Sorry as always guys for such late updates but Poisonous takes a lot out of me XD it's hard capturing everything in the proper emotion :I anyways here's a brand new chapter with more talk time between Natsuki and Shizuru and Natsuki and Nao. also this was suppose to be 30 pages but, i decided i wanted the action to happen in the next chapter! soo uh

ENJOY

Ps. This is RAW please excuse the errors it will be beta soon!


"Yes…" Shizuru defeated sighed, but yet she felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and all she wanted to do was sleep. She was tired and it had been a long day for both of them.

It was cold and the wind was chilling to the bone outside. The small barracks was full of soft snores and deep breathing. Even though Natsuki was warm for the most part she was freezing chilled to her core. Emerald eyes stared into nothingness, while her hand gently stroked her arm. She could feel the scar tissue that formed into numbers on her flesh and were painted black. Her breathing was deep as if she were asleep and every now and then she'd feel herself drifting off only to jerk awake from the horrid images behind her lids. Her body would then shudder uncontrollably in fear, she could still feel the hot blood on her face dripping down her cheeks like tears. Natsuki turned her head to see Nao and her mother sleeping soundly they were curled up against each other for warmth Natsuki had made sure not to get caged in their sleeping embrace or she would have been stuck all night. She turned her head to look up at the ceiling, there was a large hole in it that let in the cold air and light of the moon. It was high in the sky and shined brightly, closing her eyes

Natsuki sent a small prayer to her fallen friend and quietly pulled herself up onto her feet. She opened the barracks door and shivered when the cold air touched her exposed body. Her prison uniform didn't protect her much from the harsh cold of the night, luckily March was on its way and the hope for warmer weather was on everyone's mind. Slowly and sluggishly Natsuki walked through the prisoner's square her bare feet numb from the frozen ground. It was only when she reached the all familiar metal gates that she stopped. Sighing Natsuki closed her eyes and rested her head on the freezing cold metal surface. She felt so alone, so dead inside knowing she'd never see Maria again…never see…her father and Duran again…she had lost another important person. Anger built up in her body and she slammed her first down hard against the metal gate that barely budged. Fresh tears streamed down Natsuki's face and her body racked with quite sobs.

"Maria…" Natsuki choked out softly. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry." Natsuki banged her head this time hard against the hard metal. It made a dull thud and her head began to throb painfully, but not as painfully as her heart clenched in misery. She lifted her head again to slam it hard against the metal but stopped at the sound of a soft voice.

"Please don't hurt yourself anymore Natsuki…" Shizuru's voice asked quietly. Shizuru wore a sad face, pain clear in her eyes. She wasn't surprise to see Natsuki suddenly tense up, she was a monster after all. Her eyes opened slowly and she lifted her head a little turning to face Shizuru. She didn't bother to wipe the tears from her cheeks she had been to surprised to hear such a gentle feminine voice. The female soldier had always masked her voice to sound like a young man who's voice had yet to deepen much. Now the sound she was hearing was heavenly how could that be?

"Rrushi…" Natsuki let the her lips tug into a frown. Shizuru had agreed to meet her at midnight after Natsuki demanded answers from the woman.

"I'm here as promised." Shizuru said softly her crimson eyes never leaving haunting emeralds. "What is it you wish to known?"

"I want to know everything." Natsuki sighed wiping the tears from her face.

"I cant tell Natsuki everything…"

"Why?" Natsuki winced when her voiced cracked, she hated how weak she felt it was humiliating.

"Because Natsuki doesn't need to know…because its best if she doesn't know." Shizuru whispered. They stood there for a few moments that felt like an eternity, while Natsuki sorted out her thoughts. Swallowing the lump in her throat she asked her first question.

"Why are you pretending to be a soldier?"

"I cant answer that." Shizuru voiced looking down at her feet.

"Why are you helping these monsters?"

"Because that is my job." Natsuki glared at the woman angrily gritting her teeth hard against each other.

"So you like being a dog of the military. You like killing innocent people!"

"Of course I don't!" Shizuru glared back just as angrily. How dare Natsuki think so lowly of her!

"Do other people know your…you're a woman?"

"No…no one knows."

"Lair!" Natsuki spat. She took a few angry steps towards the woman and glared harder at her. "That other woman knows that…that teal headed freak!" Shizuru raised a brow at the younger girl, she wasn't expecting that. "I saw! I saw you…a-and her…doing..uh." Natsuki face grew flushed with embarrassment. "Uh…in…the slop house…" Shizuru watched Natsuki's face turn a lovely shade of red, while she looked at the younger girl with confused eyes. It took her a moment to register what Natsuki had said.

"Ara…I, she's no one…" Shizuru's cheeks flushed a bit. "She means nothing."

"Then why were you doing those things with her! Y-you kissed her and…and all those other things!" Natsuki glared accusingly. Why was she so mad? It's not like she cared what Rrushi did in her free time.

"I believe I don't need to explain myself to you! It's not like you're my lover." Shizuru glared, she didn't like that Natsuki was accusing her like she was some cheating spouse. Emeralds widened at her Kapo's out burst and she could feel a dull pain in her heart. She lightly touched where he heart was, that felt like a low blow…why?

"Your right. I don't give a damn what you do anyways." Natsuki crossed her arms her eyes icy while she stood high and mighty like a brick wall putting up a front, but to Shizuru it looked like the young beauty would crash down even with the lightest wind.

Sighing Shizuru lifted her cap and ran her fingers through her hair then placed it back on her head. "Look she's just some girl black mailing me ok?" Shizuru looked up lazily at the stars before turning her attention back on Natsuki, she looked cold.

"Black mailing?"

"Yes, She found out my secret and in order for her not to blab I slept with her. Now she thinks we are in love. I let her think we are and in return I can relax a little bit." Natsuki cocked her head to the side curiously and Shizuru couldn't help but think it was adorable.

"So you don't have feelings for her?"

"Yes that is correct." Nodding Natsuki looked down at her feet. For some reason it felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Natsuki blinked a few times feeling a new weight fall onto her shoulders but this time it was tangible. Looking up crimsons and emeralds clashed and for a moment they stared into each others depths not sure what they were looking for.

"Rrushi…?"

"Natsuki looked cold." Shizuru gave a small smile to the girl tightening her jacket gently around Natsuki's shoulders. Shizuru could feel goose bumps raising over her skin now that she no longer had a jacket. It was horribly bitter out side tonight. Her crimson eyes rolled down from emeralds and looked at the girls bare feet. "Ara, I shouldn't have let Natsuki come out she looks like she's about to freeze."

Natsuki's brows furrowed cutely. "What the hell is an "Ara?" Natsuki asked ignoring her Kapo's light tease besides her feet she felt fine. Rrushi's jacket was already warm since she had been wearing it. Some how it oddly smelled nice, Natsuki pulled it tighter too her body, it felt nice being cared for.

"Kanin na, I must sound odd to Natsuki." Shizuru placed her finger on the tip of her chin as if thinking. "My family comes from Japan and Island very far from here and in Japan my family comes from a place called Kyoto which is why I speak "funny." Shizuru gave a light shrug and looked back at Natsuki. "But Ara, is basically a form of "oh my." I guess you could say."

"oh…what's ka-nannana?

"Kanin na?"

"Yeah that." Natsuki blushed feeling stupid for getting that wrong. Shizuru smiled and enjoyed the blush filling Natsuki's cheeks.

"It means forgive me." Shizuru placed a sad smile on her face. She doubted Natsuki would forgive anything she's done no matter how small it was.

"Oh, I see." Natsuki chewed on her lip not sure what to say next.

"Does Natsuki want to ask me anymore questions?"

Looking up at Rrushi Natsuki searched the woman's eyes while her thoughts slowly filled her head. Slowly she broke eye contact and stared down at the ground. Her feet looked dirty and frozen like blocks of ice. She would have to go soon or she might get frost bite.

"Do you hate me?"

Shizuru's brows furrowed at the odd question, why would she ask such a thing. Shizuru should have been asking that instead. "No of course not why would I?"

"I've been mean to you…" Natsuki mumbled tracing the scar tissue on her arm through the jackets sleeve.

"That's an odd thing for Natsuki to say, when it is I who has been mean to you." Shizuru sighed sadly and pushed her hands into her pockets. "Kanin na Natsuki for everything… What I'm doing…its for the better. You may not understand why yet, but I promise you'll see in due time."

"You shouldn't keep promise you cant keep." Shizuru winced at that. Natsuki husky voice stabbed right where it hurt. She hadn't said it harshly but, still Natsuki knew what she was saying. There was never any way of knowing how long you'd live in this place.

"When I make a promise I intend to keep it. And with that promise, I'll do all I can to make so you don't suffer any longer."

"Why?" Emeralds watched the soldier for a brief moment before looking back to the ground. "Why do you care so much about me?" Shizuru hummed in reply.

"I ask myself that everyday." With that Shizuru patted Natsuki's head affectionately and took her jacket back before bidding Natsuki good night.

=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=

"Your making this a lot harder then it should be." A mans voice said lazily.

"It's not like I planned it to happen." Shizuru glared at the dark figure. The figure just shrugged and let out an exaggerated sigh, his light pink eyes dancing in the darkness.

"You have a job to do Shizuru you shouldn't be slacking this is important!"

"If its so important why don't you do it." Shizuru hissed angrily. He was getting on her nerves.

"Because YOU signed up for this, because YOU are the only one who can do it. We are staking a lot here Shizuru, and we cannot afford any mistakes." The man began pacing back and forth his footsteps never making a sound. "If this interferes Shizuru, it'll be on your head."

"It wont…"

"I wish you'd say that a little more confidently."

"As long as I complete the objective before anyone finds out then it doesn't matter who finds out in the end." Shizuru stated. The man stopped pacing and looked at her for a long moment. He then resumed pacing.

"I suppose not…" He cleared his throat. "And the girl? Tomoe was it, how do you explain that."

"She just thinks I'm a girl who ran into the military so I wouldn't end up dead or starving just like every man that joined did."

"What about Williams?" Shizuru scowled for a moment at the question.

"I believe he knows nothing, however…"

"However?" The man echoed.

"He's been acting off…" Shizuru frowned. She really didn't know how describe Williams being different. If you looked at and average man and then Williams next to him his attitude always made him look off.

"How so?"

"I'm not really sure. He, he seems solemn…., I cant put my finger on it." Shizuru sighed and looked at the large tree that stood alone in the field. "I know he cares about me though."

"Cares about you or cares about Rrushi?"

"…I…I don't know." The man sighed and rested up against the tree his eyes closed behind their lids for a few moments before opening.

"And what about that other girl. Number 9,830?"

"Her names Natsuki." Shizuru gritted her teeth. If Shizuru could see him more clearly then she would of saw him raise a questioning eyebrow.

"What's your plan with her."

"I, I want to save her…"

"Why?"

Running her fingers through her chestnut locks Shizuru closed her eyes trying to think of a reason to say. Her heart was screaming her the answer but her brain was to jumbled up to understand. "I'm not sure, I just need to…I feel it in my heart."

"Then do what you please, its not my job to baby sit you." The man hummed and walked to the edge of the tree looking up at the star filled sky. "Just don't let it interfere with the mission. You have 3 more months to prepare."

"Yes sir!" Shizuru saluted him and turned to enter the camp once more.

=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=

Shizuru had kept to her promise she had made sure not to let her affairs no matter how big or small they were get in the way of her mission. She trained her body hard when she was suppose to sleeping. She needed her body to be in proper physical condition if she was going to endure this. She'd need to prepare her body for long runs, picking up heavy objects and enhance her shooting accuracy. Of course Shizuru made time to see her favorite prisoner and make sure she was comfortable. Shizuru would end up smuggling food to the younger girl for her mother and friend. She knew it was wrong to play favorites but she couldn't smuggle food to everyone. Natsuki seem to be opening up more to her now too. The tension wasn't so suffocating anymore and when it was it wasn't bad, no things were developing oddly, and it was making their hearts pound wildly. Everything was sort of looking up, until things had to go bad of course…

"Shhh breathe Natsuki breathe." Nao cooed to the girl trembling in her arms. Oh how the world could be so harsh and hateful.

"I…I don't…this cant be happening."

"Shhh." Nao hugged the slightly older girl closer trying to comfort her the best she could. She couldn't stand seeing Natsuki cry, even this horrible place, even after being beaten spat upon and harassed, seeing Natsuki hurting was the most painful thing she had endured.

"But but…she's…" Natsuki stammered but the sobs began racking through her body again. Once again Natsuki began crying and held onto her best friend tightly. It wasn't until she saw Rrushi walking quickly over to them that Nao could sigh with relief, maybe she…that's right Nao knew Rrushi's secret too but had vowed she wouldn't tell anyone. Hopefully she could help Natsuki some how, When Shizuru was a few feet from them she had a grim mask on her face and she quickly told them to get up because she had work for them to do. Once they got to the factories, Shizuru locked the door blocked the windows and let down her fake attitude and looked at Natsuki with sympathy.

"Ara, Natsuki…I'm…I'm sorry.." Shizuru said softly she. She went to pet Natsuki's head to give her some sort of comfort but was surprised to find that Natsuki actually thrown herself in Shizuru's arms sobbing into her jacket. Shizuru looked over at Nao briefly who nodded sadly and made her way further into the factory to give them some privacy, though it pained her to do so.

"Rrushi…she's." Natsuki stuttered and then began hiccupping since she was so upset. Shizuru coming down from her confused stupor hugged the crying raven haired beauty and rocked her softly.

"I know I know…kanin na Natsuki kanin na…If only I was there.." Shizuru bit her cheek until it bled. she could taste the bitter flavor of metal filling her taste buds. She was so angry with herself and more angry at the dumb bastard who had done it. Some drunk soldier shot Saeko point blank because she wouldn't answer his drunken beckons. Shizuru had heard the bang since she had not been far away and was dealing with Tomoe trying to get her off her back. When she finally reached the scene, there laid poor Mrs. Kuga dead in her own life blood.

"I'm losing every one I love…" Natsuki whispered into Shizuru's chest. Sighing the red eyed soldier ran her fingers through the black locks of the prisoner. "I cant let her suffer anymore…it hurts my heart to much."

=o=o=o=o=o=o=NEXT DAY=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=

Shizuru felt exhausted after a long day of work and Natsuki's misery it was like the whole world was weighing on her shoulders, or more like Natsuki's world. Natsuki's world was way more important than everyone else's as far as Shizuru was concerned. Groaning Shizuru walked through the Dimly lit hall way, heading to Mr. Kanzaki's office. Why did he always have to call her in when she was just ready to crawl under a rock and sleep for the rest of eternity. When she reached the door she knocked several times and came in when he heard his gruff voice answer her.

"Welcome Rrushi."

"Sir." Shizuru nodded to the man and stood in the center of the room like always and stood at ease. Mr. K was reading over some papers and had a cigar lit in his mouth. He chewed at the tip as his eyes scanned the paper several times.

"Do you enjoy parties Rrushi?"

"Parties sir?"

"That's right." Mr. K placed the paper down and looked over at Shizuru still chewing his cigar. "There will be a large celebration for the Fuhrer, in his victory on taking the Americans down in the North. We have been invited, I trust you wont refuse."

"Of course not sir." Shizuru mentally grinned at the big news this was perfect.

"It wont be held until a month or so from now. I want you spick and clean, I want you in your best uniform and a girl on your arm." Mr. K said then took a large drag off his cigar before blowing the smoke out in a large cloud.

"A girl?"

"It's a ball you'll be needing a beautiful girl on your arm. So go into town and pick up some girl."

"Sir if you don't mind my asking." Shizuru started. Mr. K nodded so that she would continue. "I wish to pick one of the prisoners as my date."

"Why?" Mr. K narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the young soldier, but Shizuru never faltered instead she placed a mask of disgust along with a twisted smile.

"Well, it'll be easier sir, I wont have to worry about some broad wanting more from me, and if I so choose I can do what I wish to some dirty Jew." Shizuru finished looking at her cuff boredly. She only looked up when she heard the fat bald man chuckling.

"Marvelous idea my boy. Alright fine, pick you crop and fatten her up I don't need people seeing my best soldier with some trashy Jew, and make sure she doesn't look like a prisoner." Mr. K chewed on the cigar once more. "Give her a little taste of heaven bath her and make her sleep in your quarters, so you'll grow on her and knows how to act like a lady.

"Yes sir."

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"The world is rather cruel isn't it Nao." Natsuki mumbled to the younger girl in the middle of the night, she knew Nao was still awake. Nao had held her all night to comfort her she could feels Nao's hands rubbing her back gently.

"I suppose is it…" Nao replied after a few moments her tired lime green eyes found Natsuki's emeralds in the dark.

"I've lost every one I have ever loved…My Father and brother…Maria, and my Mother." Natsuki closed her eyes feeling the stinging feeling of tears coming on.

"You still have me." Nao said softly her voice breaking slightly.

"Yeah your right…I'm sorry, I must seem selfish to you. You lost all your family already yet you never cry." Natsuki opened her eyes once more when she was sure she wouldn't cry. Nao's lime eyes had never left her.

"There's no time for me to cry, I got to keep you safe."

"You make is sound like I'm a child!" Natsuki glared at the red head feeling silly, she was the older one she should be the one comforting Nao.

"Don't get made…I'm just saying, besides I cant cry anymore. Trust me I've tried…besides isn't it nice having someone who cares about you in this nightmare." It wasn't a question Nao knew she was right.

"Yeah…" Sighing Natsuki calmed down from her sudden anger and apologized. Nao just held her closer.

"Your someone I love so I'll always be here for you.." Nao ran her fingers through Natsuki black tresses and her confession caused tears to stroll down Natsuki's face once more. Little did Natsuki know that Nao meant it as more than a friend. Her heart ached for the stubborn pale skin beauty, and every day it got harder and harder for her to hold in her feelings.

"No don't say that…I don't want to lose you too Nao I cant!" Sobbing softly Natsuki hid her face in her hands. Looking softly at the older girl Nao pulled Natsuki's hands away from her face. Blazing emerald orbs holding so much emotion with an intensity she had never seen before made Nao's heart stop and knocked the air out of her lungs.

"You wont ever lose me Natsuki…" Nao voice cracked again her emotions starting to make her throat raw. "I wont leave your side ok?" Placing her hands on either side of Natsuki's face and looking deep into her eyes now whispered to her once more. "Ok?" Natsuki nodded slowly not able to trust her voice, but Nao drew nearer and nearer her lips almost upon Natsuki's owns

"N-Nao?" Natsuki could barely say before she felt Nao's lips on her own kissing her soft and slow. She could feel fresh tears falling down her cheeks and she could feel that Nao herself was crying for the first time in who knows how long. It made the kiss bitter with tears yet some how it was sweet. Not sure what to do Natsuki kissed Nao back still confused on what was going on. When Nao finally pulled away Natsuki was able to gather her thoughts. "Nao…I cant."

"Shh just go to sleep." Nao pulled Natsuki closer to her resting Natsuki head on her chest as a pillow. Sighing Natsuki closed her eyes finally feeling exhausted. Nao listened to Natsuki's breathing while tears streamed down her face, she tried her best to hold in every sob, Natsuki's words playing again in her head

"Nao…I cant."


Yes thats right i went there i went there bwahahahaha!

also i want to torment you more so i'm going ti give you a sneak peak of the next chapter


"Natsuki stop! where are you going!" Shizuru jumped out of the car and ran towards Natsuki wrapping her arms tight around her trying to pull her back to the car.

"Let go of me!" Natsuki yelled squirming out of Shizuru's hold. "Rrushi let go!" Natsuki finally broke free before whipping around to glare at Shizuru.

"you cant just go!"

"I love her!" Natsuki yelled clenching her fists at her sides.

"W-what..." Shizuru winced at the pain she could feel swelling up in her heart...so this is what a broken heart flet like...

"I love her!, she's my bestfriend and i'm not going to leave her behind!"

"Your bestfriend..." Suddenly Shizuru coud feel her heart slwoly going back together, maybe all hope wasnt lost.


Ok theeeere you go :P i promise the next chapter will come as soon as i can get it out! and as always ~Ciao!