A/N: I don't own Twilight or The Bad Mother's Handbook. I'm just perving up characters for shiggles. This story is rated M for a very good reason .
Thank you so much to my lovely betas, Rosmarina and Bookgeek80, who spank me hard.
Chapter 8 – Water Aerobics and Nan
Theme song – Hungry Like the Wolf by Duran Duran
After relieving my tension, I decided to follow Emmett's advice. I set up Twitter and Gmail accounts, in case I met some nice girls on the internet. Nan had good advice with regard to girls: always be a gentleman and give the lady lots of compliments. I wasn't sure how to approach them, but I quickly found out through my online conversations that women seemed to like it when I said "Hello" and introduced myself. Many commented that they liked my picture too. That was a confidence boost! I felt so emboldened as my alter ego. Eventually, I said a few cheeky things to the ladies and practiced my awful Italian. I think I even made the girls who didn't speak Italian swoon a bit as well.
I had learnt some italiano back when we went to Tuscany on holiday. I tried to speak to the Italian girls but they didn't seem to care for me. They would just look at me and tell me to go away. At least I think that's what they were saying. Instead, I practiced with the little old ladies when I went on my daily walks. They would always pinch my cheeks and tell me what good boy I was. They always made me smile.
That evening I started my water aerobics class. I was fortunate to have a pool just a short walk away from my dormitory on upper campus. I changed into my long swim shorts and t-shirt out in the open of the empty men's locker room. I couldn't wait to hear the music and feel the burn in my muscles from a thorough low-impact workout. To be honest, I wanted to be fit and look good for Bella in case she ever saw me naked.
To impress my new Twitter friends, I told them that I wore a yellow Speedo swimsuit but the reality was that I had stopped wearing one of those about the time I turned thirteen and began getting acne and body hair. Nan always tried to get me to wear my Speedo because she said it made my bum look cute but I just couldn't do it. I've never had any confidence in my appearance. For inspiration though, I keep a picture of a man in a yellow Speedo in my scrapbook. I hoped that someday I will look like that and have some confidence.
As I walked out of the locker room I looked around and noticed that this crowd was much younger than what I was used to when took Nan to the community pool back 'home'. As I started to climb into the water, I saw her. In a beautiful white swimsuit, Bella stood looking at the flotation weights in confusion. I could have stared at her barely clad derriere and naked thighs all day but I didn't want to get a throbbing erection. More importantly, I didn't want to ogle Bella's delectable body in her vulnerable state of semi undress without her permission. Time to make your move Daniel.
I got out and quickly walked around the pool. As I stopped in front of her I said, "Ta da!"
She looked up at me with a smile. "Oh Daniel, hello! I am surprised to see you here. This is my first time." She then whispered, "I'm a little nervous."
"There's no need to be, really. You will be sore at first but you'll be fine tomorrow." I nodded and assured her. I grabbed a couple of float weights for each of us. Look her in the eye, Daniel. Whatever you do, don't look down!
"I don't know what I'm doing. I-I don't know how to do this." She said with a nervous laugh. Think of Emmett's cobra, think of Emmett's cobra. I grabbed a float weight just in case and accidentally rammed it straight into my groin. Bollocks! That takes care of that problem.
I tried to be charming. "It would be my honor to guide you through your first time." Do not stare at her beautiful breasts, Danny Boy. Don't even look at them. Wait, now I am calling myself that?
She looked around the pool. "OK, where do you want to do it?" Deep end! So I can't see your gorgeous body and watch your Tuscan melons bouncing around. Good heavens, to taste such sweet fruit!
I gestured towards the back of the class. "I like to go deep. It feels more thorough that way."
"In this end?" she asked.
I nodded with a shy smile and adjusted my glasses.
We both climbed in the pool. "This is wonderful!" Bella moaned.
I closed my eyes. "Oh God! It feels so good…so warm and wet." I bet her nipples are really hard right now.
We started our warm up exercises and Bella kept staring at my squishy arms. Fortunately, they were mostly covered up with my t-shirt.
"You have nice arms, Daniel. You must work out a lot." I was instantly flushed.
"Oh," I winced and cleared my throat. "Not really, I just started soccer and…um…I suppose it's from years of lifting my Nan in and out of her scooter. I used to take her swimming but they didn't have one of those lifts like they have over there that helps people get in and out of the pool." I pointed towards the handy contraption.
"Oh aren't you sweet!"
I sucked in some air. "Well, she was my Nan and she liked to swim so…" I let out a breath of air and trailed off. "I took her where ever she wanted to go. We had so much fun together. She was my best friend, you know. Nan and I used to have great fun going to water aerobics back in Guildford, so I have pretty good stamina."
Bella smiled her radiant smile and looked like she was about say something, but at that point we saw the instructor scowling at us so we started paying attention.
After about an hour of pumping and bouncing to the music - it was ABBA night – class was over and everyone was meandering out of the pool. I decided to be bold.
"Bella, it is getting dark outside. May I walk you back to your dormitory?" I asked.
"Um...I don't want to inconvenience you; I still need to dry my hair."
"It's right on my way. I have a book to occupy me and I don't mind waiting at all," I added.
"Well, yeah! That would be great. Thank you. I'll hurry up."
"Please take your time," I added and gestured towards the women's locker room.
I felt myself becoming engorged as I watched the water dripping off her bottom when she climbed out of the pool. As she turned around and smiled I saw her erect nipples pointing at me. My mouth instinctively opened and I was once again hard as steel. It was a good thing I was able to walk in the opposite direction, away from the rest of the class.
I was never so thankful as I was right then that, as usual, there were no other men in my water aerobics class. I immediately stripped off my wet t-shirt and shorts, wrung them out, and folded them on the bench. I grabbed my Axe body wash and started lathering myself up in the shower paying special attention to my cash and prizes. With the hot water blasting down on my back, I pumped my shaft roughly until I was raw and satiated.
I was thrilled that not only did Bella and I have biology together, but I would also see her twice a week at the pool. Afterward, I could walk her home to make sure she was safe. I would have to remember to wank before classes though, to keep my arousal under control.
After drying off, I walked out into the hallway and waited for Bella. She came out wearing her track suit and with her hair still wet. She smelled like my dandruff shampoo which I found quite tantalizing.
"Ready?" she asked.
"Yes of course, but didn't you want to dry your hair?"
"Nah!" She put her hand on my arm and shook her head. "I didn't want to make you wait."
I inhaled deeply, taking in her scent.
"Bella, I don't want you to catch a cold." I knew that was a myth but I didn't want her to get a chill on my behalf.
"It's not that far to walk and it isn't even that cold. Come on, let's go."
We walked in silence for a bit. I suspected that she was feeling very tired but relaxed from our workout.
"So, you have seborrheic dermatitis as well?"
"What?" She giggled.
I replied, "Seborrheic dermatitis. The common, inflammatory skin condition that causes flaky scales to form on oily parts of the body such as the scalp and groin."
"You mean dandruff? Yeah, if I don't use Head & Shoulders I get it pretty bad." She fluffed her hair. I was thrilled that we had this skin condition in common.
"Oh mine is so bad that I use prescription strength Pyrithione zinc. That's the active ingredient, you know."
"Really? I didn't know that. Can you let me try a little of your prescription shampoo and see if it works on me?"
"Oh, I can't do that. That would be illegal. It clearly says on the bottle that it is unlawful to share prescriptions," I said as we reached her dormitory. I hated to deny her but it was the law.
"Um…alright." Bella looked perplexed. "Well, I'd better get inside. Thank you for walking me home."
"Anytime Bella, I would be happy to walk you home after aerobics class or any other time. In fact, if you're studying in the library and it gets late, please give me a call. Really, I don't mind at all. I love to go for brisk walks." I showed her my new cell phone. I was so proud to be on the 'family plan'.
She poked me in the arm. "Thanks Daniel, that's really sweet of you! I just might take you up on that."
"Oh God, please do," I said desperately. I wanted to kiss her so badly, but all did was adjust my glasses and bid her farewell. I really didn't think my advances would even be welcome. Besides, even if they were I needed to take her out on a proper date first, just like Nan always said.
The rest of the week went great. Classes were keeping us all busy and I enjoyed many lovely meals with my new friends and acquaintances. I was even enjoying soccer practices with Emmett. He was always patient with his team of misfits.
I made sure to pack along little sandwich bags of nuts and fruits for our after practice snack. I couldn't afford to keep eating $10 cookies. More importantly, I tried to feed Emmett snacks that were especially rich in antioxidants to help combat any free radicals that might be floating in his system. He might have had a fear of germs at the salad bar, but as long as it was well-preserved or well-cooked he would eat pretty much anything. All that meat and prepackaged food products couldn't be too good for him.
Bella and I didn't have a chance to talk very much but we seemed to fall into a comfortable routine of sitting next to each other in biology and going to water aerobics. I really wanted to be her friend. Actually, I really, really wanted to be her extra special friend but I had to hold back a little so I didn't come off like the needy, lonely exchange student that I was. Still, I felt quite jealous about the daily phone calls she had with Emmett. Emmett was a happy guy but when Bella was on the phone his face would light up even more brightly and he giggled like a schoolgirl at all their private jokes. What were they talking about?
On Friday evening as we were watching Dr. Phil, Emmett's phone rang.
"Hey baby girl."
"Not much. I'm so fucking tired from this week."
"Yeah, college is exhausting. I am too tired for sex tonight, honey."
Emmett started giggling like a little girl.
"You know you do!"
Emmett continued to giggle like a little girl.
"Fuck, you have a Hell of a mouth on you, you now that?"
"I dunno. She and Alice went to see some horror film on the Ave. You know I can't handle that gory shit."
"Yeah."
"Yeah, I would have to climb in with Danny Boy and have him hold me all night."
Emmett laughed so hard he was grabbing his crotch, presumably to keep from urinating in his pants. I was consumed with envy.
"Just come over and we'll make it a love sandwich. He looks hungry." He said as he looks at me and smiles.
"Hurry up tonight is enchilada night…OK, see you in a few."
Emmett hung up the phone and turned to me. "Bella's coming over to take us out to dinner."
Bella looked flustered when she arrived and I immediately saw why. Jessica was right behind her.
"Hello Bella!" I said with an enthusiastic smile.
"Hey Daniel, I am glad you're here!" Bella looked genuinely happy to see me. My heart was soaring.
I turned. "Good evening Jessica." I didn't particularly care for the girl, but I still wanted to be cordial and she had warmed up to me a bit over the week.
Emmett grabbed Bella in a quick bear hug. "I missed you, Baby Girl!"
"You saw me yesterday in class." She replied dryly.
"Yeah, but it wasn't a social visit. Besides, I'm lonely for some sexy female companionship since my girlfriend abandoned me for the evening," Emmett pouted. Hmmm, Emmett really flirts a lot. I should try that out with the ladies on the internet.
"Well, you'll just have to settle for me." Bella rolled her eyes.
"Hey beautiful, there is no setting for nothing in my world." He kissed her on the cheek and squeezed her again. Emmett then turned to Jessica and gave her a quick, solemn "Hey."
In that moment, Bella walked over and bumped my shoulder
"Are you hungry?"
"Oh yes, I'm hungry like a wolf."
"Then let's go get you fed!" she wrapped her hand around my arm.
"What's that? Are those toys?" Jessica was perusing my shelves.
"Um…just a few of my favorite action figures," I sighed.
After staring at them a few moments she blurted out "Oh my God. Who is the old lady? Is that your Grandma?"
"That's Daniel's Nan and she's a sweet lady," Emmett jumped in, and I was incredibly grateful.
I looked at the carpet. "Actually, she was a sweet lady. She died a few weeks ago," I said quietly while rubbing my eyes under my glasses.
Emmett put a hand on my shoulder. "Oh dude, I'm sorry…I didn't realize."
"Oh, that's too bad," Jessica offered with fake sincerity.
Bella shifted behind me and put her hands on my arms. "I am so sorry, Daniel," she gently said. She started rubbing up and down but I was too sad to savor the feeling of her big warm hands. I would have to think about those later.
"Your Nan sounded like a terrific lady," she quietly spoke. She must have been remembering out conversation in the pool.
"Yeah," I smiled. "Come on let's go grab some dinner before Emmett faints from hypoglycemia."
"I'm not hungry. I just tagged along to keep you guys company," offered Jessica.
"Gee thanks! Where is Douche Bag, anyways?" Emmet stared at the wall.
"MIKE," she emphasized, "is at a fraternity function tonight!"
"Uh huh. What a shame!" They glared at each other narrowed eyes and I could almost hear the whistling sound of a standoff from an old western film.
Bella quickly dragged me out of the room and I willingly let her. She could pull me in any direction she wanted and I would gladly follow. Tonight however, I couldn't wait to show her our beautiful salad bar. I was also secretly grateful to Jessica for occupying Emmet so that I could have a few moments alone with Bella.
After grabbing our enchiladas, we set our plates down and walked over to the veggie buffet.
"Look Bella, we have three kinds of lettuce: Romaine, Spinach, and mixed greens!"
I could tell she was impressed. She piled her spinach and mixed greens high with garbanzo beans, peas, chopped eggs and… bacon bits. YESSS! I knew I was right. She even put three of those cute little baby corns on the side. Seeing her conscientious attention to protein made me adore her even more.
"This is great, Daniel!" she exclaimed.
"You should come over anytime. I would be happy to escort you if you ever needed company." Perhaps next time I would offer to make it for her. Maybe it was because of her impromptu visit for dinner, or the fact that I was feeling extremely libidinous, but I was feeling quite confident that I could make her the perfect salad if she wanted me to. I knew that if she would give me the chance, I could prepare a smorgasbord of oral delights for her. I would take all the time it needed to get it just right.
As always I made a little rainbow of veggies on my plate and poured on a bit of Italian dressing. Jessica's salad consisted of spinach, chopped eggs, and no dressing. How can that possibly be enough to sustain her?
I looked over at Emmett and saw him staring down at his hot beef enchilada. Bella glanced over at the same time and read my mind.
"Yo, Hot Stuff! Get your ass over here and eat something raw!" Bella's potty mouth simultaneously shocked, intrigued, and thrilled me.
Emmett pushed his chair back while still looking down and slowly walked over, looking like a petulant child. He made a small salad of romaine lettuce and smothered it in ranch dressing. On the side he had some red gelatin.
"Would you like to try some baby corn? They are really cute and tasty!" I smiled, trying to look encouraging. I whispered, "You know the items in the back have less chance of being touched by anyone, and the sneeze guards here make it impossible for anybody to breathe on it."
"Yeah…Alright. I'll try one." He sounded wary. "Throw a couple on the plate." he said as if his masculinity was being challenged.
We all sat down and enjoyed our hearty meal. Well, in the case of Jessica, it was a very light meal. There was nothing like watching Bella lick cheese off her lips.
"Man these are cute!" Emmett held up his baby corn and plopped it in his mouth. He continued with his mouth full, "Mmm…tasty". Four items from the salad bar down, ninety six more to go!
"Do you guys know how much fat and calories are in those enchiladas?" Jessica said out of nowhere, staring at our plates.
"Um…No?" I replied in question.
"Oh God, here we go!" Emmett dropped his fork.
"That shit is not good for you. Bella, you really shouldn't be eating that." Jessica turned to me and smiled, "So Daniel, how are you liking Seattle? Biology is so hard, isn't it?"
"Um…" I didn't know what to say and I really didn't want to have this conversation with her. "Biology is great. The lectures are fascinating and I have a terrific laboratory partner. The best, actually." I smiled at Bella and her face went from cloudy to partly sunny. "And Seattle is lovely, I have been making some wonderful new friends," I continued as I kept looking at Bella and glanced over at Emmett. He put his fist out like he was going to hit me but he smiled. I quickly recognized it as a "bro-fist" and bumped it back. Yay, I just got fisted!
The rest of our meal was fairly quiet after that but the girls refused to join Emmett and I for dessert. How could they deny themselves a piece of creamy lemon cake?
That night when we were nestled in bed, I decided to broach the unspoken topic.
"Emmett, I don't mean to be intrusive but what's wrong with Jessica?"
"She's a toxic bitch."
"What? Why?"
"You know the type. She's got really low self-esteem. She needs to pick at what she perceives as other girl's vulnerabilities to feel good about herself. She is a supportive when Bella is having a hard time but as soon as something good happens to Bella, Jessica subtly puts her down. And every fucking time she's called on it, she uses the excuse 'I just care about you,'" he added in a high pitched voice.
"That's awful." She sort of reminded me of my own mum.
"I just wish Bella would realize this and kick her to the curb. You can imagine how pissed I was that Bella and Jessica became roommates. Whenever I try to talk about it with her, Bella is all 'but she's there for me when I'm down.'" Was Bella down often?
"Of course, that's only when it's convenient for Jessica. It's not like Bella is always down or anything, but she had a hard time when she broke up with her boyfriend last summer. Rose and Alice went to Europe and I was fishing up in Alaska with my uncle so we weren't there in Forks with her." Emmett started chuckling. "Plus, I guess it hurt her feelings when we called him the 107 year old virgin, but dude, we couldn't help it. He was so fucking annoying." Who was this guy? I was dying of curiosity.
I didn't want to be obvious with my affection for Bella, so I didn't press that point.
"Bella seems like a very nice, intelligent girl and I'm sure she can sort out the situation," I offered.
"Man, I hope so because I hate having Jessica around," he said.
"I can't say I blame you, mate."
Emmett knocked on the bunk. "Hey, thanks for being so sweet to Bella."
"No need to thank me, she's a wonderful girl!" I added enthusiastically.
"Yeah, she fucking is. I tend to go all grizzly bear in my protectiveness of her."
That night I kept thinking about Bella's large beautiful hands. I tried to make my left hand go numb by holding it under my bum. This way I could hold my penis and pretend that is was her. I couldn't make any movements since Emmett was lying below me, but it was still comforting. I fell asleep with my hand in my pants pondering the fact that even if I could earn Bella's affection, I had to be deemed worthy by Emmett.
A/N: You ever go to water aerobics? Did you know a girl like Jessica back in high school or college? Man, I sure did!
Links to blogs and goodies on the main page. This week we have Daniel's take on Oscar fashions, the official drink of the Danielgaleh00rs, and the infamous Lick-Me-Daniel knickers. The Scrapbook has been updated with pictures of Bella and Daniel's swim suits.
This week I would like to give a huge thanks to Kristi28 who chose this story and hosted it for The Fic Bridge blog #readalong! The super AWESOME set up this blog to host readalongs on Twitter. They are like a reading party and lots of fun! Check them out for a schedule of events. (linked on main page)
I would also like to thank Sue (Roselover24) over at the So You Think You Can Write blog for her interview. (linked on main page)
* Feel free to email me with questions.*
Thank you so much for your lovely reviews!
