Disclaimer: Kim Possible and related characters are created by Bob Schooley & Mark McCorkle. Copyright by Disney.

My sincere thanks to Andarion (andarion . deviantart . com) for beta-reading this story and providing me with feedback and suggestions.

AN: Okay, so previous chapter was a little short, but as compensation, this one is a lot longer, and posted a lot sooner. Thank you all for the comments and other expressions of interest so far.

Also, this chapter contains a few more mature descriptions. Just like before, nothing graphic, but people who are offended by talk about the birds and the bees have been warned.


Chapter 9 – Looking Back

Shego sat back on the bed and took a drink from her soda. "When you first visited Go Tower," she started "Did Hego show you his 'origin of Team Go' movie?"

Kim nodded as she thought back to the short clip Hego had shown her and Ron when they first had found out that Shego had actually been a hero once. "Yeah. He showed us an animation of what had happened. Apparently, you guys were in a tree-house of some sort when it was struck by the Rainbow Meteorite that gave you all your powers."

Shego gave a small snort. "Yeah, that's the way he likes to remember it. The truth is a little different though."

"So you didn't get your powers from that meteorite?" Kim asked

"Oh, there was a meteorite, all right." Shego confirmed "And it did give us our powers. But it never hit our tree-house. You see, the boys had made that thing for the twins, who back then were hardly older than toddlers, and it was a rickety thing. It hardly stayed up in a stiff breeze, so image how it would survive being hit by a meteorite, even a little one. No, we just got hit by the radiation of it, while that damned thing actually crashed close-by." Shego gave a small sigh and took a sip from her soda. "Of all the places it could have hit," she said bitterly, "It crashed in the hall of our house and started a fire. My brothers and I were stunned by the radiation, and we only regained consciousness when we heard the sirens of the fire-fighters. We immediately tried to look for our parents, but they were nowhere to be found. Later we found out that it had been our neighbors who had called 911."

Kim had a horrible feeling of what was about to come, but she just had to ask it. "And your parents?"

Shego shook her head, confirming Kim's fears. "The investigators found their bodies the next day. They couldn't confirm whether they had been killed by the initial blast, or died of asphyxiation in the fire. So, from one day to the other, my brothers and I were orphans, and since we had no close relatives, my mother was an only child and my father's siblings were long dead, we entered the tender care of Uncle Sam. There was a trust-fund awaiting us, and our parents had arranged for good life-insurance as well, but since Hego was only 15 back then, we couldn't touch a single dime of it until he turned 18."

"So what happened then?" Kim inquired.

"Well, we were temporarily housed in an orphanage, awaiting a foster family that was willing to take responsibility for 5 kids." Shego explained. "Part of the provisions in our parents' testament was that there would be a monthly allowance for our foster parents, but only if we were staying together. Needless to say, the authorities needed some time to find a good candidate family."

"And how did people react on your powers?" Kim wanted to know.

"Actually, they didn't." Shego said. "We didn't know what had happened to us… yet."

"So you guys went to a foster family and that's where you found you had super powers?" Kim guessed.

Shego gave a sigh. "If only that had happened. Life would probably have gone completely different for me. You see, we first discovered our powers when we were in that orphanage, and when I say we, I actually mean Hego and me. I was only 12 years old back then, just getting to grips with puberty and realizing that boys are… well, boys. Obnoxious, whiny, bossy, insecure and only very rarely cute. And here I am, starting to become a woman, in a place where I'm forced to live not only close to my brothers, but with a whole pack of strangers. Let's just say my sunny disposition had an important formative phase in those days. Anyway, one of those other brats took an instant disliking to Mego. Don't ask me why, it was probably one of those things. Like you and that rival cheerleader you told me about. Now most of the time, Hego would be around, so Mego would usually be left alone. Hego was one of the oldest boys in the orphanage, and even back then, he was quite buff, quarterback at his school team, you know, the works. So nobody in his right mind would pick a fight with one of us when he was around."

"So the bully waited until he got Mego alone." Kim finished.

"Indeed. Mego was nearly 11 and the bully was 13. He actually got a chance to beat up Mego a few times until it happened. Mego and I were on the way of our rooms when we ran into the bully again. I tried to protect Mego, he was my kid brother after all, but the bully just pushed me away and I fell on the ground. I was angry, I felt frustrated and all of it just kinda burst out in one go. I don't remember what I actually did, but the first thing I remember afterwards is me being held in a tight grip by Hego while the nurse was treating that obnoxious kid." Shego paused for a moment and looked at Kim, who had a look of silent awe and surprise. "It didn't take long for me to end up in the director's office. The kid was being treated for second degree burns, and the only reason I didn't get kicked into juvie jail there and then was that they couldn't find any trace of an inflammatory substance on me, so they couldn't prove that I had actually caused those burns. Hego was with me and he told the director that he had feared that something like that might happen to me, but that he had hoped that he was the only one. Both I and the director didn't have a clue what he was talking about at first, so he explained that he was now convinced that the meteor's radiation had given us super-human powers. I actually laughed at him, telling him he'd been reading too much superhero comics, and the director told him the same, but formulated more politely. So Hego stood up from his chair, picked up the nearest filing cabinet with one hand and proposed to re-organize the director's office. That effectively shut us both up."

Kim gave a small smile. "Yeah, I can imagine. So what happened next?"

A deep frown came over Shego's face and she rubbed her eyes for a moment while she muttered "I hate this part. I wish I could just cut it out of my life." She looked back at Kim and continued. "Hego and I were carried off to a special government facility faster than you can sayconstitutional rights infraction. Apparently, in those days, there was a standing instruction to contact a special number as soon as 'something weird' happened. You might think that Men in Black was a comedy… to me it looked suspiciously like a documentary. So there we were, in a special foster house for children with extra-ordinary powers and a whole platoon of scientists who wanted to know what made us tick. They asked us to show them our powers, and Hego was all too happy to oblige. The big guy just adores the attention, after all. In my case it took a little longer, partly because I refused to play along, but mostly because I had not a damn idea what I had done before or how I would have to do it again. In all honesty, I wasn't even sure I had actually done what they said I did. In those first days, I even hoped that it had been Mego who had done the damage. It took them nearly a week of prodding and cajoling before they started threatening. One of the things they threatened with was that Mego and the twins would be going back to the orphanage, while we would stay at their facility. The idea that Mego would be at the mercy of his bully made something snap inside of me, and I ignited again, taking down half an examination room before they had calmed me down again."

"And the people who were there with you?" Kim asked anxiously.

"Oh, don't worry about them." Shego scoffed. "They got the hell out of there when the first flames appeared. Why do you think I took out my frustration on the scenery?" She gave a sigh and continued. "Anyway, that second time, I was well aware of what I was doing, and this time there was no denying, I had super-powers, just like Hego. The big brass concluded that if both Hego and I had superpowers, there would be a big chance that our brothers had them as well, so the five of us were suddenly residents of the Meta-human Socialization Program. Which is just a fancy word for an orphanage specialized in turning children with special powers into tools of the state. Or at least, that was the original plan."

"You make it sound as if something went wrong" Kim said worriedly.

Shego gave a small derisive snort. "Oh things went wrong, all right. For starters, there's the fact that my disliking of 'The Man' and my loose morals about ownership are mostly due to my stay in that blasted place. But it wasn't only me. You'd probably be interested knowing that Electronique broke out of the same facility the year we were brought in." Kim looked at Shego with horrified surprise. "Yeah. Your tax-dollars at work there Princess. And 'nique wasn't the only one either. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that half of the super-powered villains in the US passed through that facility at one point or another in their life. But I will admit, with Hego, they had the perfect flag-ship. Hego took to the idea of being a shining defender of freedom like a fish to water. So we spent the next years in that facility. I detested it, Hego loved it, Mego didn't care one way or another as long as people acknowledged his existence and the twins didn't even notice anything weird going on."

"So your brothers also learned to use their powers when they were there?" Kim asked.

"Mego found out what he could do about a year after we were brought in. The twins a year after that." Shego confirmed.

"Do they also find out why your powers only had an effect on your and Mego's skin color?" Kim wanted to know.

Shego shook her head. "They never found a reasonable cause. Only likely explanations. The one that sounded the most probable to me is that Mego and me started to use our powers at the onset of puberty, while Hego was already a old enough to be mistaken for an adult, and the twins were still children. But then, anyone's guess is as good as that explanation."

"I guess so." Kim conceded. "So, what happened to you guys in that place?"

"Well, for starters, we got more medical examinations in a month than a normal person has in his life." Shego grumbled. "They never found out exactly what it was that caused our powers, though. We also got classes in a private school, with other kids who were 'special'." She said through clenched teeth while making air-quotes. "Still, most of them didn't show it on the outside, and most of them didn't have something as imposing as my plasma powers. So even amongst them, there were those who considered me a freak." Shego interrupted her story for a moment and stared at her hands. A small green flame appeared in the air above her hands and she sent it dancing along her fingers, while Kim looked at the trick with amazement. "After all, nobody of them could do something remotely as cool as this." As the flame dissipated, Shego looked back up and a small smile played on her lips. "You know, it's been ages since I performed that trick. 'Fine control and reasonable application of force' that was the main mantra of my trainers. I didn't know I still had it in me. Probably the best thing I learned in those days, how to control my powers. Well, that and martial arts. I positively loved the PE room they had. I had been something of a tomboy before the accident, which is to be expected when you spend most of your days with your four nutty brothers, but since I got the meteor powers, I've been bursting with energy, and nothing will burn up energy faster than a few heavy-duty martial arts classes."

Kim nodded her agreement with that statement. "So, you learned anything else outside of how to burn things down and kick some serious ass?"

"Nothing useful, that's for sure." Shego said sarcastically. "A lot of classes about civil rights and legal responsibilities, which were the height of irony since more than half of us had been 'recruited' against our will. Your basic history and language courses and stuff like that. No, I was more than happy when Hego got us out of there."

"How did…" Kim began, but Shego already interrupted her. "Hego was fascinated with the idea of being a superhero. As soon as he turned 18 and had access over our parents' inheritance, and the possibility to file for legal guardianship over us, he convinced the people in charge to let us go outside and form a super-hero team. He got his wish and they even set him up in the building that would later become Go-Tower. I thought that the whole idea of becoming super heroes was, well… silly. But Hego got me out of that accursed government facility, so I was thankful enough to humor him. Mego just did what his big brother told him to and the twins were still too young to risk their lives on behalf of other people any way. Besides, they had only learned how to use their powers less than a year before and frankly, weren't quite good at it yet. Unless it involved pulling a prank on one of us, that is. And that is the true origin of Team Go."

"Well, it certainly is less poetic." Kim chuckled. "But also a lot more gripping than Hego's version. So it was in those days that Hego set you guys up with a private tutor?"

Shego nodded. "The best thing he's ever done with our parent's money. It was a good tutor who managed to grip your interest. She could make the most boring subject interesting by using real-life examples, forcing you to participate in the class and techniques like that. Plus, you could always note that she was genuinely interested in the well-being of her pupils, even though it was only the four of us. It was such a change from the dead stiffs that had taught my in the years before, I flew through my classes and she was the person who inspired me to study Child Development."

"Really?" Kim asked in surprise.

"Oh yeah." Shego said emphatically. "I could totally see myself being a motivating teacher who is like a shining beacon to her students. So when I told her what I wanted to study, she advised me to start with a psychology bachelor's because that would be a good basis for later studies, and open more doors should I 'develop other interests along the line', as she put it. So I studied a lot and when it was clear that I would be getting my high-school equivalent after a year of being tutored by here, I applied for college-level psych courses, and got accepted. I guess that was one of the happiest days of my life."

"So what went wrong?" Kim asked "Why did you become a criminal? Hego suggested you just got fascinated with evil."

Shego snorted. "A simple explanation for a simple mind. I guess that my other brothers weren't around when he told you that." Kim nodded "Yeah, I thought so. I'm sure Mego would have set him straight. The three of us had a reasonably good time as heroes of Go City, I guess. We took on some super villains, like Avarius and Electronique, but most of the time, we stopped ordinary crime. Bank-robbers, muggers and such. We were something of an unofficial extension of the Go City PD. We couldn't actually arrest people, but we could detain them until the police took them of our hands. The average citizen was pretty happy with it, but we got called quite a lot of names by the talking heads, 'loose cannons' and 'vigilantes' for instance. The Go City underworld used a lot worse descriptions. You wouldn't believe how often I've heard the word 'freak' from the mouth of a person who had just committed a violent crime. Anyway, when they had finally turned 10 years old, the Wegoes had bugged Hego and me long enough to allow them to come along as part of the team. And after a few initial weeks of getting used to them tagging along, we had to accept that they were actually a very useful addition to the team. In that year, we were at our most effective. The fêted heroes of Go City. We were close to becoming national heroes, a lot like you and Ron, I guess. But fate decided differently."

"Your fall from Grace…" Kim said.

"Well, nothing so dramatic like that," Shego said. "But, yeah. You see, what happened is that while we became more effective in our job, we also fell under much closer scrutiny. We were non affiliated after all, and some of the bigger criminals in Go City, you know, the ones sitting in their pretty offices who, if you scratch away 10 layers of bogus companies turn out to run half the organized crime in the city, started to sick their lawyers on us each time we prevented another crime. Though there is no law that can prohibit people from making a citizen's arrest, there is the matter of the use of violence. The better we became, the more we had to make sure that the police received their package in one piece. In my last two months as a member of Team Go, no less than 5 criminals were let free because they had been hurt by us during their arrest."

"But, that's ridiculous!" Kim exclaimed. "There's such a thing as acceptable use of violence! And what about the right to self-defense?"

"Well, you're the one who's studying criminal science, you tell me." Shego agreed. "But what we kept hearing was that 'reasonable use of violence' is limited to duly appointed officers of the law, which we weren't. And the right to self-defense only applies when one is attacked, not when one actively seeks out a fight. Or at least, those were the points those lawyers brought up. And since they were backed by the big bucks, more and more people went along with the idea. Especially when they started to use the media to smear our reputation."

"Were they out of their mind?!" Kim asked indignantly.

"Kim, haven't you found out by now that people are sheep?" Shego countered. "Most people don't think for themselves. They just repeat whatever the loudest pundit said the day before on the air. I started to dislike the whole hero concept more and more with each job we did. Especially after I turned 18 and the media considered that as a declaration that the gloves were off now. They still cut Mego and the Wegoes some slack, but Hego and me, they followed and analyzed our every move. Now as you have probably already noticed, Hego is too pre-occupied with being a shining beacon of goodness to even care how strongly people interfere with his life, but I need my privacy. So with every passing day, I got more and more fed up with the ingrates in our city, and then, one day, the proverbial drop fell. We were called in to take care of a bank robbery with a hostage situation, and the robbers had actually taken the effort of studying our moves. One of them managed to catch one of the Wegoes and threatened to shoot him. I lost it then and there and shot a full blast into his face. He dropped Wego and his weapon, and when his mates saw my fire, they quickly dropped their weapons as well. I will admit that I was pretty shocked by my own use of violence, because until that moment, I had only used it defensively or on inanimate objects, never offensively against a human being. So while the paramedics were helping him on the stretcher, I tried to get to him and, well, offer my apologies. But despite his wounds and the tranquilizers, when he saw me, he raged 'What kind of monster are you?' I was really shocked by that. Then, a few days later, we got an even bigger shock. Not only was he released from prison because he hadn't been arrested according to procedure, he sued me! Sued me for inflicting grievous bodily harm! Hego tried to talk reason with the DA, but he told us that there was no way he could avoid this going to court, unless I would plead guilty, in which case I would probably 'get off' with only 6 months of which 2 would be effective. That's when I told the DA and the whole of Go City that they could stick their public safety where the sun don't shine and I left Team Go."

"Wow…." Kim said silently. "Wow…"

"Yeah." Shego sighed.

"Wow…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kim and Shego were standing next to each other in Shego's quarters. Shego went through a basic tai chi routine while Kim copied her movements almost perfectly. They had been training only for a few weeks now, and in the meantime, Kim had to take her Mid-terms as well, but the petite hero picked up the movements with surprising speed. Her biggest challenge was, as Shego had already suggested, controlling her speed and to concentrate on performing the exercises at a speed that lay way below Kim's normal operating velocities.

It had become something of a ritual after Kim had gone back to college. Kim would come by for her weekly visit, Shego would teach Kim tai chi for an hour and after that, they would fall back to their friendly conversations. Kim still brought her treats, though Shego would share them more often with Kim now.

The month that had passed since Kim returned to her normal schedule had had a profound impact on Shego. She had been training every day for an hour, now that Dr. Director had given her access to GJ's training facilities, under heavy guard of course. It hadn't taken long for Shego to work herself back to her old physical conditions, but boredom was now looming above her head. That was why her quarters no longer contained books about motherhood but advanced psychology courses. Shego would never have suspected that forced inactivity would bother her so much; she even had no fellow inmates to bug now. She had jumped on the opportunity to teach Kim the basics of tai chi with eagerness, even though it had been a challenge to get Kim past the first stage of basic concentration and breath control.

When they finished their series of exercises, Shego went to fresh up and Kim unpacked a fresh cake she had brought along and cut it in a few pieces. When Shego tasted the cake, she was surprised by the quality and asked Kim where she'd bought it. "Oh, no." Kim replied. "This is home-made cake. Fresh from the oven this morning."

Shego looked at Kim in surprise. "You baked it yourself?" she asked, unable to suppress her amazement.

Kim laughed. "No, this is Ron's doing. He had to make 10 cakes this morning, some kind of exercise to maintain quality over large numbers he told me. He gave me one to bring along."

"He knew you'd come to see me and he gave you a cake he baked so I could taste it?" Shego sounded even more surprised than when she thought Kim had baked it. Kim nodded her confirmation. "Are you sure I don't need to check for poison first?" Shego asked a tad suspiciously.

"He knew that I'd be eating it as well, so I'm pretty sure you're safe." Kim re-assured Shego. "Actually, I get the feeling that Ron is feeling more at ease about our friendship since that fight we had. Probably because I explained him that it was your counseling that brought us closer together."

Shego took a second piece of cake. "Well, you can tell him that he certainly makes great cakes. This even makes me curious about the rest of his culinary qualities."

"I hope you'll be able to find out for yourself soon," Kim said. "Without the need for him to come over the GJ HQ to cater a meal."

"You mean me going to a restaurant as a free woman?" Shego asked. Kim nodded and Shego sighed. "I'm not getting my hopes up for that one any time soon. Dr. Director owns me right now, and she knows it. I don't think I'll just walk out of here anytime soon."

Kim sighed and took another bite from her cake, knowing but not wanting to admit that Shego was probably right. She swallowed and silently took a sip from her coffee, unsure of how to continue the conversation, or how to bring up the other subject that had been bugging her. Shego, however, had learned to read Kim in the last half year and quickly understood that Kim's uncomfortable silence wasn't due just to the remark she had just made. As always, Shego went for the straight attack. "But there's something else you want to ask me, don't you Kimmie?"

Kim sighed, partly in relief and partly because of her anxiety to bring up the subject. "Well, yes. As you know, Ron and I worked out the differences we had after your loss. And your advice to me has made us more… easy around each other. I guess the cake is actually a way of Ron's to say 'thanks' for all that."

"I'm happy to hear that." Shego said "But I thought we had already covered all that before. So what's new?"

Kim swallowed "Well, with all the renewed … er… happiness we have to be around each other, I was … ah… wondering how we can know that the time is right to … ah…"

Shego looked at the stammering teen and saw how her blushing cheeks nearly became as red as her fiery hair. "Kimmie," She said "Are you trying to tell me that you and your boyfriend are still virgins and you want to know whether you're ready for sex?"

Kim exhaled in relief. "Yes. Well, I don't know for Ron, but I am pretty sure. But yes on the rest of your question."

"Wow!" Shego said. "I'm honestly surprised that you come to me for that question. I mean, isn't your best friend also your roommate? I would have expected you to share such girl-talk with her. Not that I'm displeased that you ask me, mind you."

"I did think of talking it over with Monique." Kim confirmed. "But the thing is, I'm not so sure about her own experiences. I mean, she talks the talk, but I've never actually seen her with somebody who comes close to being a boyfriend."

"And you know that Ido have the experience?" Shego asked teasingly.

Kim smiled sheepishly. "Well, you did have that whole getting pregnant thing, and from your description, I could understand that it wasn't the first time either."

"My goodness, no!" Shego chuckled. "Not that I'm some kind of lusty slut who dives in bed with everybody she fancies, though." She hastened to add. "Anyway… what is it you want to know. When you know you are ready? Or more like… general pointers?"

Kim blushed again. "Well, I'm actually pretty sure that we are ready." She said softly "But what I'm most … concerned about…" she looked Shego right in the eyes "Does it hurt? I mean, the first time?"

"Oh, boy." Shego said. "Excuse me a second." And she stood up and walked over to a closet. A moment later she returned with two glasses and a bottle of wine.

"You're drinking again?" Kim asked in surprise.

"Not 'again'" Shego re-assured Kim. "I got this bottle for Christmas and kept it for something special. I guess that having a serious talk about sex with my former teen-aged foe is about as special as you can get, don't you?"

"Er… and what about that whole me being a minor?" Kim inquired.

"Ah, piffle!" Shego dismissed the concern. "You're nearly 19 years old. You've saved this world more often than most adults. And since I don't even know in which state I'm being held, how can I be sure you're considered a minor in that state?"

"Well, actually, we're in…" Kim started.

"Ah! Ah! Ah!" Shego interrupted her. "Hear no evil, see no evil."

Oh well, Kim shrugged. It's not like she's robbing laboratories for high-tech prototypes.

Shego filled the glasses and Kim took a careful sip from her glass. Well, at least it tasted better than the few beers she had drunk at college so far.

Shego sat back and took a drink from her glass and looked intently at Kim. "So, the big question. Does it hurt?" she gave a little sigh before continuing "I'm afraid I can't speak from my own experience, but general consensus is that it's usually a sharp, short pain which gets lost within the other sensations soon enough, especially if its part of a loving moment of passion."

Kim looked slightly surprised at Shego. "How come you don't remember what it felt like?"

"Because for me, the whole experience was less than nice, that's why." Shego said while she took another sip from her glass. She looked at Kim and saw the question practically burning in the young woman's eyes. "You're dying to ask me for more details, aren't you?" Shego asked with an amused smile. Kim blushed and nodded.

"Well, there's a reason I took out the wine." Shego said. "I guess it's time I told somebody. They say it's therapeutic to share bad experiences with people you trust. Plus, it might help you later to recognize the same situation happening to an innocent person, giving you a chance to help them before the real damage is done."

Shego steeled herself for the looks of disapproval she was sure she'd get from Kim during her trip down memory lane and began. "After I left Team Go, I tried to make a name for myself in the community of evil-doers. Contrary to what you'd think, that turned out to be pretty difficult. At first, I limited myself to Go City, where most of the underground suspected me of being an infiltrator. So I left Go City and tried to make a name in other big cities, like New York, San Francisco and LA. Sure, nobody there knew of my history with Team Go, but that also meant they didn't know my powers, and only saw a girl in her late teens. Most of those days, I only spent my time hanging around in disreputable bars, looking as ruthless as possible and hoping that I'd be contacted for a job. Needless to say, most of the jobs people thought to hire me for were not what I had in mind."

At the slightly confused look of Kim, Shego clarified. "They thought I was some kind of call-girl." Kim made a silent "O" and started to blush. "Did you, you know…" Kim stammered.

"Hell, no!" Shego said vehemently. "I never was in need of money like that. I might not have been hired like I hoped, but I certainly managed to use my skills to maintain myself." She took another drink "Those indecent proposals got me blacklisted in quite some heavy duty bars, actually." Shego continued with a grin. "My usual reaction to them was just ignoring them or giving a snide remark, but some hopefuls could be very insistent, and I'd be forced to show them what kind of skills I did have for hire. Most bartenders, however, are very loathe to let you back in after you have broken half of their furniture on the skulls of their regular clientele." Kim couldn't help but chuckle at Shego's remark. That was definitely like the Shego she had come to know.

"Still, it was that short fuse that finally landed me a decent job." Shego continued. "At the time, I was in San Francisco, and once again needed to forcefully show that I was not a prostitute. It was actually quite enjoyable, until the cops arrived. As you might guess, I didn't stick around and left through the backdoor, along with the few visitors who could still stand. When I wanted to walk away, I was held up by a hulking tough guy who turned out to have the intelligence of a stunned herring. Think Motor Ed but dumb it down a notch or two." Kim couldn't help but shudder at that mental image.

"Indeed." Shego said. "Anyway, as it turned out, one of the people that got knocked out quite early in the fight, and afterwards got himself arrested by the police, was his partner-in-crime and the brains in their little outfit. The thing was, they had a job for that evening, and our tough guy thought he could bully me into replacing his partner. I took the job, because I could use the introduction into the underworld, but I quickly discovered that my partner wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. So after a few jobs, it was me who ran our little operation. His connections and my smarts gave me the opening I needed to start making a name for myself in the business. Unfortunately, after a few weeks, his buddy got out of jail and he assumed that he would automatically be in charge. He didn't mind having another helpful hand in his gang, but he wouldn't think of letting his position be usurped. And the big oaf defaulted to listening to the person he had listened to for the longest."

Shego took a short pause to take a drink and continued. "So I thought that I'd use guile to bring the big guy over to my side. Stupid, I know that now. I should just have shown them both I was their superior both in brain and brawn, but I was still a newbie back then. I guess I had watched too many movies, because I actually tried to seduce the big guy and use his dependency on me to have him support me as the boss. If I had known then what I know now… You can't use sex to lead somebody your way if you don't already have them in your thrall. To make a painfully long story short, the big oaf jumped on the possibility to use me, but he never lusted after me, so I had no power over him, at least not that way. I guess the only good thing was that he was a self-absorbed ass who thankfully was exhausted in one go. The only reason I can't call what happened that night rape, is that I started it myself and I didn't use my powers to stop it when I could. Needless to say, the whole ordeal was painful, and it took me nearly a year before I had worked up the courage, I can't use another word for it, to have sex again."

Kim looked at Shego with pity in her eyes. She had never thought that Shego's initiation into the underworld had been so difficult. For some reason, she had imagined that on the day Shego decided that she'd become a villain, she immediately became the top predator she had been when they first met. She couldn't help to be amazed at the stubbornness Shego must have felt in those days. "So, what happened with those guys?" Kim finally asked.

"What do you think?" Shego said bitterly "I lost what little respect the oaf had had for me before, doy! I quickly noticed that I couldn't stay with those two for much longer, or I'd have fried both of them. Fortunately, my exploits had become known in wider circles and when I got a mail from a certain mad scientist who was looking for a body-guard annex cat-burglar, I left my 'partners' and went looking for better employment. But not after I left an anonymous letter with the local police on where they might find some interesting stolen goods." She added with a satisfied smile.

Kim took another sip from her wine. "Well, that's quite the story Shego." She said. "I'm really sorry to hear that things were so terrible for you back then."

"Yeah, well, I guess that's part of what made me deal with what came later on and what helped giving me my sunny disposition." Shego said. "I also became highly skeptical about such things as love and sexuality. As I told you, it took me nearly a year before I had sex again, and every time, I must be in full control. I guess that not having been in control, or at least the possibility of not having been in control, freaked me out more than anything else about that week-end after your graduation. Fortunately for most women, my experiences were anything but typical. Most seem to be perfectly happy to have somebody to share their bed with. Heck, when I was doing time, I've seen women go week at the knees with anticipation when a conjugal visit was coming up. So I guess that you've got nothing to be worried about. Sex in a loving relationship is probably one of the greatest things we can experience in this life."

Shego finished her glass before adding with a hint of regret "It's just not meant to be for me."

--End of chapter 9—

Next: Kim… well, you know…