The Muggle Way

Chapter 9: Exposure

Yes, it's finally an update after so long!

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Tom Riddle bolted into the house, stumbling into every door in search of the basement. "Harry?" he yelled hopefully and yet desperately. He scrambled across the floor and slammed open a door, nearly falling down a flight of stairs. He descended the stairs as fast as he could, jumping over the last few like an overexcited seven-year-old trying to impress his friends. The carpeted stairs creaked and groaned under his feet and only had a few seconds of rest before two more pairs of feet trampled them again, this time Figg's and Hermione's.

"Harry?" Tom's loud voice echoed in the dimly-lit basement. Tom whipped into a defensive stance as he heard muffled banging coming from his left. Realizing that it was Harry, he rushed to the door and fumbled with it before opening it wide, only to see another pair of doors. He tried each one at the speed of dark, and not light, to realize that one of them was locked.

"Alohomora!" he breathed, the door clicking open under his trembling hands. "HARRY!" he screamed, tackling his frantic lover.

Harry looked the same as ever, but a bit surprised when a screaming Tom glomped him and knocked the breath out of him. They crashed to the floor and Harry let Tom hug him for a few seconds. That is, until Figg piled herself on top of them and tried to get Tom off. "Get you him, ye evil fuzzledolt! Get off him, I say!"

Tom ignored this; he just buried his nose in Harry's hair, breathing in the smell that only Harry could have.

Hermione watched all this with the patience of a caterpillar crawling slowly. She just stood there, staring at the lot of them of the floor as if they were a colony of adders in winter.

"Wha-? Mrs. Figg!" Harry protested, laughing nervously as he clung to Tom.

"No!" the lady screeched, reminding Hermione of a banshee. "Yeh evil basteerd!" she yelled to a very bewildered and annoyed Tom. "Yeh corrupted poor Harry! Yeh…yeh made 'im buy an evil 'amster, yeh basteerd! Huh-how could you do somethin' so 'orrible!" She broke down in sobs, her back heaving as she slid to the floor unceremoniously.

"…" Tom blinked at Figg slowly several times uncomprehendingly.

There was a bizarrely long pause of silence before Harry snapped it like a twig by bursting out laughing. "A…a hamster? Th-that's why you kidnapped me?" he asked in a choked voice as tears of crazy laughter leaked out of his scrunched up eyes.

"See?" Figg demanded, sobbing her heart out. "He thinks it's funny!"

"…It is," Tom muttered, concerned for his mental safety for the first time in many years.

The old woman gasped in offence, her mouth agape. At least the tears have stopped. "Tis not funny!"

"Arabella…" Hermione coughed, looking slightly embarrassed as she laid a hand on her shoulder. "I'll have to agree with them on this…"

"Yer all crazy, the whole lot of you!" Figg screeched, her tears forgotten. She tried to get up to her feet but only succeeded in tripping over her old-fashioned slippers.

"Er…Mrs.Figg…" Harry began timidly with a glance at Tom. "I…wanted to buy the hamster, you know. Tom didn't have anything to do with it, so…"

"B-but…after all I've taught you when you were a little kid?" Figg stammered, thoroughly shocked. "After all those nights showing you all my darlin' cats? How could you, Harry?"

Harry flushed, her face becoming steadily red. "Well, Tom wouldn't get me anything else, not even a fish, see…"

Mrs. Figg brought both hands to the floor with an angry slam. "Fish? Fish?" she shrieked shrilly. "FISH? Dey are the most evil creatures that walk zee land! Even worse than 'amsters! Mister Tom, I have misjudged you, thank ye so much fer protectin' Harry from zee fish!" Stumbling, she helped Tom up as well as Harry, and ushered them up the stairs and to the door. "My apologies fer everything, feel free to drop by anytime, anytime at all, and we'll all have a nice long chat. Ciao now!" she said cheerily before closing the front door.

"…O…kay," Tom muttered, staring at the closed door.

"Let's go home," Harry murmured, snuggling into Tom's chest. "And forget this all happened."

"Let's," Tom agreed, walking down the driveway.

Hermione stared at the happy couple, shaking away the thought that this was just like a sappy movie ending.

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Sappy movie ending indeed. Maybe you'll get a bonus chapter to fill the void if you review!