9.

the heartbeats i hear never frighten me

never worry or scare

there's no reason for them to

because unlike when i had one of my own

they can't hurt me

the tables have been turned

spun

flipped

and rearranged

soft to hard

weak to strong

feeble to fierce

survival of the fittest i suppose is what it is

a basic instinct

to live

if that's what i'm doing by surviving

by merely being strong enough to

fast enough

dead enough

and heartless

and fearless because i'm all

the heartbeats i hear never frighten me

and i'm not afraid now

of the one i do

and see

and the one that's seeing me

even though it's big

a monstrosity of pulsing flowing red

i'm not afraid

it's not why i haven't moved

i haven't moved because i'm trying to figure out why it hasn't

come any closer

or retreated

gone back to where it came from

before it was here

watching me

studying i think

trying to figure out what i am

and why i'm not what i'm not

and not afraid of what it is

though i'm not sure at all about that

what it is

i just know that like me it isn't afraid

doesn't feel threatened

by my red

does it think that mine makes it safe?

unwanted by me?

unneeded for my survival?

does it know how strangely unappetizing i find it?

i think it might

because it steps closer now

just a little

just enough

just to the edge of the snow draped trees

just a nose past

literally

a nose

nothing more and nothing less than that

and than enough

for it

and for me

to just be

coexist in this place

my place

that i'm no longer alone in

..tq..

a little clearer? just a smidge? or a nose, perhaps?