Sounds good to me.
It's about time Kenji helps me out with something after all those favors I've done for him. Not to mention that he still owes me money - and no, the damn grape juice I spat all over that book in the library doesn't make us even.
The only question is how I should go about it. Kenji thinks he's the leader of some underground resistance movement, even if that movement is no bigger than the current Student Council. Getting him to follow my lead won't be straightforward… but it's not impossible either.
I fold my arms, trying to appear like I'm deep in thought. It may be pointless, but I can never tell how much he actually sees from me in situations like this.
"Anyway, guns or no guns, I have to agree with you on one thing: this council election is bad news."
I wait for his reply, but he simply stands there without moving a muscle or saying a word. What the hell…?
"Stopping it is probably our best bet, if we can pull it off somehow," I continue. "But how can we do that? Got any ideas…?"
Still nothing.
I swear, if Kenji is messing with me or just refuses to move because of some crap like hiding from feminist motion-sensing robots, I'm going to do something I'll regret.
After several seconds of silent staring, he finally chooses to furrow his brows with suspicion. "…Is everything alright, man?"
Eh?
"What do you mean 'is everything alright'…?"
"You started acting strangely all of a sudden," he states in an amazingly calm voice. "Most of the time you don't really agree with me like this… or even if you do, you sound like you don't. That's not a bad thing, dude. I've gotten used to it. I mean, you're the voice of doubt in the Resistance. The guy who keeps me on my toes. I am the Ying and you're the Yang. We complement each other like two sides of the same sandwich. You don't have to throw that away."
Now it's my turn to stare at him, completely dumbstruck.
Damn it Kenji, why do you have to choose this moment to become unusually perceptive out of the blue?
Or… was he like this from the start, and only played the fool to lull the feminists into a false sense of security…?
Oh no. This is bad. I can't believe I seriously considered that for a second. I simply cannot handle Kenji in my current stressed-out mental state; I have to put an end to this conversation before he drives me insane.
"Come on, you're overthinking things," I tell him, trying to keep my voice calm. "I just said I want to help you battle against this conspiracy or whatever. That's a good thing, isn't it? So why don't we skip this pointless argument and get back on topic here? "
Kenji still doesn't look convinced. Damn him.
"Dunno, man. My mom always told me that if something sounds too good to be true, it's probably going to eat you. Don't get me wrong, you're cool and all, and I don't think the feminists in the Student Council actually turned you into a cannibal, but… well, I don't know."
…
All right, I'm done being subtle.
"Oh, cut the crap already!" I yell, grabbing him by the collar this time. "Do you want to stop the elections or not?!"
"Whoa, Hisao, wait! This isn't you! You got to fight it, man! Fight the brainwashing! It's not a good idea to eat your fellow freedom fighter, remember?"
I fight back the urge to strangle him. "Yes or no?!"
For a second, it looks like Kenji will launch into another tirade, but then his expression abruptly becomes calm, as if something clicked into place in his mind.
"Hey, of course I want to stop the elections. Wasn't that obvious?"
Deep breaths. Deep… breaths….
"Fine. Then it's decided, you're going to help me," I state in a voice that sounds more like a low growl. "I'll talk to you later so we can work out the details. Don't make any plans for Friday."
It takes every last bit of my remaining willpower to wait for Kenji's hesitant nod, after which I flee to my room and collapse on the bed.
I dread our next meeting already.
9. Blame
Music track: Moment of Decision
The next day, I visited Misha in the hospital again after school.
It was a short and not at all pleasant visit. I had already been nervous about the hospital earlier, but now the familiarity of her surroundings began to haunt me in whole new, utterly terrifying way.
For all intents and purposes, she had become me, and I had become Iwanako.
It was the same thing happening all over again: we've spent most of our time sitting in silence, and when I could not take it anymore, I simply stood up and left. Just like Iwanako did back then.
But what should I have said? That Shizune is running away from everyone and everything, and chances are they'll never meet each other again? Or should I have mentioned the little goodbye present I was planning to give her beloved Shicchan, to properly "thank her" for everything she had done for us?
Because no matter how badly she'd like to think otherwise, the truth is obvious: Shicchan doesn't give a shit. About her, about me, or about anyone else.
Still, I couldn't bring myself to say any such thing. Misha looked depressed as is, almost like something broke in her the moment I stepped out of her hospital room on that previous Sunday evening. Her sullen mood felt just as unexpected, and just as impossible for me to comprehend as her earlier insistence to turn Shizune around no matter what. I did not want to make things even worse, so I remained quiet - while at the same time, I felt like a coward who comes up with excuses only to cover his own weakness.
Waiting for me back in my dorm room was a similarly unpleasant task: to go over the battle plan with Kenji.
I did not sleep much last night, feeling compelled to lie awake in bed and think. In the end, I managed to come up with something that will likely work, but chances are I'll need his help with it. Thank heavens for small mercies, I was able to make him understand most of what I had in mind without needing to repeat myself.
We finished much earlier than expected, actually. It's still an hour before curfew.
"And that's all there is to it. Got any questions, or can we call it a day?"
"You sure you're okay, man?" Kenji speaks up as I put a bag full of colorful balloons back into the desk drawer.
I run a hand through my hair irritably. "Why do you keep asking me this?"
"Because you keep acting like you're not, duh." He gives an annoying shrug. "You shouldn't let all this stuff get to you, Hisao. You have no chance of defeating the enemy around you if you can't face the enemy within. Like that month-old takoyaki I ate once. I'm not kidding, it nearly killed me for real."
I really hope he was trying to make a joke. In any case, it wasn't funny. "Just mind your own business, Kenji."
My words make him inexplicably pleased for some reason. "Oh, thanks for reminding me: I wanted to give you this."
He reaches into his pocket, pulls out a dirty, battered mobile phone and puts it on my desk. Looking like it may fall apart by itself in any given moment, it's a small miracle that it still appears to be working.
"What do you want me to do with this…?"
"Check out the video on the memory card. I've brought you a nice piece of intel," he says, looking very proud of himself. "I'd never take the risk of making a call, but I did use the phone to gather some evidence last year. You have no idea about the horrors I uncovered. There was some sick, sick shit on this phone, man… I had to delete most of it because of a security breach, but there's still a file left that may be useful to you."
I highly doubt that.
"Okay, whatever, thanks. Good night."
To my relief, Kenji seems to take the hint for once and leaves. I stare at the phone's cracked screen; the clock had been set to Greenwich Mean Time for some odd reason.
Eh, what can I lose?
I browse through the folders of the device in the file manager. Kenji wasn't joking, the phone had been wiped clean almost completely. There are no contacts, no text messages, no pictures, no installed programs, nothing. Only one medium-sized file in the "Videos" folder.
Pressing "down" once, I select it - and then hesitantly push the "OK" button in the middle.
Music track: Concord
I see a couple of bushes. They're very close to the camera, as if the person holding the phone is trying to hide behind them. From the lighting, I assume it has to be sometime late in the afternoon.
I can make out a faint but very familiar voice. "Err… um… what are you doing over there?"
Is that… Yuuko? Nah, it can't be.
"Sssh, quiet! You'll expose my position!" Well, I certainly don't have to guess who this is. "Go check out the other stalls, I'm on a mission right now!"
Since there's no reply, I can only assume the mysterious girl did as he said.
Kenji with a member of the opposite sex? Man, that's some shock… Whoever she is, I feel sorry for her.
The camera finally moves away from the bushes, but only ends up facing a nearby tree, which keeps growing in size as he runs towards it. I guess that's going to serve as the new cover against whoever Kenji intends to spy on.
Again, I can hear, if only barely, the sounds of conversation from nearby. Before I can make out anything of what the voices are saying, however, they're drowned out by another.
"Surveillance log, entry 13." Due to his excitement, Kenji seems to be struggling to keep his voice down. "The Tanabata festival finally gave me an opportunity that is well worth the deadly risks I'm taking just by being here. No, if anyone wants to know, this is not a date. For the first time, I can get near the heart of the feminism that infests this damn school. The leaders of the conspiracy. The worst nightmare of free men everywhere."
Slowly, carefully, Kenji sticks the phone out from behind the tree.
I can see a stall covered by blue and red fabric, with a couple of plastic tables and chairs next to it. Almost all the chairs are occupied by people eating something from the disposable plates in front of them.
Why does this look so familiar? A year ago I didn't even know a place like Yamaku Academy existed…
Wait, something's moving. Two girls appear behind the stall, dressed in waitress outfits. A third hurries after them, carrying a tray in her hand with two glasses of soda on it.
The resolution of the video is very bad, but the first and the third girl seem to have long hair, blond and brown, while the second one's hair is short and dark… and… she seems to be wearing glasses…
Damn. I remember. The photo I saw in her room, it was taken at the same time. It's Lilly, Shizune… and Misha.
"The Student Council," Kenji states in a disgusted tone. "Our greatest, craziest, most fearsome enemy."
Oh shut up already, I want to hear them talk!
"…we should hurry to make more." I can finally make out Lilly's voice. "This demand is quite unexpected, so much so that we are almost out of food."
Shizune is not looking at her as she speaks but at Misha instead, for obvious reasons.
She's not translating though. Her hands don't move at all.
"Oh… sorry, sorry~! I'm sorry, Lilly! Wait, I have to put the tray down somewhere…" I've never, ever heard Misha talk like that. She sounds… flustered. Nervous.
[Lilly says we need to make more food quick!]
She finally manages to relay the message, and Shizune's answer comes without a second of delay.
[Don't worry, I was prepared for this of course.] She whirls around and reaches under the stall, only to turn back a moment later. [Where are the noodle packages?]
Misha freezes in place, as if she had just been accused of stealing them all.
[I… I don't know. I have no idea, Shicchan, really!]
Shizune gives a silent sigh. [Calm down. I obviously wanted to ask Lilly, not you.]
The penny drops.
"Oh~! Err… Lilly, Shicchan wants to know where you've put the noodle packages."
Lilly seems confused. "I don't remember even touching those. If I'm not mistaken, Shizune brought them here along with the other ingredients. We have already used up six packages, aren't the rest supposed to be at the same place?"
"I… really don't know…"
Now it's Lilly's turn to sigh. "Could you please ask Shizune?"
Misha tenses up again. Memorizing the previous three sentences and presenting them to Shizune seems to require an enormous mental effort from her.
I have to say, this isn't the most efficient method of communication. She makes a lot of subtle and not-so-subtle mistakes, seems to translate only when asked, and even then she quotes the speaker instead of just translating the words as they come.
Combined with her odd mood, reactions and unusual hairstyle, it feels like I'm looking at a completely different person: a shy, nervous girl who is visibly unsure of herself.
It's so strange, I don't know what to think. How can someone change this much in just a year?
Or… did she change at all? Is the person I've come to know the real Shiina Mikado? Her overly energetic, bubbly personality always seemed unusual to an extent. Is it nothing but a front she puts up to keep people from seeing this? The truth?
On the rare occasions when I saw Misha sad, I always thought that it was so unlike her to act that way, and I instantly felt an urge to cheer her up, to bring her back to her usual joyful self.
But, it turns out, perhaps for her those moments were in fact the most real.
"I found them," Lilly appears from under the stall with a plastic package full of noodles in hand, triumph apparent in her voice. "It seems we now have everything we need. Misha, could you light the stove while I chop up the vegetables?"
Misha turns towards the portable gas stove behind them at a snail's pace, approaches it with similarly excruciating slowness, and finally picks up a box of matches into her slightly trembling hand. If I was watching a live video stream or a movie, this is the moment when I'd begin to worry that she's going to blow everyone up.
Suddenly, a hand appears on her shoulder. I recognize the hand's owner to be Shizune as she steps closer, Lilly obscuring her from view until now. I wish I could lean to the side, as I can barely see the signs they're making.
[What's wrong?]
A blunt question, as expected.
Misha's hands are moving about in the air, but I don't think it's the distance, the angle or the video's resolution that's making me believe they're not forming coherent words.
[Look, just calm down a bit, okay? If the customers keep pouring in like that we'll have to work quickly.]
I think I can finally see what Misha is signing, but it doesn't make me much wiser, since she seems to be only repeating a single word.
[But… but… but…]
Then without warning, the words explode out of her without much regard to whether Shizune can understand them or not.
"But Shicchan, I've never used a gas stove before~! It's really, really dangerous! And there are so many people here and they're all staring at me, and this outfit doesn't fit, and you're all speaking so fast I can't keep up, and the weather looks like it might rain right now or in a minute or two, and that makes me sleepy but I know I can't be sleepy right now, and… and…"
CLICK
Music track: Painful History
I stop the playback.
That was enough, I can't watch any more of this.
It's almost funny how history is repeating itself. Iwanako and I drifted apart during my stay in the hospital, just like how the distance between me and Misha seems to grow larger with every passing second. And when I could finally leave that damn white-and-green room behind, I was thrust into an entirely new environment, without any handholds whatsoever: no friends, no nearby relatives, nothing.
I'm beginning to feel the same way once more.
Shizune, Misha… The people I thought I knew, the people I thought I could count on, the people I thought I… loved… In reality, they're all turning out to be drastically different compared to the pretense they've been keeping up until now. It's like I've been part of a masquerade without realizing, and now that the masks are off, everyone is laughing except me.
I've spent over six months here, and all these people are suddenly like strangers to me. The two friends I thought I had simply do not exist. The others… who knows? How can I tell what they're really thinking? How can I tell what kind of personality hides behind their supposed acts of kindness? How can I tell who they really are?
It's a lie, all of it. The truth is this: ever since I've arrived to this school of freaks, I've been alone. And I still am.
Before going to bed, I turn off my alarm clock.
I don't care if I sleep in. If I had the chance, I would not wake up until Friday morning.
But then I definitely will. I'm going to do this. Damn the consequences.
Music track: Caged Heart
The cold, misty Friday morning had finally arrived.
To my shock, Misha came to school today.
I can't say I'm happy about this turn of events at all. She had told me it's going to take weeks before she can leave the hospital; either her recovery is going that much faster than expected, or she had simply been this unwilling to stay there, no matter what the doctors said. That way she fumbles around the corridor with a pair of crutches makes me suspect the latter.
We did not talk, I avoided her on purpose. In fact, this development just reinforced my original idea to skip all morning classes entirely. The less she knows about what's happening, the better it is for me.
I check the balloons in my bag for what's surely the hundredth time this morning. They're all fine, none of them ruptured; I would notice that very quickly anyway.
Surrounded by dense fog, the school building almost feels like it's haunted. One can barely see anything outside the windows. Fragments of human speech can be heard sifting into the corridor from the classrooms, but the corridors themselves are completely empty. I walk in them alone, impatiently counting the minutes as the hours crawl by.
Can't time pass a bit faster, damn it?
Part of me just wants to kick in the council door and get it over with. But that would accomplish little, or at least not enough. Not enough for me, anyway.
My last-minute doubts begin to assault me as well. They question whether this is really worth it. Whether I am going too far or not.
I cast them all aside. My decision has already been made. There's no turning back now.
"…Um…"
I hastily turn my head to the side in alarm. I didn't hear or see anyone coming.
It's Hanako. Probably skipping classes just like me, she sneaks around the mist-covered school without a sound, truly like a ghost in a haunted mansion.
I'm not amused.
"What is it?"
Hopefully my curt, impatient question will make her realize that she would do well to keep this short. What could she possibly want from me at a time like this? I can hardly see her lecturing me for not being in class; that would be the pot calling the kettle black anyway.
She had to notice that I'm not in the mood for chitchat, because she seems to become even more tense than usual.
"… Lilly… was… looking for… for you… this week…" Feeling pressured, she struggles to get her point across. "She… wanted to talk… with you…"
Right. And I did my best to make any such contact impossible. "So?"
"…I'm… Um, we…"
She still doesn't give up. Why? Hanako is not the one to start a conversation, not to mention that my unfriendly attitude should have driven her off three times over already. She does look like she'd prefer to run even now, but something is holding her back. Very unexpected.
Whatever, I should have gotten used to such things already. It's just another example of how little I really know about the true selves of these people around me.
Her eyes cast down, Hanako's gaze is fixed on a square of linoleum on the floor that's slightly lighter in color compared to the others. "We're… w-worried about… the three of you."
I snap my head up. She definitely has my attention now.
"Lilly noti- err, we noticed t-that… things… are n-not going okay with you… And now… Shizune is transferring away…"
I allow myself a mental chuckle to that. Good thing someone actually paid attention. Still, it's a nice effort, Hanako, thanks - but I don't want any of your pity. Or Lilly's, for that matter.
"And? So what?"
"But I… I don't…" She is close to breaking down now, I can see it from the way her fingers clench around the sides of her skirt. I wish she would get it over with already. "You… you shouldn't… you shouldn't d-do this, Hisao! It's… it's not going to help…anyone…! Y-You… You'll regret it!"
I stare at her. She barely raised her whisper-like voice and I'm not sure what she meant by that, but I can nonetheless feel my anxiety rise.
"What are you talking about?"
Hanako clenches her eyes shut. Her very being is on the verge, like an overly tense string threatening to snap.
"I s-saw you… pacing a-around… the c-council room… And I… saw t-those… when… when you… when you t-took some of them out of your bag…"
I involuntarily take a step back.
She saw me. Hanako… she knows what I'm about to do.
If… if she tells the teachers… if they find out anything about this, then-
"D-Don't you dare!" I yell into her face. "Don't you dare telling anyone, do you hear me?!"
My enraged voice echoes through the corridor.
Shit! What have I done?! Everyone must have heard that! I have to get out of here!
I dash towards the stairwell leaving the terrified-looking Hanako behind, and don't stop running until I reach the school grounds.
I think I made it. Only a few teachers or students could recognize me by voice, so I'm probably safe.
Unless… unless Hanako rats me out. If she does go to a teacher after this, it won't matter where I run…
No. I can't lose my nerve now. Not at the last moment.
What am I so worried about, anyway? It's Hanako. She can barely talk to people her own age, let alone the teachers. I don't have to be afraid of her. Luckily for me, she's pretty hopeless.
Feeling reassured, I decide to wait an hour or so before heading back into the building to let things calm down a little. I can put up with the cold until then. What comes after makes it more than worth the trouble.
This is it.
I eye the small, red box on the wall of the second floor corridor. There's only a single line of text on the transparent plate in front, printed in large bold letters.
IN CASE OF FIRE BREAK GLASS
I check my watch. Too early, it's still 8 minutes before lunch break. I have to wait for another 174 aggravating seconds. The timing has to be perfect, or my whole plan is useless.
My eyes dart between the watch and the red box in front of me restlessly.
…150 seconds… 120… 85…
33… 20… 12… 8…
5…
4…
3…
2…
1…
Now!
I punch the box, and the glass gives in immediately.
The sound of a blaring siren hits my ears. I don't know where it's coming from, it's like the walls themselves started screaming.
But that doesn't matter. My job is to head to the council room as quickly and discreetly as possible.
Rushing down the stairs, I can see the class doors opening left and right. Students rush out, looking somewhere halfway between excited and worried as the teachers direct them towards the stairwell while struggling to maintain some semblance of order.
I manage to stay ahead of them, and watch from behind a locker on the ground floor as the crowd leaves the building. As I suspected, it takes several minutes for the last wheelchair-bound pupil to leave with some help from the elevator.
The school once again becomes eerily quiet, not even the distant voices from the classrooms are heard this time. I realize that even the siren had stopped; it shouldn't have unless someone deliberately switched it off. Looks like they've found the broken fire alarm box on the second floor and realized that the whole thing was just a ruse.
Fine by me, that alarm was grating on my nerves anyway. It's already too close to lunch break for classes to resume… and things aren't looking too good for the elections either.
But it's not over yet. I'm just getting started.
I abandon my hiding place and hastily make my way to the council room just down the corridor. I find Kenji standing there, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
"Good, you're here." I nod to him. "I was worried for a minute that you've let yourself get dragged out with the rest of your class."
I put my open bag down to the floor.
"Here, you can have half the ammunition. It should be more than enough for the both of us." He does not react. "Come on! Shizune can walk out that door any second, so move your ass!"
Instead of listening to me, Kenji decides to open his idiot mouth once again. I can instantly feel my blood pressure rise.
"You know, dude… I-I've been thinking about this and-"
"Move, don't think! We're running out of time!"
"B-But why? Hisao, the elections are already FUBAR. We won this round, man! So why risk our asses for nothing?"
"No, this is not enough! I've already told you that! We need to… we need to settle this for good," I state in a shaky, strained voice. "Here. Take these. …If you're not a fucking coward."
"I'm not a…!" Kenji's outburst is so pointless that even he realizes the fact and gives up. "Fine. But I don't like this. It doesn't matter who we're up against, it's still like… like we're a bunch of bullies or something…"
"Shut the hell up."
Kenji actually obeys. Must be some miracle.
No sooner than we take our positions, the bell sounds, that boring, mind-numbingly repetitive noise filling the near-empty school building. Lunch break has started.
The door of council room slowly opens, right on cue. Looks like it wasn't even locked this time.
Shizune steps out into the corridor. I can't see her face well from where I'm standing, but she's carrying a large cardboard ballot box in both hands, with a stack of photocopied ballot papers resting on top of it. Completely unaware of what happened in the last few minutes, she begins to walk with careful steps towards the elevator.
I can barely restrain myself as I watch her leave. Kenji, what the hell are you waiting for?!
Music track: High Tension
He finally appears from behind one of the lockers in front of her. Surprised, Shizune comes to a halt.
The bastard is visibly hesitant, but finally throws the balloons in both of his hands at her. One of them is way off the mark, but the other is flying in the direction of her right leg.
Probably on reflex, Shizune jumps back a feet or two, the stack of papers swaying dangerously on top of the box. The balloons burst as they hit the floor, splashing water in all directions around them… but sadly, she manages to avoid it for now.
Kenji reaches for another balloon tucked away in his shawl, and Shizune begins to back away.
Fool.
She doesn't know she's heading right towards me. She doesn't know that Kenji is nothing but a diversion.
Finally noticing me from the corner of her eye, she turns around at the last moment - but it's already too late. From such close range, little more than two feet away, I do not miss.
I feel a special sort of satisfaction as I watch the balloon hit her squarely in the face. Her glasses fly off as she loses her balance, the outbursting water soaking her from head to toe. She falls towards the ground. The moment she lands on her butt, my second balloon hits the cardboard box.
Water is everywhere. The ballot papers are covering the floor, completely drenched, well beyond saving.
…Too easy. Way too easy.
This can't be it. It can't be over yet. There must still be something I can do.
I hurry past her, into the council room. I glance around, then reach into my bag - still plenty of balloons left.
Good.
Without any real target or goal, I begin throwing them around the room with reckless abandon. It works well. The rest of the papers, the other ballot box we made, the reports, notes and handouts in the drawers, the posters, the board games - everything is washed away. Destroyed. Gone.
The Student Council is no more.
I realize with some resentment that I've finally ran out of balloons. I reluctantly turn around and walk out of the room with dazed steps.
Something's still amiss. But what…?
Shizune is still sitting on the floor in the middle of the puddle of water, unmoving, drenched sheets of paper all around her. Shockingly however, I can definitely hear some kind of noise from her direction.
Low, muffled sobs.
Shizune is crying.
…Pathetic.
"What? You thought I'd just let you walk off? After everything you did?" I question her, my voice rife with anger. "So tell me! Was this worth it? Was this worth throwing me… throwing us away like trash?! Answer me!"
Nothing. She can't hear me of course, but that's besides the point. She makes no effort to even see me. She doesn't even raise her head.
She's… she's still ignoring me…!
With a couple of indignant steps, I go to stand exactly in front of her.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you, damn it!"
No reaction. None.
That… that damn bitch!
My trembling fingers dig into her dark, silky locks; I pull her hair backwards, forcing her to show me her face.
Tears stream down her cheeks… but her eyes are clenched shut.
Arrgh… Y-You!
My other hand clenches into a fist, and I raise it threateningly into the air.
"I… said… LOOK… AT… MEEE-!"
Music track: Cold Iron
There's a sudden sensation of impact, and something throws me off balance.
Struggling to stay on my feet, my back hits one of the lockers as I stagger backwards. My face hurts. Warm, salty liquid is dripping from my nose to my lips.
Something… someone broke my nose? The hell-?!
Eyes wide, I stare blankly ahead, unable to believe what I'm seeing.
Hanako stands before me, panting heavily. Her right arm is still extended towards me; both of her fists are clenched, her expression a terrifying mixture of fear and rage.
You got to be kidding… Hanako, of all people, punching me in the face?! What the-?!
Her entire body shakes as her dark eyes dart between me and Shizune's limp form on the ground.
"Stop it…!" She finally turns away, as if the sight is causing her physical pain, her whisper-like voice escalating into a hysterical scream. "STOP IT!"
With that, she whirls around and flees in panic, her running form disappearing from view in seconds. I can only stare after her in disbelief… until I realize that she did not come alone.
"Hanako…?" Lilly stands a couple of steps behind me, looking shaken. Absent-mindedly, I also notice that Kenji on the other hand is nowhere to be seen. That spineless coward.
So, instead of running to the teachers, Hanako brought her friend here instead. How terribly cute. And so very pointless.
Lilly begins to walk forward. Her steps are slow and careful as she waves her cane in front of her, but there's unmistakable determination showing on her face.
"What now?" I ask with a scornful snort. "Don't tell me you're also here to lecture me about what I'm doing wrong… Or do you want to skip that and just try beating me up instead?"
Seconds pass without a single sign that she heard a word of what I told her. Lilly simply walks past me, pausing only when she notices the puddle of water under her shoes. Shortly after, her cane bumps into Shizune on the ground.
She crouches down, her free hand searching for the other girl's face.
"I'm sorry, Hisao… but to the man you've become, I have nothing to say."
A curt answer. More like an offhand comment.
Yeah right. What gives…? Care to get off your moral high horse for a second?! Last I checked, you hated everything about Shizune just as much as I do! And you have the gall to put me down with something like that…?!
That's what I want to yell at her, but my lips refuse to move. There was something in her voice, something inexplicably imposing that simply zipped my mouth shut.
I can't believe this.
Wiping the tears from her cheeks, Lilly takes Shizune's hand between hers, and starts doing some really bizarre motions with her index finger. It's like she's writing something into Shizune's palm, occasionally grasping one of her fingers as well. Is that some sort of sign language?
Shizune's sobs quiet down, and Lilly helps her to her feet.
As far as I'm concerned, I feel too disgusted by this "touching scene" to even look anymore. Leaning against the locker, I close my eyes in resignation and listen to their footsteps as they slowly fade into the distance.
Whatever. I don't care anymore.
You can all rot in hell.
Music track: Breathlessly
A different kind of approaching noise draws my attention after a while. It's similar to what Lilly's cane makes as it touches the ground, but a little heavier-sounding, and it also feels more like there's two of them, instead of just one.
A pair of canes? No…
A pair of crutches.
…Why on earth is she here?
I open my eyes to glare at the newcomer. Misha is leaning on her crutches to keep herself from falling over, looking exhausted to the point that her good leg can barely support any of her weight at all.
"Hicchan…"
I avert my gaze. "Leave me alone."
She doesn't listen. Hardly surprising.
"…You and Shicchan weren't in class, and… when I asked to the others, no one would tell me why… Then I saw Hanako run to Lilly when the alarm went off, but… I couldn't keep up with them, and…" She takes a longer pause to catch her breath. Her voice wavers even more when she continues, "W-What happened? Did you really… did you really do this, Hicchan?"
"And what if I did?" The fact that I can only answer in a quiet murmur makes me feel humiliated.
"But… why? This makes no sense…" Misha's voice grows increasingly desperate, struggling with the tears that she'd hope to hide even now. Deceitful to the very end. "You're… you're not like this, Hicchan… So why… why did you-?"
A jolt of anger runs through me.
"What the hell do you know about who I am?!" I snap at her. "You don't know anything! You were too busy with your own little issues to ever bother to learn! …Like, just for starters, do you have any idea how much I've hated that damn nickname ever since I was a kid?!"
That rendered Misha speechless. An achievement, I suppose.
"Of course you don't. And you know what? I don't know anything about you either, except for the fact that you've been leading me by the nose like everyone else." I spit the words out like they taste unbearably bitter in my mouth. "Who the hell are you, really? I can't tell anymore. Your childish gags, your idiotic laugh, your hair, the way you talk, even the name you want others to call you - everything about you is fake! Tell me, does a real Shiina Mikado even exist somewhere? Was she having fun at my expense during the past month?!"
She slowly shakes her head in denial. "W-What do you mean…?"
"Come on, it's painfully obvious! You were just using me. Ever since you came to my room looking for 'comfort' or whatever, I was nothing but a cheap replacement for Shizune to you!" I point an accusing finger in her direction. Misha flinches. "At least I was good for you in bed; it sure explains why we did little else all the time! You never felt anything, and my feelings didn't matter: the moment you grew tired of this, in the very second you thought up a way to get back to Shizune… you dropped me like a hot potato."
Her gaze drops to the floor. An admission of guilt, if I ever saw one. "You're being really, really unfair, Hich… I mean, that's not… that's not true…"
"I haven't seen you for a week once you started stalking Shizune! What else was that supposed to mean?!" My yell gives way to a bitter chuckle. "Give me a break, why deny it? I can't help being a guy instead of a girl, and there's also no helping it if you're simply not wired that way…"
Misha finally gives up the losing battle she's been fighting, and her tears begin to flow freely from her eyes.
For the first time, I can truly recognize the girl from the video in the person in front of me. So, this is what Shiina Mikado really looks like. What a sorry sight.
I think I've seen more than enough. I turn around and head for the closest door I can spot, which happens to be the one leading into the student council room - or whatever is left of it.
"Just get out of here already," I mutter as I step through the threshold. "I'm sure Shizune will be overjoyed if you join her little pity party."
I can hear the tiniest voice answering me from the midst of her miserable sobs.
"I… I hate you…"
So much for not wanting to hate anyone. At least it's good to know that the feeling's mutual.
The door slams behind me. I start to trudge towards the nearest chair, but my legs refuse to carry me much further, and I soon slump down to the wet ground.
The ravaged council room seems to mirror my current state perfectly. Consumed completely by the raging emotions that flowed through me in the past minutes, my body feels much like a burnt-out husk.
I've come to hate these people around me, and yet, I can't help it… I feel lonely nonetheless. They deserved nothing less, and still… I can't deny that part of me abhors what I did to everyone.
In the end, I've shut them all out.
Now why does this phrase feel so familiar? Because of Shizune, who else?
She and Misha can still live happily ever after of course. She's the victim here, after all. Victims need to be consoled. I can almost see them bumping into each other in the corridor right now, embracing and talking about that horrible man who ruined everything.
Poor Misha, poor Shizune. Hisao Nakai came and messed up your lives.
The bastard.
You know what would be funny? If I could just die right here, right now. What a twist that'd be! A dead man no longer fits the role of the villain so well. All of a sudden, I would become part of the tragedy. Out of the blue, the situation wouldn't be anyone's fault at all.
"It must have been all that medication. Did you see the list of side effects? It'd be no surprise if some of them messed with his head. He didn't know what he was doing."
"A heart attack at such a young age! And then the sudden change of environment, less than a year before graduation! No wonder he couldn't take it."
People would say all that and more. They'd make a martyr out of me. A misunderstood saint.
It would be nice.
But my heart still beats. Slowly and steadily. I don't remember it ever being so calm and punctual in the recent past. It keeps beating on and on, pumping blood through my veins with no end in sight. Unrelenting.
Unwilling to take the blame.
Music track: -
THE END
