly or alpha of men, but he was not about to let them suggest that Colin would have ever written such a thing. He'd received fan letters from young teenage girls that had demonstrated more maturity and emotional depth than that first draft he'd been given. Just the thought of speaking the words had been nauseating beyond his grasp of the English language to describe.

Thankfully the writers had not only listened, but one had even suggested letting him write what he thought Colin would have said to Taron in the letter. To give them something to work with, she said, since the majority of them were all still struggling to catch up and watch his former episodes in order to write for his character. Ergo all input from him would be appreciated.

So he'd written his own version of the letter, struggling like mad to get it right, and in the end the writers had voted amongst themselves to just use his letter as written without any interference from them. Which meant that if Eggsy had cried over the letter than Harry had made him cry and that…

'Of course I cried, you idiot. It was fucking amazing what you wrote. I'd have had to be made of fucking stone not ta cry. Though I didn't in the scene. Figured he'd have read it a lot over the years.'

Staring at the message Harry didn't think, he just reacted. 'How did you know I wrote it?'

'They told me. Though I'd have wondered, anyway. It's fucking perfect for them, Harry.'

Aware he was probably more than a little red in the cheeks at the moment Harry typed out a simple thank you and sent it.

'Welcome. Though seriously…you can write that but you ain't never been in love before?'

He and Eggsy had been friends for years. He was the best friend Harry had ever had. They didn't keep secrets from each other. Of course they'd talked about each other 's love lives. He knew the people who had and continued to mean the most to Eggsy. Eggsy knew the same about him. And Harry had always stated that he'd never been in love with someone. Which was the truth…unless one was splitting grey hairs he preferred to pretend weren't there.

'I've played being in love many times.' Was the response he sent back.

'True that, Mr. Darcy.'

That role was going to haunt him for the rest of his bloody life, Harry mentally cursed.

"Mr. Hart? We're ready for you now."

Saved by the assistant to an assistant, Harry thought as he thanked her, promising to just be a moment as he sent Eggsy a quick text stating that work called and he'd talk to him later.

Putting his phone on silent, or at least he was ninety percent sure he had, Harry shoved it into his pocket and then rose from the chair to follow the assistant out of the waiting room.

Time to earn his salary.

The soundstage was set up and ready to go. There was even a bottle of water waiting for him when he walked over to take his spot in front of the microphone. Since this was just a straightforward reading and nothing else there was no need for headphones, and the stand already contained the single sheet of paper with 'his' letter.

Unscrewing the top off the water bottle Harry took a few sips while he got himself settled, setting it aside when the door opened and in came a tech person who'd been sent to give him the rundown of what to do and the signals they'd give from the booth.

Simple enough, and Harry nodded at the end of the practiced speech.

Watching the man leave the room Harry rolled his shoulders, closed his eyes, and reminded himself that he wasn't channelling the newer version Colin that he was now playing. He was slipping back into the skin of the old Colin. Slight changes, because they were seriously fucking around with who that Colin had been and the mindset he'd had last, but still Colin. Harry knew him. Knew Colin better than anyone else. Knew how he thought and felt and saw the world. How he saw himself.

And if he was honest with himself Harry had to acknowledge the fact that back then some of what the fans and writers would use as proof that they weren't just pulling the Taron and Colin storyline out their arses came from his relationship with Eggsy. Even back then there'd been a connection. A bond. And it had showed no matter how hard he'd tried to conceal or at least control it on his end.

Opening his eyes Harry looked to the booth and waited for the signal, then turned his attention to the microphone.

"Taron,

Writing this letter is one of the hardest things I've ever done. And the noblest, I suppose, which is as sad a reflection on me as it is cowardly. You deserve to hear this to your face, Taron. I know that. But I also know myself well enough to know that that wouldn't happen if I tried. I wouldn't say what needed to be said. What you deserve to know. So I'm writing you this letter and hope that eventually you'll forgive me for not only taking the coward's way out, but for what I'm about to say.

I lied to you, to everyone about why I'm leaving. I believe that is for the best. I want you to know the truth though, because you must feel like I'm abandoning you and I can't bear the thought of my name being added to the list of people who've let you down. Who made you believe that you mattered only to prove themselves unworthy of your love and loyalty. I can't be the teacher and mentor you deserve, but I can, at least, tell you how special you are. How important you are to me. And how I wish I was deserving of the kindness and friendship you've shown me.

I love you, Taron. Love you far more than I should. Everything I've told you, everything I've said about the future I see for you and what I think you'll achieve is true. I stand in awe of your bravery, compassion, and your fearlessness when it comes to being who you are. Don't ever let anyone take those qualities from you.

Don't ever stop writing either, Taron. It's what you were meant to do. I want to spend the next decades of my life reading your books. I can't wait to see how you'll evolve as a writer and as a man, even if it's from a distance. A distance I have to put into place because I can't trust myself when it comes to you. Can't trust that I won't use the relationship we have and twist it into something else. Something that would only hurt the both of us in the end. You deserve better than that. You deserve better than me.

So to save us both I'm going to leave and, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to keep in contact with you. At least not for a while. Hopefully sometime in the future I'll be able to trust myself enough to contact you and tell you what I think of your works or about something I read about you. I hope that more than I can say. But for now…what's most important and what I wish for you to take from this letter is this.

You're amazing. And I'll always believe in you.

Always,

Colin."

Letting out a deep, cleansing breath once he was finished, Harry ignored the first hints of a brewing headache and looked at the booth, asking how that had sounded.

)

Emotionally drained and with a nice headache to boot Harry unlocked his front door and stepped inside with a sigh of relief. Home. Thank God. He needed something for his headache and then a nap ASAP. A long nap followed by takeaway from his favorite restaurant, Harry mentally tacked on. And God willing that would hopefully put him into a food coma that would result in an early night for him so that there'd be even more sleep in his future. Morning would come soon enough.

In the back of his mind Harry knew that tomorrow was going to be even worse than today but those were thoughts for tomorrow. Or after his nap once the drugs had worked their way through his system and he could have alcohol with his meal. Potentially more alcohol than was wise.

Heading upstairs after removing his coat and shoes Harry made a beeline for the loo and the medicine cabinet. And once done there he headed for the bedroom, going immediately over to his window to pull down the shades as he did not want the afternoon sun shining in and keeping him up. Then he turned his attention to the clothes he needed to shed before he could burrow under his covers and sleep the rest of the afternoon away.

Starting from the top down Harry was naked from the waist up when he pulled his phone from his pocket. He'd forgotten to check it since he'd gone in to do his voiceover, dammit.

Clicking on the screen Harry saw that he had two missed text messages. One was from Eggsy and another from Merlin.

Accessing Eggsy's message first Harry saw that it was simply a quick message wishing him luck with his recording session. It had come in shortly after his last message, and given the time that had passed Harry debated responding. Eggsy would be busy the rest of the afternoon anyway. But so as not to be rude Harry sent off a message stating that he was home again and that the recording had gone well. He'd been pleased with the finished result.

Merlin's message was about an hour old and informed him that the reporter they'd encountered at the lunch room had had the sense to edit the interview so that it was all about Andrew, the video clips of him and Eggsy posted instead on their entertainment website. Merlin had emailed him the link that would take him to it if he wanted to see. He apparently didn't think Harry would be able to manage to view it on his phone. Arsehole.

In all honesty Harry had a feeling he didn't want to see it, but better to do it now than later when he didn't have a headache. This way he'd already have the headache and could sleep it off, the rest of his evening relatively unshadowed.

Setting aside his phone Harry retrieved his tablet and navigated to his personal email account without any problem as this at least he'd mastered until the tech Gods decided to fuck with the site again. And from there he accessed the link and arrived at the correct page entitled 'An Adorable Hartwin Moment'.

God, they really did have a well known couple name.

Starting the video Harry noted that the cameraman had been filming them longer than he'd realized. The video actually started when he was talking his seat at the table and arguing with Eggsy's about letting him feed him. Their conversation hadn't been recorded, thankfully, but the reporter and Andrew's voices had been edited out so that the video was basically pieced together clips of him and Eggsy talking to each other while he fed Eggsy's lunch and their reaction to the comments and good natured ribbing from other members of the cast and crew.

If they were as popular as Eggsy insinuated they were Harry imagined a lot of Hartwin fans were going to love this video.

They loved each other. It was obvious to anyone with eyes. It was there for all to see in the way they looked at each other. Their body language and obvious closeness. Not the sort of love these Hartwin people insisted he and Eggsy felt for each other, of course, that wasn't…but they did love each other. And looking at the video that way…it was actually quite lovely.

Watching the video a second time once it had run its course Harry grabbed the pen and paper he kept on his nightstand afterwards and made note of the title and the news outlet that had produced it. It was bound to find its way onto YouTube before the week was over…and then he could save it in his favorites.

Once that was done and he'd set both the writings materials and his tablet aside Harry turned his attention to finishing stripping off his clothes and then pulled back his covers and slid under the cool sheets with a low sigh of contentment. Bed. Best bloody invention ever.

So of course his phone signaled that he had a message then, because of course he'd forgotten to set it on silent. And it would bug him if he didn't check to make sure it wasn't important. Stupid work ethic and good manners.

Grumbling out curses as he retrieved his phone Harry sighed when he saw that he had a message from Eggsy. Because of course he did.

'Hey. Got your message. So I'm guessing that you're nappin by now and I figured ta text ya and let ya know that after I finish up here I thought I'd stop at your fav place and get us some dinner? Steaks and baked potatoes with all the fixings, of course. And then I was thinkin we could watch the first Mummy movie? Should be done about six thirty, so message me if ya don't want me comin round before then, kay? Sweet dreams, btw. Which means 'by the way' in case ya forgot again heh.'

"Cheeky little brat."

And God how predictable was he that Eggsy had known he'd head straight for a nap and then want his favorite meal afterwards? And crashing in front of the telly with something mindless and entertaining sounded like a bloody brilliant idea.

That being the case Harry sat up more comfortably in bed and typed out a message to him.

'Sounds like a plan to me, Brat. I have dessert covered as well.'

Once it was sent Harry snuggled back under his blankets, though he kept the phone in his hand in case Eggsy still had his phone on him and texted back.

Which he did, the text agreeing that they had a date and why wasn't he sleeping?

'I'm sleep texting.'

'Harry, ya can hardly text when you's is awake.'

Oh that arse. 'On the contrary, my messages always make sense. Which is more than you can say.'

'OMG. WTH, H? U hatin on my spellin again?'

'No dessert for you.'

Eggsy's next text was a selfie of him making a sad puppy face.

He had to laugh, which of course had been Eggsy's intention. And he was still smiling when he sent a text telling Eggsy that he was ridiculous and that he was going to nap now.

'I get dessert?'

'You get dessert. Now sod off.'

Eggsy sent him back a wish of sweet dreams and a smilie face.