Warnings for this chapter: Epiphanies! Evil threats! LATIN! Child abuse!
Disclaimer: We do not in any way, shape, or form condone child abuse. It is a horrible thing, and the people who abuse are sick, sick fucks.
Chapter 8—Friends
July 12, 2013—The Dark Order, Asian Branch
The halls were as familiar to Allen as they had been 117 years ago, when he had been found, Innocence broken and dying, by Fou, the Guardian Deity of the Asian Branch and for some reason, so were the people.
"Bak?" He asked, stunned as he looked upon the face of the Exorcist who had greeted him.
"Bak?" Lenalee asked a moment later, her expression disbelieving. Abruptly, Allen realized what was wrong. Bak hadn't been an Exorcist, nor had he been in his younger twenties. Hadn't he been nearly thirty?
The Exorcist asked something in Chinese, but Allen blinked. He didn't know Chinese. He was immediately thankful that Lenalee had forced her way onto this mission, because Amanda and Lolek looked just as clueless next to him.
Lenalee responded in the same language, and after a moment, the two Chinese Exorcists were chattering in their own private language. After a while, Lenalee turned to Allen.
"This is Bak Chan, the third," she said. "It looks like his great-grandfather finally got over me and eventually had kids. I don't know how that makes him the third generation Bak, but I imagine someone skipped a generation of the name. Perhaps it was his father… Anyway, he says the Director of this branch is out on business, so we'll have to wait a bit before we can take the Exorcists back to the Main Branch."
Allen nodded in acknowledgment. "Can you tell him to find a place to put us, and we'll get to know the Exorcists as they come back from their missions." Lenalee nodded and turned to the Chinese Exorcist.
They were placed in four separate rooms, but Allen knew he and Lenalee wouldn't be sleeping separately. The only time she had left his side was when she was looking after Lavi, and he had been there for most of that time anyway. He was immensely grateful, as he wasn't sure how strong he still was, and he couldn't take much more of the Noah of Music singing in his head, anyway. After getting situated, Allen and Lenalee meandered down the halls of the Asian Branch, trying to get her used to the place again. Allen knew that she'd been there before, but she had been very young at the time, and her memories were marred by the death of her parents and the separation from her brother. They walked close together, and without realizing it, they began to hold hands. Allen's heart surged happily the entire time, and he felt far giddier than he had since Mana had died.
He tensed and his step faltered as he felt an arm snake around his neck. He jumped at the voice in his ear, soft but menacing.
"What, pray tell, are you doing with my sister?" Lolek whispered.
Allen jumped, a shiver running down his spine. He knew full well that Lolek disliked him. Violently. And the man had suddenly become very brotherly toward Lenalee, making Allen wonder if he was Komui reincarnated—or at least channeling the dead man.
"Oh, Lolek!" Lenalee exclaimed, and she gave him a one-armed hug, not letting go of Allen's hand, effectively putting the three of them in a triangle formation. Noting the man's dangerous expression, she added, "what's wrong?" Immediately, her face scrunched with worry, and Allen wanted nothing more than to smooth it out again.
Lolek cleared his throat and pointed at their joined hands. In an instant, Lenalee and Allen had sprung apart, both blushing from head to foot.
"I – I'm sorry, Allen! I didn't even realize – I hope you don't mind! I'm sorry!" Lenalee shouted, looking horrified.
"Me too! I'm sorry, Lenalee. I didn't mean to make you—"
"Oh, no, the fault's all mine!"
Beside them, Lolek chuckled, muttering something about Miranda, but in his haste to apologize to Lenalee, he missed it.
"Anyway, Lolek, it's okay, because I love Allen!" Lenalee said brightly. Allen blushed deeply, and he suddenly realized that he wanted to hear those words again.
"What?" Lolek and Allen said simultaneously, though the former's exclamation had been in German.
"Yes, Allen's my best friend!" Lenalee said, blushing as she realized her mistake. Allen felt a bit disappointed, but he tried his best to hide it. Lolek shot him an understanding look, and Allen knew he had failed. At least the Polish man seemed to have calmed, though. He thanked God for small blessings.
"Ah, sorry, Allen. My bad." Lolek said, hugging the smaller boy into his broad chest.
"…Allen?"
Allen froze. He knew that voice. He knew it as well as Lenalee's or his Master's or Mana's. It was the voice of the one who had helped him restore his Innocence. His face broke out into a wide grin. Sure enough, as he looked over, he saw the red-haired, purple-outfitted Guardian Deity of the Asian Branch.
"Fou!" He shouted, running from the awkward situation to greet his longtime friend.
"Allen!" She shouted, running toward him as well. At the last second, she jumped, and Allen was suddenly thrown back as her foot met his face. He flew past Lenalee and Lolek, who stared on in utter shock, and he went sprawling on the ground. "How ya doin'?" She walked up to him, offering one of her overlarge hands.
"I was fine until you kicked my face in," Allen said weakly before blacking out.
He awoke with a start, breath coming in an audible gasp. The room was dark, and Allen mentally floundered for a moment, trying to catch his mind up with what had happened. Lenalee sighed next to him, and he looked down in shock. He was dressed in simple, Chinese-style pajamas on a soft bed with silk sheets. They were far more comfortable than the 150-count sheets he had grown used to at the Main Branch. The comfort itself was almost enough to draw him back into sleep, but something about how sweet and innocent Lenalee's form seemed kept him from submitting. Her features were so soft, carrying none of the constant worry that marred them during the day. He knew he had placed a lot of those worries on her, and he felt a surge of guilt for it. He pulled the girl tighter to him, and she snuggled deeper into his arms.
Epiphany came quickly, connections clicking abruptly into place. I'm in love with Lenalee, he thought to himself. But he couldn't tell her. He had known for a while that his chances of survival in this war were slim to none, and though he would continue to keep walking forward, as he had promised Mana, he would never do a thing to hurt Lenalee. He knew that Lenalee would be destroyed at his death if their relationship got any deeper. She had been devastated the first time she had thought him dead. He couldn't do that to her again, ever. He wasn't even sure she would be able to survive his death now, with their explicitly trusting friendship. He knew that he was the only one who had been able to keep her going toward the end of the war, what with so many dying, Exorcist and Finder alike. If they became anything more—Allen refused to name that relationship for fear he would lose his resolve—Lenalee would die along with him, and that was the one thing he could never stand.
He sighed soulfully and lowered his head, placing a kiss on the crown of Lenalee's head. Her hair smelled like orchids, and Allen breathed it in like a drunkard inhaled alcohol. Lenalee's scent reminded him of spring, just as the girl did. There was no real explanation for it, just one of those irrational thoughts that sprung to his mind. If he had to put a song to her, it would be one of Vivaldi's Four Seasons violin concerto, "Spring." It was so… perfect for her. "I love you," he sighed against her hair, pulling her ever closer. She moaned lightly in her sleep, tightening her arms around Allen for a moment. Allen felt the grasping fingers of sleep pulling him in, and this time he did not resist. His dream, as so many of his, contained music, but it was Vivaldi's "Spring," and all around him was a gentle breeze ushering in the scent of the orchids that surrounded him.
July 13, 2013—The Dark Order, Asian Branch
It was the screaming that woke him up. He looked out the window to see the sun high in the sky. He was surprised he had slept that long; he usually only slept till eight or nine at the latest. Next to him, Lenalee turned so she was facing Allen as she had been the previous night, and Allen grabbed her in his arms without thinking, leaning his head down to smell her orchid hair again. The screaming began again, and Allen cursed softly as Lenalee stirred again, opening her eyes against his bare chest. He felt the eyelashes tickling at his skin and suppressed a shiver.
"Allen?" Lenalee asked, pulling back so she could see him properly. Allen resisted the urge to bring his lips down on hers, instead pulling her into their ritual morning embrace. He smiled as her scent wafted up to his nose again.
Their door burst open. They blinked, and then jumped apart. Lenalee darted out of bed, throwing her shoes on as Allen activated the Crowned Clown.
"Hide me here," said the intruder, closing the door as quietly as he spoke. Allen looked at Lenalee, and they both blinked, not comprehending the situation. "Please," the young man said. Allen placed him as only a few years older than he was, and from the pigmentation of the man's skin, Allen knew at once that he was Indian. Reluctantly, Allen nodded, unconsciously slipping an arm around Lenalee's warm waist.
"VIKRAM MAITRA, IF YOU DO NOT SHOW YOURSELF THIS INSTANT, SO HELP ME, I'LL CASTRATE YOU WITH A SPOON!"
The Indian boy went very, very pale and backed up from the door, his mouth open in horror.
"What did you do?" Lenalee asked quietly, moving from Allen's side to usher the boy into the adjoined closet.
"Er…" The boy said, his eyes shifting from side to side. He tripped into the closet, exposing his buttocks as he fell. Allen took a double take. Coming from the low waist-band of the Indian boy's pants was a very long, braided … tail?
The Indian boy looked horror-struck and pulled it into the closet behind him, shutting the door with a small snivel. Allen decided delicately not to ask. Lenalee apparently shared his mindset and backed off until her back was to Allen's stomach. He wrapped his arms around her as was his habit.
"VIKRAM, IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME MY HAIR BACK, BY GOD, I'LL MAKE IT SO THAT YOU WILL NEVER WALK AGAIN!"
Lenalee turned to stare, shocked, into Allen's eyes. The "Vikram" in question sniveled loudly, and this time, the door was blown off its hinges, slapping into the wall and cracking it in half. A small, middle-aged woman stood in its place, holding a spear larger than her by a good third of a meter. It was a silvery-gray staff that ended in three, Innocence-glowing prongs. Allen recognized it as a dangpa, a traditional Korean weapon. The sliding door to the closet quivered with Vikram's vibratious shaking.
The woman didn't notice the shaking, but her eyes locked on the closet door the second a tiny whimper emerged from it.
"I'm sorry," she said, sparing Allen and Lenalee a glance. "I don't mean to barge in like this, but I have an Exorcist to castrate." She pulled a spoon threateningly from her back pocket. Lenalee gasped. Allen crossed his legs slightly.
The woman strode over to the closet door and pulled it open, grabbing its occupant from it in one fluid motion.
"Choon-yei! Forgive me, please! I'm so sorry!" Vikram bawled, tears and snot falling from his face. If the situation hadn't been so grave, Allen would have laughed. It was just like Kanda and Lavi, only infinitely scarier. After all, Kanda never threatened to castrate the redhead, and Allen had a sneaking suspicion that this woman meant business.
"Oh, you don't know the meaning of 'sorry' yet, boy," she said, using her Innocence to hold him to the wall as she half-pulled, half-ripped the pants from the boy. Allen opened his mouth in silent horror. Lenalee pulled herself from his arms, and within an instant, she was between the two fighting Exorcists, arms on both of their chests.
"Stop it. As a General, I order you two to cease this senseless bickering!" Lenalee shouted firmly. Allen thought it was a bit comical, as Lenalee was a good half meter shorter than Vikram and clad only in a light silk nightgown that only came halfway down her thighs. Her boots were only half on, and she couldn't have done less to stop the fight if she tried, given her current condition. Still, the Asian Exorcists stopped, Vikram with a gulp, and looked speculatively at Lenalee.
"I know of no Chinese General," the woman said harshly. Lenalee's eyes flashed with hurt, but it was gone as soon as it had appeared.
"You wouldn't have. I've only been awake for a bit over a month now, but I'm sure you've heard of my companion, Allen Walker." She gestured to Allen, and the two other Exorcists stared at him, mouths dropped to the floor.
Then, Vikram made a squeaking noise and scuttled over to Allen, throwing himself at his right leg.
"Allen Walker, save me! I love you! Please save me!" The young man clung ever tighter to his leg, and Allen felt his foot begin to go numb.
Allen swallowed hard.
"Er, could you please get off of me? You're limiting my mobility," he responded absently. He really, really did not want to deal with this situation. The woman looked offended.
"Alright, deactivate your Innocence, please, er…?" Lenalee said, though she paused at the name.
"Choon-yei Lang," the wizened woman supplied, and Lenalee continued on.
"We need to know what precipitated this event." She turned to the sniffling Exorcist, who was still on the ground at Allen's feet, though he had mercifully let go of his leg.
The boy looked up, his face a mess, and he stretched out his left arm. "Look what she did!" He shouted. Allen took a look.
"Er, why is there a band-aid on your prayer beads?" Allen asked incredulously.
"They're not prayer beads—well, they are, but they're my Innocence!" The boy cried. Fresh tears running down his face. Allen wasn't sure if they were fake or not, but then he remembered his own time in the Asian Branch and figured the young man had been very distressed at the injury to his Innocence. Allen himself had no reason to judge—hadn't he cried himself when he'd thought his Innocence destroyed and his path forever blocked from him? Allen felt his face relaxing as he pulled the other Exorcist to his feet.
"I barely scratched them," the woman scoffed, reminding Allen eerily of Kanda.
"Lies! They went rolling all over the floor! It took me four hours to find them all!"
"You could have just activated it."
"Don't mock me, woman!" He collapsed to the floor again, clutching his left arm. "I wasn't sure if it would activate, BROKEN as it was!" The boy sobbed once, tears pouring from his face. Allen thought that perhaps that was getting a bit excessive, but he still leaned down to pick the other Exorcist up, this time holding the young man in place, so he would not fall again.
"And that made you want to cut off all my hair, the hair I've been painstakingly growing since I was five!" The woman shouted back, her voice as sharp as the points on her dangpa, which, Allen noted in distress, was activated again. Reaching out with his clawed left hand, he grabbed the Innocence and pulled it from the woman's hand. He kept his right hand over the young man's prayer beads.
"It was revenge!" Vikram shouted back.
"This tiff is over," Allen said firmly. "The first incident sounds like a complete accident, which puts you in the wrong, Vikram Maitra. On the other hand, by pulling your Innocence so violently against another Exorcist, you, too, are in the wrong, Choon-yei Lang. You will both apologize to each other, and you will both be punished for your rash actions. Ms. Lang, you will assist the efforts to repair Vikram's Innocence, and Vikram, you will return the lady's hair to her. I will think up a fitting punishment for you later, after I eat. I'm about to starve to death." The long, echoing rumble that followed was testament to that fact. At that moment, though, another woman strode purposefully into the room.
"Vikram, Choon-yei! There you are! I've been looking for you. I just got back, and apparently there are two Generals from the Main Branch who are coming to bring us back with them." The woman, who was obviously Japanese and also very pretty, blinked as she saw the two Generals in question in their bedclothes, obviously in the middle of stopping a fight.
"Emiko-chan!" Vikram said, tears damming immediately. He wiped his nose on his arm—Allen fought the urge to kick him for his disgusting habit—and ran up to the other woman. Allen realized she was wearing an Exorcist jacket, and he mentally reviewed his list of active Exorcists. There were four in the Asian Branch, three in the American, and one whose father had worked in the Australian Branch until he'd discovered his compatibility with his Innocence and became an apprentice—Allen had met him already at the Main Branch. Then, in the Main Branch, there were five, and the South American Branch held two. They had all of the Exorcists they needed from this branch, so he figured that perhaps they could leave without the go-ahead of the Director. He thought a phone call would suffice.
"Hey, Vikram! What's going on? And why does Choon-yei have no hair?"
"It still goes to her chin. I didn't cut that much off," the Indian man said, sticking his tongue out jokingly.
"You're horrible," Emiko responded.
Allen paid them no attention, instead grabbing his General's jacket and his small bag of toiletries. He saw Lenalee do the same, and in silent consensus, they slipped from the room. They wouldn't be missed.
July 16, 2013—The Dark Order, Main Branch
After he had been bathed by Darcy, Lavi had switched into a persona Yuu did not know. Lavi seemed to always be spouting random facts, and his never ending chatter was dense with knowledge. Yuu didn't know if he considered this to be an improvement or not. An intellectual Lavi was certainly better than the idiot he usually had to put up with, but at least the mindless chatter had been easy to ignore. The things Lavi talked about made Yuu acutely aware of the vast intelligence of the man in front of him, and he began to feel a grudging respect for the stupid rabbit. The only problem was that the intellectual Lavi liked to speak a lot in Latin, very rarely switching back to English or Japanese. He even spoke in Russian for a day and a half, and Yuu had the distinct impression Lavi was doing it just to annoy him. The doctor had said some sort of rubbish about picking a language that was best suited to him, and Yuu had scoffed at that. If Lavi chose a language Yuu couldn't understand, he would have to flay him.
"…And in that way, the apple in Paradise Lost can really be seen as a metaphor for the sufferings of all men caused by a single mistake."
Yes, he was having roasted rabbit for dinner tonight.
He wanted to tell the man to shut up, but he feared any snide comment would break Lavi—or worse, throw him back into that apathetic despondence that had claimed him for weeks. Shaking with anger, he tried to ignore it as the other Exorcist switched back to Latin once more. As they passed Director Smith in the hallway, Lavi had chuckled a little and muttered something to Yuu that he couldn't understand.
"Pax Dómini sit semper vobís cum," Lavi sang solemnly as he approached the burly man. Smith blinked, looking shocked, and his mouth hung open a little.
"Er, et cum spíritu tuo," the man said back, though the way he intoned it sounded to Yuu as if it were merely a response formed from habit.
This was the second time Yuu had taken Lavi from his room for a walk down the halls. It was obvious to anyone who looked on that he was not the same Lavi he had been, and Yuu was immensely glad they were not in their own time period, as he wasn't sure Lavi would have survived all the pitying stares. Thankfully, no one of this time, with the exception of Amanda and Darcy, knew him well enough to really judge his behavior. If their positions had been reversed, Yuu didn't think he'd be able to stand the reaction from the others. They were too pitying. It was obvious something was wrong with Lavi, even if they didn't know him, and he wished the stupid science men and Finders would leave them the fuck alone. Lavi was under enough stress as it was.
Yuu blinked. Why was he acting like he cared? He didn't, dammit, and he never would, because caring meant that you could be hurt, and being hurt was unacceptable, because it always led to something else. Always. His heart was beating faster in his chest, and he took a calming breath as Lavi returned, eyes dancing merrily with laughter. There was a smile on his face, and though it was small, it was one of the few genuine smiles Yuu had ever seen on the other man's face. It made his heart clench a little bit—a very, very miniscule bit—that the other man could only smile properly when he wasn't really "Lavi." Of course, he was starting to realize that Lavi was just what the other man called himself now. He had mentioned it in one of his intellectual rants, the one that had included a very detailed description of the sun. Yuu still didn't understand what the man was talking about whenever he mentioned that star, but it seemed to have some importance to him, so Yuu kept it in mind.
He pulled Lavi back into the younger Exorcist's room and allowed the man to sit cheerfully at his desk writing who-knew-what on any surface that would stay still long enough. His desk was full of scribbles, ones that Yuu was forced to scrub off each night after the other man had fallen asleep.
"Lavi," he growled as he noted the fine Arabic script on the paper, "pick a language and stick with it. It's infuriating when you switch in the middle of a perfectly coherent conversation."
Lavi froze and looked at Yuu, horror-struck.
"You don't understand what I'm saying?" He asked, thankfully in English.
"Not when you don't speak English or Japanese," Yuu ground out, forcing himself to let his jaw relax.
"Oh." Lavi's eye went wide and then, all of a sudden, the intellectual persona was gone. It was as if Lavi was his true self, if only for just a moment. The intellectual persona snapped back into place, and Lavi added, "you're right. I should keep a language or two as my dominant ones, keeping the others in reserve for when they're needed. I think I'll choose English and Japanese. They're both fun to speak." The intellectual persona flickered, and in that moment, Lavi spoke again. "And besides, it's not fun when my sun can't understand me."
Yuu didn't want to think about what that meant, so he scoffed and let Lavi's intellectual persona fizzle out on its own.
August 5, 2013—The Dark Order, North American Branch
They had not left the Asian Branch for two weeks after meeting the Asian Exorcists. It wasn't for lack of trying—both Lenalee and Allen had called the Director numerous times to give them permission to leave, but the Director had not allowed it. They had allowed Amanda and Lolek to go on a quick local extermination mission with Bak, but other than that, none of them had had anything to do, and each member of their growing party had been relieved when the Director had returned and allowed them to move on.
Upon their arrival at the American Branch, they had been told that none of the three Exorcists were in residence. The third, a young, twelve-year-old girl, was at the Main Branch as an apprentice to Cyrah Kabbah. A week had passed, and still, none of them had appeared. Allen was starting to thoroughly hate this mission. Nothing happened, and the waiting was simply excruciating. He walked down the tiled halls with Lenalee. The two of them had sent the rest of the Exorcists back to the Main Branch, as the Americans were taking too long to get back from their mission. True, they were in Washington, D.C. and the other Exorcists were in Oregon, but still, Allen thought, they could at least take an airplane. Like they had done. Allen suppressed a shiver. His ears had hurt so badly that he hadn't been able to pay attention to his surroundings, a grievous thing for a General. None of the Exorcists had done well on the airplane. After all, if Akuma were on it, they would likely destroy the plane, killing everyone aboard. No one's Innocence would have been able to save them from that—they were simply too high in the air.
"Allen," Lenalee said softly, grabbing his attention. "It's nearly suppertime, shall we go?"
Becoming aware of his suddenly aching stomach, Allen nodded emphatically. They walked down the too-white hallways to the cafeteria and got in line behind a sandy-haired man. Allen noted he was missing his right hand, and it was cauterized with a gray material. Not caring about the older man's reaction, Allen reached out and grabbed it, inspecting it. Sure enough, a light green cross spread across the gray plating.
"You're an Exorcist," he said conversationally, ignoring the man's scandalized look.
"Yes, now unhand me," the man said coldly.
Allen activated his left arm, which was holding the man's right. "I am too. I believe we've been searching for you for quite a bit. Why don't we sit down together and talk?" He smiled up at the man, who ripped his stump from Allen's grip. However, he waited until Allen and Lenalee had trays of food before leading them to a table.
"You're the new Generals, eh?" He asked, shoving a large forkful of food into his mouth as Allen did the same. Both ate ravenously for a while as Lenalee spoke.
"Yes. We were sent from the Main Branch to round up all the Exorcists worldwide. Due to the Earl's recent movements, it is believed that the remaining part of the war will be in Europe. There will be extermination missions back to your branches should they be needed, but we believe that the Akuma population is also migrating to Europe. We must have our entire force together. We are only twenty-three in number, and though that is a veritable force, when placed against the Noah, countless Akuma, and the Earl himself, we are nothing. We are no longer doing any good divided. Or at least, that's what the Vatican believes. You and your comrade, who I assume is here—?" the man nodded. "—will follow us to the South American Branch, where we'll pick up the remaining two Exorcists. Then, we'll return to Headquarters and begin to plan for the rest of the war."
At that moment, a solemn, Native American man silently placed his tray next to the Canadian's and sat down. Allen gave him a curious look before going back to his food, but the man ate silently, listening to Lenalee and the other North American Branch Exorcist as they talked about the details of the war.
"I never did catch your name," Lenalee said as she took her last bite of pie.
"Oh, I'm Michel Benoit," the man said belatedly. He offered his left hand, and Lenalee shook it.
"You're a parasitic type, I assume?" She asked, though Allen knew full well that she knew the answer. It had been on their list of Exorcist information, after all. However, he had the vague suspicion that she was only asking to be polite.
"Yes. My right hand got cut off when I was in my mid-twenties, and one day, I was at Home Depot, buying myself a chainsaw, when the cashier turned into an Akuma. I think it was a level two. Anyway, my arm started glowing and hurting, and the chainsaw just sort of attached to it. Before I knew what was happening, it just started up, and I was cutting the Akuma to shreds. It blew up half the store. I ran out of there before I had to pay for the chainsaw, and after a few days, this guy—" he pointed at the stoic Native American, "—showed up, telling me I was compatible with some shit called 'Innocence,' and that I was going to be an 'Exorcist.' Next thing I knew, I was here at the North American Branch. I got picked up by a General, and ever since then, I've been slaying Akuma. Of course, I'm very glad I had been buying a chainsaw, because according to Director Smith, it could have been anything. Imagine me with a fork stuck to my arm. Real useful, eh? It could've been something a bit cooler, though. I'd have liked to have been called Captain Hook or something if I'd had a hook attached to my right hand. But no, I just constantly get referred to as Ash." He looked sullenly down at his tray, which was now empty. The man next to him snorted but showed no other outward signs of amusement.
"Ash?" Lenalee asked, curious. Allen leaned forward a bit, wanting to hear the explanation as well.
"It's from a movie," the man said, grabbing his tray and walking off.
Another snort came from the impassive man. Allen shifted his gaze to him, waiting for the other man to say something.
"Ash doesn't mind it at all," he said in a deep, accented voice. He said nothing further and ate something whose scent Allen couldn't place. He frowned and restrained himself from asking for a bite.
August 5, 2013—The Dark Order, Main Branch
Lavi wasn't there when Yuu awoke. Somehow—and Yuu didn't want to understand how it had happened—they had ended up sleeping next to each other under Lavi's warm, green blankets. Yuu vaguely remembered falling asleep in a great tangle of limbs that kept him far warmer than he could ever remember being.
But Lavi was gone, and Yuu felt colder at that moment than he should have. Because he shouldn't be feeling any warmth in the other man's presence. It was wrong. Not to mention, he hadn't been warm since that day when he was five—
Yuu shook his head. This was not the time to be thinking about unnecessary things. Lavi was missing, and he had no idea where the stupid redheaded mutt could be. Unbidden, panic clenched his heart, and it took a moment of forced meditation to make that sensation stop.
Activating Mugen, he ran from the room, acting on the panic that, dammit, he had just repressed. He ran all of five steps before realizing that he was only clad in boxers. Running back and thanking every deity he could think of that no one had seen him, Yuu threw on the first pair of pants he could find. He didn't even care that they belonged to the stupid rabbit or that they were too long and baggy to be comfortable. He rushed from the room again, gripping the hilt of his chokuto in a failed attempt to calm his racing heart. He had to find Lavi. The man had changed personas once more, spending an inordinately long amount of time as a shy, timid man who could barely face the outside world alone. Yuu was worried for the mental stability of that particular persona. It wouldn't take much for the other man to be driven to do something awful.
He didn't look where he was headed, just ran, eyes peeled for any sign of the other man. He didn't notice Darcy in the hall until he was on the floor, pinning the Irishman to the ground. They both coughed at the force of the impact, and Yuu had the good sense to roll off the other man, hitting the stone floor with a grunt.
"Ooof," Darcy groaned, holding his stomach as he tried to take deep breaths.
"Watch where you're going," Yuu bit out coldly, heaving himself up and grabbing Mugen's hilt again.
"I could say the same of you," Darcy choked out, coughing again from having the wind knocked out of him. "What the hell were you doing gamboling down the corridor like that?"
Yuu sighed deeply, though it ended with a small cough. "Looking for Lavi. The idiot ran off, and I can't find him."
"Oh, I saw him a couple hours ago, walking into a room by the library," Darcy said, pulling himself to his feet and dusting himself off. The man turned and began to stride off.
"Wait." Yuu's eyes widened. Hadn't they been awake past midnight? He'd heard the other man mumble something incoherent but that had ended with "Bookman."
Darcy stopped walking away, turning back to face Yuu. "What?"
"What day is it?" Yuu asked, his voice coming out in some horrified version of its usual icy tone.
"Er, the fifth, right?" Darcy replied. "Why?"
Urgency gripped Yuu like an iron rod. "Did Lavi do or say anything strange when you saw him?" He didn't know why his voice sounded so urgent, and he cursed himself for it. Even worse was the fact that he currently had his hands fastened around the other man's biceps. He must have looked ridiculous. And worried. But DAMN IT ALL. He. Was. Not.
The Irish Exorcist looked taken aback at Yuu's words, but he replied nonetheless. "Er, he did look a bit different, now that you mention it. Almost… I don't know, emo?"
Yuu blinked in confusion. "Nani?" Yuu asked shortly. Thankfully, the other man seemed to understand what he meant, as he went on.
"Emo is like… well, it's a type of music, but now it's used to refer to people who are… like, angst-ridden, shy, introverted… depressed, really. It's usually associated with things like self-injury or suicide-"
Yuu didn't listen to the rest, dashing off in the direction of what had been Bookman and Lavi's room. He ran past a shocked Lolek and a scandalized-looking Miranda. He barely registered which hallways he passed through, his mind on one specific goal: get to Lavi.
He threw open the door, huffing from the exertion, and froze. Lavi was lying despondently on Bookman's bed. That wasn't what had made him stop, though. Lavi was on his side, his heavily-scarred hands outstretched above his head. Though they could barely grasp it, his hands gently held a letter opener. He was staring transfixed at it as if it was the most interesting object in the world. He spun it lightly, round and round, idly pricking at his skin here and there. Yuu gulped. Emo. Self-injury. Suicide. And that awful, uncaring and soulless face Lavi was making. Yuu didn't care. He didn't. But for some reason, the idea of Lavi being hurt or dead cut him deeply, like his father's knife had. He ran over to Lavi, quick as he could, and threw the thing from the other man's grasp, not caring about the painful whimper that action elicited.
Lavi grimaced up at him and stretched out his hands as if to try to do Yuu some type of injury, and Yuu did the only thing he could think of: he pinned Lavi down to the bed, one hand to each of the redhead's wrists, putting his full weight on the taller man.
"Yamero," he hissed through clenched teeth. Lavi's eye widened for a fraction of a second, but then it was back to how it had been.
"My sun," Lavi whispered, and then a tear streaked down his face from his visible eye.
Yuu froze. How had he not realized it before? Lavi had mentioned it so often. He had mentioned so many things about that "sun" of his, and he had never understood it. But the way he put it now made it absolutely clear. He, Kanda Yuu, was Lavi's sun, the thing Lavi said was keeping him warm. He was very sure that "warm" equated to "sane," and that distressed him. Far more than it distressed him, however, it made him feel very warm himself. His chest was nearly bursting with some emotion that, damn him, he wasn't supposed to be feeling.
"I'm here," he said, his voice low, cracking for some unknown reason. Kuso, he thought. Why am I caring? Because that's what it was, that feeling in his chest. Somehow—and he had no idea how, when, or why—he had come to care for the baka usagi under him. And for some reason, he didn't seem to mind it as much as he'd thought he would.
It didn't take him long to come to his senses. He couldn't care for anyone. It hurt too damn much, and he'd given up on it years ago. He pushed himself away—when had they started embracing?—forcing himself to back up as quickly as humanly possible. His gaze went everywhere, searching, searching for a way out of this situation. He cared for Lavi. That was irrevocable. It was truth, it was solid fact. He couldn't take it back, as much as he wanted to. But he could still keep the other man from knowing, because Lavi didn't need to know.
He heard a sleepy grunt—had Lavi fallen asleep? Had Yuu?—and then a voice emerged. "Yuu?" Lavi asked, his voice heavy, thick.
Yuu backed out of the room, eyes wide with alarm. Lavi couldn't know. No one could know, because Yuu was stone. He was icy, and he was solid. He was unfeeling, a non-living entity. He didn't do such human, such living, things like care. He could keep his secret—no one would ever need to know that he did.
He turned as he left the room and ran back to Lavi's. He'd meant to go to his own room, but Lavi would return eventually, and he would probably be as nonfunctional as before. Yuu cared, and he would probably do just about anything to make sure Lavi was alright.
Sure enough, five minutes later, Lavi came stumbling into the room, thankfully without the letter opener.
"Yuu, why'd you run away?" He asked. This persona was different than the one he'd had for the past three weeks. It was partly "Lavi," but it held a curiosity in its tone that was completely out of character for the bright, cheery persona. It was quieter as well, and Yuu wondered if this was the next Lavi he'd be dealing with.
"Che," he said, turning his head away so as not to make eye contact. He didn't want to respond to Lavi's question, because if he did, he knew he'd tell the truth, and that was unbearable.
"Are you okay?" Lavi asked, moving until he was uncomfortably close. Yuu stiffened at the proximity and had to force himself to relax. Lavi wasn't going to hurt him. He would never do anything of the sort. Yuu breathed in deeply and backed up until Lavi was at least a meter from him.
Lavi's eye held something strange, an emotion Yuu had never seen in it.
"Why are you backing away? Did I do something wrong?" Lavi's voice cracked, and a pitiful tear fell from behind the eye patch.
"Tch." Was that all he could say? Why couldn't he bluster his way out of this situation, just as he always had.
"Yuu, why won't you answer me?" There was a sob in Lavi's throat.
"Che." Really, he was getting rather repetitive.
"Yuu, please, please, tell me what I did! I can't fix it if I don't know what it is. How did I hurt you?" Lavi's voice was pleading, holding some intangible hurt that floored Yuu. His eye was desperate and teary, and his face was so horrifyingly pitiful that Yuu wasn't aware that he had moved until his arms were wrapped tightly around Lavi.
"It's nothing you did, baka," he murmured into the other man's neck, and he was revolted to note that tears were leaking from his own eyes.
Yuu hadn't cried since he was ten, since the time Tiedoll had taken him in. He held Lavi like a lifeline, trying to stop the incriminating tears from making tracks down his face. He was vaguely aware that Lavi had wrapped his own arms around his waist. He just needed to stay still and stop those damn tears from flowing like he was some… girl.
"Oh, I'll give you something to fucking cry about, Yuu-chan. If you're gonna be a girl, there better be a good reason for it." The man slipped from his view, and Yuu let out a small, relieved breath. He knew something worse was coming, as that invariably happened after such a comment, but for now, he was simply glad the hair-cutting knife was gone. He was surprised his hair could still grow, but he thanked his higher deities that it still did. There was more metal on wood, but the quality was longer, as was the duration. Yuu's heart stopped for a moment, fear dripping into his stomach and chest like an icy beverage. He gasped as his father slunk back into view, carrying a tomato knife. Yuu shrank back into himself in terror. The man threw him back on the kitchen table, where he'd been sitting, and pointed the knife at Yuu's face. His father opened the top of his jinbei, spreading it until Yuu felt cool air touch his chest. He shivered, more in fear than in actual cold, but he froze the second he felt the blade on the left side of his stomach. Pain. Screams—were they his? They couldn't be, he wasn't allowed. Hot, burning, scorching pain inched its way sickeningly slowly up in a curve to his ribs. Yuu shouted, his scream becoming a guttural screech as the pain grew exponentially. He would not-could not-look at the wound, because he knew what he would see there. If he survived this, it would always be marked jaggedly, crookedly, on his skin. The pain continued along with the man's cuts, deeper and longer. Every breath he took was sharp. He wasn't getting enough air. Bile oozed up his throat, and for a moment he choked, unable to swallow it back down. He clenched his jaw shut, smashed his tongue against his front teeth, forcing the muscles to move over and over until the path to his lungs was clear once more. White hot agony emanated from that area and Yuu fought against the unconscious oblivion his body was trying to force him into. He couldn't faint—he couldn't. If he did, what was to say he would ever wake up again? In the back of his mind, he felt the tears pouring out of his eyes at the same fast pace of the blood from his stomach and the cries and whimpers of pain as he tried to ride it out. He heard a laugh, a sick, maniacal laugh, above him, and he looked in its direction. He saw the man with a sickeningly large smile as he giggled over his pain-ridden son. Yuu decided at that moment that he would never cry again. He would never give that man the pleasure of seeing it. He didn't know how hard it would be to keep that promise.
"Since you wanted something to cry about, I'll give it to you, ne, Yuu-chan?" He wore a sick, gruesome smile that promised a lifetime of agony. Swiftly, the man sliced down, going from Yuu's collar bone down to pelvis, cutting through his jinbei and into his skin. A surface cut, but it hurt. Another tear fell from his eye, and a third one joined it a moment later at the other side of his face.
August 5, 2013—The Dark Order, Main Branch
He was number three. Number three was "shy and curious." Number three was a bit emotional, but he was a good kid. His name was Thomas. Lavi wasn't quite sure if that was what he wanted, but he needed something with emotion, so he went right away for his least objective persona.
His sun was pushing away from him, a strange, panicked look in his eyes. He ran away, and Lavi felt stricken. What had he done? He looked around and felt a harpoon shoot through his heart as he recognized the room. Why had he gone to Bookman's room? Then he remembered that today was Bookman's birthday. He remembered vaguely another persona taking him here, but the persona hadn't been one of his forty-nine. It had been repressed in the back of his Bookman Corner, and now he was back there. Thankfully, Lavi couldn't feel him, so he pulled himself up, hating that he could barely move his hands, and walked slowly back to his room.
He got to his room without incident and was both relieved and happy to note his sun was in there. But his sun had run away, and Lavi wanted—needed—to know why.
"Yuu," he said softly, "why'd you run away?" He questioned, stepping forward a bit.
"Che." Yuu turned his head away. Lavi stumbled forward until he was only centimeters from the other man.
"Are you okay?" Lavi asked as he moved. His sun stiffened, and Lavi felt his heart clench in a sudden depression. He barely noticed Yuu relaxing himself, muscle by muscle; he was concentrating too hard on keeping the tears at bay. He did, however, notice Yuu backing up, and his heart gave another painful squeeze. His sun was rejecting him, and it hurt.
"Why are you backing away? Did I do something wrong?" Lavi asked, his voice cracking as he lost his battle against the tears. He felt one fall under his eye patch, bypassing it and following the curve of his cheek.
"Tch." Why wasn't Yuu responding? What had he done to make Yuu like this?
"Yuu, why won't you answer me?" He said, a sob beginning to form. He was seriously beginning to fear that he had completely alienated the only person besides Bookman that had ever been important to him.
"Che."
"Yuu, please, please, tell me what I did! I can't fix it if I don't know what it is. How did I hurt you?" Lavi pleaded. He was getting cold. He needed something to warm him up, but his sun wouldn't do that anymore, because he had hurt it, made it unwilling to shine on him.
Hot, strong arms wrapped firmly around his own, and Lavi could only be glad for the warmth, unable to process anything else.
"It's nothing you did, baka," his sun murmured into his neck. Lavi felt something hot and wet and realized that his sun was crying. He was shocked. Suns didn't cry. Not his, at any rate. He wrapped his arms around Yuu's waist, and at some point, he led them to the bed that was on their right. His sun wouldn't let him go, and Lavi gradually began to warm up again. Somehow, they were under the covers, and at some point, they were asleep. Lavi dreamt of his own private beach, the one where his sun resided, warming Lavi and the rocks and the clear blue ocean of the bay.
It was the first lurch of the other man that woke Lavi.
It was the whimper and the tear that fell from the other man's right eye that kept him awake. An arm went from Lavi's waist to Yuu's right ear, and the man's face was screwed up in pain. Then the man stopped all movement, and then he shivered and made a small whining sound. Another tear fell from his right eye, and Lavi felt something on his shoulder, indicating a twin tear from Yuu's other eye. The man shivered again, and then his stomach muscles went tense. Lavi thought that was the end of it.
Until the man screamed. It was unearthly—something he'd never heard, even when battling beside the other man. He started convulsing, and both arms went to his stomach as a howling screech ripped from Yuu's throat. Lavi sat up, trying to hold the other man down, to keep him from falling off the narrow, twin-sized bed. Tears poured from the sleeping man's eyes at an alarming rate, and all the time, Yuu twisted and turned, holding his stomach as if he was trying to keep his guts from spilling out into the cold, morning air. Screams and moans pervaded the air until it was thick with them, and Lavi abruptly realized he needed to do something.
"YUU!" He screamed, slapping the other man from his nightmare. Yuu's eyes snapped open, and he threw Lavi back as he scuttled backward until he hit the headboard. He was still screaming and tears still made rivers down his cheeks. His eyes held a trauma so deep that Lavi felt himself drowning in it.
"Calm down, Yuu-chan!" He yelled, launching himself forward onto the other man. He threw his arms around Yuu's neck, around Yuu's hair that was stuck to his skin with sweat. The other man screamed even louder, and Lavi went flying. Why was his sun doing this to him? He hadn't done anything to deserve this one.
"DON'T EVER CALL ME THAT!" The other man roared, and he drew his suddenly activated Innocence, pointing it Lavi. He thrust forward, and Lavi barely had Oodzuchi Kodzuchi in front of himself in time to block. Yuu attacked again, and Lavi blocked a second time, growing it enough to make a wall between them. He both felt and heard Yuu hacking away at the other side of his hammer, sobbing and screaming until he fell into a heap. Once the attacks had ceased, Lavi lowered his Innocence and let it deactivate on its own. Yuu was a mess, sobbing hard into his green comforter. Lavi tried to grab him around the shoulders, but the other man gave something akin to a hiss and pushed him away.
Opposite from the Sun Corner of his mind, the Bookman Corner rebelled, and then he was floating…
A/N: There. Finally some satisfaction for the Allen/Lenalee fans. And can you believe it? There was plot movement? Also, wiki tomato knifes. They're crazy. Crrraaazzzyyy. And the Latin is what used to be said at the end of the Catholic Mass, back when it was in Latin (not surprisingly).
