A/N: Written for The Slytherin Cabal's 1k in 1 week challenge. The prompts were umbrella, servant, and utopian. I'm a little short on the word count, but I like it just the way it is.

"It's both ostentatious and simultaneously demeaning that he thinks having a house elf standing on a stool, holding an umbrella over his head while it rains, makes him seem more in tune with Muggleborns," Hermione whispered out of the corner of her mouth, never turning her attention away from the candidate for Minister of Magic speaking before a small crowd in Diagon Alley.

On a dias, facing a decent-sized crowd, stood a smartly dressed wizard in a three piece suit. His tie was red, which may have surprised some wizards and witches who thought people weren't allowed to wear anything but their Hogwarts house colors for the rest of their lives. Hermione knew it was a cunning strategic move to wear the power color that just so happened to belong to correspond to what had been his riva house.

"I swear he's trying. Draco's attempting to show he doesn't need to use magic for everything." Theo coughed into his hand, covering a mumbled word that sounded suspiciously like idiot. The tall wizard standing beside Hermione also shrewdly kept his voice low and concentration trained straight ahead. "He's one of the people."

Hermione snorted softy, before she forced herself to keep on smiling benignly, in case anyone was watching her. She shifted her weight slightly, moving it from one high-heel-clad foot to the other, minding the cracks between the cobblestones. "He's using a servant that is magically bound to fulfill his every whim, even if that means the creature gets drenched in a downpour and probably develops pneumonia-"

"What's pneumonia?" Theo broke in.

"Focus, Theo, that's not the point!" Hermione scolded, upset at being interrupted in her perfectly plotted speech. "The point is that he could have used an Impervious Charm. No one here is impressed by him appearing to be unable to master a spell third years students at Hogwarts are expected to know. And either way, it's still an unnecessary show of his wealth."

Hermione sensed Theo's eye roll - she had seen it enough times in the past two years that she could detect it with her back turned.

"People may be willing to forgive him, but no one is going to forget he's the richest wizard in Great Britain."

"Hmph," she answered, crossing her arms, not quite willing to admit he had a point. "Either way, the elf is in bad taste."

In front of them, Draco Malfoy's speech had come to a point where questions would be expected from the attendees. Hands began to raise around them. The pair was standing about two-thirds back in the crowd, offering them an excellent vantage point to gauge the reactions of the audience.

Theo looked pointedly at Luna Lovegood's raised hand waving languidly among a sea of ones rigidly straight in the air. "If anything was a mistake here today, it isn't the elf. It's that he's allowing questions."

"What? No, we talked about this," Hermione hissed, in her ire finally turning to look at Theo. "Draco needs to gain the confidence of the people who think he's too cocky and won't listen to advice."

"Except it's true," Theo answered, turning to look at Hermione with a raised brow. "He is cocky. He's barely taking our advice. And unlike everyone else here, we're getting paid to give it to him."

"Yes, well-" Hermione stopped her reply abruptly when Draco had the disastrous idea to actually call upon Luna.

The rambling 'question' (if it could even be called that) from the reporter for The Quibbler included some nonsense about "utopian habitats for Blibbering Humdingers".

"See, Draco answered it with grace," Hermione admonished Theo, after Luna received a reply.

Snickering, Theo stuck his hands in his trouser pockets and rocked back on his heels. "He didn't promise her anything. All I heard was artful deflection."

"Either way, he's gaining votes here today, you mark my words."

Cocking her head, Hermione studied Draco's perfectly coiffed hair, the flawless, bright white smile he flashed with seeming sincerity, and the friendly tone of voice he had affected as he answered a few more questions. Just when she had begun to relax again, Draco raked a hand through his hair.

"Fuck me," she breathed out, hoping Theo wouldn't hear her. She grabbed his elbow and continued, louder now, but still not at a level of regular conversation, "He's about to go off-script with additional remarks. I can tell by his body language."

Nodding in agreement, Theo was already a step ahead of her, moving toward the stage. Pausing for a moment, he glanced back at Hermione following closely.

Smirking, he said, "Oh, and I'll be happy to fuck you. But, only after we rescue Draco from himself."

It's been a while since I added anything to this collection. This little drabble was not looked over by a beta, so any mistakes belong solely to me.