9.
the heartbeats i hear never frighten me
never worry or scare
there's no reason for them to
because unlike when i had one of my own
they can't hurt me
the tables have been turned
spun
flipped
and rearranged
soft to hard
weak to strong
feeble to fierce
survival of the fittest i suppose is what it is
a basic instinct
to live
if that's what i'm doing by surviving
by merely being strong enough to
fast enough
dead enough
and heartless
and fearless because i'm all
the heartbeats i hear never frighten me
and i'm not afraid now
of the one i do
and see
and the one that's seeing me
even though it's big
a monstrosity of pulsing flowing red
i'm not afraid
it's not why i haven't moved
i haven't moved because i'm trying to figure out why it hasn't
come any closer
or retreated
gone back to where it came from
before it was here
watching me
studying i think
trying to figure out what i am
and why i'm not what i'm not
and not afraid of what it is
though i'm not sure at all about that
what it is
i just know that like me it isn't afraid
doesn't feel threatened
by my red
does it think that mine makes it safe?
unwanted by me?
unneeded for my survival?
does it know how strangely unappetizing i find it?
i think it might
because it steps closer now
just a little
just enough
just to the edge of the snow draped trees
just a nose past
literally
a nose
nothing more and nothing less than that
and than enough
for it
and for me
to just be
coexist in this place
my place
that i'm no longer alone in
..tq..
a little clearer? just a smidge? or a nose, perhaps?
