A/N: I've gotta say, I'm happy I've got another chapter posted while I'm still on break. Go me! Anyways, read and let me know what you think! I'm finally getting the momentum of this story down and next chapter, well...no spoilers ahead, but I'm excited for it. Happy New Year everyone!
Chapter Nine: Picking Up the Pieces
3 months later…
The fire cackled and spit in the fireplace. Simran sat in her loveseat and watched in fascination. She had never been one to meditate on something so insignificant, yet it had seemed one of those times where the reality of her situation and all that had occurred prior to this very moment. The trance of watching the flames calmed her erratic mind.
It didn't seem real, she vaguely thought. It didn't seem that such a small event that should've had led to a simple recovery and life could move on as it had always been, but it did. The accident that was now nearly 5 months ago had affected not only her life, but the lives of her entire family.
It had seemed strange that coming home the following day after her fight with Raj that he had been true to his word – all his belongings were gone. Nearly every trace of him, except the pictures, had vanished in a single evening. For some reason, Simran decided to check if Raj had left his mandolin. To her shock, it was gone too. The last piece of their summer when they had met and fallen in love now gone. She didn't have any more tears to cry. It had all been used up in that single night when her whole world came crashing down. Instead, she took a deep, collective breath and decided to continue with her life.
While she was able to resume her classes, her students giving her the breath of fresh air she realized she needed, it was the times she had to come home the reality and the boulder she didn't realize she was carrying was becoming more and more weighted down on her. Her son, Rohan, had become distant and was hardly home. Her daughter, Anjali, was aloof and spent more time in her room than ever before. While they did come together for dinner and tried to have a semblance of a conversation, there was a vital piece missing and they all knew that.
But on this evening, Simran knew that she had to broach a subject neither of her children were expecting.
It was a subject they all quietly concluded to not discuss about, but the situation became real every time the three of them came together for dinner. Rohan itched to tell Simran about Raj and Anjali yearned to hear something from Rohan about him. She knew Rohan was spending a lot of time with their father; going to see him on weekends to see how he was holding up and how he was handling the transition. She marveled at Rohan's audacity to do such a thing. When she pressed him to talk about it during their weekly lunch's together, he flat out told her that he was his father's son, and this was something he felt he had to do.
"I don't want him to feel alone in all this," he explained to Anjali. "I can't imagine what it's like losing yourself and all the memories of your life. But he should know that we are there for him."
"How is he, though?" she quickly asked, needing to hear some good news.
Rohan stared out to the distance, contemplating on how to word what he was about to tell her. "He seems like…like he found something. A missing piece to this puzzle and he's not sure where he can find those other pieces, you know?"
Anjali gazed at her younger brother, unsure what he exactly meant by that statement, but it was enough to satisfy her that maybe all wasn't exactly lost.
However, on this night, Rohan decided it was time to broach the subject he knew his mother did not want to discuss today.
"I saw Papa today," he began.
Simran flinched and nearly dropped her fork. She slightly gasped and quickly recovered herself, schooling her shocked expression into one of coolness. She grabbed her glass of wine and took a few deep gulps of the dryness of the beverage, bracing herself for whatever she was about to hear.
"Oh?" she finally responded. "And?"
"He seems well," Rohan replied. "He's been adjusting in his new place and it's not too bad. The flat seems like a good start for him and it's close by to the office, too."
Simran carefully watched Rohan, attempting to sense if there was anything else he was withholding from her. Had he been seeing his therapist? Or had he moved on to his new conquest? What were his days like? Or, better yet, what were his nights like? No, she thought, internally shaking her head, this will not do. She promised herself to move on, to not think about him or anything regarding Raj ever again.
Rohan carefully watched Simran, wondering what was going through her head. He had hoped that maybe this could be a start, a start to lead them back together and possibly mend their relationship. If the memories were lost, then at least they could start fresh and build new ones, right? He knew how deep and powerful love could be just by watching his parents and hearing the story of how they came together countless times from everyone in their family. He hoped that this could led to that.
"I was wondering," he carefully began. "If it's possible, to maybe have him over for dinner. Then we can – "
"There's something I should tell you two," Simran intervened, diligently deflecting the topic of the conversation and Rohan's suggestion. She knew what Rohan and Anjali wanted, but this was something she needed to tell them. Something they both should know. "You know my colleague, Dr. Sameer Mukerji?"
Anjali raised a brow, curious to know where her mother was going with this. "Yes."
"Well, he uh…he um…we have been not only colleagues but good friends for a long time," she began.
Rohan's eyes widen for what Simran was about to reveal. No, he quickly thought, this isn't happening. This isn't how things were supposed to happen. Not to them, ever.
"Okay, and?" he quickly said, agitated on how this conversation was progressing.
Simran took a deep breath, knowing how much this was going to hurt them but it was time. It was time to move on and find her place again. "He asked me out and – "
"And you said 'yes'!" Rohan exclaimed.
"Rohan!" Simran cried out, surprised at him.
"No, don't! You know how much that man has liked you. Papa has always said so, always saying that the man has had some kind of high school crush on you. And you go ahead and do this? You go ahead and betray Papa like that?" he pointed out.
"Betray him?" Simran cried out, standing up and facing her son directly. "Your father was the one who betrayed all of us! He was the one that stopped trying, that lied to me and went ahead and started developing feelings for that damn therapist! I'm the one that is betraying this family?! I am trying to pick up the pieces of my life after everything that has happened to us, to me, to our entire family. And it's time," she emphasized, sighing, reigning in her anger. "It's time we move on. It's time we pick up the pieces and learn to live in our new dynamic. Your father will always be a part of our lives, yes, but it must be this way, guys.
"I'm sorry," she emphatically stated. "But I can't be alone and let the memories of what your father and I had be the only thing that keeps me moving in this life. I have to let go and move on. I have to build a life for myself. Even if it's a new one."
She placed her napkin on the table and left without another word towards her bedroom and shut the door behind her. The small, resounding click of the door the final piece of decision now solidified into reality.
Anjali let a tear slid down her cheek, quickly wiping it away with her fingertips. She watched Rohan's jaw tightened, still seething with anger and disappointment before finally throwing his napkin on the table, standing up and gruffly walking away from the table towards the front door and slamming it shut behind him. She had no idea where he was going, but she knew he had to get away and think.
Now, Simran sat in front of her fireplace in her bedroom. A decorative piece that added a romantic effect in the bedroom that today seemed insignificant. A memory came to her when she first saw the fireplace and asked Raj if it still worked. When he answered no, she slightly pouted her bottom lip. Raj caught the small expression and soon asked if there was something wrong.
"It's just that, well…" she gulped, her heart racing against her chest about to reveal something to him that she's never spoken to anyone about. "I've – I've always had this fantasy…"
"What kind of fantasy?" Raj asked.
"Of you…and me…in front of the fireplace…" she looked up to see his reaction and found him initially darting his eyes back and forth, trying to assess what she was saying before finally smirking at her. Within the next twenty-four hours, the fireplace was fixed and running, heating up the bedroom on a chilly night. That same evening, they made love on the floor with sheets and pillows strewn about before Raj finally winced from pain, breaking the mood. When she asked what was wrong, he had to sheepishly give in and tell her his back was hurting from lying on the floor for so long and his knees were starting to chafe. Simran belted out in laughter from the whole scene and shook her head at him before asking him if he wanted to go on the bed instead.
"Yes, please!" he said in relief before finishing what they started.
Simran smirked and shook her head at the memory, but deeply sighed, trying to focus on her current situation and all that was revealed this evening.
She knew she made the right decision by telling the kids this evening. After all, she had been thinking about it for the past few days when Sameer had approached her about it.
"Take all the time you need," he emphasized to her when he made the offer. "I know you're still mourning a marriage that you knew was going to last a lifetime. But just know I'm here and I want to take care of you."
A small tear escaped the corner of her eye. She wiped it away with the back of her hand, thinking back to Sameer's words knowing he was right. He would take care of her and love her, and she would accept it and welcome it, but deep down she knew it wouldn't be the same.
A small knock came from her door, she turned to find it opening and Anjali's head popped in before stepping in. She walked towards Simran and sat beside her in the small space available on the loveseat. Simran embraced her daughter in her arms, welcoming the distraction.
"So, when is the first date?" Anjali asked, biting her bottom lip, doing everything she could to prevent a breakdown in front of her.
Simran chuckled and smirked. "Not for a while," she responded.
Anjali raised a brow, not sure what she meant. She sat up straighter and looked to Simran, attempting to understand what she was trying to say. "What do you mean, 'not for a while'?"
"I won't be going out with Sameer until I get back." She stated.
"Get back? Get back from where? Mama, what are you talking about? You're not making any sense."
Simran sighed. "I won't be going out with him until I get back from my trip. I need to close a chapter in my life before I can turn the pages to a new one. To do that, I need to go away and be sure I can do just that."
"And where will you be going?"
Simran looked back to the fireplace, the last of the wood now turning to dust as the final flicker faded into a smooth stream of smoke.
"Switzerland," she replied.
Raj grunted the final push-up before finally succumbing to exhaustion. He heavily sighed in relief, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the towel before getting up from the floor and grabbing a cup of ice cool water. The workout was necessary, using it to release his frustrations from work and the lackluster life he was now living.
After shacking up in a hotel in the middle of London for a few days, Raj finally found a flat near the office building, so he was always close by if there were any emergencies. He took a liking to the large windows all around the living room, seeing the skyline of London and all its glory. While it provided with a small kitchen, useful for the simple meals he preferred, a bed big and roomy enough for him, he knew there was very little life in it.
He recalled Rohan had a made a remark that there were no pictures, but quickly realized why. Raj lightly laughed and patted his son on the back, assuring him all was alright.
"Don't worry so much about what you want to say," he remarked. "I'm still your dad and I want to hear your thoughts regardless of my current situation."
He was grateful his son made the effort to come by every weekend and spend time with him. Although the memories were still an issue, he could see Rohan was trying and did not want to lose the connection they have as father and son. Something Raj was still trying to work on internally, but there was definitely progress he could sense. While he wouldn't admit it to Rohan, he had missed seeing Anjali. He knew how hard the accident and memory loss was on her, but he knew, deep down, that she was a breath of fresh air for him. The light of his life, he'd like to think.
And so, his days were filled with a routine. Wake up early morning for a jog around the neighborhood, shower, and head into the office with his secretary already prepped his morning breakfast of coffee and an egg sandwich from a local café nearby he liked. Work throughout the day and evening until the dusk settled across the sky, then head to the apartment building gym and work himself out until it was time to eat dinner and pass out. It was a simple routine that got him through nights. Since, at night, it was always the worst for him.
Raj had begun having dreams – some were dreams, others were nightmares he couldn't shake. There were times the dreams were just collections of colors and fabrics; pastel green lehenga, a white salwar kameez being swept in a breeze, a tear of fabric from a blouse, or the one that shook him to his core – a golden skirt with finely knitted designs brightly shining and running along with a train.
Each time he had a dream, he'd wake up in a pool of sweat, heart racing, unsure what was happening to him before he had to remind himself of where he was. Then the cycle would start over again. Not only was the busy schedule for the evenings, but it helped get his mind off the one person he had trouble shaking – Simran. He knew he hurt her in ways she had never experienced before, and it tore him that he was the cause of it. Yet, he couldn't shake the gaze she gave him at their final meeting, how she looked at him with disdain and heartbreak. Then there was the funny feeling he had experienced when all was finally said and done, and why his own heart and mind began to race with anxiety and sadness. Shaking his head at the thought, he pushed himself to move on and knew that their separation was the best thing for them.
While he had become increasingly busy, he decided as soon as he moved in to his new place that his so-called relationship with his therapist, Nandini, must end. He never gave her specifics as he had an inclination she knew why, but he quietly stepped aside and had not contacted her since he left his home all those months ago.
Today, though, as he began blending his smoothie, wondering what he should do on a Sunday morning with no important emails, phone calls or meetings to go to, his day was free.
Just as he was about to press the push button to blend, his doorbell caught his attention, loudly chiming throughout his entire space. Curious as to who was at the door, Raj walked over and opened it and, to his surprise, found Anjali at his doorstep. His eyes briefly widened, shocked to see her, before softly smiling, glad she had finally come by to visit him.
"Anjali," he said, stepping away to let her in. "It's good to see you."
Anjali tentatively stepped inside her father's new home and found it very spacious. Rohan was not kidding, she wryly thought, there was hardly any pictures. Just a large black leather couch with a flat screen T.V. hung on the wall opposite and large windows showcasing the view of the city. It was cold and lifeless inside, just as Rohan had described it to her.
"So," Raj began, coaxing Anjali's attention. "What brings you by today?"
"Oh! I was…well," she cleared her throat. "I was hoping to see you and catch up. I know it's been a while..."
Raj smiled. "Yes, it has been. How are things? How is school going?" He figured to start lightly, avoiding any and all conversation about her and wondering how she had been handling their situation.
Raj motioned for Anjali to take a seat on the couch as he grabbed his smoothie and sat down with her. Anjali regaled him of her studies and how she hopes to pursue a business degree as teaching was not something she had her heart set on, but enjoyed taking the literature courses.
When she asked how Raj was doing, initially he was going to regale her about his day-to-day activities. Instead, he found himself shrugging and looking out to the distant skyline.
Anjali slightly tilted her head to the side, assessing what her father was thinking before she decided to carefully step into the taboo subject at the moment.
"She misses you, you know," she softly began.
Raj scoffed. "She misses the idea of me, the old me. She doesn't want this," he stated, waving his hand over himself.
"Maybe, but I know Mama, and I know how much she still loves you, and that the thought of not being with you is slowly hurting her inside. She may not say much, but Rohan and I can tell. She's been like a ghost at home. Only talking when necessary," she explained.
He shrugged in response. "There's nothing I can do at this point to change it. What's done is done." He simply said with finality.
Maybe, Anjali internally figured, or maybe not. She shook her head, deciding this possibly wasn't the best time to bring up the subject of Simran soon wanting to date other men and possibly begin the preparation of divorce proceedings. Instead, she decided to bring up the subject of work.
"I hope Grandpops hasn't been working you too hard," she said noting the few specks of gray hair on his disheveled hair.
He chuckled. "No, there's always something going on. But he did mention to me recently that I should take a break."
Anjali slightly perked up at this. "A break? You mean, like a vacation?"
"Something of that nature. He says I've been working too hard and with the speed I'm going I could get a heart attack before I turn 60."
"I think it's a great idea!" she suddenly happily exclaimed, excited now about a possible idea forming in her head.
Raj raised a brow, curious about her now happy demeanor. While he liked seeing her like this, he did find it strange at the same time.
"I mean, you – you need to relax a bit. We don't want you having to go to the hospital again, right?" she quickly responded in one breath, hoping that was the best save she could think of.
Raj curiously watched her, wondering what was running through her head before receding. "Right," he slowly responded, nodding his head in agreement.
"Right, well I've got to get going," she said, quickly standing up before giving Raj a quick peck on the cheek. "I'll stop by again this week for lunch, maybe? What do you think?"
"Uh yeah…sure," Raj replied, unsure. He furrowed his brow, now really curious as to this strange behavior and what she was thinking.
"Perfect! I'll text you and we'll make plans. Bye!" she cried out, practically running out the door. If what she was thinking was surely a plan then she had to run it by the one person she knew would tell her that it was either insane, or the best thing she has ever come up.
Quickly scrolling through her contacts as she took the elevator, she pressed on the name she wanted, letting it ring, waiting for the man to pick up.
"Hello?"
"Rohan! It's Anjali."
"I know it's you, Anjali. They didn't invent caller ID's for no reason, you know?" he retorted.
Anjali rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Listen, I've the most brilliant of brilliant ideas!" she excitedly said.
"Oh yeah? And what's that?"
"I know how we can get Mama and Papa back together again."
