CHAPTER NINE

PART 1: TROUBLESOME GIRLS

"Huh, is it a girl," Kushina asked when she walked into the room. It was a few hours after Mikoto had given birth and been moved into a new room. The group that had been in the waiting room had rushed in as soon as they were given the okay.

"No it's a boy. I thought I already told you that," Mikoto said calmly.

"Oh, well I thought Tsunade was wrong. He does look a little girly," the redhead continued looking over the baby boy with critical eyes. "But then again Minato was really girly and he turned out alright." Minato hung his head, and Kakashi patted his back. "What's his name?"

"Sasuke," the black haired woman said as she looked down at her son.

"That's the name of the Sandaime's father," Minato pointed out, coming out of his moment of depression and standing behind his wife.

"Yes, and I'm sure he'll become a fine shinobi one day," the Uchiha woman hoped.

"Oh Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun will be in the same grade," Kushina stated. "I hope they become friends, dattebane." She then leaned forward and placed a hand on the side of her mouth to whisper into her friend's ear. "By the way… does it hurt? Like bad?"

"Well, well, even you're afraid of something. I'll be," Mikoto joked in shock with a smug look on her face.

"Miko-chan, don't mock me," Kushina complained. "I needs ta know, dattebane!"

"Only a little," the woman stated. Fugaku gave a snort at his wife's answer, and discreetly motioned to Minato that it was all a lie, and showed the blonde man his bandaged hand.

Mikoto rested on her bed with her newborn baby held securely in her arms. Itachi and Kim both sat in front of their mother inspecting their new baby brother. Sasuke blinked at his older siblings not really understanding anything that was going on. The baby just grabbed at their hands when they were within his reach.

"Look Kimi-chan, Itachi-kun he likes you," Mikoto said to the little girl.

"Can we keep him," Kimi asked innocently causing the adults in the room to laugh. Her face turned as red as her favorite fruit, which just so happened to be cherries.

"Of course we're keeping him," Fugaku answered his daughter's question.

XxX

A month had passed since the arrival of the newest member of the Uchiha clan, and there were only two months left until the birth of the Hokage's first child. Like all newborn babies Uchiha Sasuke did not sleep the whole night and needed to be fed, and have his diaper changed at odd intervals throughout the entire day. Caring for her newborn son took up most of Mikoto's time, and new cases arriving at the Police Force kept Fugaku busy. Itachi had been by training alone in preparation for when he would start the Academy the following year. Kakashi was always out on some ANBU mission. Minato and Kushina had been kept busy by making accommodations for the arrival of their son, and Minato was in the middle of drawing up a peace treaty with the Kazekage.

Kim, on the other hand, was mostly on her own. Itachi would play with her every so often, but she would grow bored when all the other children within the clan would avoid her like the plague and the fact that she was not allowed to leave the District on her own. She loved her new baby brother, but she just wished he were old enough to play with her.

She sighed and dropped her head in her hands where her arms were propped up on her knees.

"Why the long face squirt," a familiar voice called out to the girl. Her onyx eyes snapped open to find Shisui's face barely an inch away from her own. She gave a squeak and fell back wards on the porch. "Ha-ha, sorry kid, didn't mean to scare you." The older Uchiha boy gave her an apologetic smile as he helped her back into her sitting position. He then plopped down beside her and gave her a curious look. "So what's got you so down?"

"I'm bowed," she replied quietly. Her shoulders slumped as she said, "No one has time to play with me. Mommy has to take cawe of Sasuke-kun, Daddy is busy at wowk, Kashi-kun has missions, and Aunty Kushina and Mina-sensei have to get weady fow Nawuto-kun, and then all the other kids awe being jewks."

"Oh I see," Shisui said rubbing his chin in thought. He got up suddenly and walked away.

"Not even Shisui-nii-chan wants to play with me," the little dark haired girl sulked as she threw herself backwards into a lying position. She swung her feet back and forth as she closed her eyes. Her nose twitched when she felt something furry brush against it. At first she ignored it, but then the furry thing would not go away. "Wha-"

"Kim-chan meet Blaze," Shisui stated as held up tiny black kitten in his hands. "I was going to keep him, but I have missions. So I was thinking, maybe you could take care of him for me." He smiled as the girl continued to stare at the kitten. "You know, he says he wants to be a ninja too, so maybe the two of you can train together."

"Weally we can twain togethew," Kimi said excitedly.

"Yeah, and we'll be the bestest team ever," Blaze shouted as he jumped down from Shisui's hands and landed beside the girl.

"Let's go right now," Kim yelled over her shoulder as she made her way in the direction of her secret garden.

"The cat talks," Shisui muttered. "Since when does the cat talk? This must be that Uchiha Madness Tou-san told me about… or was it Sharingan Madness. I need a nap." He then made his way back home picking up his book bag as he went. The nine year old walked the rest of the way home in a daze.

XxX

"Hi Old Man," the innocent three year old shouted as she caught sight of the self-proclaimed Super Pervert. Said Super Pervert was bent over at the waist with one – wide – eye was looking through a hole that he had made in the tall wooden fence the surrounded Konoha's hot springs. "Awe you peeping on the pwetty giwls?"

At the young child's proclamation, the women on the other side of the fence began to shriek in horror at the news. Sandals, buckets, scrub brushes, and just about anything the women could get their hands on sailed over the tall fence, pelting the white haired sage with pinpoint accuracy. On the other hand, the white haired sage used his arms to shield his face from the worst of the onslaught while trying to scowl at the black haired girl. When the shower of bath items came to halt the Sage let out a triumphant smirk. As he was making his way in the direction of the three year old, a delayed sandal made its over the fence nailing the man in the head and knocking him off his feet. He landed in a heap on the ground.

"Brat where are your parents," the white haired man questioned giving the small girl a glare which he gave up on since it didn't seem to affect the child. Damn them Uchiha!

"You truly are an imbecile Jiraiya," a raspy voice stated in a bored tone as the owner of said voice walked to stand beside the fallen man. "It's quite embarrassing that you can't seem to scare off a toddler."

The only thing Jiraiya could see of the newcomer was his feet, but just from his voice alone, he knew exactly who it was. "What do you want Orochimaru?" he growled out as he used his arms to push himself up to his feet.

"Nothing really," the pale man replied, "Just out on a stroll."

"What happened to that student of yours," the Toad Sannin questioned.

"Anko has once again taken up residence at the dango shop," Orochimaru stated. The second his purple haired student parked her behind at one of the many tables in the dango shop he had fled the premises. The last time he had indulged the teenage girl he had been stuck with the bill that had cost him almost as much as the pay for the standard A-ranked mission.

He let his gaze wander from his fool of a teammate to the little girl that seemed to be causing the idiot a bit of trouble. As soon as his gaze landed on her his eyes widened, but he quickly regained his composure. A grin worked its way onto his face as he bid his departure.

"Is she your girlfriend," the littlest Uchiha asked the mountain of a man that stood beside her.

"He's not my girlfriend," Jiraiya said distractedly.

"She was pretty."

It took a few minutes before what the girl had just said to sink in. When it sunk in the white haired Toad Sannin doubled over in laughter. "Y-y-y-ou think that that b-ba-bastard is a-a-a girl!" His chuckles shook his entire form causing his shoulders to shake uncontrollably. When he finally calmed down enough to form coherent sentences, he told the girl, "I really like you, kid. Do you like ice cream? Cake or anything like that? You know what? It doesn't even matter. I going to buy you all the sweets you can eat."

"Yesssssss!" Kimi shouted jumping up and down at the prospect of all-you-can-eat sweets.

XxX

"Hey Kimi, do you want to help me with something," Kushina asked the girl sweetly.

Suwe," the Uchiha answered excitedly. Her eyes were wide and slightly dilated. She was still experiencing her first sugar high. Jiraiya had kept his promise and had taken her to the candy store letting her run wild. Her little hands had grabbed had just about everything within reach and then some. He then took her home and helped her hide the majority of it before leaving.

"Alright," the woman exclaimed with a mischievous grin on her face. "But first, let's go play dress up!" She then grabbed the little girl's hand and led her to her bedroom. Once inside Kim's bedroom Kushina began to search for the perfect outfit for the little girl. She pulled out multiple dresses form the closet before deciding on one. She found a pair of the young girl's shoes that matched perfectly with the dress. Before getting her dressed, the Uzumaki fixed her hair and did her make-up. After examining the girl, she beamed, and led her to the Hokage's office. Standing before the door to the office Kushina crouched down, with great difficulty thanks to her over inflated belly, to the Uchiha girl's height. "Okay Kimi, this is what I need you to do…" she whispered her plan into the three-year-old girl's ear.

Kimi ran through the door to the office after Kushina had held it open for her yelling, "Look daddy, I look like a pwincess!" She gave a little twirl allowing the skirt of her white dress to flare up. The short heels on her sandals clacked on the hardwood flooring as she ran to give the quiet white haired boy a hug. "Now me and Kashi-kun can get mawwied."

Fugaku choked on his spit and stared wide eyed at his daughter. He could not believe the words that had come out of his sweet and innocent little girl's mouth. It had to be a joke, some type of prank, or was he being filmed by one of those stupid TV shows and someone was going to jump out and say "Gotcha!" As the head of the Uchiha Clan and the Captain of the Konoha's Military Police Force, Fugaku rarely ever lost his composure and had amazing restraint, but all that was violently lifted and thrown out the window when his little girl planted a kiss on the Hatake's cheek.

Without thinking, the Uchiha lunged at the young white haired boy, and Kakashi had every right to look frightened. Minato jumped in front of Kakashi trying to shield him from the dark haired man, although he was struggling. The two men froze when they hears laughter coming from the other side of the door.

"Ah Kimi-chan, that was amazing," Kushina praised as she walked into the room not even bothering to hide her amusement. She gave a teasing grin to Fugaku. "Who knew daddy could be so protective of his little girl? Well Fuga-chan," said man scowled at the nickname, "I feel sorry for you when she starts taking a real interest in boys."

"Kushina," the woman's husband groaned. As the redhead entered her last two months of her pregnancy, she had taken her hobby of pranking people to a completely new level stating that she would not have much time to pull pranks once she gave birth. No one was truly safe from the red haired Jinchuriki. Just that week she had put miniature explosive seals in his breakfast, wrote 'FLASHER" in bright yellow paint across his forehead on the Hokage Monument, dyed Kakashi's hair red and tried to pass him off as her son, stole Mikoto's bras and shortened her dresses, told Itachi he could not keep his siblings, and that was only the beginning. The only person who had not been pranked was Kimi, and that was only because the two year old was helping her. The worst part of it all was that it was only Tuesday.

"Yes Flasher," the red haired woman said innocently while rubbing her stomach in a soothing manner. She smiled widely when she felt Naruto kick.

"Don't call me that," Minato complained.

"Don't whine," Kushina snapped.

"I never really liked you much, but I do hope my daughter ends up like you and Mikoto," Fugaku said to the redhead. He really hoped that his daughter would intimidate any possible suitors into submission or just scare them off.

"I never liked you either," she waved off, "I only put up with you for Mikoto's sake."

"Sensei I think Hell just froze over," Kakashi commented. As far as anyone knew, Fugaku and Kushina could never agree on anything. The two would always argue to prove their point, even over the most trivial matters.

"Not really. It's common knowledge that they don't like each other," Minato reassured his student.

"Let's go Kimi-chan," Kushina called out to the young girl. "We've got some Academy students to prank!" With that, the two girls left the room.

"She's only two years old, and she's already more trouble than she's worth," Kakashi muttered before he leapt out of the window to prepare for a mission.

"Ah, Kakashi-kun the best ones always are," Minato stated as he watched the white haired boy run over the rooftops to get back to his apartment. 'You'll be singing a different tune one day." The blonde Hokage felt a prickle on the back of his neck. He turned his head to come face to with a glaring Fugaku. "W-What?"

"Don't encourage him," Fugaku growled.

"Why not Kakashi's a good kid," the Hokage retorted with a raised eyebrow.

"He's much too old for her."

"Aren't you like five years older than Mikoto?" Fugaku glared harder, and Minato gave a smirk. "She could do a lot worse than Kakashi. I mean, she could fall for someone like Genma or Gai."

"It's not our decision who she loves," Fugaku said with a smirk as he walked towards the door. Minato's smug smirk fell.

"Stupid Uchiha, always have to get the last word," he grumbled. To make matters worse a Chunin had walked in after Fugaku had left to drop off a stack of paperwork almost as tall as he was. He picked up the first file off the top of the stack and began to read it. He read the summary on the first page.

The first file was from Shikaku sating that all the Nara's deer had gone missing. He quickly set the file down to pull out another one from the pile.

How did they get lost? I though they lived in the forest, maybe their hiding or something.

The second file was from Hyuuga Hiashi stating that the Hyuuga Compounds had been invaded by rampaging deer.

Shikaku, I found your missing deer, Minato thought. I wonder how they got there. Realization suddenly dawned on him and he released a sigh.

The third file was from Choza saying that someone had delivered fake flyers stating that a new all-you-can-eat restaurant had recently opened up, and when they got there, it was just an empty warehouse.

Of course, it would be empty.

The fourth file was from Tsume. She wrote that someone had set off multiple stink bombs within the Inuzuka grounds, causing many of the Inuzuka to pass out from the strong odor and require medical attention.

I hope Kakashi wasn't caught in that.

The fifth file was from – Minato had to reread the name multiple times before he got it – Shibi alerting him that many of the Aburame's bugs had gone missing.

I'm sure I'll find them…

The sixth file was from Inoichi. Apparently, someone had switched their weed killer for sugar water, and they were having a bug infestation problem.

I found them – what was his name again?

The seventh file was from the Academy. Some students reported that the bathrooms were haunted by a red monster and a little ghost.

I wonder who the red monster and the little ghost are, he though dryly.

The eighth file was a bill from the Ichiraku Ramen shop.

At least they're eating and taking breaks.

The ninth file was oddly enough from Fugaku. He informed the blonde Hokage that his wife somehow managed to sneak into the Uchiha District and cover all the members of his clan in glitter and the proceeded to call them vampires.

Ah Fugaku, you may have gotten the last word but I got the last laugh.