Sebastian's P.O.V.
Being stressed out and upset by recent events, I bail on Nick and Jeff at the last minute, staying home instead of going to the movies with them. I have a feeling that Jeff doesn't really want me to go anyway, and with good reason. If he knew what was really going on, he'd dislike me a lot more than he already does.
Ever since we slept together last week, all I've thought about is Hunter. I hate myself so much for being in love with him and I hate myself even more for letting him know about it. I'm ashamed of myself for about a million reasons, but's he's the root of just about all of them. Coming up with no better solution on my own, I decide it might be time to talk to him about it. Besides, it's difficult avoiding him when we have three classes together as well as show choir.
I walk abruptly into his room and sit down on his bed, where he's lying down and talking to Flint. Oblivious to the fact that I was being rude and interrupting them, I turn to Hunter, "I need to talk to you. Meet me in my room in five minutes. Don't be late." Both boys stare awkwardly as I get up and walk out of the room as quickly as I came. I walk back to my dorm, hoping that he comes.
I pace back and forth across my room nervously while I wait for him, looking at the clock every 30 seconds. He walks in no more than 2 minutes early, closing the door quietly behind him, "You wanted to see me?"
I nod as we both sit down, "Yeah. As easy as it would be, we can't just pretend last week never happened. I've been upset with you, but..."
He rests a hand on my thigh, "But...?"
I sigh, eyes drifting down to the floor, "But that doesn't change the way that I feel about you. And I know you feel the same. Not just because you said it, but I mean, I could feel it..."
"You're right," he agrees soberly, "I've been wanting to talk to you for days, but I always felt wrong, you know? I felt like I didn't have the right to even bring it up..."
"Yeah, I guess I see what you mean, but this needs to be addressed. I can't live like this..." I look up at him, pain filling my eyes, "I care about Jeff, he's my friend. I don't want to see him get hurt. Selfish reasons aside, it's not right for you to be with him if you're in love me. Everyone's just gonna get hurt in the end, you know that's true..."
"I'm going to break up with him eventually. I'm just waiting for the best time, you know? I'm hoping that we can maybe just sorta drift apart and he won't have to feel a thing..."
I raise an eyebrow, "Then how come you've been getting so much closer to him lately?"
He sighs, "I felt guilty for cheating on him. I was subconsciously trying to make it up to him, I guess. But you're right, you're right, that was a pretty dumb move."
I grab his hands in a frantic motion, "If you need time, fine. But I, I don't think I can stand being away from you. It's eating me away inside. I, I'm scared that I really need you..."
He pulls me into his arms instantly, "I love you, Bas. I love you so much. Just hang in there a while longer, okay?"
I shake my head, pulling away a little, "I don't think I can, Hunt. Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting to be with you? And now that I know what it's like, I just, I just can't stand it."
He kisses me gently on the lips, "Then be with now. Just, in secret until I can let Jeff down easy. It would kill him to know the truth. I, we can't do that to him."
I nod, "Okay, fine. I'll take what I can get. But try and be quick about it. And um, just don't have sex with him, okay?"
"Trust me, I'm not going to have sex with him." He replies, an exasperated tone in his voice.
I raise an eyebrow, "Why do you say it like that? I mean, did something happen?"
He bites his lip, "We almost had sex last night, but then he freaked out and ran off. I talked to him this morning and he said that everything's fine, but I don't really know."
I frown a little bit, "Yeah, that would explain a lot. He was having a panic attack last night. It was pretty bad but he never would tell me why. Why did you try to have sex with him, anyway?"
"I don't know..." he mutters, sounding troubled, "The same reason that I've been trying to get closer to him all week. I guess I thought that if I had sex with him it would somehow make up for having sex with you... I mean, I thought that I had ruined my chances with you, I thought you were done with me."
I sigh, putting my hand on his shoulder, "It's okay. We all make mistakes. I can't blame you for that, I totally shoved you away last week."
He wraps his arm my waist and pulls me into his lap, "Speaking of which, are you still mad about that?"
"I guess not." I mutter quietly, "As long as you promise you and Jeff will be over soon."
"Of course."
I smile, giving him a small peck, "Then I guess we're totally fine."
He lies down, positioning me beneath him, "So, um, what time do you think Nick and Jeff will be home?"
"Honestly, I'm not sure, but they've already been gone over two hours, so I don't think we should try anything now..." I reply, bumming that we can't really do anything right now.
He kisses me on the cheek, "You don't think we have even like, fifteen minutes?"
"Better safe than sorry." I giggle, pushing him off me and sitting back up.
He pulls me up against me, kissing all over my neck, "What if we go into my room?" he asks in between kisses.
"What about Flint?" I ask, one hand on his back.
He frowns a little bit, taking his mouth off me, "Ugh, this really sucks. I mean, I could probably get rid of him, but he would definitely suspect that something is up, you know?"
I roll my eyes, "As amazing as it is, we don't have to have sex. Unless that's all your in this for..."
He shakes his head, putting his arms around me, "Of course not. Speaking of which, you're not allowed to go out and find strangers to fuck anymore, just so you know."
"Duh," I reply, leaning my head on his shoulder, "As ass backwards as all of this is right now, I think some basic relationship rules apply."
A wide grin spreads across his face. I look over at him, a little confused, "What?"
"What?"
"What's that smile for?"
He sighs, petting my hair, "I don't know, I guess I'm just not used to the term 'relationship' applying to us."
"Well you'd better get used to it." I comment with a laugh, "Cause you're not getting rid of me anytime soon."
"'Course not." He replies with a sloppy kiss.
"Okay, that's enough of that." I murmur, standing up, "You should probably get of here, your boyfriend could be back soon."
He gets up, too, but pulls me right back into his arms, "I'm not sure how I feel about you calling all the shots around here. You're awfully demanding, you know."
I give him a tender kiss on his soft lips, "You'll learn to love it. You knew before we got into this that I was almost as much of a tyrant as you are."
"Almost." he agrees, returning the kiss, "Meaning I'll still have the upper hand."
I squirm out of his arms, "You're the leader in show choir, I can take the lead when we're alone."
He tackles me onto the bed, "Nice try, but not in a million years."
I shove him off again, "Yeah, whatever. You should seriously get out of here, though. It's getting later by the second."
We both get up and he gives me one last kiss, "You're probably right. I'll talk to you later and we'll make a time to meet up again."
I roll my eyes, "More like hook up."
"Maybe, maybe not." he mutters with a wink before sneaking out the door.
I change into my pajamas, feeling a lot better about things with Hunter. I still feel a little bit guilty about stealing my friend's boyfriend behind his back, but in the end, I'm doing everyone a favor. Everyone knew that Hunter and Jeff weren't gonna work out. And now everyone can get what they want. Me and Hunter can have each other, so of course we'll both be happy. And Nick wants Jeff, and whether he knows it yet or not, I'm sure Jeff wants Nick. I mean, who couldn't want Nick? If I wasn't totally nuts about Hunter I sure as hell would.
Jeff walks into the room not ten minutes after Hunter left. I smile over at him, relieved at my good timing, "Hey, Jeff, how was the movie?"
He returns the smile, sitting down and kicking his shoes off, "It was pretty good, scary though."
"Good thing you had Nick to snuggle up to, huh?"
He rolls his at me, quickly realizing my intentions, "Jeez, Bas, it's not like that. Nick and I are just friends. I have a boyfriend, remember?"
"Fair enough," I comment, leaning against the wall and crossing my arms, "But suppose you were single and Nick asked you out, would you still just want to be friends with him?"
"Why are you even asking me this?"
"Just answer the question."
He sighs, "If I was single, and if by some strange chain of events Nick happened to ask me out, yeah, I would say yes. But don't tell anyone I said that or I'll skin you."
I grin, climbing into bed, "Your secret is safe with me, I promise. And I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of, Nick is sexy as hell. I mean, damn, I'd tap that."
He shakes his head at me, changing his clothes, "You're ridiculous, you know that?"
I nod, "Duh, you're not the first to tell me that, and I doubt that you'll be the last."
I feel a strange sense of accomplishment as I fall asleep that night. I feel like somehow in doing something terrible I'm doing something good. I think, everything considered, I'm not a bad person in all of this. I'm not going to ruin anyone's life, in fact, if everything goes smoothly, everything will be perfect for everyone.
