Author's Note: So, this wasn't the way that I wanted to end this chapter. I had a totally different idea in mind, but you know... This sounds much more interesting than what I originally planned. Next chapter, though, it's going to be Negan's POV, so I'm sure that'll be fun :)

Happy New Year, everyone! Do any of you have any New Years Resolutions?


For once, you actually felt like you could make a living for yourself here. Though, you couldn't help but let guilt settle at the thought of enjoying Negan's presence. He had given you a job that you knew you would love – it was proven on the first day. Rick and the rest of your former group would call you a traitor for actually liking the Sanctuary and the people within these walls.

As you finish the stack of papers, you separate them into groups. You decide to group the seven to nine year olds together leading a total of three students in that age group. The second group of kids, ages ten to twelve had six students total. Ages thirteen and up was your biggest class. It had eleven students and you decided to prolong the class to three hours instead of two.

Once you finish grouping the kids, you set the paper in the drawer of the desk before leaving the classroom. Lunch was dying down and you just hoped they had leftovers. At the cafeteria, you ask one of the kitchen staff if they had any food leftover, even if it wasn't much.

"Sorry, no can do. Should've been here sooner. We're already prepping for dinner. I'm sorry."

You nod in understanding, turning on your heel to head to your bedroom. That was your fault. You were too focused on your work to even realize what time it was. Once in your room, you instantly lie in your bed after removing your boots.

You wondered how Rick was, how Judith was, how Carl was, how everyone was holding up… You knew you shouldn't have liked it here, but you couldn't help how well you were being treated. You had to wonder if it was because Negan took a liking to you. Regardless, you were grateful, despite the guilt.

You shut your eyes, promising yourself that you were simply just resting your eyes. Though, the resting soon turn into a full-on nap. You didn't mean to waste the entire day by sleeping. You wake up at the sound of a loud knock, whistling coming from behind your closed door.

When you look up to see darkness from your windows, you immediately jump up.

Holy shit. I really just slept for the latter half of the day.

You open the door, looking up at Negan to see him holding two trays of food and a large grin on his face.

"Dinner at your place now, doll. Why the fuck does it look like you just woke up?" Negan asks, stepping into your room without an invitation. He sets the tray onto the counter along the wall, letting Lucille rest near the door.

"Because I just did. Can you just leave my food here and I'll eat alone? I haven't taken a shower yet. I was just resting my eyes. I didn't realize it was already nighttime." You don't bother to spare Negan another glance as you walk to your clothes. Pulling out your underwear, you hide it by wrapping a large shirt around it. You usually liked to sleep with just your panties and an oversized shirt – it was comfortable.

Negan narrows his eyes at you, tilting his head.

"I can fucking wait. Just don't take too long." He responds, falling back onto your bed and grinning in your direction. "Well, doll? Go ahead and fucking shower."

Sighing, you walk into the connected bathroom and shut the door. You let the water run once you turn it on, allowing it to heat up. Once you removed the rest of your clothing, you let the warm water hit your tense muscles, relaxing your knots instantly. You groan quietly, bringing your hands to your hair to stroke it back away from your face.

Negan had a rule about taking long showers – no one were to go over ten minutes. It was a generous thought. Not many people needed to shower more than the allotted time anyway.

Once you finish your shower, you dry your entire body, wrapping your towel around your short hair to let it dry. You slip on the underwear, looking at yourself in the mirror. You weren't as fit as you were before the apocalypse, but you hope that it would change soon.

Maybe I can take up yoga again. That'd be fun. I'd need some meditation after I deal with Negan. The man gives me a fucking headache sometimes.

You pull on the large shirt over your body, covering your bare chest. The shirt reached just above your mid-thighs, but if you were to bend down or raise your arms, anyone would be able to see what color your underwear was.

You peek your head out, seeing Negan with his eyes shut.

Maybe he's sleeping.

Taking a deep breath, you quietly walk to your clothes, rummaging through shorts to pull on before the man in your bed could wake up.

"Well, doll, what a fucking sight to behold," Negan says.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Turning around, you look up to see him with a primal look in his eyes, the smirk evident on his lips. His eyes immediately rake over your body, your erect nipples peeking through the fabric of the shirt and your legs. It was definitely exposed for all of him to see.

"Oh, shut up. I'm putting some shorts on." You pull on the black shorts, not that it helped much. You remove the towel from your hair, running your fingers through your dampened locks.

Negan was still staring as if he had never seen a woman before. It was odd. He walks to you, taking the towel from your hands, letting his eyes rake over you.

"You can pull off a damn big t-shirt, doll."

His eyes move to your chest and you look down at yourself, biting your lower lip when you finally noticed what he was staring at.

"You perv. It's cold, okay? Stop looking." You tell him.

He laughs, looking into your eyes. "My hands are pretty fucking warm if you want me to help you with that."

"No chance in hell."

Negan takes a step back, tossing your towel onto your bed before he retrieves the tray of food.

"We're eating in my room. Come on," Negan says, grabbing Lucille with his free hand after he opens your door.

"But I thought – "

"We're not eating on the damn floor, doll. At least I've got two couches back in my room. I told you it'd be locked. No fucking interruptions tonight. I'm a man of my fucking word. I thought we made that clear."

You follow Negan out of your room and down the hall into his own. Stepping inside, Negan hands you the tray before he locks his door just like he said he would. You walk to the coffee table, setting the tray down before taking a seat. You cross your leg before picking up your own plate.

You missed lunch and you were definitely feeling the hunger in the pit of your stomach. You begin eating, not bothering to wait for Negan who removed his leather jacket and black leather gloves.

It was kind of comforting to know that maybe he was beginning to trust you.

"Not even going to wait for me? That's some fucked up shit, doll." Negan says, sitting across from you and retrieving his own plate of food. He begins eating, though, keeps his eyes focused on you.

"You took too long. I'm not really a patient person."

"Says the fucking teacher." Negan quips back, causing you to glance over at him before moving your eyes back out to the window.

"Why do you always look out there? There's nothing to fucking see. You look outside and you see the dead walking."

You turn to him, biting your lower lip. Once you finish your food, you stand up and walk out of his room after unlocking it. You wanted to look over your shoulder to see the look on his face, but from the sound of his boots following closely behind you, you knew he didn't like the fact that you just up and left.

He catches you slipping on a jacket, furrowing a brow.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Negan asks, watching as you pull on your boots.

"Grab Lucille and your jacket." You tell him, not bothering to wait for him. You figure if you just continued to leave, he would follow without hesitation. And you were right. You hear him shuffling from behind you. When you turn around, you see his leather jacket unzipped and Lucille at his side.

"Okay, first of all, you don't fucking walk away from me. Do I make myself clear?" Negan says, grabbing your arm to stop you from walking once you both descend the stairs.

"Calm down. Just follow me."

You snatch your arm from his grasp, walking outside of the compound and to the garden that they were growing. It was the first thing that caught your eye when you were brought here.

"What the fuck are we doing here?" Negan asks, highly irritated with you at the moment.

You don't respond, but instead, you simply point to his garden. You could tell that he was trying to grow some fruits and vegetables, but that was beside the point. You look off to the side to see a few roses still in its process to bloom, but the color of it was enough to prove that there was still beauty in this ugly world.

"Just take that stick out of your ass and look around you, Negan." You tell him hesitantly, running your fingertips across the closed flower.

"I just see a bunch of plants and shit that we're trying to go. What's so special about this?"

You sigh. He wasn't getting the message.

"Kids in this compound come to the garden. They play near the garden. Do you know why? Because it reminds them that there is still life in this world. One of the questions I asked the kids on that test was what they liked about this place, about this place that you built for them."

Negan was listening, looking intently down at you in the darkness. He could make out the slight color of the flowers, walking towards you and biting his lower lip.

Roses… It reminded him of Lucille and the flowers he got for her at the hospital, but also when they were first starting to date.

"What are you getting at, doll?"

"You provide them security, Negan. You provide everyone in this compound security, despite your shitty rules. Anyway, those kids… Mostly all of them wrote that the garden was what they liked most. And I had to wonder why. Why would a child want to be outside rather than stay safely inside these walls?"

Negan couldn't keep his eyes off the flower, memories of his old life flashing in his mind. What was this woman doing to him?

"I don't fucking know. Why would they?" He asks.

"They look at these flowers, they look at what you're growing and it reminds them of the old world. Now what you said earlier and your question as to why I keep looking outside is because I refuse to be one of the people who think that this world is nothing but death," you drop your eyes, looking down at your boots.

Great. Now he's going to punish you for this shit. Way to go. Way to fucking go.

The silence between the two of you simply thickened the tension. Just as you were about to apologize, he pulls you against him, instantly crashing his lips against yours.

You wanted to pull away, push him away and ask him what the hell he was thinking, but for some reason, you couldn't. While you didn't push him away, you didn't kiss back either and it was difficult not to reciprocate either.

The feel of his lips against yours, the softness of it and the accompanying prickly sensation of his tiny stubble scratching at your skin… It was enough for you to get weak in the knees, so it was a good thing he was holding you up by wrapping an arm around your waist.

When he pulls away, Negan looks down at you. You were expecting to see a triumphant smirk, but you were thoroughly surprised to see that he looked like he was questioning what he just did.

"Rick's a fucking dumbass for letting you go." Negan quietly says, keeping himself closer to you. You couldn't talk, you couldn't move. You simply keep your eyes glued onto his. Where was the man that your people were afraid of? Where was the brutal man who showed no mercy?

Fuck. Shit. Fuck. He's too close, but damn it, I don't want to move away. He smells so good and his lips… God, his lips. It was nothing like kissing Rick… Nope. Don't compare to Rick. Stop. Just step back now and everything will be okay…

You close your eyes, taking a step away from him. You instantly missed the closeness though.

"Why did – What are you doing?"

Negan clears his throat.

"I don't fucking know. I thought we were having a moment. Sorry." Negan shakes his head, walking away from you and back into the compound.

He couldn't believe he kissed you. He couldn't even kiss his wives and here he was, pressing his lips against yours as if it was something he was used to do doing.

He hadn't kissed anyone since…

Since…

Lucille.

Taking a deep breath, you run after him. Once you catch up to him, Negan looks down at you, not bothering to slow down his strides which simply irritated you.

"Damn it, stop." You tell him, grabbing his arm. Once you reach the floor of both your rooms, you look up at him.

Why did he look guilty? Why did he look like kissing wasn't natural, despite it being a spur of a moment type of thing? Fuck. He's staring at me.

"You better get to your fucking room. We shouldn't have even been outside in the first goddamn place." Negan tells you. You see that he was now building a wall around himself, putting up his usual "merciless leader" façade.

"Don't you think I should be the one that's angry? Not you? You kissed me, okay?! I'm just as shocked as you are!"

You size yourself up, staring at him with the same amount of irritation.

"You're the fucking enemy. You were just some pussy that I wanted. That's all you'll ever be to me. Tomorrow, clean your shit out of your room. I'm moving you to a different floor. This floor… It's reserved for my wives and for myself. No one else."

His words stung and you didn't know why.

A few of his wives step out of their room to see what the commotion was about. When Amber spots the both of you, she had to simply narrow her eyes. Oh, she was definitely going to plot against you.

You laugh, tightening your jaw.

"You know what, I'll happily fucking do that, Negan."

You begin walking away, trying to cover up the tears that were clouding at your eyes. When he notices that his wives were watching, he smirks, making it his mission to further embarrass you.

"How does it fucking feel to be rejected by another man, doll? It doesn't feel too good, does it?"

You turn around, wiping your eyes when you feel a tear slip through your fingers and down your cheek. Negan takes notice of it and instantly feels a pang of guilt at the sight of your tears. He was the cause of your pain and he immediately regretted the words he just said when he heard a few giggles from his wives.

"Fuck you, Negan. I wasn't the one who kissed the other person, was I?"

You look up to see his wives with slightly shocked faces, especially Amber's. That's when it clicked. He probably had a rule about no lip-to-lip kissing with his wives.

"You kissed her?" Amber says, stepping out of her room with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Get the fuck into your room. All of you!" Negan orders and all women hurry inside, including Amber but not without a glare in your direction.

You walk into your room, beginning to pack your clothes before you change into a pair of jeans and slip on a bra. You set your photograph safely inside your bag before curling up on the chair. You hug your bag close to your chest, shutting your eyes tightly.

You shouldn't have gotten so comfortable in a place that caused you and your old group so much trouble.

Why the fuck am I crying? It's not like I liked the guy. Did I? Shit, no. I couldn't. He killed Glenn and Abraham. I'd be crazy to fucking want him. But I can't explain why I'm crying. I can't explain why I wanted him to kiss me again. Damn it.

Suddenly, Negan storms into your room and looks at you with clear anger in his features. He turns the lamp on to look at you – it reminded him of the morning he and Rick found you in a fetal position in the bathroom.

"Get out," you tell him, wiping your eyes.

"This room fucking belongs to me, doll. With that being said, I can be here whenever I fucking please."

You tighten your jaw, looking away from him.

"Don't talk to me anymore, Negan. I'm working for points from now on. You broke me. Good fucking job. Now get the hell out of this room."

Negan wanted to apologize, wanted to wipe away your tears, but he couldn't. He crossed a line that he was sure he couldn't come back from.

"You're going to wish you were dead, doll. Working for points will be your fucking worst nightmare, trust me." Negan stands, beginning to walk out of your room before he hears your last words.

"I don't trust you. I never will."

He narrows his eyes, slamming your door shut and walking to his bedroom. He needed to alleviate his anger and the only answer were his wives.

You stand up, pulling a flannel over your jacket. You were going to leave this place and if it meant that you would die trying, then so be it. It was better than living in Negan's presence.

Suddenly, you hear moans echoing the walls. This was the perfect time to leave. You shut your eyes, pulling the hood over your head and quietly descending each floor. Once you step outside, you tighten the straps of your bag and notice that the men who were keeping watch had fallen asleep.

Dumbasses.

You notice a hole in the fence that maintenance must have missed before climbing through it, pushing off the walkers with your forearms. Once you were outside the fences, you begin running. Your figure was merely a shadow that one could mistake for a walker. As you enter the woods, you breathe a sigh of relief and continue running.

By morning, you would be far from the Sanctuary as possible. You hadn't packed any food and you certainly didn't have a weapon, so hopefully you could find an empty house of some sort that you could scavenge.

As you continue running, you feel the most free in a such a limited world.

Nothing was going to stop you without a fight.