Tahno: If you'd like to learn how a real pro bends, I could give you some…private lessons.

Korra: If you're a waterbender, why are you white?

*Bolin momentarily stops deepthroating his noodles to stare at Korra*

Bolin: Oh my God, Korra, you can't just ask people why they're white.

Toph: That one there, that's Ty Lee. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Sokka sat next to her in English last year.

Sokka: She asked me how to spell lychee.

Toph: That tall one, that's Mai.

Sokka: She's totally rich because her dad's the ruler of New Ozai.

Toph: Mai knows everybody's business, she knows everything about everyone.

Sokka: That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.

Toph: And evil takes a human form in Azula. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical evil, crazy Fire Nation princess, but in reality, she's so much more than that.

Sokka: She's the queen bee—the star, those other two are just her little workers.

Bolin: What's up?

Korra: Can I help you?

Bolin: You Water Tribe?

Korra: I'm the Avatar.

Bolin: I feel that.

Tenzin: Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it. Okay, promise? Okay, now everybody take some rubbers.

Tahno: Is your muffin buttered?

Korra: What?

Tahno: Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?

Korra: My what?

Asami: Is he bothering you? Jason, why are you such a skeeze?

Tahno: I'm just being friendly.

Mama Mako: Hey, you guys! Happy hour is from four to six!

Korra: Um, is there alcohol in this?

Mama Mako: Oh, God, honey, no! What kind of mother do you think I am... Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you're going to drink, I'd rather you do it in the house.

Asami: She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me? Who does she think she is?

Iroh: You're right, hon.

Asami: I like *invented* her, you know what I mean?

Tahno: Oh my God, I love your scarf! Where did you get it?

Mako: It was my dad's.

Tahno: Vintage, so adorable.

Mako: Thanks!

Tahno: That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I've ever seen.

Korra: Hey!

Mako: Why were you talking to Tahno?

Korra: I don't know, I mean, he's so weird, he just, you know, came up to me and started talking to me about cactus juice.

Mako: He's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Tahno. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first girlfriend Asami who was totally gorgeous but then she moved to the Fire Nation, and Tahno was like, weirdly jealous of her. Like, if I would blow him off to hang out with Asami, he'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-guys pool party, I was like, "Tahno, I can't invite you, because I think you're gay." I mean I couldn't have a gay guy at my party. There were gonna be dudes there in their bathing suits. I mean, right? He was GAY. So then his dad called Toza and started yelling at him, it was so retarded. And then he dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and he came back in the fall for high school, all of his hair was all styled and he was totally weird, and now I guess she's on cactus juice.

Katara: Oh, god.

Toph: You dirty little liar!

Katara: I'm sorry, I can explain.

Toph: Explain how you forgot to invite us to your party?

Sokka: Toph, I cannot stop this ostrich-horse. I have a curfew.

Katara: You know I couldn't invite you. I had to pretend to be plastic.

Toph: Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. You're plastic. Cold, shiny, hard plastic.

Sokka: Curfew, 1:00 AM, it is now 1:10.

Toph: Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome lychee juice, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each other's awesomeness?

Katara: You know what? You're the one who made me like this so you could use me for your 8th grade revenge!

Toph: God! See, at least me and Azula know we're mean! You try to act so innocent like, "Oh, I use to live in the Southern Water Tribe with all the little arctic hen, and the little otter penguin!"

Katara: You know what! It's not my fault you're like, in love with me, or something!

Toph: What?

Sokka: Oh, no, she did not!

Toph: See? That's the thing with you plastics. You think everybody is in love with you when actually, everybody HATES you! Like, Aang, for example, he broke up with Azula and guess what? He still doesn't want you! So why are you still messing with Azula, Katara? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch! Here! You can have this. It won a prize.

*Sokka rides away, Toph is still yelling*

Sokka: And I want my green bag back! I want my green bag back! Water tribe, OUT!

Zuko: Suki made out with Master Piandao! And so did Yue!

Suki: You little slut!

Yue: You're the slut!

*swearing*

Ty Lee: I can't go out.

*soft fake cough*

Ty Lee: I'm sick.

Azula: Boo, you whore!

Student: Nice wig, Toph. What's it made of?

Toph: Your mom's chest hair!

Mai: I think tonight might be the night with Zuko.

Ty Lee: What are you talking about? You've already slept with him

Mai: Yeah but tonight's night I like it.

Asami: It's called the Ember Island Fat Flush and all you drink is lychee juice for 72 hours.

Mako: Lemme see that... this isn't even lychee juice, it's lychee juice cocktail. It's all sugar.

Asami: I wanna lose three pounds.

Tahno: If only you knew how mean she really is... You'd know that I'm not allowed to wear aviator hats, right? Yeah! Two years ago she told me aviator hats were her thing and I wasn't allowed to wear them anymore. And then for the Solstice my parents got this really expensive cow-hippo leather aviator hat and I had to pretend like I didn't even like it and...it was so sad. And you know she cheats on Mako? Yes, every Thursday he thinks she's driving Satomobiles but really she's hooking up with General Iroh in the projection room above the auditorium! I never told anybody that because I am such a good friend!

Asami: OK, I'm going to forgive you, because I'm a very Zen person. And I'm also on a lot of pain medication right now. You know Mako really does like you? He was always talking about how unusual you are. Really pissed me off. It's like, when I was seven, I had this really expensive toy carriage from the Earth Kingdom. But I never played with it, so my mom wanted to give it to my cousin. But even though I didn't want it...

Korra: You begged your mom to let you keep it?

Asami: No. I threw it down the stairs. I smashed it 'cause I didn't want anyone else to have it. But that's just me.

Bolin: You can't join the Junior Metalbending Police, it's social suicide!

Lin: Thanks, Bolin.

Hasook: Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin because I use super jumbo tampons... but I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide set vagina!

Tenzin: Yeah, I can't do this.