Crapshak: 0:-D He had his breakdown that's for sure, and he's not quite done yet. So he isn't exactly sane, he's just in a more stable place than before. There is a sort of sadistic delight in hearing that xP it's always good to hear that one's writing is that powerful.

Amanda: I adore writing nature scenes, just an fyi, but in a different way than I enjoy describing disgruntled appearances. And thank you once again, I was hoping that someone would catch that. I feel like with a war, the effects are gonna last a little bit longer then a couple of years. He did indeed make a little headway with her. She doesn't hate him. :) Omg, praise Jesus, I didn't think anyone paid attention to my chapter titles. :'D

Guest: I get that-while yes man reviews help me stroke my ego lol, I like more critical/analytical ones too. They give me some good pointers and things to think about. Anyways; That's a good point lmao. Personally I'm going in pretty blind and up until now I've only done a touch of research on how drugs/boozes mix. Basically I just looked at what would be safe to mix without killing oneself. To be honest I've always felt like there's cactus juice in its pure unrefined form and then there's the saturated/processed version. The straight up, fresh out the cactus, cactus juice has the hallucinogenic aspects and the processed cactus juice has a more alcoholic affect. If that makes sense. Idk if that's how it really works tho. Someone else mentioned basing the withdrawal symptoms on meth, so that's actually what I started to do in this chapter because I agree with you both; the symptoms kick in much faster and mirror what have her going through already more closely than coke does. Plus it's also snorted like coke (which was practically the main reason I based RT on it). Basically what I'm saying is that the more I think about it the more I feel like RT isn't a hybrid of LSD and coke but a hybrid of meth and LSD. So that was a very useful pointer from your review and Soulhope's.

The reason I had her die is because I just finished a fic where they simply broke up-in fact that's how I usually do it lol-so this was kind of mixing it up a bit for me personally. You just so happened to come across one of the few where I did kill her off lol. But yeah, I share your preference for keeping her alive. I just feel like a break up wouldn't have been as traumatic especially when up against Azula's demons, if that makes sense. But I do like your suggestions too having her cheat on him or abuse him or something; that would be more traumatic for sure. It's a little late now though. xD

Anyhow thanks for the honest feedback and suggestions! Also I'm rather interested in your fic idea.


Sokka hadn't meant to neglect Azula for so long. His venture to Hira'a was supposed to take a day or two at most. But it would seem that Ursa had a lot more planned than he thought. She wanted to show the group seemingly every nook and cranny of the place. From her childhood home and hideouts to the little turtle-crab shack she used work during the summers. That was what she said that they would be doing, but the Hira'a theatre put on a two-night long production of Love Amongst the Dragons in honor of the Lady Ursa's return.

All in all, the trip had been fun enough but he was ready to go home. Especially knowing that he had completely forgotten to ask nor even tell the princess that they were leaving. It had been eating him alive the whole vacation and he was itching to check up on her. Three days to herself, was a long time for her to be alone. Day four was just beginning and he was determined to be home by nightfall, even if he had to out-nag Katara.

.oOo.

He didn't come back to visit her. Azula couldn't say she was surprised, she had been so adamant about kicking him out. In truth she decided that she didn't want him to leave at all. No, what she wanted was to demand it just to hear him beg to stay, longed to hear him insist that he'd stay. It made her feel wanted. But the risk she had taken in doing so, seemed to have backfired.

She couldn't blame him for not wanting to be around her. Her room alone was pungent with the musky smell of tobacco and cactus juice, just one of those scents was off-putting, as a combined odor they could make the strongest person flee.

Azula wandered over to her dresser, feeling about the drawer for the hidden compartment she'd crafted with in. She found the latch and flicked it up, brushing her fingers over the pouch of Ruby Tears. She was almost afraid to try it again, the first few times had been such disasters.

She stayed away from the cactus juice too; she couldn't stop crafting scenarios in her mind. Ones very similar to the real thing. In each scenario she bared her chest but the end result was quite different. In one of them Sokka had agreed that he did want to use her. In a different scenario, Sokka had left her and someone else decided to take advantage. She was squeamish at the thoughts of what could have happened. But she hadn't had a drink in a little over twenty-four hours and she was growing agitated. Despite the fears, she probably would have caved and taken another drink—just one glass—she told herself. But both fortunately and unfortunately for the princess, she had in fact drained her stash during the last binge.

So Azula found her kiseru instead. She twirled it between her fingers before filling and lighting it. Reclining in one of her many chairs, she asked herself why she didn't just stick to the tobacco. It was the first thing she had turned to and it was the most reliable. For the most part it offered only a relaxed haze, one that she craved so terribly. The euphoria of the cactus juice was nice, but it came with a hefty price.

Alone, she sat, her attention flickering between the wafting smoke and the door. She considered that Sokka was simply running late or had matters to attend. He couldn't possibly drop by every day and she didn't want him too, she wasn't that needy. Still she fixated her attention on the door, until the tobacco had her too lethargic to keep her head up. She dosed off with one hand resting upon the armrest and her kiseru hand dangling limply over the side. Somehow the device remained grasped loosely between her middle two fingers.

A second day came to pass and Sokka still didn't make an appearance. She was happy to say, to no attribute of her own, that she hadn't touched the cactus juice since the morning she woke up with Sokka by her side. A good two days, that was, going on three. But she would change that as soon as she found a servant willing to run to the market for her. She also prided herself on not getting near the Ruby Tears either. A few more hours would change that.

They passed uneventfully, with her berating herself for various things while trying to muster up the willpower to do something, anything. But one thing remained painfully clear; she had messed things up with the one person who could be bothered to visit her. It was a fresh slash to her ego and she had to alleviate the sting. She would give him another hour to stop by before deciding that Sokka hated her as much as the rest of them. Needing something to do, Azula unfolded the letter she'd received and ignored the day before. She had taken the time to pen a note to Chan when she noticed her supply growing low. He had only just gotten back to her with the price and a basic map. She put it aside, hoping to never use it.

A half an hour drifted by at a tantalizingly slow pace. It gave her plenty of time to take notice of the cold sweat at her brow and the peculiar shaking of her hands. Growing jittery, she took to pacing about the room.

Azula tried with everything she had, to latch onto the pride that came with having been free of Ruby Tears and cactus juice, even if it had only been such a short amount of time.

The second half of the hour came to pass. By then Azula noted the dryness of her mouth and the occasional tremor that wracked her body. Still Sokka didn't knock. He was probably off sharing what he'd seen with dear Zu-Zu and the rest of his friends. They were probably laughing and jesting about how far she'd fallen, and how well-deserved it was. Funny it was indeed, that someone who had been so talented at manipulating and wrapping others around her finger, couldn't keep track of herself. And it was another hour after that before she too began to hate herself again, with twice as much intensity. The mental and physical torment proved to be a force to reckon with. Unable to bare the sensations that harassed her for a second longer, Azula ripped her dresser open and plucked the pouch out with trembling fingers.

Had he been there, Sokka would have been delighted to know that she'd gone the extra day without touching anything other than her kiseru. But he couldn't be fucked to drop by, so she dumped the entirety of the pouch out and inhaled it all. Granted what was left of her stash was only a little more than she'd take normally, but it felt so good to do something spiteful once again. Even she knew that she was only hurting herself. But Agni, she could pretend otherwise. It felt good to pretend, and if she spun it the right way, she could tell herself that she had control over something again.

As if to kick her even more, the Ruby Tears lacked its usual punch.

.oOo.

Azula felt anxious and powerful all at once, creeping down the hallway in the latest hour of night. It reminded her of the days when she had clear goals and missions. If she imagined hard enough, she could almost make-believe that she was on one. It had been so long since she'd left her room, and much longer since she made it anywhere further than a little down the hall. She almost couldn't remember the layout of the palace. But for the first time in ages, her mind was nearly clear. She was still terribly drained, but she had motivation and a speckle of determination on her side. Two more things that she clung furiously to.

She imagined that her task would be rather easy this time around, with Zu-Zu and Ursa well away from the palace and Iroh planted firmly in the Jasmine Dragon. She might have to sweet talk a couple of guards or set off a blast of fire or two. But that would be easy enough. But she wouldn't if she didn't have to. The less fuss she made, the less questions would be asked, and the less questions asked the better off she would be in the long run. For that, Azula swapped her baggy pants for something form-fitting and black in color. Such a simple task that would have been, had she not lost so much weight. In the end she dressed herself in the smallest pants she had, and she still had to rustle about the room to find something to bind them up with. The top was a bit easier, though still loose the short sleeves kept it from slipping off. Overall, her attire was stealthy enough for what she needed to accomplish.

Even at her worst, she still had some semblance of the world around her. To some degree, Azula had kept tabs on the guards and their whereabouts at what times, based on when they'd knock at her door to check on her. Since Sokka had been absent they'd started knocking again. She couldn't be sure of their locations on the floors below though. She couldn't imagine that they'd hassle her any of they spotted her, but she had no desire to talk to them. She waited for the pair of guards to make a left down the hall before making her right and taking to the stair case. For a considerable span of time she stood at the window facing the courtyard, getting a feel for the direction of the night patrol. When she finally felt as though she had gained enough intel she continued to creep down the hall, sticking mostly to the shadows and only weaving out of them when an inconveniently placed piece of furniture forced her to do so.

She considered for a moment, running back up the stairs to retrieve a guard uniform of her own—if she could steal it when high, she'd have no problem snatching it when mostly sober. She decided against it, reasoning that the bulky armor would only slow her down.

She took a deep breath, the hardest part of her mission upon her. One place that was never left unguarded at any point, was the palace treasury. If she didn't deliver a crippling blow per guard it would be well and over. They'd call for back up and she'd be questioned to hell and back and then probably locked away again, nice and safe and away from the world. Drawing in another breath, she burst away from her hiding spot, pulling just enough lightning to her fingertips, to have the guards on the ground. As they charged, she thrust her arms out and jabbed both men in the middle. She watched them topple.

Azula had to take a moment—one that she really didn't have time for—to rest her sore body. She stumbled into the treasury and slumped against the wall. She was surprised to find that those tiny taser-sized bolts had depleted a good portion of her energy pool. She slammed her fist against the wall, she should be that tired already. After two lighter pounds, she heaved herself away from the wall and plucked a pouch full of coins. The price of Ruby Tears, high-end stuff anyhow, came at a substantial fee. One that she could more than afford, but at any rate would draw attention if her habit worsened. Once or twice though, maybe even three or four times, she'd be able to pocket some money without it being missed. Anymore than that and Zuko would eventually notice that gold was being spent without being accounted for. It was a fear that lie in the back of her mind for when the problem arose. Some how she felt that it would sooner rather than later.

With the currency safely pocketed away, Azula snuck back into the hallway, taking the time to position the guards as if they'd merely fallen asleep.

With a little more wandering, eventually she came to the second place she was seeking, one of her favorite secret passages. The one she used time and time again as a child and once more during her kemurikage masquerade. Safely tucked within the hidden hallway, she would have no more worry about running into company. She would only have to worry about crossing the courtyard, but if she had planned accordingly she'd emerge from the passageway during the small window of time where the side of the palace was left unguarded. There were two guards station to patrol north, east, west, and south at all times. The route was simple enough, one guard would do a sweep of the outer most boarder and one would do a sweep of the innermost. This required a back and forth stride from one end of their zone to the next. Usually the inner patrol personal would come to meet at the center (where they'd chat it up for a few precious minutes), while the outer patrol retreated at separate corners of their zones. This granted Azula the perfect opening to make a quick sprint towards the exit. She grinned to herself, realizing that she still had some deductive skill and brainpower left. It felt refreshing to put it to use, even if the end goal was to simply acquire herself more drugs to sap it away.

The hardest part of her task was behind her, all she had to do was get to the rendezvous point. The streets were quiet except for a few night-shifters on their way home from or to work, a few party goers, those who fancied late-night strolls, and a handful of citizens who were for some reason or another inclined to do their shopping late at night. For the most part the Fire Nation streets, especially those closest to the palace, were free of low-lives and thugs. The Fire Nation had an economy as booming as their bending, very few people slipped between the cracks, making night walks relatively safe and free of pickpocketers. No, she would have to make her way to the outer rim of the back side of the volcano and a little ways past to the shoddier outskirts of the city. The parts that Ozai and Zuko alike, tried to hide.

Drawing a hood over her head, Azula motioned for a carriage driver. The woman would only take her as far as the border of town and told her that she was on her own in finding a way back. The chastising look in her eyes, told Azula that the woman thought her a fool for going in this direction at all. The princess figured that she was probably correct.

.oOo.

Azula wasn't sure if she was off-put or thankful for the lack of attention she was paid as she made her way to Chan's alley. Keeping her hood up and her face obscured, she wandered along an ill-tended to path. In this place her sight needed to be everywhere at once, even on the ground, lest she trip over one of the potholes of a size bigger than both of her feet and then some.

There was an odor in the air of sulfur and the trash that littered ever corner. Bottles, clothes, old and rotting carriage tires, and bundles of dirty cloth wadded drainage systems and decorated the streets. The houses were in just as sorry of a state. Most seemed to be rotting away—at various stages of decay—and some seemed to be caving in on themselves. All of them had mold or mildew or some putrid fungus weeping from their crevices. A handful of the shacks spit their wood and shingles into the dry grass below. Too small to fit it all within their walls, another cluster of houses leaked beaten furniture. Azula could only imagine how overflowing their interiors must look. A part of the firebender connected with these houses.

Occasionally she had to step over a body or two, she couldn't gauge for certain if they were sleeping or dead, and she wasn't going to give them an examination. Azula crinkled her nose as she passed one of the overflowing waste gutters. That's when the regret really had time to seep in. All in all, the place was complete scum. The kind of setting that reserved for the broken and the beat down. The kind of place where souls wasted away with the kind of people Azula had looked down upon all her life. The desperate sort, the filthy, trashy sort, and the miserable sort.

All at once, Azula wondered if she belonged among them. Had she not been born into royalty, she may have been one of them. Blood aside, she certainly wasn't quite so different, in any other regard. With their haggard clothing, gaunt bodies, and hollow faces.

She watched a man with an unkempt beard stagger drunkly from any alleyway, nearly colliding with her. She took an alarmed step back. The man snarled and throw his bottle at her feet, grumbling a few indistinguishable curses, likely about how she had obstructed his serene stroll. Azula winced and picked a few shards from her feet, thankful that none of them bit too deep. She would still have to cleanse them intensely when she got home, Agni only knew where that bottle had been.

Another block up, offered her the sight of a girl even younger than she, pressed up against the back of an alley. She couldn't have been older than sixteen. Her eyes were frantic and unfocused, her body twitchy and jittery. Her arms bruised all over. She brushed a long tangle of brittle greying-black hair from her face. Azula could see her face twisting and untwisting as she sputtered about how the alleymen were on their way to take her. Azula's stomach lurched, as the image hit far too close to home. The princess took another step back. Back in the day, there wasn't much that frightened her but lately she was discovering more and more that did. She was chest deep in uncharted territory, with unfamiliar foes, no plan, and no way save for her own two bleeding feet to get home.

Just like the drugs she was doing this for, this was no battlefield, and she didn't know her way about it. For the first time in her life, she cursed her high-birth and the sights it—up until present—spared her.

So this, she thought as she took in all of the sights in full, is what they call The Ash Pit.

Azula unfolded Chan's letter, she had to be getting close. He made note of a structure called 'The Spoke Wheel'. According to his footnote, it was a tower of wheels with sharpened points, crafted by his gang. It was a landmark and to the left of it, was the start of their territory. With more caution than before, Azula made her way passed the structure. She followed the map until she came to a particularly tiny, run-down shack. She thought it looked more like a large shed. Out front was a small campfire surrounded by rough and burly looking ruffians.

The princess knew that she ought to turn back. Knew that idiodic was an underwhelming description of the action she was about to take. No less, she refused to let her trip be for nothing so she made her way towards the group.

Her approach invited a line of gawkers; about six males at various stages in the journey from boyhood to manhood and two girls. One of these women, had bigger biceps than her male companions, her stare alone seemed to ask for a fight. The other of the two girls spit at Azula's shoes, missing by a few inches. She ignored the stares and approached Chan. "The Ruby Tears?" She withdrew her pouch of coins. Such an action elicited a round of laughter. With her lip twitching, she kept her eyes on Chan.

"Never be in these parts before have ye?" Greeted one of the boys. "Only the dumb ones pull out their money like that, boy."

"That ain't no boy, Yoko. That a girl." Spoke the younger boy next to him. He got to his feet, and came to stand much too close. "She kinda a pretty girl."

"That's what you're calling pretty?" Asked the muscular girl.

"Well you and Yoona ain't give us much better standard." The boy replied leaning in even closer to Azula, "she smell kinda nice too." He grinned and snaked his hand around her waist.

Impulse alone had her knocking him to the ground. She knew that it was a horrible move before the rest of the group stood up. "Ya gonna take that Minho?" Asked Yoona.

"Whadda ya thinks?" Minho scrambled to his feet. "When Minho wants somethin', Minho takes it. And Minho wants the pretty girl." Seeing it on Mai so many times, Azula recognized the quick flash of a blade sliding from a sleeve to a hand.

A circle of bodies came to surround the pair. Azula felt sick all over again. She was still so drained and her head still pounded. In that regard, Minho already had the upper hand. Fire also wasn't an option, it's blue hue would be a dead giveaway. The last thing she needed was for a bunch of junkies, to figure out that their princess was one of them. If they knew, the whole of Capital City would. She supposed she'd rather have a blade between her ribs than that. Lightning was once again, the only thing she had at her disposal, but a truly effective blow wasn't exactly the quickest thing to generate.

She gave the circle a quick scan, her eyes falling upon a particularly scrawny boy with extremely poor posture. She'd move towards him, take a good shot at him, and make her escape. Not moving her eyes from Minho, she edged in that direction.

From behind, Chan cleared his throat. "I don't know about the rest of you, but our little band could use some funding. What do you say, you let me get that money?" It wasn't a question and the group knew it. Reluctantly they backed away. None of them regained their seats and Minho eyed her with a possessive fury.

Chan sauntered up to Azula. "Nice haircut." He gave it a quick ruffle. "It suits you." Though she disagreed indefinitely, she assessed that his compliment was sincere. And then to Minho he spoke, "you think she's beautiful now, you should have seen her with long hair." He held his hand level to where her hair used to fall. He addressed Azula again, quieter, "he has a thing for hair, the longer the better."

"I'll be sure to chop the rest of it off when I get home." Azula grumbled. Chan chuckled. She came closer to him. "I have some spare gold, you might get some of it if you see me out of here safely after we're done."

Chan thought for a moment. "Done. But only because you're a pretty steady source of income," and quitter than even before he added, "princess." He took a sack of Ruby Tears from his pocket. "Though I would like an extra coin for keeping your title to myself."

"Fine, whatever." She replied seeing no way around it for the time being. "Just give me the Dragon Dust." Even if it cost her, her dealer she'd refuse payment when she was safely away from the Ash Pit and could remind him that she could spill the location of his gang just as fast as he could out her for being who she was. She could lie her way out of the rest. Again she found herself reassured that she had not lost her cunning completely. It was a sublime feeling.

"Ooo," Yoko cocked his head. "She know the street names."

Ignoring him, Chan replied, "pay up."

She drew out the coins he'd initially demanded and tucked the rest away. She didn't let go of them until he let go of the Ruby Tears. And in her ear he whispered, "a pleasure doing business with you again, princess." She felt his hand on her lower back, a sensation she never imagined she'd feel again. For a moment, she thought she'd feel his lips on her neck, but he pulled back. "You lot stay put and don't stir up anything I won't be able to fix. I have to show this one home."

.oOo.

The dawn was just breaking and Azula was shaking all over by the time she found herself back in her room.

It had taken all of her valor to not give Chan such a display. Admittedly, he did lighten the stress some. With his gang a good distance behind him, he dropped his tough bravado some. They didn't talk much at all, but it made her feel better to know she had someone to watch her back for her. And in the end he only asked for a single extra coin, "just to have something to show the boys, ya know?"

The princess dropped onto her bed, the hardships of the night bombarding her in full. She was long overdue for a sniff of Ruby Tears. And she would have it after a quick nap.