AN: Sorry for the delay, folks. Having a lot of trouble with chapter 10 and wanted to make sure I didn't need to change anything here.

First Kiss / Last Breath 9

Lily wasn't the only one talking about lovey dovey sexy stuff and, once again, Harm was the conversation partner. This time it was Aidan. On Tuesday, when Harm needed to go back to the Rabb Runways office after the younger children were in bed to complete some paperwork, Aidan decided to take a deep breath and tag along with him.

"Um, dad," he said slowly as they walked to the work vehicle they had for running about the property.

"Yes," he replied, just as slowly.

"Um, can we, um … can we sort of have a talk," he said, climbing in and looking at everything but his father.

"Sure," Harm replied, opening his own door. "What about?" he added when he was sitting in the driver's seat.

"Ah, well, you know, a father-son talk," he mumbled.

As a child and young teen, Aidan had grown up in a household which strongly believed he should be seen and not heard. Nothing personal was ever discussed, no information was ever given, and no opinion was ever asked for. What Aidan knew about the human body, puberty and relationships was whatever was covered by teachers of varying abilities over the years, his peers and television. In his time on the farm, he had found one of the most challenging aspects of life was having to answer questions about himself.

How did he know what he wanted, what he liked, what his wishes and desires were when it had never mattered. He now had fantastic role models on how to treat a partner and what being in love should look like at varying stages of life. He had also had a crash course on learning that he, himself, was loveable, loved and capable of loving others. What he needed from his dad was to help him understand how he was supposed to navigate the pressures of teen relationships and Amelia.

Rather than head to the office, Harm decided to take his boy to a local café and have this conversation over drinks and food, thinking the added distraction may make it all a bit easier. Before he departed, he sent a quick message to Mac's cell which said 'Change of plans. Gone to Burtons. Explain later'.

After their order was taken, Harm figured he'd take the lead and try and be the father he wished he'd had when he was a teen. While Frank would have been prepared to do it for him, their relationship had been extremely tense at the time and so it wasn't a possibility. Harm wasn't going to dwell on the what- ifs and forged ahead.

"So," he said, leaning back in the booth. "Anything specific you want to know or is this just a chat?"

"More a chat, I guess," said Aidan, looking at his dad. "It's not about sex or that…" he added quickly.

"Okay," Harm replied. "But is it about you and Amelia?"

"Yeah, kinda…" he replied, playing with a fork.

"Are you something more than friends?" he asked, deciding to get to the point.

"I guess so," he said. "She told her friends I was her boyfriend yesterday, so I figure that's what I am."

"Do you want to be her boyfriend?" he asked, watching his son's every move.

"Yeah," he replied as a smile spread across his face. Harm smiled in response. "She's … well, she's pretty … nice."

"Nice?" Harm challenged, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, she's pretty," he confirmed, "And she's nice. I mean she's so smart and even though she is shy at first she's friendly and kind and helped me lots settling into school," he added in a rush.

"Aha," Harm said, nodding. "And I'm sure she likes you too."

"Ah, yeah, I guess, she kissed me after the dance," he said and Harm nodded again.

"Only after the dance?" he questioned and Aidan looked between his fork and father.

"Um, no…we've kissed a few more times since," he said, redness crawling up his neck into his cheeks.

"And has it been Amelia initiating it all?" Harm asked, wondering if his son was feeling out of his depth.

"Yeah, the first few times," he admitted. "But I …um… I kissed her first yesterday morning before school," he explained.

"Maybe that's what inspired her to tell her friends you were her boyfriend," he said, moving his hands so the waitress could put down his plate of cheesecake with berries.

"Yeah, I thought that too," Aidan said, looking at the apple pie and cream in front of him.

Over the course of their supper, Harm decided to focus the conversation on the aspect of healthy relationships, after all a healthy relationship should underpin all other actions. He, himself, had experienced too many unhealthy relationships and he knew the cumulative effect could impact on your ability to judge what was and wasn't working in relationships. Harm also knew that Aidan's key relationships prior to the farm had also been unhealthy and therefore this was where he wanted to start.

Harm went on to explain that only through understanding, trust, honesty, communication and respect would a relationship be healthy. And, to maintain it, there should be healthy boundaries which both partners had developed and respected.

"Has your relationship with mom always been a healthy one?" Aidan asked and watched as his father shook his head.

"To my deep regret and shame, I have to be honest and say no," Harm said, putting down his fork. "I love Mac so very much and I would definitely say we have a very healthy relationship now but it wasn't always the case, especially in the early days."

"Why was that?" Aidan asked as he finished his pie.

"There were a lot of reasons," he replied, wanting to be honest with his son. "Mac and I were both very different people when we met 20 odd years ago. We both were driven by our careers and the impact difficulties in our own childhoods and adolescence had on us as adults."

"Were you friends before she became your girlfriend?" he asked, slowly. "Good friends?"

"Sometimes," he answered truthfully. "I think it is fair to say that sometimes we were the best of friends and worst of enemies and other times we were the worst of friends and the best of enemies."

"Enemies? Really? But you guys really love each other," he said surprised.

"Now we do," he said, "But back then we both wanted something more but couldn't get over the past and kept going into self-preservation mode."

"What changed?" Aidan asked.

"Mattie was a strong influence," Harm said with a smile. "She made me realise that I was capable of loving and being loved."

Aidan gave half a chuckle. "That's what you guys have done for me. Didn't think it I was worthy of any of it."

"But you are," Harm said firmly, resting his hand on Aidan's arm. "You know that now, don't you?"

"Yes," he said with a nod. "I don't always remember … sometimes I get caught up in the past. Sometimes I have to remember this is my new life … but then sometimes it feels like I've only ever been with you and all that time with my grandparents wasn't even my life."

"Yep," Harm said nodding. "I can totally relate to that."

"Do you wish you could have your time over again and not have so many problems with mom?" he asked, picking up his drink.

"Yes and no," Harm said with a shrug. "There are certainly a few moments I would like to do over, some words I'd like to retract, some hurt I'd like to soothe but Mac and I have spoken a lot about it over the years and, in the end, it's what has made us who we are. It's what's given us all we have. It's given us this life that we love. Had anything been different early on, who's to say we would be right here, right now."

"Never thought of it that way," Aidan said.

While the conversation could have gone on for hours, Harm was aware of the time and that it was a school night.

"Now, I don't really want to cut this short," he said to Aidan as the waitress dropped the check on their table. "But you should have been in bed an hour ago."

"Yeah, I know," he said, "But it's been good."

"I think this is something we should do on a more regular basis," Harm said, standing and pulling on his jacket. "What do you think?"

"I'd like that, dad," he replied smiling. "I've never really had anyone to talk to and I just want to make sure that, after everything, I get the life that my first mom wanted for me. I just really want to make her proud."

"I think Ronnie would be exceptionally proud of you," Harm said, wrapping his arm around his eldest son as they walked out.

Mac spent the next few days cleaning the farmhouse, Trish and Frank's house and the mobile home, knowing her in-laws would be back on Sunday, ready for the birthdays and the Roberts were aiming to be there the following Thursday. She also knew she had days of baking planned for Saturday and Sunday and would freeze what she could for the following weekend's guests, party and Easter celebrations. Lily had put together a list of things to bake, most of which Grams had baked for them. It warmed her heart that Grams was still loved and remembered and a part of family celebrations.

With the house sparkling and organised by Friday night, and the kitchen plan prepared for the weekend, Mac fell into bed exhausted.

"So, what do you think?" Harm repeated, pulling his jumper over his head, only to discover it had taken less than a minute for his wife to be asleep. He had to smile; he knew before they got together Mac suffered greatly with insomnia which eased after their marriage and was a rare guest these days. It made him feel good that she found security and comfort in the home and life they had worked so hard to build together. Now, however, he'd have to wait until morning to find out her opinion on whether they should renovate and modernise the kitchen to cater for their large brood.

Having just drifted off to sleep, Harm was surprised by a hand patting his leg and opened his eyes.

"Mom?" he said sitting up. "We weren't expecting you until tomorrow afternoon."

"Well, I may have been a tad bit excited about coming back," she said as he climbed from the bed and embraced her. "And got an earlier flight."

"You're looking well," he said, ushering from the room to leave his wife sleeping. "Time on the west coast must have agreed with you."

"It was certainly warmer," she said, walking down the stairs. "And it was great to catch up with everyone."

"Do you miss not being there all the time now?" he asked as he went to the kitchen.

"Sometimes," she replied honestly. "The weather, the quiet, the ocean are all so beautiful."

"Do you ever think …" he started but didn't quite know how to finish the question.

"I do miss being there," she reiterated. "But when I am there, I miss being here far more." Harm grinned. That was the right response to his unasked question. "If only Bellevue and La Jolla could be a little closer…"

As Harm made coffee and prepared supper, Frank entered and hugged his son.

"Luggage is in, heating is on," he said referring to their own house. "All ready for a good night's sleep."

Frank also loved his time on the farm and his time in La Jolla, it was just the distance between them and the toll the long flights took on his ageing body. "What's been happening here?" he asked, stealing a cookie from Mac's hidden jar.

Over a late night supper, cuppa and chat, the trio caught up before heading off to bed by midnight. Mac had slept soundly through the night, so it was to her great delight to wake to the smell of breakfast cooking and fresh coffee brewing. It then caused concern when she realised her husband was still sleeping alongside her. Thinking it might be Lily and Jessie, she hurried downstairs to investigate and grinned when she saw her mother-in-law.

"Oh, mom, good morning," she said, hugging the older woman before kissing her cheek. "It's so good to have you back. When did you get in?"

"Last night," she said, still holding onto Mac. "I just couldn't wait to see all my grandbabies."

"And they will be excited to see you too," she said as she heard footfalls on the stairs.

Soon the twins and Frankie appeared all very excited to see Grandma once more and it wasn't long before Lily and Jessie came from their room to join the hustle and bustle at the breakfast table. Over all the family breakfast favourites, the kids chatted away, all trying to tell Trish their news at once and then they tried to repeat it all when Frank came in.

Harm was the only absentee from the table and while Mac thought it was odd he would sleep in, she let him be. She knew he'd had a few late nights recently and, even when in bed, had often been unsettled in his sleep.

When Colin spied the hire car he realised his grandparents-in-law had arrived and soon four more added to the clamour around the kitchen and all the while Harm slept.

It was almost an hour later that Mac made it upstairs to check on her husband, opening the door slowly, she stepped inside before closing it just as silently. Padding around to his side of the bed, Mac perched herself on the bed and used the back of her hand to check Harm's temperature.

"Not sick," he mumbled rolling back towards her and smiling sleepily.

"You sure?" she asked, caressing his face.

"I'm sure, gorgeous," he said reaching out for her. "A little sleep in is not a cause for concern."

"No, it's not," she agreed. "It's just that it's almost nine, there have been 12 people downstairs making a lot of noise for the last couple of hours and you have slept right through it. You're usually up at the first sound."

"I did wake up an hour or so ago," he said, pulling her down to lie beside him. "Heard it all. Thought I should make an appearance but started thinking about things and must have drifted off again."

"What were you thinking?" Mac asked, resting her palm on his cheek.

"That life is good," he said with a grin. "And that I am so very thankful for everyone and everything in this old house."

"Yeah, me too," Mac concurred before kissing him gently.

"I also got to thinking of some other things," he continued and Mac nodded, she knew there was something else going on.

"And what was that?" she prompted when he failed to go on.

"I think I've worked out what to do with Webb's money," he said. "Of course, if you have other ideas…"

Over the next few minutes, Harm explained his thinking. There were many wonderful people and organisations working tirelessly to support those who are serving, have served, died in service or the families left behind. Rather than spread the money too thin, he thought about what they had and picked organisations which focused on family, home, and support. He reasoned that $1,000,000 could be distributed between Wounded Warriors Family Support, Homes for Our Troops, Fisher House Foundation and Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society. Harm went on to explain that as it was Webb's legacy, the remaining $500,000 should be left to the CIA Officers Memorial Foundation.

"This is what's been keeping you up at night, isn't it?" she said gently and Harm nodded.

"I just wanted to be done with it," he said. "As tempting as it is to tear up the cheque and have nothing to do with it, it will do far more good in the coffers of those organisations. Something good coming from … well, from Webb."

"Well, I totally agree with you," Mac said, kissing him once more. "After Easter, when we have a few moments to ourselves, we'll take the cheque to the bank and make the necessary arrangements."

Upon returning to the kitchen, Mac found, much to her delight, that Trish had decided to replace her in the kitchen to do the baking with the girls. While she didn't mind baking, she would much rather eat Trish's creations than her own.

As the youngest three had headed next door, as per their previous plans, and Frank and Aidan had gone down to the hangar to work on some things for M.O.M., Mac realised she had the unprecedented opportunity of time to herself, something which rarely happened, and never on weekends and, rather than forego it, she was going to make the most of it.

"What are you smiling at?" Harm asked as he watched Mac dress after her shower.

"I have nothing to do," she said with a grin.

"Nothing?" he echoed and Mac nodded. "So, what are you going to do?"

"Nothing," she repeated grinning broadly.

"How do you do nothing in this place with all our kids?" he asked, watching her intently.

"Well, I am going to do something," she said as she ran a brush through her hair. "Just going to grab a few hours for me." Looking at the somewhat confused and concerned look on her husband's face, Mac continued. "I'm going to head into the library in Charlesville, spend some time reading, some time looking at the various courses and programs they have on offer and maybe see if there's something I can do for a few hours a week."

"Sounds like a good plan," Harm replied, kissing her head. He had been encouraging Mac for a while to look for something outside the house to do and was glad that she was finally going to look into it. Harm had no doubt his wife loved their life on the farm as much as he did, but he had Rabb Runways, aspects of the farm he still looked after and restoration of the aircraft Mac had given him a few years before which gave balance to the household duties and raising so many little ones. Mac had no such balance. And, after spending time with the Roberts' he wanted to make sure Mac was happy with life both in and out of the home.

"I thought so," she said with a smile. "But if you can get away in a few hours… maybe we could have a quiet little lunch for two at The Brandon."

"Oh, I can get definitely away," he said smiling in return.

Driving down the main street of Charlesville, Harm saw Mac's car already parked outside The Brandon and pulled his car into the bay alongside it. Climbing out, he scanned the street and spied her looking in the window a few shops past the hotel they would be dining at.

"What's got you so engrossed?" he asked, wrapping an arm around her and looking at the realtor's display window.

"Just looking at what's on the market," she replied, her arm surrounding him.

"Thinking of buying a hideout somewhere?" he joked, following her gaze back to the window.

"Yeah, sort of," she said, and Harm's smile faded quickly. "No, no, not like that," she said quickly when she noted the change in his demeanour.

"Then what," he said, dropping his arm and turning to face her.

"Look," Mac said, waving the couple of flyers she already had. "Let's go chat over lunch." She took two steps and realised Harm hadn't moved. "I promise you, it's all good."

While they waited for their order to arrive, Mac explained her earlier thoughts.

"Now," she said, taking her husband's hands across the table. "This is just a few thoughts, nothing concrete, nothing …"

"Just talk, gorgeous," he said, squeezing her hands.

"At the library, there's a huge display of all community events, educational courses, arts courses, IT programs, activities, local businesses, you know, all that sort of thing." Harm nodded. "And it got me thinking that there is a big community out here to be a part of."

"You want to move from Bellevue?" he asked, very concerned.

"No, not at all!" she said emphatically. "Just there's more happening community wise and it got me thinking that it's the type of place that Harriet would thrive in."

Harm nodded. "She would be in her element," he concurred. "But Charlesville is a long way from Maryland."

"Well, if Bud retired, they could move here," she said enthusiastically.

"And what would Bud do?" Harm asked, "I don't see him as community-minded as Harriet."

"The medical clinic around the corner is now on the market since they relocated to the bigger premises last month," Mac explained, placing one of the real estate flyers on the table. "Perfect for a legal practice. The pace might be a bit slower out here but the lifestyle's better."

"Roberts and Associates," Harm said with a smile. "Our young Lieutenant has come a long way."

"Yes, he has," Mac said with a nod. "But, um, I was kind of thinking Roberts, MacKenzie-Rabb and Associates," she added and then held her breath.

"Roberts, MacKenzie-Rabb and Associates," he echoed, not sure of his thoughts.

"I know this hasn't been thought through," Mac added quickly. "And I have no idea if it is viable or whether Bud and Harriet would even be interested… I wouldn't want to work full-time either, just small cases or maybe just with kids, you know, custody, adoptions, just …"

"I think it all sounds good," Harm said, squeezing her hands. "And if the Roberts' aren't interested in moving here, then we'll just find another way to do it."

Further conversation was curtailed by the arrival of their sumptuous meals; baked salmon for Harm and fillet mignon for Mac. "Just think," she commented after her last delectable morsel had been consumed. "I could eat here every time I worked."

"In that case, your salary would have to be directly paid into The Brandon," Harm said with a laugh.