Chapter 9: Change
Bonnie's pov
I sat up and rubbed my eyes, the morning light streamed through my window.
All the moments from last night, came rushing back in my head. How Damon caressed my cheek, and looked into my eyes as if it was the last time.. It was so awkward..
I yawned and stood up, I walked down the hallway and noticed Damon's door.. It was closed..?
He usually left it open.. I shurgged in my mind, and went downstairs.
I decided to just have some cereal, it was 9 AM, Damon usually woke earlier.. Today for some reason felt different.. Like something bad was happening.. I didn't know why?
I sat at the table eating.. Feeling as alone as ever.. Why did everything seem so different?
I finished my food, and went to wash my dish, when Damon came down the stairs and in the kitchen.
"Good morning, Damon." I said smiling softly.. Hoping he was okay.
He didn't make eye contact with me, and mumbled, "Morning."
He seemed.. sad or depressed.. I felt like asking, but didn't want to push.
I just sighed, and continued to wash my dish, why was he grumpy?
Why was he acting like this today?
"Hey, Da-" I turned around to only find an empty bowl and the cereal on the table.. He already ate and went back upstairs..
"Well.." I mumered under my breath, and washed his dish, and put everything away.
Knowing his attidue today, I was going to vist Meredith. I went upstairs, and found his door open thankfully.
He was watching TV, "Damon, I'm heading to Meredith's you want-"
"No, you just go." He replied dryly.
I bit my lip and nodded, I went to my room and closed my door.
Why was he acting this way? Ignoring me? Cutting me off? What was up?
I just shook the thought away and took a shower quickly and got dressed in, a red plaid top and some skinny jeans and converse.
I decided to braid my hair today on two sides, long curls fell softly on my face, it was different. Something I needed.
I walked down the hallway, Damon was now in the kitchen looking out the window.
"Damon?"
He didn't turn around he only said, "See you later."
I softly scoffed and walked out the door, what the hell was his problem?
All I knew was that my mind was burning with fury. I walked towards Meredith's house, thankfully her parents weren't home.
I didn't have to explain why I wasn't out of town looking for a suitable college as my mother was saying.
I rang the doorbell, and Meredith appeard in a baby blue tank top and her long back hair fell in waves.
"Hey, Bonnie! Come in." She said opening the door more.
I stepped in, and sighed. Her house gave me so many memories with Elena and how everything was normal before.. How we has sleepovers and chatted about gossip and boys and lipstick.
"Where's Damon? I would expect him to come with you." She said sitting on the couch next to me.
"Um, no.. He didn't want to come.. He's been.. Well only today, he's been kinda grumpy.. Cold." I said, not making eye contact with her.
I could feel her shrug her eyebrows together, "I told you! Now this guy is being cold with you, after you've been watching his human ass. Bonnie, you shouldn't-"
"Mere, just leave it.. We were friends," I said looking at her, "We bonded, we talked.. He trusted me and I trusted him.. He promised.." I said trailing off.. Remembering how he promised to never change with me.. It only just reminded me that things don't last forever.. And that promises could be broken just as easy as they were made.
Meredith stayed quiet then broke the silence, "Com'on lets get something to drink."
10 mins later
"So, he just woke up and ignored you. Completely?" Meredith asked, we now sat at the kitchen counter, drinking lemonade.
I nodded slowly, "Yeah.. I don't get it, last night he.. He was so sweet with me these past days we've been together and learning more about eachother.. And then bam! He just changes over night."
She bit her lip and sighed, "I don't know, Bonnie... I told you tho, you can't reley on Damon. He always plays with emotions, you should know this by now."
"Meredith stop saying I told you so! I know it already! How the hell do you think I feel? You haven't even cared to call or visit, and you don't know anything about Damon! I've gotten to know him, he's opened up to me in ways no one could understand! Stop thinking he's the enemy! We all know he's not.. You're the only one that doesn't trust him!" I snapped.
She looked at me in shook, and bit her lip furiously.. "Look, don't yell at me. You really think you know everything about him? Well guess what, you don't Bonnie! You've only been with him for three days!"
"It doesn't matter! God, you know what just drop it. I'll see you later." I said dryly. I stood up and stormed out of her house, slamming the door.
I hated everyone right now. I hated how everyone thought I didn't know anything, I hated being second choice towards everyone.
I couldn't believe anyone, or couldn't trust anyone.. No one understood what I felt right now.. I felt betrayed, used, just a source for comfort..
why did he break the promise? He told me, he gave me his word that he wouldn't change.. He would still be my friend no matter what.
I walked all the way back to the bording house, to find the driveway empty.. Damon's black Ferrari was nowhere in sight.
'He went out?' I thought confused.
I went inside and sighed, I rested my back on the door for a couple of mintues. My mind was spinning, I had a terrible headache.
I went to my bathroom, and took some pills. And went back downstairs.
I sat on the couch, with nothing to do.. I now felt sorta bad for Meredith.. maybe I shouldn't have lashed out on her.. But still, my emotions were just at the tip of my fingers.
I rubbed my forehead softly.
Soon it was 7 PM, here I was just sitting in the living room watching TV. What a wonderful life.
The door opened and Damon walked in, his eyes sparkled as he glanced at me.
I decided to give him his own medicene, I ignored him and kept my eyes locked on the TV.
"You're back." He said.
"Yeah. You are too, I see." I answered dryly.
He bit his lip, "Goodnight." And he went upstairs..
As soon as he did, tears burst out of my eyes.. I began to sob quietly, trying my best to hide it.
WHY? Why did he change.. I've never felt so alone in my life..
Then this thought hit me.. I knew someday Damon would have a good life, I knew he would be a sun in someone else's sky, but why.. Why, why can't it be mine? Why couldn't he be with me... I never even got the chance to see if he loved me.. or if I even loved him.. I knew I cared about this man deeply.. but just loving Damon seemed so.. surreal.. So strange, and different, and just being in his arms and feeling his lips all made my heart flutter.. But now, I knew that couldn't be.. He would never happen.. He pushed me away, is this what he wanted? Did he want to push me away?
It was all a question mark, I couldn't seem to reach..
But yet I was grateful for the break in my heart right now, I was grateful for every scar that was forming, because it all reminded me that what Damon and I had these past days.. It was real, it was something that made me feel beautiful, happy, careless...
I was somehow unbinding something in Damon.. But now he just binded back together..
I sniffed, and stood up and shut off the TV. I needed to hold my head up, get past this as fast as I could..
I walked upstairs, Damon's door was closed... I let out a soft breath and went in my room.
I changed in my PJs and crawled in bed, it was only 8 PM, but I didn't care.. I just cried myself to sleep that night, thinking of all the short memories I had with Damon.. Even if it was just three days with him, it felt like it was years.. It felt as if every touch, and ever hug was a spark of electricity.. Everything mattered.. Just when you thought you had it all, it all falls apart..
I closed my eyes tight, and my final thought was "I wish we could've loved eachother at the same time.." And I fell into a deep slumber..
